Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Regular.....

I like regular. “He’s a regular ole feller.”…..

Thanks to the way I eat, I’m ‘regular.’

Waking up daily – those first few moments – virtually always the same – thinking about the day ahead… Making that same trek to the john to wash up – getting ridda yesterday’s gooey… The feel of immersing one’s head in the water – a regular ole good feel.

Hitting up the gas station.. “Annette” is all I know – but she’s a jewel. Same ole regular smile, as if she never has a bad day. That 20 ounce cuppa coffee bought – the great, first regular ole sip. An eye opener. Seeing others on their regular way – we’re lucky – and we probably take it for granted…

The same ole same ole (regular) drive. First time I did it – I looked for markers – places where I could exit should checkenginelight gimme headaches. Now, I don’t even notice the view. Regular old daydreaming. Nice to be driving, think about someone or something nice – and to have a great, regular smile.

Pulling into work lot. Regular ole cars are there. Regular ole smiles/greetings – and bantering back and forth the regular ole “how are you”’s and “whatsup”s…

My regular spot. My butt has molded my regular ole chair into something akin to a sleep number bed. Talking to my regulars – I see the area codes on caller ID, and have a special/goofy greeting for each. With regularity, I will either answer with their name and (“Mid-Atlantic this is Jessica can I help you”) company, or, with “welcome to Pizza Hut, would this be dine in or carry out?” The regulars got my goofy crap down – but regularly I’ll fool one or two a week.

Regular irregular fun emails tossed back and forth to the regular crowd. Regular “hey, what are we doin’ for lunch?” banter…

Regular drive home.. regular ole ideas on what to do for the evening.. regular monitor staring nightly.. and ohhhhhhhhh, that regular ole water bed I love. One last cig staring up at the ceiling, wondering what the regular ole day tomorrow will be like – and remembering special goodies from the day just spent. Cats in regular ole spots. House regularly needing cleaning. Fridge regularly saying “feed me”.

Hope not to take regular for granted. Regular is so, so special. Sorry this was a regular ole blog. Same regular love toya – and may you laugh so hard sometime in this regular day you have pee pee drips… or may you love so hard on this regular ole day it gives your regular ole heartbeat a little bitta irregularity. Love, Victurd.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Hodge podge

How could I have forgotten to give congratulatory wishes to Kendra on her 4 year boobiversary yersterday… I kinda feel a kinship… Ain’t implants wonderful?

On a sad note. Weird day yesterday. My left eye decided it would turn bright red all day. I worked Stevie Wonder-like in the afternoon (wearing shades at my desk - they thought I was nuts.) Forgot to take my GD eyedrops to work, made it worse. Then.. allofasudden I couldn't hear outta my left ear. Bizarre. It's hell getting old. The sad note? I entered the Golden T bowling tournament (6 of us). A GD chicky won. The ONLY chicky that was bowling. Please don't tell nobody. Actually, 'twas the little barkeep. The bar sucks in that they don't pay her an hourly wage - so - close your ears - we were all glad she won. I have an excuse, my equilibrium was screwed up. I even hadta turn to my right just to hear the jukebox. For the record, I finished third. Still not close to giving up my day job and going on Golden T tour, but hell, tis ok to dream ain't it?

Reminder note to self. Self, please walkby mirror before going to work. Your shirt looks like shit. Kinda like it laid in the driveway and six cars rolled over it. Point taken.

Did you hear about the chicky that was smooching her man and she swallowed his dentures whole? Hehe… I got sketchy details, but I understand two days later they came out ‘naturally’. Eww.

Sunday, at my wonderful HyVee breakfast – little old lady (hell Victor, who are you talking to – she was probably within 20 years of you… ok, you’re right… this elderly lady) sits in the booth… moments later, her man comes over.. sits on same side – not across from her. I want that to be me some day. Can you be 70-something and cute? Kudos to you old man/old woman – may your brains forever remain young.

When I get older losing my hair, many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, Birthday greetings bottle of wine. If I'd been out till quarter to three - would you lock the door, will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four…. When I’m sixty-four or seventy-four, will the urge still be there to torch a fart? I hope so. Will you chickies still go to American Royal and stare down 20-somethings in Wranglers? Hope so. Will a kiss be just as passionate at 74? Hope so. Will your significant other still have the urge to come outta leftfield and have a nice lick on your face? Hope so.

I have so many many tools, gadgets and appliances garaged – and throughout the house. Venture to guess maybe a third of ‘em no longer work – and hell, most are less than 20 yrs old. When I’m 74, will my tool still work? Hope so. If it don’t, will I be cast off to the garage? When 74 hits, will either still have the energy to get on top? The want to?

