Tuesday, January 30, 2018

What do you want to be when you grow old?

Uh huh, it was that, not the other one.

We begin with kids, asking them what they'd like to be when they grow up....

Of course, Doctor, teacher, Major League Baseball player, or, like a friend's grandchild said
"I want to be a liar like grandma"... a tad mispronounced as granny is a lawyer....

Or... stolen from some site:

"Like mommy" (and drew a stick picture of her pole dancing)
"Get a girlfriend, kiss her, rule the world." (This sounds recently familiar)
"When I grow up I want to be a dog."
"When I grow up I want to be a mailbox." Hmmm, Ok.

Point is, we plan.

Septua... Octo... Nona... Cente..

As in Septuagenarian (person in their 70's), Octogenarian (80's), Nonagenarian (90's)... Centenarian (100's)..

We don't plan for that. Wonder why? Oh yeah, the smart ones start tucking bucks away young - but as far as this aging transition - I really don't think we do plan so much...

From the years of Christmas Caroling at area Nursing Homes, someone in my HS class said "I see it (Caroling) as an opportunity to shop for my next home." The older we get, the less funny that somehow becomes..

I like to think "maintaining a sense of humor" would be a big thing to plan, keep (or start if we ain't got one.)

One nurse, working in a nursing home, tells of the lady eyeballing her, not remembering her name, or any family names for that matter.. or the fact she'd assisted her in using the restroom earlier.. or that she'd delivered (and picked up) her lunch tray earlier.. but when she approached her, she gazed in her eyes... "Oh I know you, you're my friend." The nurse laughed because she honestly thought she didn't remember anything, "Yes, I am your friend.".. She squeezed the nurse's hand and deadpanned "Now help me get the hell out of here." I can very much see myself relating the same....

My father (Victor, you've told this one).. ahem, my father was having trouble getting in and out of his comfy chair - so we purchased one of those electronic lift chairs... demonstrator spent an hour with dad showing him how to operate.. and as he ended his demonstration he added "and it comes with a massager.".. With zero hesitation my dad asked the guy "Does she spend the night?" I would like to be like that when I grow old(er) but I ain't as quick as my pa.

Bluntness... I'm finding, even at 60-something, this becoming a trait...

Most of us have seen the video of the 103 year old lady answering a call from her 97 year old sister..grumping kinda as she talks.. and after she hangs up she states "I don't know whyinthehell she calls me EVERY DAY to tell me what time she got up, whatinthehell she had for breakfast, what she's wearing.. I don't give a damn about any of that."

We were Christmas Caroling one year (Victor, you've told this one too).. and.. we had a fantastic group of women, but we men literally stunk, and we knew it. As we departed, from a wheelchair we heard "Thank you so much! We enjoyed it, but I'm here to say, I usedta teach the choir in my church and you men could use some help!" Ha, again, we knew that, but ya gotta love blunt.

From the internet:

Learning the not so fun part of life: loss.

Older adults have been thru losing their parents, most have lost a spouse, some even weathered the devastating loss of a child. In their eyes they've seen many hardships, but they learn how to adapt to the sorrow that inevitably comes with life.

Loss of function...

Could be hearing.. could be the inability to walk.. the inability to use the restroom by themselves.. It sounds scary growing older and I'm certain it is, should I/we be lucky enough to get there. In the back of older's minds, they must keep that lucky part - as they accept hardships and its many minor injustices and keep a positive attitude.

Help...

Big pill to swallow - and that's not a pun. We are as a people, prideful. Some older struggle asking for help (I could see me in that group).. but older people must ask for help to keep up.. it's said we must learn to take the quiet, calm, accepting route so many great examples the elderly portray for us.

Starting the day...

"William gets up every morning, goes to the mirror and laughs out loud. He demonstrated this for us, and the room lit up with laughter. He says starting your day with joy - not taking yourself too seriously - is the key to stay young at heart."

Create and nurture meaningful friendships...

"Love and connection are crucial to our vitality. We need to consciously surround ourselves with not only our family, but also with a soul family. Friendships are paramount to a well-lived life." I likes that, I likes that a lot.

Paraphrazing one article: Life experiences.. -> can learn from older.. Dealing with people.. imagine the different kinds of people they've dealt with along the way.. Avoiding regrets in life - we all have them, but older people teach us to live without them.

Neither of my folks were in a nursing home. From the caroling, and from what visits I've had with friends and their parents, I'm very glad to report happy does happen, and it's the usual way. Hope you've observed same.

Recently on Facebook there was a posting about a 97 year old World War II veteran walking in a bar.. had his medals with him.. barkeep comes up, talks to the man, somewhere within the conversation the guy states "Well, nobody really cares what I have to say now.".. Barkeep told him he was going to put that on FB, and and asked for him to come in the next week to see the results, see if that was really true. As I read the post, it had over 5 million views and nearly as many comments. I would liked to have been there on the fella's next visit.

I reckon it's "Enjoy what ya got, while ya got it." We can, should learn from old folks. Good Lord willing, hopefully we'll be one some day.

Love, Victurd

Sunday, January 28, 2018

You don't tug on Superman's cape....

You don't spit into the wind...
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim.....

I takey break. I tired. I got no ideas in head. I'm boring anyways, so.......

I'll steal.

Weird laws:

Chico, CA... you cannot build, maintain or use a nuclear weapon. I hope Rocketman doesn't know that.

In Connecticut, it is illegal to sell a pickle that does not bounce when dropped from the height of one foot. Makes me think of messy Piggly Wiggly aisles.

In Gainesville, GA., "finger-lickin" is THE WAY. It is illegal to eat fried chicken with anything (aka utensils) other than your fingers.

You can't ride a bicycle with your arms in the air, foot off the pedals, or any other "acrobatic shenanigans on your fancy velocipede" per law in Galesburg, IL.

In the state of Iowa, any person who attempts to pass off margarine, oleo, or oleomargarine as real butter is subject to punishment of up to 30 days in jail and a $625 fine. (What are you in for? Butter not tell.)

To our neighbors in Topeka, Kansas, it is illegal to throw a snowball at any person or property. In 2005, then mayor Bill Bunten tossed a whopper at a snowy tree exclaiming "I'm going to have an ordinance drawn up to repeal this dumb law lest our already-crowded prisons are filled up with children who, while making a snowman, got carried away and had a snowball fight."

Most of the above plagiarized from Reader's Digest, sorry.

In Oregon it illegal to talk dirty while having sex. Makes one wonder how that's monitored.

In Florida, it's illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on Thursday. (Wonder if it's ok in bed, in Oregon?)

In Oklahoma it is against the law to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7pm. (That is legal in Oregon when you're having sex but you'd better not say 'jackass'.)

Match.com, PlentyOfFish dating sites not working? Always remember, in Baltimore it is illegal to take a lion with you to the cinema.

Sorry to announce there are no laws prohibiting cannibalism in 49 states, but not the case in Idaho where it is illegal and punishable by up to 14 years in prison. There is, however, an out as it's allowed in "extreme conditions" (like maybe running out of potatoes?)

With apologies to our friends in Arkansas, in Utah you can marry your cousin, but only if you are both over the age of 65.

Traveling abroad? BEWARE:

In the UK, it's illegal to hold a salmon under suspicious circumstances. I didn't make that one up, does sound fishy though.

Hide the Juicy Fruit if you travel to Singapore - illegal.

Also in Singapore, if you move around the house naked, without closing the blinds, you can be arrested. Besides, where would you hide the Juicy Fruit? Ever consider working in Code Enforcement?

In Thailand you cannot leave the house if you are not wearing underwear. (Nevermind on the Code Enforcement thought.)

You cannot hike in the nude in Switzerland. Cross that one off my bucket list.

Passed into law in 2009, it's illegal to be fat in Japan. (Bucket list, strike two.)

In Portugal, you pee in the sea, you're in hot water, so to speak - as it's illegal.

You'd better make sure on "Till Death Do Us Part" in the Philippines and The Vatican as divorce is illegal.

Next time your kid comes home from school in complaint of them being harsh, tell him/her "In Bangladeshi children of 15 age and older can be sent to jail for cheating on their final exams."

In Britain it is illegal to operate a cow while intoxicated. Which cannot be drunk the person or the cow? And, how does one operate a cow?

In Norway, there is a law that protects all female dogs and cats from being spayed. (Legal to neuter male dogs/cats.) Would Donald still welcome them?

Enjoy your Sunday, don't break the law (or break wind in Florida) and for goodness sakes don't mess around with Jim (ah da doo doo da dee dee dee dee)

Love, Victurd



Saturday, January 27, 2018

Umbrellas...........

We can never forget the rain....

Yesterday I shared a post someone had put up about the effects a bad boss has on a company and it's employees. I was really kinda taken back by the number of people who indicated they'd been 'touched' by that - and the names within - and figured EVEN MORE were, but, still in that situation making it impossible to comment.

We carry the umbrella, we stay dry, appear AOK, but we never forget the rain.

In thinking how many were/are in the same boat - I thought about many other life ills.

Health - perhaps there were/are some that couldn't even make it to the computer. Maybe been given a 'sentence', maybe won't go to the doc for fear of a sentence... maybe it's a daily struggle one's had to endure his/her entire life... Yes, dry, seemingly ok, but we must never forget the rain.

Grief... it's a lifelong thing, be it a best friend, mate, parent, grandparent, sibling, child. It's raining, we stay dry, but we never forget we're amidst the rain.

Self image. One bravely holds the umbrella, functions, stays dry - but it's a known inside it's felt "wet as can be, chilled, wish the goosebumps away so others will see as ok for: - 'he/she is dry, thank goodness.' "

Anger, perhaps along with the umbrella, one totes a torch under there... "Don't necessarily like carrying that torch, but - its' me, - I can't help it, I simply don't like much of this thing called life."

Well I hope one sees, acts. I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome. We must never lose track of the fact it's raining on many lives - we sadly sometimes learn 'after the fact' "Well I never would have guessed that about him/her." I think life is pretty simple. Everyone carries an umbrella - and whothehell among us knows to protect against what?

All people suffer some of the time. Some people suffer all of the time.

