Sunday, June 30, 2019

Human matter... Get it right the first time... The Sport's Page..

Coffee.. the morning news.. and hunger led me to McDonalds this morning.  I know I know, but I've eaten fairly healthily this week, it's time to splurge.

As I sat drinking coffee... then as I drove to McDonalds,..my mind ventured on writing a blog about "being 60-something.. how things "roll off me" now like rain on a duck's feathers..  ie, I don't/won't, get bent outta shape any longer.  Yeah, that's what I'll write about...

"Welcome back, may I take your order?"  Ahem.  How does she know I've been here before?  What if I never have?  VICTOR, remember... "roll off me."  Oh yeah.. k.

"Yes, I'd like a sausage biscuit, a sausage McMuffin and a cup of water please."

"So... do you want both sandwiches?"... Me..  brief silence..

Simmer down old codger, remember, this person is trying their best at minimum wage.  "Yes, please."  Forgive me Father, I thought internally "WHY would she ask that? I would never ask that."  As I pulled to the window, I wondered what she looked like.

I got to the window, a dude handed me my sandwiches.  I giggled internally, as this goes against everything the young man had been trained to do.  "Get the money first."  I contemplated driving off, but it ain't hard to spot a beat up silver PT Cruiser with a black convertible top and a redheaded old man that has a porn-star mustache (that's what my son says I look like.)  So I paid.

Then, the "so do you want both sandwiches" lady appears, without looking me in the eyes, hands me the water and says "have a nice day" and before I could shout out "You as well" the window was closed and she was off to argue with the next chap in line.  VICTOR!  Water off a duck's feather!  Oh yeah, sorry.

In as much as the order taker needs to get it right the first time, so do I, the grumpy old man need to get it right.  I AM convinced, the older I get, the less things bug me - but I gotta admit I slip.  The get it right first, to me, applies to one's reaction.  I think we all have instant reactions (we discussed horn honking at an intersection) - but, relaxing, asking "Does it really matter human?" helps us get to the point of "nope, grand schemea things, it don't."

As I drove to the City Park to chomp down on my "yes both please" sandwiches, I'd remembered a recent visit with a loved one going thru chemo.  This person's attitude, approach is so, so wonderful.  I gulped further into guilt for allowing the short order lady to upset me.

Sport's page first.  Always been that way, Believe it or not there are usually more life lessons there than in the front section of the paper.  The front section carries shootings, accidents, embezzlements, Left/Right argument and ends with the obits.  Getting it right would be to have the Sport's page first.

Wonderful lead article about our Chief's 2nd round draft pick that had zero to do with touchdowns, 40 yd dash speed, ego, yada... it was about his love for assisting special needs children.  Started in 6th grade and has been devoted to help ever since.  So Victor, how are you feeling about now about getting bent outta shape at Mickey D's?

Then, an article about our local girl's soccer team that recently won the Missouri State Championship.  In leading up to the long path, they were to play the crosstown rival who had beaten them earlier in the year..  The day before the game, the Liberty coach's brother committed suicide.  Geez.  I can't imagine.  He didn't tell the girls before the game...

After, he did.  In times when there are no answers as to "why", we all react in different ways.  This coach preferred to seek any good from it, and he stated "We talk about these pillars that I want the girls to learn.. and one of the major pillars that I talk about is being able to handle adversity..I said 'Ladies, a lot of things will knock you down.  You have to be able to pick yourself up."  Wow.  Four wins later, State Champs - way to go coach!

Yes, the Sport's page has a box score, results of Nascar, World Cup, Golf, who's injured, who's signed, who's cut.. who's fined.. but it also has things that matter to humans.

Dave Parker was/is, a vibrant personality.  Dave was in town to be inducted into the Negro Leagues 2019 Hall of Game.  He was Mr. Baseball in the 70's, and the Godfather of the "We are family" Pittsburgh Pirates.  While the smile is as huge as ever, the heart maybe even bigger - 7 years ago Dave developed a tremor... Tests would reveal he has Parkinsons.  So, what's Dave do?  He's devoting the vast majority of his remaining life to raise funds for Parkinsons' research.  Dave got it right the first time, and the second time.  A human that matters.

Stephen Piscotty, star baseball player for the St. Louis Cardinals, had the world by a string.  In the opening series of 2017, the Cardinals signed him to a 6 year $33.5 million dollar extension.  At some point in the season, he learned his mother (living near Oakland, CA) had ALS.  He skipped some games to go spend time with her.  Yes, baseball is a business, but thanks to two GM's with an eye on the books - but a hand on their heart, a trade was arranged and Stephen (with contract) was dealt to Oakland - where he got to spend a great, great deal of time with his mother before her passing in 2018.  They got it right, humans matter.