When one is 74, there are so so many more yesterdays to smile at.. but will we think of tomorrow with the same fervor? Hope so. Will we still enjoy flipping off friends in good humor when we’re 74? Hope so.

Will we still get on the floor and play with dogs in our 70’s? Hope so. If we get on floor to play with dogs, will we make it back up Ok? Will we still be able to skip at age 70-something? Jump rope? Recite our names? Will the urge still be there to pee one’s initials in the snow? Is there a front and back to Depends?

Will it be a happy timea life and the happy tears will still flow? Will our rock still be entitled Classic? Will the Beatles be on the History Channel?

Gravity has a way of trying to get our bodies into the ground. If ya look down and around, shit just ain’t quite as high up as it usedta be. Let’s resist. Let’s live. Let’s fight. Let’s love. Let’s smile. Let’s laugh. Let’s havea blast. Let’s not forget 74 sneaks up on us. Fight gravity, enjoy the ride – live life. Happy happy. Love, Victurd

Sunday, February 25, 2007

You're here for a good time, not a long time...

That's all. Saw that quote and fell in love with it. I try to live it - hopin' you do too. Forward this to 27 people in the next four minutes or your nuts will be shredded up in a meat grinder. Happy Sunday, Victurd.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Weird... it takes a blog about pussy to draw comments..

You friggin perverts (said with love). I rack my brain trying to think of what to write that would interest any that may happen by... I write, and I think "this'll friggin do it" - and nada.... I 'study' some aspect of life, go to multiple websites and record what I've gathered... come back.. type my little report... and nada..

But ya write about pussy once, and lo and behold the comments, they comea flowin'.
You friggin' perverts... Ok, so you opened the subject, we might as well talk about it. For safe measure, let's however refer to 'that' as 'her' hence forward. And, insteada, ______, let's refer to 'him' instead.

It's generally perceived all 'him' thinks about is 'her'. 'Him' thinks "she uses 'her' to control 'his' actions/behaviorsand 'that'. 'Her' thinks "that's all 'him' thinks about" so perhaps it is a 'thing of leverage'.

There's little more precious than 'him' and 'her' - and it certainly helps make this world go 'round. For it to work, it can't be always 'him' initiating... Victor, when you say that, it kinda sounds like you are kissing and telling. Are you? I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate one's self...... 'Him' thinks it's so wonderful when 'her' does - and the schools of thought from each of the shoes appear to be "well... he's been decent... I DO kinda enjoy being with 'him', and it seems to mean so much to 'him' - this could set the tone for a nice day."
'Him', on the other hand, is more of a simpleton, and when 'her' initiates - the only thing going over his brain waves is "fucking A Ray." Sorry... one man's opine, but me thinks it's shared by many 'him's.

It's said, "what happens outsidea the bedroom SO much controls what happens insidea the bedroom." I've found this to be very true... Many many things get in the way... kids... works... lacka sleep... exhaustion... tiff's.... GD kids staying up too GD late... money worries... tomorrow worries... today worries... yesterday worries... worries about friends... loved ones... et al. I find all that to be cool and understandable - 'cause none of it (ceptin' the tiffs) relates to 'him' and 'her'.

I've always believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the basic perceived good of mankind. Naive, I think some folks call it. Close your ears, I don't think 'spark' has to die. In fact, me thinks it can be enhanced... Of for sure for sure in the initial phase of 'doinking' relationships - it is hard to match the excitement, the wonder, the "oh baby oh baby" of it all. Naively, again, I don't think that spark has to die. Call me an idiot. Call me "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment" <-- that's how Webster defined naively.

Me thinks 'him' and 'her' frequently get distracted by 'that'. 'That' could entail a multitude of crap... such as... after so many years together "didn't we just do that the last weeka January?"... I saw my co-workers paycheck, it was like 20% over what I make - and you think I'm in the mood to screw?.... We just made the house payment... we're officially broke, and the car payment is due in two days, and neither of us get paid for 13 days.... and you have the gall to think about screwing?...

Also as one ages... it's "GD my shoulder hurts tonight"... "Planting those azaleas really did a number on my back.. I don't think I'll be back to true form for 3-4 days."... or maybe even, "Honey, did you remember to call in my prescription for Levitra?".... (Enter the female control factor here:) "Oh shit.. I'm sorry, I DID forget... but I'll get them tomorrow on my way home from work" thus comfortably putting off 'him'/'her' for a night.