We must not forget it rains in people's lives - and the simplest of things (Calling to 'catch up', a text "You were on my brain, I love you!".. I've missed our conversations.".. An innocent "how are you?" A smile. A letter. A visit in person. An email sharing beautiful pictures, a fun saying, a funny story, a joke. Maybe even "how's your health?" <-- I had that asked of me a year ago, and I'd never had that asked of me before. I was briefly shocked, then, I realized the question was out of care, concern for/of me - and it truly did make me stop, think, and yes, even act - but maybe most importantly, I appreciated their genuine concern. I think, sure, each individual situation must be looked at before popping that question - but it truly did benefit me. Perhaps "how you feeling" instead? May be a good opener.

Care, concern, niceness - wonderful ways to duck one's head in under another's umbrella to see how they are truly doing - even in sunshine, nice weather.

I'm sorry - no attempts at humor today - a simple reminder we carry umbrellas, wear masks, force smiles - pride keeps one from asking for help occasionally - then allofasudden a wonderful person pops up/in - shows care, concern - it goes miles in effort to make it stop/deter the rain. Moreso even, than umbrellas.

Hug a loved one, hold their umbrella for/over them, maybe even peek in under, while we still can,

Victor

Friday, January 26, 2018

Maxwell House.........

My miserly ways place me somewhere between Best Choice and Always Save... If yain't from the Midwest, that won't make sense - but those are products produced by a grocery chain... of course lower priced than national brands, Best Choice is one notch above Always Save, and generally the price, taste - falls accordingly.

On sale last week, Maxwell House. Bought. Drinking it now. Aside from the time I tried to impress a former girlfriend by purchasing a pound of her favorite Dunkin Donut Coffee - about as exotic as I get in coffee buying.

Good to the last drop. Yum, I love that saying - and their coffee.

There are people in this world we marvel at. Some, still here, some, ain't.

Rusty Kuntz, 1st base coach for the Kansas City Royals. Folks love Rusty, players, coaches, fans, even opposing players. It's said "He's never had a bad day in his life." There seems to be a common theme for "Good to the last drop" = nice, smile, fun.

Jimmy Mabery. I loved me some Jimmy Mabery, may he rest in peace. Class of 1969, he may have been the best running back to ever play at our High School. You'da never known it though. Fun, that guy was fun. Smile, that guy smiled. Nice, that dude was nice. One year older than me, he probably never knew how much me - and certainly scores of others, looked up to him. Our country was going thru transition. Jimmy happened to be African American. A trendsetter in fashion. Always drove the coolest cars. Fixed 'em himself if they had probs - but more than anything, he sucked every minute outta life. He was, the most popular dude in school.

Jimmy could go from 0 to 50 both on the football field and in his car faster than anything I'd ever seen. Balance. Man did he have balance. Gym class, during gymnastics - he'd have us all saying/thinking "Nuh uh, did he really just do that?" Football, three guys coming at him. He'd pause, they'd lunge, before you knew it he was four yards over and headed upfield for another touchdown. He coulda, probably shoulda, had a case of "the big head" - nope, not Jimmy, he was balanced.

As much as I'/we marveled at his duds, his physique (the guy didn't, never did have an ounce of fat on him), his cars, his backsprings, double flip dismounts, yards after contact - what made Jimmy special (to me anyways) was his thirst for life, fun. Liberty Public Schools, please close your ears. After High School, Jimmy was a mechanic at "The Bus Barn" working on school buses. He worked with my then brother inlaw - another 'good to the last drop' guy - and man did they have fun. One day I pulled up to visit. They had this trough, twenty feet long, maybe six feet deep by five foot wide, allowing them to change the oil from beneath the buses. (I hadta lookup 'trough' cause I don't think I'd ever written it before, and yep, that's how you spell it - I woulda thought 'troff' or something like that.)............

Anyways, on this particular day, they weren't changing oil. Nuh uh. They'd filled the trough with water and were swimming laps, dunking each other, splashing, but mostly laughing, having fun, living life good to the last drop. I will forever smile when thinking of Jimmy.

Yesterday - I played golf. A guy I went to college with was just finishing up as I arrived. There must be a kajillion "nicest guy (or gal) on the planet" - but he is one of those. How good is that? To be thought of as 'the nicest guy on the planet'? Again, the theme runs common: nice, smile, fun.

Funerals. We cry. We emote. I can't tell you how many funerals I've attended where I've sat there and thought "his/her family should be proud - what a nice, nice person... and HOW GOOD IS THAT to be thought of in that way going out?" Good to the last drop.

Ugly. We borrow a move from Jimmy when coming upon ugly. We pause, scoot four yards to either side, then continue downfield. Thankfully, our minds return to those in our lives who are nice, smile and have fun. Sounds easy, but I bet it ain't.

We are human. We fail. We blurt. We conscience all that.

Thank the Lord for 'good to the last drop' people. They remind us life is good. It can be fun, if we let it be. We can smile, a lot, if we so choose to. We can have fun, in nearly any dadgum thing we do, if we decide to.

I am human, hear me roar,
Thanks though life for these examples,
They help us soar.

Good to the last drop.

More coffee please,
Love, Victurd

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Say........

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools speak (or blog, ha) because they have to say something".... Plato

"Say, got any spare change?" Bum anon

"The cars we drive say a lot about us." Alexandra Paul (Hence, the title of this blog, har)

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Mahatma Ghandi (I wonder if this was going thru Mellencamp's brain when he suggested to Diane they run off behind a shady tree?)

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say." Bryant H. McGill (I'm really torn on this one, and I think it depends on the person speaking. If ya don't know 'em, reckon you give them a chance... if you really respect them, OF COURSE you listen intently. If one talks, ne'er to listen, that's poopy and you lose your train of thought. Victor? What were you saying? Ha.

"So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good." Helen Keller. (Helen, I really like that one.. High Five! No, over here. - Sorry!)

"Sometimes I wish that I could go into a time machine right now and just look at my self and say, "Calm down. Things are gonna be fine. Things are gonna be all great. Just relax." Tristan Wilds (I likes that, and how many of us have "been there?"... I've got a really good friend that consternates over her children - questioning her own parenting skills combined with prayer for her kids climbing [and slipping upon occasion] in life... I find comfort in that. Care/concern are usually coupled with good decision making.)

"Do as I say and not as I do." Said, sometimes even silently, by many of us. Being old affords many nifty things. One of my personal favs is to say "I HATE when old people give me advice BUT........" -> and this is where you explain to the whippersnappers you've been thru this, screwed it up, and you're simply trying to help them navigate thru the traffic cones of life, thus, do as I say and not as I do.

"At the end of the day, if I can say I had fun, it was a good day." Simone Biles. (Simone, after I read that, I looked back and there ain't one word with more than four letters - and with that in mind I'd like to reply "HOW COOL IS THAT?"... You build them suckers up, one day at a time - and life is good, really good. Thanks.

"When we adopt a dog or any pet, we know it is going to end with us having to say goodbye, but we still do it. And we do it for a very good reason. They bring so much joy and optimism and happiness. They attack every moment of every day with that attitude." Bruce Cameron (People are different, and of course we're afforded/entitled to our own opines. That said, you're either an animal lover or you ain't - which, to me, equates to you're either lucky or you ain't.)

"People always say that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. I was not tired physically.. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in." Rosa Parks (Thank you Rosa, one of the greatest, most impactive, past due moments of all time.)

"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." Lao Tzu.
(Lao, immediately coming to my mind is a ten foot pole, as in, no touchy.)

"I am happy to say that everyone I have met in my life, I have gained something from them, be it negative or positive, it has enforced and reinforced my life in some aspect." Walter Payton (TOUCHDOWN Walter! My best friend, a bit more succinctly puts it "I am a part of all I have met.")

You say yes, I say no...
Say, say, say...
I just called to say I love you...
Kids say the darndest things..

Dinah usedta say "SEE.. THE.. USA.. IN YOUR CHEVROLET."
American folk song say "Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah."

George Burns, aside from saying "Sex at age 90 is like playing pool with a rope" usedto always say "Goodnight Gracie."

You say goodbye and I say hello.. hello hello.........

Love, Victurd








Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Good times never seemed so good.....

SO GOOD SO GOOD.

Happy works.

I make zero apologies for being a Facebook addict. It's like a hometown newspaper/menu of life, complete with the comics. Skip past the ucky, delve-suckup on the yummy. If you woulda told me 40 years ago that "scroll" and "pop-up" would be predominant in my life I'da toldya you were nutso, but here we/they are.

Quite a few years ago I (somewhat begrudgingly) went with a group to see Neil Diamond. He went thru hit after hit, happy happened, and before I knew it I was on my feet 'singing' SO GOOD SO GOOD....

4/20/2013... Fenway Park... The Boston Marathon bombings had happened five days earlier. Our Kansas City Royals were sequestered in a Boston hotel - awaiting game day, and the "All Clear" (sadly, if there is sucha damn thing nowadays)... Anyway, it was the only time in my life I'd ever rooted against the Royals.

In this day and age of musicians, appearance fees, inane demands, one Neil Diamond showed up from Brooklyn (unannounced) 30 minutes prior to gametime - called the control room and asked if he could sing Sweet Caroline - a song that was played in the 8th inning at every single Boston Red Sox game. Farm out.

Sadness be damned (and I don't mean that in disrespect to anyone affected by the bombings - I mean that as "hatrid, you ain't gonna stop us from living - and living happily.") Count it as one of the most emotional moments/times in many of our lives - I know it was for me and I will never forget it.

This is supposed to be about 'happy', but I'm pulling off at the rest stop to say I Hate you Parkinson's. When you're old, it doesn't make you an expert in life, but it does afford observation over time - and from the time my father developed Parkinson's, to when my good friend's mom got Parkinson's, to now - thankfully there has been great advancement in medicine... I hope you live to be a hunnerd Neil, you've been SO GOOD SO GOOD.

Happy is a seed. A friend posted a short video on FB showing the change in expression on people's face when they were told "You're beautiful" or "You're handsome." You water the seed, happiness sprouts. I friggin love happy.

Another friend posted an extremely uplifting video of a speech by a man who had learned so much (SO MUCH SO MUCH) in life from his father - a third grade dropout. Ya hadta be there (to see it) but it was emotional, happy, yummy and SO GOOD SO GOOD.

Life teaches. Long ago I was at a basketball coaching convention and Hubie Brown was the guest speaker. Hubie was very successful as a college basketball coach, as well as in the NBA. He talked about always keeping your eyes open, life teaches. Told the story of being at his daughter's third grade basketball game and he "stole" an Inbounds Play from her coach/team. Farm out, SO GOOD SO GOOD.