One more before I go.  Atop the leaderboard at the current PGA golf tourney is a gentlemen named Nate Lashley,  I am in his court rooting for him today.  Nate turned pro in 2005.. has played on mini tours, the LatinAmerica tour.. and has sold real estate on the side to make ends meet.  He FINALLY got his PGA tour card in 2018, then a knee injury shelved the remainder of the season.  He's made some OK money, but a win today would earn him more money than he's made in 14 total years as a pro.  Victor?  Why you rooting for him?

I'm rooting for him because he probably doesn't get all bent outta shape at the drive thru window in McDonalds.  You see, worse stuff has happened.  His junior year in college, his parents and his girlfriend had flown to watch him golf in the NCAA golf tournament.  As they flew home from Oregon to Nebraska, their plane crashed and all three expired in the crash.  Imagine.  I can't. I'm not certain I could ever deal with that kind of adversity, would have trouble picking myself up.  Go Nate.  Even if you don't win today, from my shoes, you've won.  Kudos.

So if you've ordered ketchup and mustard only and you bite into a big old pickle, don't be like Victor.  Water on the feathers.  Scrape it off, go find a shade tree, park.. read the Sport's page.  You, like me, may learn a lesson - and - find an idol to root for that has nothing to do with touchdowns, home runs, driving distance or penalty kicks.

Love, Victurd

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Jesus loves me this I know.......

Because the Bible tells me so.......

Some other stuff I know...  simply because observation, experience, 'been there' tells me so.....

If I have to pee, really REALLY bad, the light will turn yellow.

If I'm out driving, see an Aldi's, thus swerve into their parking lot - I will have 17 cents in change in my pocket.

The automatic flusher thingy at Wally World ALWAYS works when I exit the bathroom and there ain't no one in there.  The time that it doesn't work, and I exit...  uh huh... "Ahm, hi...howya doin'?"

40 pounds ago, i had this wonderful notion, "I know, I'm gonna try, really hard, to workout 100 consecutive days."  Long about day 91, I was feeling perty darn proud of myself.   Snowed that morning.  Lots.    Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor dark of night.. hell or highwater.  Four blocks to gym. Twenty-seven minutes to start car, get snow off, scrape windows.  Another, roughly 18 minutes to traverse those 4 blocks to the gym.  It was closed.

(Day 92, severe case of bronchitis. Ha)....

Gloom, despair and agony on me....

Proud, PROUD 'new' owner (awhile back) of 1999 Grand Marquis.  Proudly drove to watering hole to show my UAW townie friends.. "Oh, nice car - that will run forever."  "I know," I tossed in, "my dad always drove (the sister cars) Lincoln Continentals..200K miles on each and every one."  Next day, same UAW buddies, same watering hole.  Uh huh.  Won't start.  "Hey, can you guys help me push this across the highway to the mechanic joint? "  Did.  "Well sir, it's your fuel filter."  Whew, that can't be bad can it? "It's inside the gas tank, all in all, it will be $547 to fix."  Gulp.

Proud, PROUD 'new' owner of 2008 Chevy Uplander Van.  Nice.  All grandkids fit in it, wonderful trip to Omaha 3rd day I had it.  5th day I had it, radiator bad ($500+).  Inside first month, "Nah, I didn't pay that much for it.. I'll just get liability."  Dropped a cig, leaned down to p/u, uh oh, overcorrected, drove into a fence.  Engine caught fire. Totaled. Gulp.

Proud, PROUD 'new' owner of 2005 (CONVERTIBLE!) PT Cruiser.. Day 4, (NO VICTOR, please stop this!).. uh huh,  engine computer out.  Day 12, tranny probs.  Some couple $K's later, all is good.  Gulp.

Not all too long ago, I very quickly turned $100 into $200 (in like 5 minutes) playing blackjack.  If you ever hear "I always win", huh uh, they speaky with forked tongue.  On this day, I did, and had the good sense to get up, get out.  Next day to Wally World to splurge, buy some fattening stuff I shouldn't, dropped phone on the ground.  Uh huh, ruined.  To Cricket, phone kaput.  Uh huh, $100 for a cheapy replacement.

I have found... situations happen..  Relationships end..  Trivial stuff that seems large happens.. Just when the inclination to shout "Why me Lord?" I look around.. see REALLY crappy stuff happening to others - and I'm ridden with guilt.

Now, when "uh oh" happens, I'm ok.  I laugh.  It's really all one can do.  Were it not for misfortune, I'm not certain one would appreciate fortune.

With age, loss seemingly happens with more frequency.  Loss is sad.  Yellow light having to pee.. no quarter for a grocery cart..  snow.. bronchitis.. radiators.. engine fires. engine computers.. trannys.. cracked phones.. a relationship ending - ain't loss (in the true sense of the word).

