Dlog.....

If only.....

Take a bow... wow...

We "get it."  You humans.  Sometimes you forget how fleeting life is.  Nuh uh, not us.  Hell to the yeah, when every year is actually seven, we're gonna go, do, WITH excitement.

That relationship that's going stale?  Well... if you TOO would run to the door when your mate comes home, each and every time, wag your tail with the excitement like they just came home from Iraq, or Afghanistan, or any kinda vacation, then mebbe your coupledom would again be spiffy.  Be like me, a 'woof woof', an anxious, loving look out the window - then, when the door opens, I'm allover ya. . Jumping up, trying to lick your face, tail wagging faster'n lightning.

We are ALWAYS up for go, do.  The jingle of those car keys?  I'm ready.  Lemme ride shotgun. June bugs, cicadas be damned, my head is out the window.  Faster, Faster!  That rush one gets when the hair is blown back! Yum!

Game'a catch?  Throw that sucker, I'll make Adalberto Mondesi look like a Little Leaguer.. Sure, I may need to lap up a quick drinka water now and then, but bet your bottom dollar you will tire out before I do.

I mean, come on, there's so much to be happy about.  I ain't never gotta put on clothes.  Gotta pee?  Poop?  No problem.  Hey, don't get mad - wait a week or so and see how dadgum green the grass is where I pooped.

If you do tire out first, all good.  I'll just practice fetching sticks, or maybe give a squirrel a heart attack scurrying him up a tree. I could stop and communicate with all my friends in the neighborhood.  Ain't gotta text, email.. we simply bark hello.  Gotta check occsionally and make sure it's all good in the doggyhood.

That backscratcher you bought at Dollar General?  Ha!  All I needta do is rollover on my back, twist, turn - presto, the acorns and baby sticks help.. and carpet, yum, carpet works too (dang I miss shag carpet though)...

Offended that I maybe didn't like what you offered up for dinner?  Not too worry, I just might wait a bit, but it's a promise when I'm hungry, I'll eat it (and be thankful.)

I'm happy.  Why not? I live a dog's life.  Yum.  Door open, I'll run like someone left the gate open.  And what's with this negative connotation to 'dog ears'.  (His homework was 'dog-eared').. I LOVE my ears.  See? I put 'em up at attention when you talk to me.  Just behind the feel of that backscratchin' on my own is when you rub my ears.   Mesmerize me, I'll tap my tail to your beat.  And I would NEVER eat your homework!

I love getting dirty.  I ain't no prissy-sissy.  Mud, ponds, rivers, lakes, creeks - I'm in, and all-in. You won't need no Tide Pods, just hose me off.

Your side of the bed?  The other's side of the bed?  BORING!  Let's snuggle all night.  I'll lay next to ya, on toppa ya, simply to show my love - and maybe too so I'll be sure to wake up when you wake up.

I like easy chairs, sofas, loveseats, even the floor.  Ya ain't gotta run off to Nebraska Furniture Mart every time you paint the living room, get bored with 'same ole' - I'm happy with whatever we have in the room.  I even like jumping up on the coffee table.

Red, blue, Trump, Trump-hater, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Atheist, big, small, fat, skinny, pretty, pretty ugly, white, yellow, red, black?  Take me to the doggy park - I'll teach you a lesson on how to get along with those that are differn't.  We are family, I got all my Sitters (and Beagles, Labs, Canardlys) with me. Get up every doggy and sing.

Ya know how you bought that gym membership, but you drive right past it on the way to Piggly Wiggly all the time?  Don't waste your money any longer.  Buy a leash, let's go.  I'll pull, lead, smell stuff on this side, that side (just to make sure the path is safe for you) and I'll happily go, any, every time.

Don't mind me staring at you.  It's what I, we, dogs do.  I adore you, even if you ain't perfect.  I look past that.  I know too there will be times I don't getta go with you.. and you may be gone for a bit.  It's ok.  I'll listen for you.  I'll watch for you.  And, back to Iraq, Afghanistan, vacation, I'll love you each and every time you come home and never get mad at you.

And when I, old Yeller, get all old and gray - don't worry.  I won't gripe about the weather, the Government, "Pups nowadays."  My love for you is constant.  Eternal.  I may trudge about a bit slower, but the tail will always wag at 78 speed.  I am loyal, hear me snore.

All I ask in return is that you crank up a little Bach or Beethoven come 4th of July time.  Oh, and the pound.  That's the only place I ain't gonna tag along with you.  The Vet? Ah, Ok, but not to the pound.

I love being a dog.  Mostly, and more importantly, I love you, whoever you are.

Love, Dogturd