So, reckon we should deduct, keep your eyes open, happy, good, learning happens.

Hurt so good/oxymoron. The Bubba table. A group of old fart men who usedta be in nice relationships with women, but due to our probable (certain) behavior, we've ended up together and universally discuss "If it's got T__'s or Tires, you're destined for trouble." Sorry, kinda, to any women who figured that one out. Anyways, they afford me happiness. Due to an abscess, my jaw is time and a half the normal size. Bubba's bring happiness, tales, laughter. I was dying (in a good way) from laughing yesterday, it quite literally hurt SO GOOD SO GOOD.

I really don't know how to get outta this. Reminds me of those Escape Rooms nowadays. People pay good money to get locked in a room and they gotta figure out howintheheck to get out by deducting from clues.

Yesterday, I met with a banker. Banker/Victor = oxymoron, yet, there I was transferring my "you no longer work here, please take your 401K money elsewhere" to the bank I deal with day in, day out. We talked stocks, bonds, risks, rewards, and then goals. I really couldn't thinka much other than "well, should my car burn up, I'd like to be able to grab some bucks for another one" or "I ain't dying to see Venice, but maybe a nice trip to Branson would be cool, oh, and a 60 year old blonde." Car, travel were choices on his computer screen, sadly, the blonde wasn't.

Then he wanted to know... "How long?" Huh? I guess we must put a time stamp on this, an 'end'. I said "80". I've taken those Life Expectancy Tests before (family health history, eating habits, personal habits, yada) and the answer that popped up was about 8 years short of 80.. anyways, I said it.

In the meantime, I'll keep my eyes open for life's teaching/happy: watching children.. flashmobs.. music.. dogs.. cats.. sports.. happy people.. nice people.. marveling at those who pay it forward (Thanks for paying for my haircut Skip Greer!).. loving those that really care...happy tears.. thanking God for yet another day...

Life, happy is SO GOOD SO GOOD.

Love, Victurd

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Just jawin'.......... (Or, Goofus's side of the Goofus and Gallant story)

I was gonna entitle "I got punched in the jaw" but that would be a teaser - which, I've been known to do upon occasion - tease - but figured I wouldn't this time for the sake of anyone stumbling by (and thank you for stumbling if you're here.)

My jaw, right side, is huge.

You see, I was down at the bar... and.... (Victor, you've never been in a fistfight in your life, WHO is gonna believe this?) Yeah, you're right, just don't tell no one I haven't, sounds kinda sissified - but in truth, I'm kinda glad I ain't been.... We did box in High School gym class, ain't namin' names, but the guy quit after what seemed like a few minutes, and that's pretty sad in and of itself 'cause I think I had the second scrawniest set of arms in class.

I actually have a tooth gone bad (note to whippersnappers, take care of them dang things, for if you don't, you will one day look like me, haveta get a partial, forget where you laid it, have to hear your girlfriend say "got the keys? Tickets? Teeth?".. and.. slyly remove it in a restaurant to eat, yada.)

An abscess, when defined, contains the verbiage "pus, bacteria, debris." (Whoda thunk pus was spelled with just one s, but, in looking, I guess I undertand why it is.)

So, I look like I got in a brawl. I looked at my bank balance to make an appointment with the Dentist "No Pain Jane" (Victor, regarding your bank account, remember you didn't know Social Security had that waiting month, and insteada getting your first check THIS third Wednesday, it ain't coming until February's third Wednesday. Oh yeah.)

Got a form printed to scan, to withdrawal enough for No Pain, and to gimme thru until SS check arrives.. to email the 401K overseers. Tried scanning on my spiffy new $30-something Canon printer. Wouldn't. Emailed their so stated "World renowned Customer Service Department" Still ain't heard back - and that was actually a couple days ago. Went to library to scan. "Do you have your library card?" Ahm, no, I actually have one, but I too remember I have a fine from over 30 years ago." Visualized cops/handcuffs and "Well, with interest, your fine is now $2,487." Instead, kind lady gave me a visitor pass, helped me scan, gave me a USB thingy to download it, pointed me in the direction of the nearest free computer. Sheepishly had to get her to help me find whereintheheck the saved docs were so I could attach to email, and yada, did so.

401K guy (Gerald Kravitz I think it was) replied "I'm sorry Victor, since you are no longer employed, you can't make a partial withdrawal, you have to withdraw all of it." My tooth hurts perty darn bad, ain't time for that now.. so....

So insteada calling No Pain (Honest, that's how she advertises, I've been to her and her work is true to the word, mostly, there is baby pain from all the dadgum shots she does first)- I rolled into CVS for some OTC stuff to put on my DGG (Dad Gum Gumb).

For years (PLEASE don't tell) to get the whatever they call the CVS valued customer discount, I've entered my ex's phone number 'cause I wasn't a registered, valued customer. Since it's been 12 years, guilt happened as I walked in, cashier standing by herself, so I asked "how long does it take to sign up for the valued customer thingy?"... "Just a few seconds, what's your phone number?" Told her.., she replied "Victor?".. "Yes"... "You're already in there." And to think of all the times I've sweated as I punched in whatshername's phone number all these years. Duh me.

Found the oral treatment aisle, happened to be adjacent to the family planning aisle... after a quick "eww".. I perused. Found a super strong abscess specific pain reliever for $23-something... then eyeballed one that was $3.99 ($4.50 off) and toted it up to the CVS valued customer signer-upper.

"That'll be $9.03." Ahm, it said $3.99 before tax? She was nice, but she took an immediate Gladys Kravitz stroll back past family planning to the oral aisle to make sure I no speaky with forked tongue. My jaw is so swollen, my tongue CAN'T forky. "See? I wasn't fibbin." Fixed. Paid. Out the door I went.

I sat in car, read the directions, said a baby prayer thanking the dude who put lens implants in my eyes 11 years ago, as the type was either size 2 or 4, but I could read it.

"Cut open tip on tube" and I stopped reading. Opened the tube, took the lid off and pressed it on the part where the abscess fighter should ooze out, nope, didn't work. Got a toothpick, pressed it hard atop it, nope, didn't work either. Returned to the type size 2 directions "Cut open tip on tube on the score mark." Hey, I've got a utility knife in my tool kit in the trunk! Well... even though my pain has gotten pretty bad, I decided there's no sense in cutting the tube to get ridda the bacteria with something that probably has bacterial allover it - I drove home.

Score mark. I got home, cut the score mark, got the gel allover my gums, tooth - and there was kinda actual immediate relief. I thought the verbiage 'score' was kinda unique, so, thought I'd blog about SCORE, but here I sit. Too many dadgum paragraphs already to start anew and make jokes about:

Score.. the GOAL GOAL GOAL announcer dude.

Score.. like when you find a twenty dollar bill in a pair of pants.

Score.. like my 1.6 grade average the first semester of my freshman year in college.. HEY, I had a girlfriend 120 miles away back home, drove to see her every Friday... OK, a lie, I'd leave on Thursday thinking "eh, I'm just missing one day of class."

Score.. a group of twenty.. "Four score and seven years ago" by Abe........... honest.

Score.. orchestrate..

Score.. the state of affair.. nah, don't wanna go that direction.

Score.. the act of buying illegal drugs.. or, the proceeds of a crime.. that ain't funny.

Score.. cut or scratch a notch or line on a surface (my anti bacteria tube thingy)...

Score.. as in you're pervert as you've been awaiting this one.

Did I really just read thru this blog today AND THAT IS ALL THERE IS?

Yeah, sorry.

Just jawin'.

As an aside, my heart (and jaw) are swollen for you... Love, Victurd.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Mark....... Set......... Whoa......

(With apologies to Carly.. I know, I know.. I'm so vain)

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I'm really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day

Procrastination
Procrastination
Is making me wait
Is keeping me waiting

Retirement, I'm finding, is all about procrastination. Yesterday, I was sitting, staring at the gosh awful barren walls of this single man's one bedroom abode - and I thought about buying a vertical sign to put by the door: LIVE.

And another, just to the right of the door: GO... DO... You know Victor, all your old fart buddies remind you "If you don't move, you die."

Then I decided to go take a nap.

And I tell you how easy it is to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me
But I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinking about how right tonight might be

Hey Carly, you changed this to 'coupledom'? That wasn't what I was looking for. I will say this about that: s'more procrastination. I ain't gots no 'relationship GPS'. Seems dead ends usually happen. When that happens, I pull into a driveway of someone I don't know, turnaround, and head the other direction. This is a recording. Victor, maybe you are so vain? Bite me.

Procrastination
Procrastination
Is making me wait
Is keeping me waiting

Then, I watched maybe the most powerful, motivational speech I've maybe ever seen... Pumped up.. I literally saw myself as Stallone running up whatever damn steps it was he ran up.... I ran to the computer thinking "I can be any damn thing I wanna be.. you know what? I'm gonna write a book.... YO ADRIAN? I'M GONNA WRITE A DAMN BOOK!"

I opened the word processor.. sat... and sat.. nuttin', I got nuttin'. Then, I went to the easy chair, played Sudoku until my eyes drooped, and... took a nap.

And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet
I don't know nature's way
So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here
Cause these are the good old days

The "we" above, sure, could refer to a mate.. or.. writing a book... or, about going to the gym, doing 12,364 mountain climbers, 9,366 crunches, 12,072 laps around the weight machines.. getting rid of that damn belly fat... Then I thought:
Tomorrow, maybe I'll do all that tomorrow.

LIVE............. GO............ DO.........

Nah, not today - I'm retired. Maybe I will tomorrow.

Procrastination
Procrastination
Is making me wait
Is keeping me waiting

Do mice have plans? They must. They always say "Best laid plans of mice and men." (And, to stymie them, would you use a live trap or a smash 'em yuck trap?) I, personally, because I'm so vain, use the "smash 'em yuck trap" simply because they're manufactured by 'Victor.'

So... I Googled "Where did the saying 'Best laid plans of Mice and Men' come from... Google told me:

"No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still go wrong with it. The saying is adapted from a line in "To a Mouse" by Robert Burns. "The best laid schemes of mice and men/Gang aft a-gley." I ain't gonna Google "Gang aft a-gley", I'm simply assuming it means "awry."

LIVE............. GO..............DO.............

Today? Nah, plans will just go awry. I'm thinking along the lines of a toasted ham, egg and cheese sandwich - then maybe a nap.

With advance apologies (for profanity) to any relatives that may wander by:

LIVE............ GO.............. DO..............

