PERVERT. (Victor, are we gonna do this again?)

Mebbe. But plain ole weird stuff too! Today's crap is all stolen. Thank you floydpinkerton.net, Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird, and Mutant News. Sorry, was tired, cranky, old, mowed yard... all fancy for "couldn't come up with any original idea today!"

Florida man, 76 year old auto dealer shuttle driver, donned black Doctor's bag... went door-to-door (claiming to represent a local hospital) giving free breast exams. Hehe. Slick bastard. Two 30-somethings let him into their homes and fondle away... Finally, one lady became suspicious when he began conducting a genital exam without latex gloves.. She called cops. He ran. Or sauntered. Or Tim Conway'ed it out the door. Bless his ingenuity though.. beats the hell outta driving a shuttle bus..

Elementary schoolteacher's aide Kumi Houston of Williamson County, Texas, was fired in November after she allegedly admitted to a sheriff's detective that she allowed an 11-year-old boy to reach under her bra and fondle her (which would clearly be illegal). However, as Houston's attorney later explained, her statement (which Houston did not deny making) was not necessarily a confession. What happened, said attorney Robert Phillips, is that his client "made a statement. It may be an admission, or it may be just (her) version of what happened. That's not a confession." Uh huh, yeah.

Just plain weird:
Inner Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun, at 7-foot-9 reputed to be the world's tallest man, was recruited by a commercial aquarium in Liaoning province, China, in December to reach into the stomachs of two dolphins to extract some plastic that they had swallowed and which was making them sick. Surgical instruments had irritated the dolphins' stomach, but Bao's 41-inch arm did the trick.

Howabout weird laws?

In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants. (How convenient for that shuttle-driver-doctor dude.)

Moose are not allowed to have sex on public streets in Fairbanks.

You might be a redneck if: In Arkansas a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

In Kentucky, it is illegal to remarry the same man four times.

In Salem, MA, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping nude in the rented rooms.

In New Hampshire, it is illegal to check into a hotel with an assumed name. (You may sleep nude however.)

In Alexandria ,MS, no man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

In Montana it is a felony for a wife to open her husbands mail. Damn right!

In Oklahoma people who make ugly faces at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHEAP THRILLS? PEEKIN'?
In Detroit, it is illegal to ogle a woman from a moving car.

In New York City, it is illegal for a man to ogle a lady. The accused are forced to wear horse-blinders.

In St. Louis, it is illegal for an on-duty firefighter to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown. In order to be rescued, a woman must be fully dressed.

In Charlotte, NC, women must have their bodies covered by 16 yards of cloth at all time.

In Columbus, GA, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.

and finally...

In Cleveland, OH, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, for men can see the reflection of their underwear.

Please PLEASE tell me this was more fun than reading about car bombs, Brits in Iran water, two policemen killed in North Carolina.. and even dudes jumping off cruiseships. (Woulda made the weird news but hell it's like the third time in a month.)

If you should see someone without a smile, smack the crap outta 'em and tell 'em to wakeup and smell the roses. Happy day, love, Victurd