Victor, (trivial) gump happens.  Sure, take a quick sigh, but then laugh at it.  Love others/all.  'Cause one day others might not be here.  Never fear using that word 'love', for one day you might not be able to.  Have fun along the way, and remember how blessed each and every one of us is.

Got the runs.  Er, I mean, gotta run.  Swinging by WallyWorld to poop.  Then off to buy a 'new' car.  JK.

Gloom, despair, agony happens.  Don't forget to Hee Haw about it.  Laugh and love along the way, If you're here, I love you.  If you're not, please know I love you and miss you.

Love, Victurd

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Dlog.....

If only.....

Take a bow... wow...

We "get it."  You humans.  Sometimes you forget how fleeting life is.  Nuh uh, not us.  Hell to the yeah, when every year is actually seven, we're gonna go, do, WITH excitement.

That relationship that's going stale?  Well... if you TOO would run to the door when your mate comes home, each and every time, wag your tail with the excitement like they just came home from Iraq, or Afghanistan, or any kinda vacation, then mebbe your coupledom would again be spiffy.  Be like me, a 'woof woof', an anxious, loving look out the window - then, when the door opens, I'm allover ya. . Jumping up, trying to lick your face, tail wagging faster'n lightning.

We are ALWAYS up for go, do.  The jingle of those car keys?  I'm ready.  Lemme ride shotgun. June bugs, cicadas be damned, my head is out the window.  Faster, Faster!  That rush one gets when the hair is blown back! Yum!

Game'a catch?  Throw that sucker, I'll make Adalberto Mondesi look like a Little Leaguer.. Sure, I may need to lap up a quick drinka water now and then, but bet your bottom dollar you will tire out before I do.

I mean, come on, there's so much to be happy about.  I ain't never gotta put on clothes.  Gotta pee?  Poop?  No problem.  Hey, don't get mad - wait a week or so and see how dadgum green the grass is where I pooped.

If you do tire out first, all good.  I'll just practice fetching sticks, or maybe give a squirrel a heart attack scurrying him up a tree. I could stop and communicate with all my friends in the neighborhood.  Ain't gotta text, email.. we simply bark hello.  Gotta check occsionally and make sure it's all good in the doggyhood.

That backscratcher you bought at Dollar General?  Ha!  All I needta do is rollover on my back, twist, turn - presto, the acorns and baby sticks help.. and carpet, yum, carpet works too (dang I miss shag carpet though)...

Offended that I maybe didn't like what you offered up for dinner?  Not too worry, I just might wait a bit, but it's a promise when I'm hungry, I'll eat it (and be thankful.)

I'm happy.  Why not? I live a dog's life.  Yum.  Door open, I'll run like someone left the gate open.  And what's with this negative connotation to 'dog ears'.  (His homework was 'dog-eared').. I LOVE my ears.  See? I put 'em up at attention when you talk to me.  Just behind the feel of that backscratchin' on my own is when you rub my ears.   Mesmerize me, I'll tap my tail to your beat.  And I would NEVER eat your homework!

I love getting dirty.  I ain't no prissy-sissy.  Mud, ponds, rivers, lakes, creeks - I'm in, and all-in. You won't need no Tide Pods, just hose me off.

Your side of the bed?  The other's side of the bed?  BORING!  Let's snuggle all night.  I'll lay next to ya, on toppa ya, simply to show my love - and maybe too so I'll be sure to wake up when you wake up.

I like easy chairs, sofas, loveseats, even the floor.  Ya ain't gotta run off to Nebraska Furniture Mart every time you paint the living room, get bored with 'same ole' - I'm happy with whatever we have in the room.  I even like jumping up on the coffee table.

Red, blue, Trump, Trump-hater, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Atheist, big, small, fat, skinny, pretty, pretty ugly, white, yellow, red, black?  Take me to the doggy park - I'll teach you a lesson on how to get along with those that are differn't.  We are family, I got all my Sitters (and Beagles, Labs, Canardlys) with me. Get up every doggy and sing.

Ya know how you bought that gym membership, but you drive right past it on the way to Piggly Wiggly all the time?  Don't waste your money any longer.  Buy a leash, let's go.  I'll pull, lead, smell stuff on this side, that side (just to make sure the path is safe for you) and I'll happily go, any, every time.

Don't mind me staring at you.  It's what I, we, dogs do.  I adore you, even if you ain't perfect.  I look past that.  I know too there will be times I don't getta go with you.. and you may be gone for a bit.  It's ok.  I'll listen for you.  I'll watch for you.  And, back to Iraq, Afghanistan, vacation, I'll love you each and every time you come home and never get mad at you.

And when I, old Yeller, get all old and gray - don't worry.  I won't gripe about the weather, the Government, "Pups nowadays."  My love for you is constant.  Eternal.  I may trudge about a bit slower, but the tail will always wag at 78 speed.  I am loyal, hear me snore.