Nah, I think I'll do that shit tomorrow. I'm retired. I'm selfish. It'd just go awry anyways. I'm gonna lay down.........

Then maybe I'll do it.

Procrastination
Procrastination
Is making me wait
Is keeping me waiting

Victor, you're so damn vain.

Uh huh,
Love, Victurd

Friday, January 19, 2018

PSportsYCHOLOGY

If yain't particularly a fan of sports, mebbe exit stage left.

But, if you enjoy looking into the makeup of mankind, mebbe give it a look see.

I sometimes wonder what life would bring if I would not have spent so much of the day(s) without sports. If one would do one of those 'pizza charts' and list things that your life is centered around.. sports would take up a very large portion of that pepperoni pizza for me anyways. Regrets? Not really, I love sports.. yeah but:

Can you learn life lessons in athletics?

Uh huh, my take anyways.

Wonderful read about a wonderful man this morning, (Tony Severino, long longtime Rockhurst High School Football Coach... writer Sam McDowell/KC Star.) He's 69, been at Rockhurst 35 years, been coaching 48 years. Eight time state football champions, runner up five times, semifinals 19 times, oh, and a HS Baseball State Championship too.

How so? What's he got others ain't?

Competing Coach says "I marvel at Tony. I've always said that he seems to have such a great relationship with his kids."

How so, many do, and they ain't as successful?

An assistant relates "I watch our teams and go back 30 years and our kids play the same way they always have.... there's not a day we do something at practice these kids don't know exactly what they're supposed to do and the exact same they're supposed to do it."

So... consistency?

Yes. Is that not a beautiful 'boss trait?' Life, good/bad within, lends us many varying moods, setbacks, accomplishments, yearnings - to do that for so long, so right, same expectations - I'll certainly take that from a boss.

Another competitive coach says "I'm not sure I've ever seen him in a stressful situation where he loses his cool. I'm sure he gets upset. I'm sure he has a bad day, but we never knew about it."

Me? I get mad at the world occasionally, curse, drive to nowhere for an hour trying to calm down... yes, maybe have a beer.. yes, maybe reply with something stupid on social media... I believe the vast majority of us will show our hiney at some point - kudos to this man for not doing so, for so dadgum long.

As we age, questions happen. How much longer are you gonna work (or bowl, ski, play softball, yada?) Tony's reply:

"When I forget what it's was like to be an 18-year old kid, and when I run out of energy, then it's time for me to get out.. I haven't forgotten what it's like to be a player."

Soooooooooooooooooo... you mean having a boss that sees the view from your 'cleats?' Far out. I've been employed by some wonderful companies, had some wonderful bosses - but how good of a quality/attitude is that to have in overseeing people? Simply, relating to them and what they go through day in, day out. That's the way, ah huh ah huh, I like it.

Being a high school football coach takes up ooooodles of time, ain't he gotta home life?

Uh huh, soon to be 50 years with the same lady. Teasingly he says "My wife will get on me because I can tell you something that happened in a game from 1980, but I can't remember what she told me yesterday."... all of which is lovingly pointed to --> "To this day, he often calls just to say he loves her." Dang.

So, let's add that all up: developed/maintained interpersonal relationships (at work and at home),consistency of expectations, composure, empathy (and much, much more 'good' within the article.)

The guy is an institution, and a lesson to/for us all. He is a wonderfully successful man, and it so happens it evolves around football. Shuffle the deck, replace 'football' above with any other type of business (retail, wholesale, construction, service industry, manufacturing, telecommunications, transport, yada) - and I bet he'd be just as successful there.

It's pretty neat to have folks to look up to, admire from afar, and yes, even attempt to emulate. Thanks Sam for the article, and thanks Tony for the life lessons.

Love, Victurd.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

I really can't stay... Baby it's cold outside...

** Note to all our friends we usedta like that live in tropical climes (Snowbirds, this means you TOO!) **

Just kidding, kinda. You there, the tropical dudes/dudettes/snowbirds. For empathy, please grab your laptop, a folding chair, and a box fan... put on shorts and a tank top - drive to the nearest bar and grill that has a walk in cooler. Ask 'em if you can borrow it for a short. Enter, plug in fan (put it on High), unfold chair, sit, read.... This will only kinda-sorta make you understand, as walk in coolers are 35 to 41 degrees, fan on high should give you a wind chill around 29 (we're still below Zero here in KC), read blog. Have I mentioned we hate you yet?"

I've got to go away... Baby it's cold outside.

I awaken. I don't invest in much, mainly cause I ain't got much - BUT, I bought some really really warm blankets/comforters to cover me up, afford sleep in this ungodly weather. Peepers open. I'm an "on the (right) side" sleeper - so, 95% of me snoozes wonderfully in warmth. My right hand, sticking straight out, uncovered, I cannot feel. I pull it in under the covers, my old age/prostate begs me to go pee, but I can't - I must gain circulation to my hand before I put one foot on that too-darn-cold floor. I pull the arm/hand under the covers and fiercely rub it until it turns from blue to kinda pink/fleshish.

I pee. I go to the front door to peek outside. Victor, why don't you just look out the window? Because, the windows have the cheap plastic you can't see thru/compete with duct tape around, to keep the dadgum cold out, thus, I no be able to looky out the window.

The neighbors might think... Baby it's bad out there...

Looking out the front door - it appears all 4 tires still have air in them. (This coming Sunday, 2:05pm, Foxborough, Massachusetts, might be the only time Brady/the Patriots can play with deflated balls and be able to blame it on Old Man Winter.)

270-Terry. My buddy Terry, this past Sunday, asked his daughter if she wanted to go for a spin. Just kidding, he asked her if she would go with him to Church. "Sure." Normal speed on I-29 65mph, that day, 40mph due to this yuck of winter (snow, ice, wind, patooey)... Up the hill they went, the front of the car argued with the rear of the car, "Uh oh" happened, it veered right, he steered left, tires, still mid-argument, said "you over-corrected" - back tires in median, front two (thankfully, front wheel drive) still on the pavement (a 270 degree spin, just short of 360). Only one car in sight in rear view mirror - thankfully they slowed, awaited until he/daughter slivered out, back on course - all good.

I simply must go... Baby it's cold outside.

(Dumb) Old dog, new tricks. So, I ran out, started my car, ran back in, BRRRRRRR, jumped under a warm throw, and awaited long enough to where surely, heat was circulating thru my car. Whew, it was. (More, dumb-old dog in a sec).

How lucky that you dropped in... So nice and warm...

Made it to gas station and I never hit a curb in en route. I pulled the thingy to open the hood (saying a baby prayer that it wasn't frozen shut as I did) - and thanks, it did open. Glove on left hand, I used the ungloved right hand (it was still kinda mad at me) to pull the oil dipstick out.. "oh crud.. a quart low." So, I hit the button to plop open the trunk (same baby prayer said), it opened, thanks - and I grabbed me the quart of oil I'd stuck in there.

But maybe just a cigarette more... Never seen such a blizzard before...

(You there, in the cooler? How ya feeling, and remember, you're 30 gosh darn degrees warmer than us).. Right hand opened the cap to the oil, I put the funnel in, turned the quart upside down.. here's where the "Dumb-dipstick" part comes in... nuttin' happened, then finally a drop of glob dropped out. Geez Louise I'm an idiot. One would think in 49 years of driving, I woulda learned this lesson. So, ran in, bought a warm quart, coffee/newspaper.. poured the oil in, back home (still didn't hit a curb.)

Gee this is fun, I can't wait until the day my balance really sucks, I can't see near as well, and I might not be able to revive my frozen right hand.

I've got to get home.. BABY, you'll freeze out there...

WHY WHY WHY WHY do we live here? Victor, the Midwest is wonderful, friendly folks, we get to experience James Taylor's Winter Spring Summer and Fall, the Chiefs, the Royals..... LIKE I SAID (forgive me Father, I HATED when she would say that).. LIKE I SAID.. WHY WHY WHY WHY do we live here?

Say lend me your coat... It's up to your knees out there.

I've got one eyeball on Surprise, Arizona/Spring Training.. the other on the 2008 Pontiac Grand Prix odometer boasting 155,434 miles. To The Ballpark, by Willie Makeit.

I really can't stay.. Get over that hold out.. Baby it's cold outside.. Okay, fine, jut another drink.. I took a lot of convincing.

Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (Victor, you can't combine two songs)
Here I am at Camp Paleezing,
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops freezing.

I went hiking with Ralph Wainwright
He developed, case of frostbite,
You remember, my best friend Cole..
Got his tongue stuck, on that pole..

Take me home, oh Muddah Fadduh
Take me home, I hate Paleezing,
Don't leave me out in the forest where,
I might, get frozen on the stair

Wait a minute, it's not snowing,
Cars are starting, and they're going
Checking the forecast, gee that's better,
Muddah Faddah kindly disregard this letter.

HEY!!! Fitty-three degress Saturday? I gotta text my buddies to see if they wanna play golf!

Life, as we in the frozen tundra of the Midwest know it. "Misery" ain't all that bad.

You can come outta the cooler now - baby it's cold in there.

Love, Victurd

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

When you're hot you're hot.......

And Si, when you ain't, you're not....

Live, from the North Pole.......... no.... wait.. this is Liberty, MO... cell says 3 below (I know it's worse elsewhere, it's ok, I'm old, I like to gripe.) Wind chill is -11 degrees, as parents scramble to find sitters for their kiddos - there ain't no standin' out in this to await the yellow bus that may/may not start.......

I remember hot. No, not me, remember? Sister always said "You look like Alfred E. Newman.".. We'd go to a relative's house we hadn't seen in awhile.. and it was always "Isn't Vanda beautiful.. and isn't Victor... ahm, growing."

Depression. Well yes, comments like the above could lend that, but no, I'm perfectly fine with it! Depression, as in cold weather? Well sure, it's cold as... well.. I was gonna say that, but that's supposed to be hot.

Hot as in The Depression Era in KC.. August 14, 1936 the temp reached 113 degrees - still the record today. We've been thru heatwaves in 1934, 1936, 1954 and in 1980. CHA CHING, that one rings a bell.

In 1980 roughly 40% of KC residents still didn't have AC. During the heatwaves of '34, '36, and '54 residents would camp out at Swope Park, The Liberty Memorial and Penn Valley Park to find cooler areas. Didn't happen in 1980, a thing called crime had come along. Sadly, 176 heat-related deaths happened.

What are your memories of being hot? Of course, as kids, biking, hiking, swimming... laying on a pallet with a fan trained on you - or - if you were lucky enough to have a window unit, plopped down in front of that. Remember riding in the car with the windows down, wing pointed IN to get air circulation? Tell that one to a millennial and watch 'em give the old Scooby-Doo "huh?" as they scratch their heads...

WORST JOB EVER... Yours? I've had jobs where I sweated and loved it. I'm weird in that I enjoy the heat. I know a couple of transplanted Michiganians (or Michinganites, however in the heck you say it) and they (love this) HATE the hot. I cursed them, kinda, as my bones creaked hopping in my car this morning. OK, it wasn't really a hop.. it was "gingerly got into the car." Victor, ginger as in Alfred E? Nope, ginger as in old. Anyways, I HOPE THEY ARE HAPPY.

OK, worst job ever.. for me anyways.. hauling sod. I lasted ONE DAY. It was damn hot. HOW HOT WAS IT? (More on that one later.) It was hot, let's just say that. Sod is heavy, I've got wimpy arms - but, the very worst part was the bugs. Yuck, yuck and more yuck. So how does one prepare for the bugs? Well, you wear long sleeves. Now I do enjoy heat, but that was pushing it. If there's any one out that that ever hauled sod and enjoyed it, please don't say so 'cause I'll think you're nutso.

HEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY................

Carson thrived on moments like "It was very hot today." HOW HOT WAS IT?

It was so hot:
"Cows are giving evaporated milk."
"Chickens are laying boiled eggs."
"I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog."
"Bill Clinton has sworn off sex until we get a cool snap."
"Rosie O'Donnell is selling shade."
"I saw a robin dipping his worn in Nestea."
"It was so hot today that Burger King was saying 'If you want it made
your way, cook it yourself."

Cold cold go away - we're shriveled up here (And I know your first thought.. damn there's a lotta perves here.)

If it's any consolation, it's gonna be 93 in Rio today.

And, if it's of any assistance:

Only 54 hours until we reach 32 degrees.
28 days until pitchers/catchers report.
44 days to Spring.
135 days until June, July and August. (Us, and the oak mites canardly wait.)
And... based on two Home Playoff wins in KC Chief's 54 year history (that's one every 27 years) so, our next one should be in 26 years in 2,044. (When you're hot your hot, when you're not you're not.)

"In a relationship with Air Conditioner." Someone said.

Back to head scratchin'... the BlogSpot thing keeps track of whatintheheck the audience is for this specific blog (What countries have visited here). Fancy for "I tried Googling "Check Engine Light to fix my car and this blog popped up." Folks from ten different countries have stumbled on here. The warmest one, at present, might find someone typing:

"J'ai googlé le voyant ainsi je pourrais réparer mon Peugeot et j'ai obtenu ce blog. Il fait 51 degrés ici, que voulez-vous dire froid" which of course is fancy for the Frenchman's "I Googled check engine light so I could fix my Peugeot and got this blog. It's 51 degrees here, what do you mean cold?"

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather is, always bring your own sunshine." Anthony J. D'Angelo

Pandora if you like:

Summer Breeze
Surfin' Safari
Summertime
Summer in the City
School's Out
Saturday in the Park (I think it was the 4th of July)
Those Lazy Hazy Cray Days of Summer

When you're hot you're hot, when you're not you're not......

Oh, and if you ever run into a transplanted Michiganite and it happens to be one degree.. show 'em the temperature with your hand. (Two degrees, use both hands.)

Come on baby light my fire...... Love, BrrrrrrrTurd

Monday, January 15, 2018

Something in the way she moves....

Move = what a wonderful, ucky word.

As I retired, fellow AARP members warned me "Move... or die." Wonderful advice.

When a relationship, a stay, a job, a downsize, maybe even an opportunity happens, you move. I'm allergic to cardboard boxes and I'd like to think I will never move again, but, realize it's probable in the future. Hello Two Men and a Truck. That kinda move is ucky.

Waiting in line at Wallyword, ya want the line to move. I do love that they now have those "Scan it yourself and go" thingies (with 87 cameras trained on you)... but I oh so love corn on the cob. And the dadgum scanners haven't figured out how to scan a piece of corn on the cob.

Move... from birth... the eyes.. the legs.. the arms... the fingers... on a blanket - ya turn over... and back.. ya scoot... ya crawl..ya bear walk.. ya stand.. and fall... and fall.. and walk.. and fall... before you know it, ya run... and run... and fall.. and run s'more.. They say, ya move 172,440,600 steps in a lifetime. (They also say wolves move, on average, 25 miles a day, even with a lifespan of only 5.5 years, that's still 100,375,000 Steppinwolf(s).. sorry, kinda.)

As we age, we go back to walking. Run? Sorry, won't. Ok damnit, can't. We lean. We fall. Moving is a cycle.

Move, as in emotions. YUM. Whilst I love me some animals - what better than watching a dog play, a cat swipe? Well, people watching, that's what. Kids. Sports. A swim pool. An open air market. Old folks. Young folks. Single folks. Coupled folks. Highs, lows. Shock, predicted. Yummy. Sudden rain, heat, snow, wind. People watching is yummy. It moves me. "If you don't move, you die."

My Southern speaking buddy Norm, from "Greenvulle, South Care-olinah", at work on break, when someone got up.. "Ya move ya feet, ya lose yah seat" and he'd jump smilingly into their chair.

"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has the power to move you, if the simple things in nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." Eleonora Duse.

I so love laughter. That too is moving. Our bodies are silent, we hear, see something that makes us emote/laugh - and it's a complete euphoric moment. I know a couple days ago, I blogged about not being so happy with what our leader had said. So, color me a hypocrite as I laughed this morning. A friend posted a cartoon. First frame. It was a bear, and a rabbit, immense size difference. They were, close your ears, (both) squatting and pooping in the woods. Thus, big pile/little 'pellets'. Caption, mid-poop, Bear asks Rabbit "Does it bother you to have poo on your fur?"... "Nope" answered the rabbit. Next frame of cartoon shows the bear holding the tiny rabbit, wiping himself. Maybe ya had to be there. I GOL'ed (Giggled). Move is surprise, change, happy, fun, face muscle changing, belly moving - just plain yummy "help me forget the yuck that comes with life!"

We think of people who make us laugh. Our class clown (Yes you Mr. Webb). Maybe a HS Speech teacher (Yes you Mr. Franck). Comedians. Late night talk dudes. Move = escape. Laughter to get away, if only periodically, from same ole same ole.

Remember Gomer's Sergeant Carter and his "MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT"? Gyall-lee I do.

Tears, oh man.

My very worn leather comfy chair literally has tear stains on it. Those from both laughter, and from sadness. Of course the laughter 'move' is better... but the 'sad' moves are necessary 'evils' to remind us of good, past times. Of happiness insteada sadness. "I'm sorry" kinda tears. Tears, in a way, are out of body experiences. Outta control sometimes. Just shoot me, I think tears are an extremely healthy thing.

"In the winter, I plot and plan. In spring, I move." Henry Rollins

I hate Parkinsons. It decimated my father. Seeking any good - it was that he didn't emote tears (he was hella great with laughter) but - back in that day, men didn't show emotions - so he didn't. At least, Parkinsons afforded him showing emotions. I/we knew they were "in there" the entire time, and sad to think a disease allowed them to finally escape - but it did. I loved/hated seeing my father cry.

I wanna go see "The Leisure Seeker." (Comes out 1/19/2018). It's a movie about a very old couple - Ella (Helen Mirren) and John (Donald Sutherland) Spencer. He, beginning stages of Alzheimer's, and she - terminal cancer.. take their rickety ole 1970-something RV on one last road trip - just as they used to as kids. Ella arranged their plight from the Northeast to Key West - to see Hemmingway's home (John was once a much-beloved English professor who adored Hemminway.) The movie ain't getting that gooda reviews in spite of some treasurable moments - but they say it's a guaranteed cry. I want that. I need that. Crying = move. "If you don't move, you die."

I kinda tire of same ole same ole. Ya needs those cardiac monitor "beeps" to move. I very much enjoy my first "move" of the day, yes, in the bathroom - but not THAT kinda move - it's actually me staring at bedhead in the mirror - lubdub. Picking up, staring at Facebook affords - yes, some crap, but also some fun, and sometimes even sad years.

I reckon we need crap in our lives to make fun/sad so moving.

Push ups, every morning (TEN TIMES), not just now and then, give that chicken fat back to the chicken, and don't be chicken again.

Time to move on.
Let me move you.
Move it on over..
Night moves.
Something in the way she moves.
Well we're movin' on up.
I feel the earth move..

Move............. or die.

My hair is sadly in place, I'm going for a nap. Love, Victurd.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

I'd like to teach the World to sing, in perfect harmony............ You know, like the Esquires..

But it ain't never gonna happen.

Time out though. As one who usedta coach way back in the dinosaur days, calling a time out usually ain't a good thing. It means you need a break from the ugly that happened.

"Stymie halt." My sister, may she rest in peace, teasingly used to say this to her redheaded, frecklefaced "sports with blinders on", brother as lunch was ready and it was time to call "Time Out" on whiffle ball and come in and eat. She knew it drove me nuts, but that's exactly what siblings do, we drive each other nuts. She knew nothing of sports... Well, ok, that's a lie - she was a decent baton twirler.. (Don't get me started on 'good' though, because OH SHE WAS THAT. I spend every day on this Earth wishing it were me instead - for she was WAY a better, more deserving person of this delicious thing called life. With some pretty goofy personal habits, I'll never make it to 90 - but if I do, I still will not have gotten as much out of life as she so wonderfully packed into her 51 years.)

Point is, we need a break. A time out.

Ugly happens in life (watch the news, read a paper, scroll thru Facebook - and this don't touch any added ugly that may be in our own personal lives.)

You deserve a break today, so get up and get away, to..................

A good book. I ain't a reader of books, but can easily sense from those that are - it's therapeutic. The last good book I 'read' wasn't even a book - it was an audiobook that made a five hour drive very pleasurable, woes forgotten, ills stymied. Stymie halt.

A significant other. I ain't really presently got one - but when I do/have had, I remember how wonderful it is to get your mind focused on anything but ugly. There is a magnetism to personal relationship - and God Bless ya if you're lucky enough to be in one. Victor, is this where you get on your soapbox and tell others they dang well better know, understand, appreciate how lucky they are? Guilty your Honor.