All I ask in return is that you crank up a little Bach or Beethoven come 4th of July time.  Oh, and the pound.  That's the only place I ain't gonna tag along with you.  The Vet? Ah, Ok, but not to the pound.

I love being a dog.  Mostly, and more importantly, I love you, whoever you are.

Love, Dogturd

Sunday, June 23, 2019

On the 12th Day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... (I was bored, sorry)

You forgot didn't you....

Twelve drummers drumming....

Dozen.  The dime was introduced in 1795.  Tweren't too long after, vendors started advertising all kinda food goodies (apples, peaches, eggs, oranges) as "Dime a dozen."  Sure, dime went a lot further back then, but, still meant abundent in quantity and/or very cheap, something that's easily acquired.

I was gonna share the 'why' as to eggs are sold as a dozen, but it really ain't very interesting.  Oh, ok damnit:  "Under a system that came to be known as English units, which was a combination of old Anglo-Saxon and Roman systems of measurement, eggs were sold by the dozen. It made sense to sell them that way because one egg could be sold for a penny or 12 for a shilling, which was equal to 12 pennies. "  Seez? Toldya.  You just wasted 12 seconds of your life reading that.  Sorry (but it was your call.)

I read the news today oh boy - and I came to my Horoscope, Libra.  First thought was "Is/are 1/12th of the folks on the planet suspected/supposed to have a day just like me?" Why 12?  Something about the position of the planets and the sun and the moon on the Ecliptic at the moment of birth,  Earth, Wind and Fire mighta been in the definition too, but then again, I think mebbe that's a musicial group and it was actually Air, Fire, Water and Earth and me and you and a dog named Boo..  The difference in Astronomy and Astrology?  Who cares.  Kinda like soccer.  Least to me anyways.

"In all my work, I try to say - 'You may be given a load of sour lemons, why not try to make a dozen lemon meringue pies"  That "Maya" lady.....

Clock on the wall has 12 hours.  We gots 12 months a year.  Twelve inches in a foot.  (Band camp, long ago, friend of mine worked in the ER at a local hospital.  "COME HERE COME HERE" she said loudly in the breakroom.  "YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!!  Ok, the patient had a ruler tattooed on his uh huh.  And no, I didn't ask if an inch really equaled an inch.  Just thought bizarre.  12 dozen is gross BTW.

In that one song, George Thorogood orders a total of 12 bourbons, scotches and beers.

Jacob has 12 sons, Jesus 12 disciples,  Twelve tribes were started after Moses led his people out of Egypt.  Twelve is also XII.  The largest number with one syllable?  Yep, twelve. Under British law, one can buy at pet at 12.  (I wish they'd do the same and make kids wait for cell phones here until 12.)

"If there are nine guys auditioning and they're all gorgeous, I have an advantage, because gorgeous guys are a dime a dozen. But if they need someone else - like a goofy guy with bad hair who is just okay - then that's me. And finally, the other 2 percent who audition are geniuses that I could never touch. "  Tom Hanks

Twelve men have walked on the moon.  The Beatles had 12 studio albums.  Our bodies have 12 cranial nerves, 12 ribs, and 12 systems. Twelve knights were seated at King Arthur's roundtable.  On the color wheel, there are 12 basic hues.  

"Man who bring home a dozen roses has ulterior motive."  Victurd

Carpenter's ruler has 12 subdivisions, pharmacists and jewelers use the 12 ounce-pound, miners divide shillings into 12 pence, and bakers who dropped outta school in 4th grade give out one too many a donut.

"People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me.  Depending on the weight and the model I was using at the time, I would say 8 to 10 cookouts." Bob Uecker.

Sold as 12: Beer.  Pop.  Condoms.  I just report it, i don't write it.  Oysters.  Golf balls (6 for Saturday, 6 for Sunday).  12 face cards in a deck.  In bowling, a perfect game is, uh huh, 12 strikes.

Almost twelve o'clock, I'm outta here.

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways..... uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, otcho, nueve, diez, once, doce.

By Henry Gibson the XII-th....

Love, Victurd


Monday, June 17, 2019

The eyes have it......

I thought maybe I was a goner.  Band camp, awhile back, I was at an establishment with fellow Bubbas (again, that's our group of po' po' pitiful me men who've run off every mate we've ever smooched due to our own oopsies, so, we gather with good frequency to berate them.  HA).

Anyways, I hadta pee.  So, without looking, I jumped up (well, as close to 'jump' as a 66 yr old can) and I was immediately (accidentally) clobbered by a biker dude headed the opposite direction.  He was roughly 6'4", two-fitty, and I am thinking "uh oh, he's gonna eat me faster'n a chocolate donut hole")... Just then it was "SIR, SIR.. I'm sorry!"  Only it wasn't me that said it, it was him.