Sports. SURE, sports divide, but they are oh such a blessing in getting away from ACA, "the last 8 years", "that was ugly, let's get him out of office", Hillary, emails, Russia, Trump, partisan, 92 comment FB posts that start out semi-nice and usually end with "you ain't fit to live in this country" - guilty, both sides. Patooey. In as much as SOMEBODY has to beat the Patriots, I got away for awhile from all of the above last night. Yum.

Pets. They don't care about the Electoral College. They just wanna train their eyes on you 24/7 in devoting their attention on the hallowed footsteps you/I take. Ok, you're right, that's dogs. Cats don't care about anything other than us sweeping the turds out of the litter box occasionally - and to me, that's their intrigue, their "forget all the ugly, stymie halt" - "come watch me claw, swipe at whateverinthehell it is you've tied onto the end of that string."

Children. Sometimes, I know I know, there are moments - as a parent - you wanna "put 'em back in there" - but even in those moments - world ugly is forgotten. Children are blind to "my side, your side, his/her money, his/her lack thereof, this color, that color, this origin, that origin" - "just get me a popsicle... more juice.. a hot dog.. Cheetos.. cereal in a bowl please, no milk, please." The PLEASE is refreshing. It's nice. It's learned. It's at least 1,087 miles from 'ugly.'

Loss. This is not a suggested method, to lose someone, to get away - it's more a wake up call - but it does, in a very sad way, make us get away. We stand back, slap ourselves for any recent vein-popping ill will - and remember how damn short life is... "don't delve in the ugly." (RIP Gary, I will miss sitting next to you in a lawnchair at the City Park visiting, or The Corner, and I'll miss your awesome astronomy pics, as well as wonderful vids of your grandson throwing for yet another touchdown, and your smile, you did that a lot and it was awesome. Prayers to you and your family.)

Vacation. What's that? I dunno, but I'll Google it and get back to you. Oh wait, scroll above to audiobook "pleasurable, woes forgotten, ills stymied" - oh yeah, I remember taking a vacation once.

Naps, sex, a good dinner out, music, phone call to a friend(ok, a text will work too), exercise, getting that damn spot off the kitchen floor that's been bugging you since it was 87 degrees out, shopping, a bath (ok, long, steamy shower if you prefer), Sudoku, yada.

Victor, THAT, was a mouthful.

Uh huh, it was, and if you're talking about sex, you're a pervert. Hehe.

THE POINT IS, we gotta get away upon occasion. No, change that. Change it too frequently.

Ugly leads to hatred. Hatred leads to high blood pressure, tasting the sole of our shoe, showing our ass, division, riot, destruction. We're all 'on the same team' in life.

Time out.

I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. Victor, it'll never happen.

OK OK, stymie halt then.

Oh yeah, one more suggestion: blog - works for me.

I'm gonna stop now. Uh huh, you're welcome, I realize this has been too long.

After I go though - I'm gonna youtube The Esquires "Get On Up":

Get on up, get on up and get away
Clap your hands
Just a little louder
Stomp your feet
Just a little louder
Come on every body and feel the beat
Come on every body
You're doing it real neat
So come on
Get on up and get away
Girl (or guy)
Get on up and get away.

Love, StymeHaltTurd

Saturday, January 13, 2018

You've got to be kidding....

I did it, and I hate that.

When driving, on the radio, one station I listen to comes on with a 'teaser'... then states "details after traffic and weather", I slap myself, then them, and, if I've arrived at where I was going, I wait thru the damn traffic and weather to hear The Rest of The Story.

Kids. You've got to be kidding... well, you don't. Many don't enjoy children. I had a boss long ago, really enjoyed working for him - was in the airline industry (cargo sales) but he abhorred kids. You'd jump on a plane next to him, sure as heck there'd be a youngster somewhere nearby - and his eyebrows would furrow - and he tossed, turned, grumbled, growled all the while until the wheels touched down.

Just saw a posting where a kiddo was throwing a fit, someone typed "I can't stand kids, how infuriating."

Hey, it's all good - we as a nation as a people can form our own opinions and I don't begrudge no one (Is that a double negative?)

My own granddaughter, age 2 or thereabouts.. would throw a pretty good fit in WallyWorld.. lay down screaming on the floor, I wasn't sure if she was making "tile angels" or what, but it never failed, as I continued walking and JUST started to turn the corner, she allofasudden got all better, camea runnin.

Awhile back, attended the birthday party of a lass maybe three.. her "a few year older brothers" had taken down the balloon decorations, had 'em entrenched in their hands - for awhile they beat the balloons, then they started beating, chasing each other. Smiles, from them, all around. They were having a very, very nice, LOUD time. Some in the room sat on edge - certainly thinking "I just got a manicure, I can't chew, ok, let's get to the presents, pass out the cake/ice cream and be done with it."

I, and I feel many, are weirdos in that I enjoy children, their behavior. In fact, I think, at sometime between bops to each other's heads I said something like "QUIT ACTING YOUR AGE!"

"Childhood means simplicity. Look at the world with the child's eye - it is very beautiful." Kailish Satyarthi

They ain't been brainwashed. As they play, ride, hop, jump, spat, throw an occasional fit, laugh, laugh s'more - they are forming opines, so that they too will be one day old and grumpy like you/me. I vote, enjoy it before they get there.

Penguin Park here in Kansas City is a fav. The surface is rubberized so should there be a fall, yain't gotta grab the mercurochrome. (They still use that stuff?) There are things to climb, ride, slide for about every age up to middle school - and sometimes, you see middle schoolers cajoled in the reality "I ain't ready for this adult stuff.. I still wanna have fun."

Excitedly, the kids run from one ride to the next slide, get in the penguin, jump on a swing, walk the balance beams, climb on the thing that spins 'em round and round to the point when they jump off they walk like Otis from Andy Griffith. All in the name of fun. Light. C'mon, let's go!

With innocence - they go, do. They share, or not.. or one day learn. They get pushed, learn what that feels like, and then either push back or not. Playgrounds are nice little teachers. Kids fall in love with other kids in a split second. They don't judge, stay at arm's length like us old farts. The belief is 'good', until learned, observed otherwise.

You issue the "5 minutes we're going" summons, and to them, at 5, or 6, that's like two entire SpongeBob episodes. When it comes so quickly, sometimes, if you're a wimp like me (and most of us grandparents are) hear the "NO... I CAN'T leave Sidney!" or was it Susan, I forget.... followed by tears.. maybe rebellion.. mean, mean ole looks, so, you follow with:

"We're gonna stop and get ice cream!" always works for me. Once inside, buckled, we roll. "Cherry on top please grandpa?".. "Ok, I'll ask."... "Sorry sir, we're out of cherries." I curse inwardly, they cry for 7 seconds.. we get the ice cream, we roll. Quiet. I hear quiet.

It's a 15, 20 minute trek - and in that time, they've downed an entire cup of ice cream, managed to get close to 60% in their belly (uh huh, on the other 40%..it's ok, they're my grandkids, I ain't gotta wash their clothes) then, they are OUT LIKE A LIGHT. Zonked.

There's not much more pleasing to the eye as a kid who's gone 90mph to the point they drop. The eyes are the beginning tell all. You see it, They feel it. They fight it. Their little bodies takeover, boom, sleep happens.

You drop 'em off, get all the carseats out.. met at the door by mom/dad and "Oh my" after seeing their clothes. You smile, smooch, "bye bye."

In a day or so, before you've got to be somewhere in an hour, you swing by to say a quick "Hello"... CAN YOU TAKE US TO PENGUIN PARK? "Ahhm, well, today I can't" and in a millisecond you go from hero to Cruella Deville." "BUT, Sunday, let's go the The Fun Run (an indoor extravaganza with hella inflatables where they can run, jump, slide, "yes, you can have a drink and some candy", fall quickly in love with a new friend - and we repeat the "5 minutes we're going" allover again.)

Children, I've found, are much more fun that boring adults. Maybe I'm simply an older middle schooler and whilst I've had quite a bit of practice, I tire of this adult gig - so I too, even if for a brief two hour outing, can return to childhood where it's another day, another adventure.

You've got to be kidding. Yes, thankfully, I am, and I very much enjoy it. You?

Love, PapaVicturd

Friday, January 12, 2018

And the dog came in from out of the rain........

A dog can shake roughly 70 percent of the water from its fur in four seconds.

Wiki lends:

"Native Americans were greatly affected by the European colonization of the Americas, which began in 1492."

"December 18, 1865, the Thirteenth Amendment abolished slavery."

"The 19th Amendment (allowing non African American women the right to vote) was signed into legislation on August 18th, 1920."

"The Voting Rights Act prohibiting racial discrimination in voting was signed into law on August 6, 1965."

The dog came in from out of the rain, shook... yet much dirt, wetness, hatred, prejudice, bigotry, remains.

The EEOC, in 2016, received 91,503 charges of discrimination. Race-based discrimination, 35.3%. Disability-Based 30.7%. Sex-Based 29.4%. National Origin-Based 10.8%. Equal Pay Act Violation 1.2%.

The dog came in from out of the rain, shook... yet much dirt, wetness, hatred, prejudice, bigotry, remains.

We are a society far, far from fixed, perfect - and certainly not solely in the workplace - but not fixed in many ways in everyday life. Despite the wonderful work of many a man/woman - we've still got dirt on us.

I am an admitted Democrat. I've admittedly lived, just fine, under Republican administrations, enacted laws, etc. While I personally have been displaced in employment - I do see some good economically happening in our land - far from perfect, but there have been some good results. Too early to tell on the long-term stage.

The dog though... continually coming in out of the rain, demonstrating discrimination, shock, ugly in so many ways.. must go, be impounded. Many, I feel, believe he doesn't bark for us (and you can capitalize US if you prefer.)

Seen a dog catcher? He's certainly off his leash.

Love, we need it, Victurd

** Something tells me I'll probably need to eventually delete this.. that said, please, whether or not you share the same view - if you comment, please do so respectfully, we need that. Thanks **

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Under pressure......

I am, admittedly, the world's worst (sometimes) at noticing things... Once, I glanced up, asked (then) wifey "when did we get that painting?"... "Two years ago."

Same with songs, many things. I've heard Under Pressure for years (came out in 1981) but I had no idea who wrote it, who sang it, yada. It makes sense now that Freddie Mercury, Queen AND David Bowie worked together on it, as, who besides Mercury could pen the lyrics "Mm ba ba de, Um bum ba de, Um bu bum da de" and make it a hit.

Queen is one of my favs, unique, crazy, fun, very good to listen to (my take anyways.) Bowie is a fav too, as I recently asked a buddy who covers the music scene locally "Who are some of the nicest ones in the industry?" I was taken back when, with no hesitation he answered "David Bowie and Mick Jagger." Faith in humanity restored. I ain't sure I could be nice given the popularity/success of those two.


Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure that brings a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da that's okay
It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming Let me out
Pressure on people people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
Okay

They started writing this... Mercury wrote most of it... one site related "about how pressure can destroy lives, but love can be the answer".. before they finished, they got hungry, went for pizza and couldn't remember (the 'riff') or what exactly what they'd written once they returned.. a band member (Taylor) finally did, thus, song created... loved..

Chippin' around kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets ee da de da de
People on streets ee da de da de da de da
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pressure on people people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why, why, why?
Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're breaking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
Give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the (people on streets) edge of the night
And loves (people on streets) dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

Sure, you probably fell asleep reading this blog. Nomme. Simple, wonderful message:

Under pressure? Love.

That "Last dance" theme popped up again. Care to dance, love?

Love, Victurd

Monday, January 08, 2018

School's out...

Now what?

I, quite frankly, wasn't a very good student. It wasn't because I didn't care - it was simply (or difficultly, dependent on your take) not easy to stay attentive. I am pretty sure I was ADHD before they ever defined it, abbreviated it, medicated it.

Thankfully, I'm learning education doesn't end once you're out from behind the desk.

Yesterday, I was on the heels of having worked out three consecutive days, so I asked myself "Go workout, or, go grab a 300 burger from the bowling alley?" (If you've ever been to Liberty, MO and had one, you'd understand the magnetism - simplification of the choice.) Victor, I'm sorry, I find you frequently rationalize to stay away from the gym. Yeah, that too.

Ring. "Retro Bowl, how can I help you?" Can you patch me thru to the snack bar?... "Sure, justa sec Sir"... "Well, I apologize, she's buried back there, would you be OK if I took your order and took it to her?" He took my order ("Ketchup and pickles only please, to eat there")..."Yessir," and he repeated the order, then, he thanked me.

You know kids nowadays.. Millenials.. the sit-on-their-hiney-do-nothings.. I pictured some young fella, scribbling what I'd ordered - me driving to the bowling alley, only to learn he'd had stared at his phone, maybe texted his girlfriend in the meantime, and had neglected to relay my order and that it still laid chickenscratched on a piece of paper on the counter.

"My name is Vic, I had a call in order for here." "Yessir Vic - I know just where it is." Gal grabbed it, handed it to me, and I then gobbled up a yummy, hot, 2 patty burg, complete with, thankfully, ketchup and pickles.

Victor, whatinthehell does this have to do with "School's out?"

Well, it was a Sunday, but that ain't the point.

I finally spied the dude who'd taken my order, inside working the main counter.. early 20-something.. and upon closer inspection he had those ear rings where they make a hole, stretch, and stretch, AND stretch, and then insert those big ole 'dog bone looking' things. "Yuck, eww, oh my gosh, that HAD to hurt" I told myself.

As I was gobbling, I observed, and again, I'm finding I learn way more outside of the classroom than I ever did in it. The 'kid' (who had taken my order) waited on people hand over foot, called numerous 40" to 50" kiddos "Sir" and "Ma'am." Ran here, ran there, fixed this, got that, gave those. I watched for 15 minutes, he was non-stop 'help' to others, and didn't look at his phone one dang time.

It's twue, it's twue, it's reawwy twue........... I am now more attentive than I ever was in school. First, I invisibly slapped myself for being judgmental - for grouping young/millennial with 'bad.' If you've been here before, you know I HATE "we/they", labeling - and I was guilty as sin for doing it myself.

I gave myself a second slap - for the "yuck, eww, OMG" thoughts on the earrings. A "why not" proponent my entire life - forgive me Father, for I slipped, judged. (I'm TRYING Father.. will admit though, I still have a hard time thinking about being 20-something, participating in a liplock with a gal that has a treble hook protruding from her nose. Maybe one day I will fully get there.)

As I ketchuped up the last French fry, devoured the last nibble of bread, ground beef - I put all my trash away and headed to the restroom. The entire way I thought to myself "the owner probably does know, but if she doesn't, this 'kid' was wonderful hire - and she's lucky."

He's lucky too. I dunno if he learned 'nice' at home, sitting behind a school desk, from friends, siblings, role models - but what a wonderful lifetime thing it is to be nice. Congrats 'kid.'

After I peed (yes, I washed) I swung by the counter, eyeballed the young earring dude.. wanted to say something.. hesitated.. then thought "what the heck."

"Hi. You took my order" (Uh oh, had it been me in his 25 yr old shoes I woulda thought "this ole geezer is gonna blast me 'cause they forgot and added mustard or something").. "and I wanted to thank you. I also watched and saw how nice you've been to all the kids and parents here... just wanted to say thanks, and that being 'nice' and helpful is a really good thing."

He was very gracious, then asked "hey, how was your food, everything taste ok?" Were I a rich entrepreneur, I woulda offered this 'kid' a job right then and there, for he's headed to a life of success. Sadly for him I ain't, so "thanks, you're nice" will have to suffice.

The message is, to me, "don't judge you idiot."

Further, you can teach an old ADHD dog new tricks, and that education does not end once school's out.

Love, Victurd

Sunday, January 07, 2018

Been down so long it looks like up to me....

Well, that ain't exactly true. I am up, bummed sure, but still up.

There are them times... when we in KC, gathered, feel kinda like the dude in the MMA cage, down on his back getting pummeled in the head repeatedly - until the ref steps in and spouts "No mas."

Maybe it's causea my shoes I'm still up. I have, upon occasion (close your eyes/ears) bought shoes from Savers, Goodwill, Immaculata, Hillcrest, yada. So, oft times, I guess I have a different view of things - from other's shoes as well.

I'm (still) quite tickled to be a Kansas City Chief's fan.. a Kansas City Royal's fan.. and thankful. WHAT? DIDN'T YOU WATCH THE DAMN GAME?

Well yes, yes I did. And I watched it in a buddy's garage ("The [3 car] Garage Majal" to be exact.) I high-fived, knuckled, cheered, cussed (sorry mom, I did, but only twice)... and.. I had tacos.. soupy beans.. chips.. salsa.. guac... cheese, cheese and more cheese. Folks were donned in their best Chief's attire - some even had leather, LEATHER, Chief's coats.

Over the years the menus/locations/attire have included ribs, burgers, brats, dogs, brisket, Subway, beany weenies, chicken, samwhiches... around a campfire, on a deck, by the pool, living rooms, in Sam's parking lot, man caves, between the stadiums we've loved since 1972, oh, and Victor you can't go without mentioning halter tops when discussing attire.. ahhhh yeah, halter tops.. remember that time that chick changed into hers right there in the right field bleachers? Uh HuH, I, dO, dInD't EfFeCt Me ThOuGh..

This has been a repeated thing over the years (losing, winning, losing, losing, the gatherings). Sure, different folks upon occasion, nearly always the same (teary) results - but I'm (we're, for the most part) loyal.

I'm very glad I ain't a Decatur Staley's fan (first football franchise relocated in 1921, became the Chicago Bears), Oakland/Los Angeles/Oakland/Las Vegas Raider fan... Chicago/St. Louis/Arizona Cardinal fan... LA/St. Louis/LA Ram fan.. Houston/Memphis/Tennessee Oiler/Titan fan.. LA/San Diego/LA Charger fan.. as in "Hey, I'm in San Diego, my phone is dead, can anyone help? Oh, sorry, just remembered their ain't no chargers in San Diego."

Need I (Finley) take us thru the MLB teams where fans still weep?

I've been afforded catching Jan Stenerud's practice kicks on the ole WJC baseball field.. seeing Curley Culp and Jon Gilliam (I think it was) 'play fight' in the basement of the Old Brown Gym - a welding tank fell on Culp's foot. Chiefs reported "Injured foot in practice, Culp won't play this week."

I've been at the Corner Bar when a teammate asked (QB) Pete Beathard (standing at the bar) to get him some peanuts.. Pete did.. teammate said "just throw 'em".. "I'd better not, someone might intercept 'em."

I have a kajillion KC Chief's autographs I know not where they are. I once remember being in a hoard of other 9, 10, 11, 12 years olds, chasing up and down the hlls of WJC, collecting autographs. We ran, hard, to get favs: Buck, Willie, Lenny, EJ, Emmitt, yada. I don't remember who the dude was, but when I approached him after practice he said "Little man, I just signed for you right down there" (and pointed to where he had.) It was then and there I realized "redheaded, freckle face stands out," and mebbe not in a good way!

I've driven to Maryville, MO with buddies to rent a motel room to watch Monday Night Football when it was blacked out here in KC.

I've been so cold at Arrowhead I paid $6 for a cup of hot chocolate. I've split the $2 fee to park in a neighbor's yard next to Municipal Stadium to watch our Chiefs.

Royals, don't get me started. Ok, get me started. I spent eons of time on the old 2"x12" planks in the right field bleachers, diving for batting practice homers.. years later (sorry mom) carrying a cooler in to set between my buddies.. hollered at whomever was playing right field for the opponent, I remember chastising "The Hawk" - even though we loved him when he was on our team.

I saw "Say Hey", Hammerin' Hank, Rose, Bench, Bonds, Fisk, Carew, Reggie, Catfish, Yaz, yada in 1973, showing off our new stadium to the World at the All Star game.

I'm so old I remember the Chief's parade. Tried to catch a bus to the Royals 2015 parade, after four hours of waiting, gave up. Will NEVER forget the Royal's 1985 parade though.. it was, in a line, a cop, my buddy, me, another buddy, and some dudes we didn't know. Confetti ruled the world. Allofasudden, one of the dudes we didn't know, unzipped, and.. and yes, he did.. he peed.. with raised eyebrows, we turned to the cop.. "Captain said, anything short of murder, let it go."

Uh huh, been thru (more than) a few losses. 4,430 to be exact. (Royals 3,784 wins, 4,015 losses; Chiefs 457 wins, 415 losses.)