I smiled, muttered, "I'm sorry too," went on my way and cussed myself for being judgmental all the way to the John.

On this day, a biker dude was kinda close behind me... road was a four lane 30mph road, alluvasudden he pulls around me to pass - only he backs off the gas to equal the speed limit I was going.  Then, he gestures the ole "roll down the window" gesture.  Gulp.  Victor, you judgmental basta', remember bumping into that guy on your way to the John?  Uh huh.  Then it'll all be ok.  OK.  As I complied and got my window down, I heard, "Hi sir.. just wanted to let you know your blinker is on." I giggled, felt 66 years old, wrote it off to wrinkles, said "thanks" with a smile and continued my 5mph under the speed limit we old farts drive with.

Twelve years ago, I sat in the office of an optician.  I've been to church before.  I've even been to Hawaii, and yes, Wrigley Field too - but I ain't never been in an optician's office.  After nearly 30 minutes of silence, eye doc looks at me and says "Victor, how old are you?"  54.  "Well, you've got cataracts in both eyes."

So, a few weeks later, I'm back in his office (I've been to church more than once, to Hawaii twice, but Wrigley Field only once) and he takes some kinda tool, whacks out my left eye lens (I'm left looking at egg whites, that's all I saw.. and that's prolly what my eyeball looked like.).. Then, he puts in a new, fake lens, and wow, clear.  Very clear.  Ain't been thataway in awhile.  Same procedure on the right eye.  Wow, even clearer.  THANKS Doc!

So... I walked in the grocery store, saw real life colors like I ain't seen in years... not to mention greater clarity, definition of the derrieres of female shoppers (sorry, kinda, not).. And I spent the next few days rejoicing, throwing away the 8 pairs of $1.49 'readers' I've compiled over the years..  You see, I now see, and life is very good.

I no longer read the paper using my extended Olive Oil arms.  I can now look in the mirror and say things like "Damn, you've aged" and "Victor, that ear hair is prolly three-quarters of an inch long, geez."  All good.

I got onea them 'close up' lenses.. and one for seeing far away.  Not many years after, this coincided with retirement from softball, cause, haveya ever tried to catch a pop-up with one eye that now sees close-up, and one that sees from a distance?  It ain't an easy thing.  (Neither is navigating tweezers to pull an ear hair when one eye is closeup, one is for distance - kinda like life, the struggle is real.)

Victor, you're rambling..is there a point to all this?  Well mebbe.  Yes?  And that point is?

It's kinda that I find myself liking to use the close-up eye the most.  You know, like 'waking up and smelling the roses' that are in the garden now, not the ones you wanna plant and see years from now.  It's today, not five years from now, not when I'm maybe 80..it's today.  Tomorrow ain't promised, so use that 'see far away' eyeball for when you're at a stop sign, ya gotta squint (close the close up eye) to see things at a distance.

I've never been any good with compound interest anyways - but my focus now is on today, Monday..  not Friday, or July, or 2020....  Live the day.  Today.  See it close up.  Appreciate.

I''ve wandered from the Bubba table a time or two to visit, get to know somea them biker dudes.  Nice, nice folks.  Damn me.  I even appreciate their 'burn-outs' now, and I can even read all the patches on their jackets.

I'm enjoying grandkids that are 2, 6 and 8.  Sure, I think of them one day in high school, college, married, as a parent - but today is yummy.  Close up.  Worry later about "I do" and treasure today and hearing "papa" as one of the first ever said words.  Save that far away eye for when you're at the stoplight and ya gotta see traffic in the distance.

I've lived a life where I ain't had very good long range planning.  That's ok, I can live with that.  At 9:28am Central, my long range planning is lunch today.

I may go to church Sunday.  Might even plan for Hawaii, or a train ride to Wrigley - but now, right now, I'm gonna jump in my car and head for the hot tub at the Community Center.

In my late 40's, I found myself alone, soon to be divorced.  I joined the Community Center, figured I'd lift some weights, ride the elliptical for a bit, sit in the sauna, then head to the Jacuzzi where I'd be met by a score of beautiful, fit, perfect, scantilly clad gorgeous women.  I did all that (lifted weights, the elliptical, the sauna, and headed for the Jacuzzi).. Minutes after i got there, the 70-something age women's arthritis class was making their way out of the pool, and to, uh huh, the Jacuzzi.  Ha.

Today, hey, mebbe somea them women won't look too bad to me!  I'm going, today, now, 9:37am Monday, 6/17/19.

Victor, your blinker is on.  I know, my checkenginelight too.