We ain't even mentioned Warpaint, Toma, Mr. K, Mr. Hunt, Buck, that dude with the arrows in his hat - yada.

I could be in a really big town that ain't gotta NFL franchise (Portland, San Antonio, and now Oakland, San Diego...) Or, ya never hear "Play Ball", skip work for opening day, get involved in a pennant chase in Indy, Charlotte, Portland, Sacramento, Orlando, yada.

Had I invested every penny I've ever spent on the Chiefs/Royals into my 401K.. tickets, parking, pop, beer, food, shirts, hats, gloves, bigscreens, gas, travel- planes/trains/cars, yada - I'd prolly be a millionaire. Don't care, wouldn't trade it.

Cheer up Kansas City - thankfully, the end ain't near.

I've told this one before, don't care - as I've said, we old people repeat things. Opening day, 1968. The Mets. They'd been thru seasons with loss totals of 120, 111, 109, 112, 95 and 101. Right after the very first pitch, fan in right field unfurls this banner "WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!"

Many across our land, ain't gotta next year. The good Lord (and Glass/Hunt) willing, we in Kansas City do.

Love, Victurd

Friday, January 05, 2018

Woke up, fell outta bed, dragged the comb across my head.....

I dunno about you, but for me, that first peek at the mirror in the morning is scary. I sleep on my side, so I have one side of hair completely untouched, and then the other side, looks like a bird's nest that has fallen to the street and been smashed 27 times by cars. Hehe.

Well, this morning, after I scared myself, I racked my brain on something to write. Smile came to fore, but then I peeked back and realized I just did that a bit ago. As I was peeking thru old posts, I came across the below. It was written by a terminally ill little girl in a NYC hospital bed.

I'd posted it in 2011, so apologies, kinda, for the repeat - but it really moved me then, and after rereading this morning - moved me again. She gets it. I love her. I love you. Happy day, Victor


SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.



Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask “How are you?” Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You'd better slow down - Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.



Ever told your child, “We'll do it tomorrow?” And in your haste, not see
his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die cause you never had time to call
and say,'Hi'?

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last..


When you run so fast to get somewhere you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift.... thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

Thursday, January 04, 2018

WOOHOO!

1. Used to express sudden or exuberant joy, happiness, excitement, approval or delight..

Synonyms: Hooray, yay, yahoo, yippee

Related terms: Whoopee... woot w00t

When I think of WOOHOO, Richard Morgan Fliehr comes to mind. Know him? Sure ya do, "Rick Flair", Wiki calls "Widely regarded as the greatest wrestler of all time and the best American performer of the 1980's...

Popular for his in-ring antics (including rulebreaking... "the dirtiest player in the game") he would strut and strut shouting "Woooooooo!", and sometimes WOOHOOOOOO!... Understand his inspiration was from Jery Lee Lewis's "Great Balls of Fire."

Another bird that comes to mind is Homer, as in Simpson. It is used when he's happy and often followed by "D'ho!" "Woohoo" is my SECOND favorite Homer line, followed closely behind "THE BOY DID IT!".. hehe.. As the roulette wheel spins around, Homer exclaims "D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! WOO-HOO!"

This probably won't make sense, but I love when in body experiences become out of body things... I wish I could find the youtube video (maybe a certain cousin could help!) but one of my favs was when Air Force (I believe it was) faked an injury late in the game to 'illegally' stop the clock, inciting, upsetting Wyoming Coach Dave Christensen to the point he went on a Rick Flair rant that included a (wonderfully) ridiculously loud "WOOOOO!"....

Quite frankly, this ain't too exciting a time of year. Christmas is over, the ball has dropped, bank accounts emptied, the reality of scraping ice, driving in snow, FREEZING, high gas bills has hit. Thus, why not think of WOOOOO,or WOOHOO moments!

Like..

When your child is born.
When your team wins on a last second play.

When the final family at the Christmas gathering finally walks in the door.

When ya ain't gotta go to work for a week... the plane lifts off the ground.. the sound of the wheels being stowed away in the fuselage...

Driving in your car, no one with you, your favorite song comes on. If the windows are up, you crank it. If you're over 60-something and your windows are down, you don't care, you crank it. It makes for S-eatin' grins when you get to the intersection and some snotnose pulls up right beside you. WOOOHOOOO!

When you see a really good, nice thing happen to a friend, loved one that is oh so "WOOHOO" deserving.

Sex. I'm sorry I'm not sorry I said that. Is there but a better WOOOHOO? Shame on you though for thinking of Rick Flair and his wife. Or... Marge/Homer, you pervert!

WOOHOO, within a group of friends, comes for no particular reason other than "I couldn't think of a place I'd rather be, and I am beyond delighted to be with you right here, right now."

WOOHOO is being a young punk, seeing Farrah, Goldie, Cher, Raquel, Bridget, Sophia, yada on the bigscreen. Certain you female piggies have/had your WOOHOO favs as well.

Payday WOOHOO...

School's out, woohoo.

Blackjack.

Seven, winner winner winner.

$20 on a $1 scratch off.... WOOHOO!

I'm a simpleton.. have some baby woohoo's I enjoy. The newspaper hitting the sidewalk. Seeing grandkid #1, 2 or 3 when I walk in the door. Hearing grandkid #3 (16 months old) press her lips together, blow, making a kinda-fartlike pphhhffftt noise, KNOWING she'd be a personal fav of my (RIP) former Mother Inlaw Rose Marie. Rose Marie, in and of herself, was a WOOHOO kinda person. Pics of any friend's grandkids on Facebook.

I do also believe there are internal woohoo's.... seeing a flashmob unfold... reading the one-liner of a friend and in a millesecond remembering/knowing what their sense of humor is like... Discovering "whew, it wasn't a shart." Lasagna outta the oven. Classic movies one has enjoyed again and again. When a superior that 'doesn't make mistakes', makes one, and is forced to admit it. Hehe, I likes that one. No wait, I LOVE that one.... Caller ID popping up indicating a good friend, loved one, fabulous customer, beloved vendor.

And... the woohoo's produced when thinking of fun, wonderful things from yesteryear. Forgive me for thinking of, remembering the past. Not, WOOHOO!

Life, the woohoo's within, be pretty damn good.

WOOHOO!

Love, Victurd

Wednesday, January 03, 2018

Tracks of my fears....

Andy Reid's pat answer is "It's how we roll."

How do you roll?

Do you live the streetcar pace of life? No desire to set speed records, get off course - same ole same ole works every day? I will admit, I love those 'Lazy River' circular water attraction 'rides' where you go round, and round, and round - and it's seemingly effortless.

Slot car kinda life? You want limits (the tracks) but, you periodically press that button, stoke it up, pass everyone at breakneck speed due to need? When the thrill is past, you can return to the regular ole regular pace, knowing you've got that thrill button in your back pocket - any time you wanna......

Rollercoaster kinda life to your liking? A thrill a minute? No worries about a steel girder taking your head off around the next corner? Take me life, take me fast, take me up, take me down - make me spin, make me dizzy - I wanna suckup every little bitta thrill this life has to offer. Nomme. Incontinence.

I've always been intrigued with those trucks the railroad owns - you know, they have the capability to put the wheels down - ride the tracks, in someone elses control - or, raise 'em up, offroad baby, let's go! As I age, this mode of transport is kinda to my liking - the steadiness of same ole same ole, with the capability of the youthful "you only go round once" offroad pleasure, fun.

Then, we have those that always drive the car themselves - brake rapidly when it goes from 55mph down to 45mph - set the cruise either at the speed limit - or, a mile or two under. Never question authority, good citizen is the perk, pleasure, life quest.

The tailgater. When I think of tailgaters, the angry emoji always comes to fore. Slow down, ya move to fast, you got to make the morning last, just kicking down the cobble stones, looking for fun and feeling groovy. Who is the tailgater? I dunno, so I Googled. Google tells us "they always have the emergency supplies... buy in bulk (showed a person with 12 plastic grocery sacks on each arm).. snack dad/mom... parking wizard... everyone's handyman... do sports harder than everyone else.. grill master.. Well, I admit I've always associated negative conotations with tailgaters.. I always surmised male tailgaters as being henpecked, thus, their release/get back.. I usedta slow down when one was breathing down my neck.. today, with all the road rage, don't think that's the thing to do. I'll suffice in saying "not my chosen way.. but, understand it works for many."

We've all witnessed the crotchrockets in life... rolling along on Interstate around the speed limit, you hear that roar, you look in the rear view mirror - paaazooooommmm, allofasudden, they're around you, past you, and soon, outta sight. Nomme. Life expectancy surely wouldn't be so great.

Or, I've got a couple buddies with private pilot licenses, as well as a couple buddies who fly for an airline.. Wow.. I certainly, albeit sometimes with white knuckles, enjoy flying - getting there even faster than the crotchrockets of life would be nice - but I ain't got the watoosies to be in control of that myself.

Of course we've got our own modes... walking, running. At 65, I'm not real fond of the hills, the uneven sidewalks, the temps, but back in the day I certainly enjoyed the scenic wonder of walking, running. There's not much of a feel equal to the great outdoors. I have two buddies (one just older, other, just younger) that walk 2 miles every morning no matter the brutality of the temperature extremes. I hate 'em, they're both skinny and can look down and see their toes without a belly getting in their way. Another gal friend, a few years younger, same. Daily walks. Envious. I know I know I could, the self discipline has always blocked my doorway. Gimme treadmill, gimme elliptical.

Boat people. Motor variety, wind/sail variety. Yum. I don't know anyone that actually lives on a boat - but I know many that periodically 'collect' endorphins via these watertop means. Yep, canoe, kayak folks too. Those I can/do do. Never owned a boat though, reckon I don't trust me, my mechanical inability to keep those kinda things up to snuff.

Message. I wake up daily, lay in bed, check the phone, remind myself what day it is, what time it is, venture thru the "to do's" for the day. Make coffee, go pee, then pass by this computer. All the while thinking "should I blog, and if so, what about?" I dunno how I got here today... but if this does have a message, it's "Ain't life grand?"

We can chose whatever mode, whenever. We don't haveta be like anyone else. We can put things in other's control,or, go offroad.. We can crank it if we wanna. Go slow, take in the scenery. Play atop the water, soar through the clouds. All of the above, none of the above, some of the above, our choice, our life. All the while, *not bemoaning others, their choices. *Editor's note, except for the tailgater.

It's how we roll. How do you roll? Happy rolling to you, love, Victurd.