Band camp, I'd bought an ole Mercury clunker from the daughter of the owner who'd passed.  Nice car.  The code to punch in on the door to get in was his birth date, 07-06-1920.  I didn't change it.  Also, his checkenginelight was on - BUT, he'd covered it up with electrical tape so it wouldn't bug him.  I like your style Mister.  Me too.  I'll worry about that.... tomorrow.  I'm gonna live today.

Happy today,
Love, Victurd

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Who the heck is Ramjit Raghav?

Patience my friend!

As always, vast majority of the below is plagiarized.

When Sonora Louise Smart Dodd was 16, her father became a widower and was left to raise Dodd and her five younger brothers alone.  In 1909 she was listening to a Mother's Day Sermon and she realized the need for a day to celebrate fathers.

She drew up a petition for the first Father's Day to be celebrated in early June on her father's birthday.  It was signed by only two, and presented to local clergy in the Spokane, Washington area.  They liked the idea, but convinced her they needed more time, thus, it's celebrated later in June to give them more time to prepare.  Happened, finally, on June 19th, 1910 at the YMCA in Spokane.

Dodd spent the better part of the next 62 years traveling the US, campaigning for it to become a national holiday.  Finally, it was formally proposed in 1970, but it took Tricky Dick's signature (wouldn't you know it) in 1972 to become a formality nationwide.

"My dad is my hero."  Harry Connick, Jr.

Ramjit Raghav?  Glad you asked.  He's the oldest known man to sire a child.  He was 96 years young when his SECOND child was born.  He first became a father much earlier when his first child was born when he was 94.  Bless him and the cradle he robbed.

The, as always, long and winding road tells us Don Messick was the voice of Papa Smurf (as well as Scooby Doo, Ranger Smith on Yogi Bear, as well as Astro and Rudi on the Jetsons.

The ONLY #1 single recorded by father-daughter was Frank and Nancy Sinatra's "Something Stupid" in 1967.

"My dad's not here, but he's watching in heaven,"  Bubba Watson

If she can do it, so can I.  The male seahorse carries the eggs and gives birth to the babies.

In 1950, after a Washington Post music critic gave Harry Truman's daughter Margaret's concert a negative review, he came out swinging.  "Some day I hope to meet you and when that happens you'll need a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes and perhaps a supporter below."  Mebbe this is where "Give 'em hell Harry" originated?

A.A. Milne created Winnie the Poof for his son, Christopher Robin.  Pooh was based on Robin's teddy bear Edward, a gift Christopher had received on his first birthday.  Father/son visits to the London zoo led to Christopher's favorite bear Winnie. Pooh comes from the name of Christopher's pet swan.

Stevie Wonder's song "Isn't she lovely" is about his newborn daughter Aisha, and if you listen carefully, you can hear her crying in the background.

Dick Hoyt has pushed and pulled his son Rick, who has cerebral palsy, through hundreds of marathons and triathlons. Rick cannot speak, but using a custom-designed computer he has been able to communicate. They ran their first five-mile race together when Rick was in high school. When they were done, Rick sent his father this message: "Dad, when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!" 

Next time you take a swig at a drinking fountain, please know the drinking fountain was invented by Halsey Taylor in 1912 as a tribute to her father who succumbed to typhoid fever after drinking contaminated public water in 1896.

"I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished 5th grade a year before I did."  Jeff Foxworrthy.

Dad is believed to have originated because it's most often the babies first syllable(s) "Da-da"... Mom is believed to have originated from the sound of baby suckling on mom's breasts.  I don't write tit (er, it) I just repor tit, er, it.

(Moms, don't get mad!)  "My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mom would come out and say "You're tearing up the grass!"  Dad would reply "We're not raising grass, we're raising boys."  Harmon Killebrew.

By virtue of this being my own blog, you're stuck with a note about my father.  He was fair, fun, smart, handsome and enjoyed the heck outta life.  A very good father, husband, person.  My sister and I were raised by our folks take "If we can afford it, if you won't get hurt, or hurt others, then sure, it's ok for you to do."

Happy Father's Day.....

Love, Victurd
(I also owe thanks, i think, to my father for mostly silently mostly under the breath creating the name Victurd.)

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Thank you for being a........

Teacher........

Traveled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow.

Impact.  To me, that's the first word I think of when I think of 'teacher.'

When we, as parents, long to hire a baby sitter for escape.. or.. have both eyes focused on The Voice, GOT, the playoffs... CNN... Fox, whatever... and that youthful interruption comes - I certainly admit there were times I didn't handle it well.  Tried, but admittedly, occasionally slipped.

Why did you say all that Victor?  Because it makes appreciation for someone choosing to be a teacher all-the-more sweet. You mean, they CHOSE to work with, be with, kids?  Nice.

I believe suffice to say we've all been impacted by teachers.  The yummy ones that were "demanding but supportive... caring.. interested in us.... excited about what he/she taught.. had a good sense of humor..."

As with any field.. then there were the ones that could be demeaning, boring, dull, intimidating, not interested in us... seems to me, these types didn't stick around too long.

The really good ones that can detect little things like shyness.. and how they'd never embarrass in front of the entire class, but would pull aside at another moment and challenge/converse in a more comfortable setting.

Reinforcement of self-esteem - which, in turn leads to increased motivation and learning.   Once heard an elementary school principal tell the teachers "catch 'em being good" and OH does that go a long way.  I enjoyed when a teacher would read your essay and then take the time to add a comment like "I really enjoyed this..I'd love to see you take it even further and maybe add (enter suggestion here):"..  Versus, maybe denoting "B-" at the top of the page - and that's it.  (It's probably known I can occasionally be a wise-acre, particularly in writing, and I once had a boss tell me in a salary review "You need to work on your emails."  HA!  And that was IT, the end.  )

We all have our favorites.. unique styles they had..   I'll never forget the teacher who would be reading to us, it became clear our minds were elsewhere, and she would continue to read but raise her voice to ULTRA LOUD in (successful) effort to get us back on track....

Smiles.  So important not only in life but in education.  Another favorite teacher would take a reasonably long path to make a point, teach the lesson - and finish with (a smile and asking) "Dig?"  That was 45-50 years ago that was said, and to this day I remember how it was fun, provoked "yes.. no".. asking for more explanation.. yada.

Goofily, as a kid I remember when I'd see a teacher in the grocery store and I''d think to myself "WHAT?  You mean they're a PERSON too?  They have lives outside of the schoolhouse?"  Special, special they are/were.

Of course the long arm of the law.  Pushups, setups, and uh huh, back then, paddles.  Detention,  "We don't do that at Fulton High School."  <-- that was the edict my cousin the teacher/administrator laid down - and it must have worked as they named the gym after him.  His brother continued in his ways, and that too musta worked as they named the baseball field in his honor.  Back then,  we didn't live in fear, but we cared about what our teachers related about us (and our performance) back to our folks.

I was lucky to have taught for a total of six years.  Stupid I was to get out.  With a growing family, costs therein associated (and an admitted dummy who got behind in his continuing education) I ran... I went to load airplanes for $10,000 more a year.  I repeat, I left to go load airplanes for $10,000 more a year.  I'm reminded of the pictures teachers would hand us, and we're left to deduct "what's wrong with this picture."

Teacher = special.  Many of us are fortunate to stay in contact with teachers we had.  Respect, thanks, and still maybe a little "better be on my best behavior around him/her."

We lost a really really good one yesterday.  MMO.  I was fortunate to work with MMO for five years.  She took on educating children with behavior difficulties.  Her choice.  Those were the types that made me wanna run.  Not her.  EASY to tell she was caring.  Easy to tell she didn't let up.  Easy to see her catching them doing good.  Consistent. Dedicated.  Smiling.  Special.

I hope you too have memories of your favs..   Teachers = special.  Folks who WANNA be with kids.

Thank your for being a teacher.
Traveled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow.

(The 'pal' part, at first, didn't seem to fit.. but with age, comes becoming a pal with former teachers.  I think that's ok.  You?  Dig?)

Love, Victurd

Monday, June 03, 2019

I shoulda just asked Holzhauer,,,, or Google,,

I'm kinda reminded of John Wayne... as always, my blog is seemingly nonsensical, but there really is a madness to my method.

Forgive me, for I said "Bullshit."

OK, after that line, I've probably run off a few, but that's ok, I happen to think bullshit is/can be, a fun word.

Band camp, I went with two sisters (I was dating one of them) to a Balloon Festival in Northern Missouri.  Said sister's father is a wonderful man, he truly is. the kind that literally ain't gonna hurt a flea.

He does, though, tend to admonish.  I was welcomed with open arms by the other sister's boyfriend, because for several years HE had been on the receiving end of "Pops"s storytelling.  Now, it was me.

As happens with age, we oft times repeat stories thinking each and every time it';s the first time we'd told the story.

As happens with age, we oft times repeat stories thinking each and every time it';s the first time we'd told the story.

Pops was that way as well.. and with pretty decent frequency.  There was a story, mostly true I'm certain, where Pops (and wife) were in a boat that suffered some pretty severe mechanical issues.  It was headed out-of-control and believe the original, true, story was it was a non-event, and the boat was  under control in no time.

Seeing that I'd never heard this story, Pops had told it to me a few times prior to the trip to see the Balloons.  The first time I heard it, it was "And I could see the Captain had passed out, so I ran to the front of the boat, pushed him aside and took control."  BULLSHIT, the sisters chimed in.  Have you ever been in a situation where you really really wanted to laugh but circumstances said "Nuh uh, ya can't."?  I was.

The second time I heard this story, Pops had taken over the wheel to guide the boat, "I got it to go to shore and I swear to goodness, and I ended up maneuvering it into a nearby swimming pool."  BULLSHIT, the sisters offered.  OK, I couldn't help it any longer, I laughed.  Not at him, with him.

The third time I heard this story, yes, the Balloon trip, it was "and there we were, the boat was out of control headed for shore.. just about that time, two natives ran out of the jungle, they both knew what to do, how to guide/stop the boat" and BULLSHIT!  I wanted to rollover, but I was driving, so couldn't.

Victor, whothehell is Holzhauer?   Ah, just hold your horses life-preserver-breath, we'll get there.

Enough about Pops.  Enough, except just know he's a cool dude, has a truly affectionate smile, never met a stranger, and yeah, the flea part.

Recently, my car shot craps.  Junked it, bought another.  Four days after purchase, the engine computer went out.  I didn't know what was wrong at the time...............so,

I went online.  I found a site, for a one-time fee of $5, I could directly ask a question to a bonafide Chrysler mechanic.  (Word red-underlined 'bonafide', again, but I went to Google, asked, and that's how they say it's spelled, so I call BULLSHIT red-line.)

So, I asked my $5 question, I admittedly got really good, IMMEDIATE advice on what the problem might be, so immediate, in fact, I thought it had to be a bot.  But, I took the advice, ran, and the mechanic I took it to confirmed the result of my $5 question, and after paying them to fix it, life was again good.

The other day, I was at Happy Hour with lifelong friends.. and onea my buddies said "First thing I do every morning is look at my bank account." Victor, the hell does this have to do with your story, and whointhehell is Holzhauer?

Glad you asked.  After hearing my buddy say that about his account, I started doing the same.  Last week there were four $9.99 movie rentals on my account.  Fixed that problem.  This morning, there was a $34 payment to a company called 'Just Answer dot com."  I did that on porpoise so them dudes wouldn't track me down!

Apparently, prior to me asking my $5 question, there was a 'terms and conditions' part that was longer, bigger'n the Sunday Kansas City Star.  Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm an idiot, I don't/won't read those things, so I scrolled down, clicked "yes" I agree... "it's $5, all that for $5, but I agree."

The $34 payment on my bank account, had an 800 #, yes, it was the Just Answer dot com folks, i called... and I hadn't taken my high BP meds yet, ha.  I've pulled the "Let's pretend I'm irate, I'm not, but let's pretend" statement outta my pockets a few times in life - but this morning, I prefaced with "I'm not gonna cuss" to let them know I was angered by their $34 fee.

Turns out, they sent me an email asking me how I thought the $5 question/answer went, was I satisfied, all that... I don't read those things, don't answer, and thought to myself "yeah, yeah, yeah."

I guess, with me ignoring the way-too-long terms and conditions and the email, I'd unwittingly signed up for the monthly membership of $34 to be able to ask any question on any subject to Just Answer Dot Com.  In their defense, I read reviews, good reviews, folks who'd had car questions, legal/lawyer questions, yada.

Along side all those rave reviews were MANY from folks like me who thought they'd received their $5 answer, all was well and good, then, they too got the membership fee taken from their bank account.

Where was I?  I think you were gonna tell us who Holzhauer is Victor.  Oh yeah, he's the guy on the Jeopardy streak that's won over a million and is set to break the alltime record tonight.  That, him, he's who I shoulda asked.

So, again, I'd told the friendly customer service rep "I ain't gonna cuss" so he'd know the severity of my mood.  He was pretty good in that he acted like he'd never heard a complaint like mine, ever.  I bet he goes home at night and says "Oh honey, it's been a rough day, I had 276 pissed off customers in a row today."

He told me "well, we sent you and email, you didn't cancel, so your membership started."  I tend to believe all people are good.  It's bit me in the butt on more than one occasion.  He agreed to cancel my membership, but would not refund my $34.

Just then.......

Two natives ran out of the jungle, tapped me on the shoulder, said "Sick him Victor!!" and I slipped.  Forgive me, I cussed.  "THIS is BULLSHIT!  I agree your company has/gives good advice, but the membership thing, from my stinky feet, is deceptive, bad business, unscrupulous, etc."

Thanks to Pops, two natives, and BULLSHIT, he begrudgingly agreed to refund my $34.

So... I shoulda asked Holzhauer... or Google.. or Sherwin Williams.. somebody.. just not Just Answer Dot Com.

Victor, you mentioned John Wayne, whatsup with that?  Oh come on, I call bullshit.  You gotta remember his line in the movie.. "I'm not gonna hit ya.. the hell I'm not."

By Henry BS Gibson,

Love, Victurd