Actually, I'm kinda glad I didn't marry the first girl I doinked.. and would always wonder "what if"?... Having said that.. me thinks somea the problem with 'him'/'her' is likes/dislike/AND COMMUNICATION.. We know all the hell about our 401K, our kid's teacher and her expectations, the company employee manual, and we've memorized backwards and forwards the Little League Rule Book, but when it comes to two human beings talking about doinking (the crude definition for the most wonderful thing on the planet).. NO, we can't talk about THAT... THAT'S crude!... How can we go to church Sunday knowing what we talked about and what you wanted to do Thursday night? You weirdo..

You wanna put WHAT WHERE?... OUTSIDE?... WHILE THE KIDS ARE AWAKE?.. When we're at your PARENT'S HOUSE next week?.. NO, that's "exit only".... GD Herkimer, we're 50-something, what you've recommended is for 20-something snotnoses - I'd be ashamed...
Ya see wonderul relationships... and I guess it does makeya wonder... "what's the secret?"... Hoping not to border the edge of "kissing and telling" I've been in wonderful relationships... but I too have been in troublesome ones.. Funny, when a relationship seems to be in the troublesome stage - I don't think any of it is related to the 'him'/'her' portion. I could be wrong, just the view from my size 10's...

In closing, howinthehell do you wrap all that crap up? You don't... That's the beautiful part... It is to each, and to each 'him'/'her' special, unique, and hopefully wonderful... For many, it works. For some, it works forever. For some, it's fleeting. For some, it's never right. For others, 'him' wonders what that other 'her' would be like to be with, and vicea versa. That one always got me. Simplification tells one "round peg, round hole." How could another be better? Enhance whatya got. Make it wonderful. Communicate. Set aside time.. Verbally tell the other "you're special." Victor, you act like you're a GD expert. Don't you remember yesterday? And today? Ahm, actually I do. But ain't it ok to dream about 'him'/'her' and tomorrows?

Ya do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about. Or, perhaps borrowing from an earlier blog "I am so so very glad I was introduced to pussy. I simply can't imagine a life without pussy. Oh, wait..... ahh nevermind..".. 'Him'/'Her' makes the world go round. Here's hopin' we each have the kutzpah, brains, composure, communication skills, and the right partner to make it right.. and hopefully, forever.

Little diddy, 'bout Jack and Diane... two American kids doin' the best they can... Love, Victurd.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Allee allee in free.....

C'mon you turdbirds. Please, let this blog be about you. We are 'quilts' of our past. Who are the impactive people from your past that make you who you are today.. If you can't think of non-parental folks - then by all means fill us in on your folks...

Don't haveta name names... Mr. C or Ms. R will work - or Leo or Beatrice... but please describe the situation of how you were together... and why they've made an impact on how you think/feel/handle life out today. And, just for grins - have you ever told them how they've impacted you and what they've meant to you?

Loveya, and don't be no wallflower!
Victurd

BREAKING NEWS!!!! SPOTTED IN TOPEKA, KS:

Learned from Ms. Rae SHE SAW A ROBIN YESTERDAY!

Life, it be good.

SEVEN days until the Kansas City Royals first Spring Training game…

SIXTEEN days until Daylight Savings.

TWENTYSIX DAYS until SPRING!

THIRTYEIGHT DAYS until MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL BEGINS!

ONEHUNDREDEIGHTEEN DAYS until SUMMER (YUMMY!)

TWOHUNDREDTHIRTYTWO days until my birthday! (36x32 slacks, XL shirts, anything with “MU” on it, Miller Lite, Temptations CD’s)

THREEHUNDREDSIX more shopping days until Christmas (38x32 slacks -> hell, they say ya gain 7 lbs between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a dartboard with Bill Self or Mark Mangino’s picture on it - I would probably prefer Mangino - might be easier to hit target, money works as well.)

WHAT???????????????? SNOW FORECAST SUNDAY????? Nevermind. Love, Victurd.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

"Write a blog I'll like"...

Shit. Pressure. I dunno quite how to respond to that. Who said it? Doesn't matter. They, I hear, wanna remain incognito.

Ok, we've come to terms on this blog crap - and it seems black and white - just like life. So I forget, is black good or is white good? And... I think you know my answer on that. I'm old enough to remember "colored men's restroom", "white men's restroom" - so, insteada black and white, let's switch to "good and bad". (Or, we could use happy and sad.)

As I write this crap - I'd love for your brain (especially you no commenting sum'bitches <- sorry, it was the three beers I had tonight!) to think of "good" in your life... earlier in your life... and THOSE WHO IMPACTED WHO YOU ARE TODAY!

I loved school.. Damn near everything about it. I loved competition, teamwork and socializing. I loved when I moved to Liberty in 4th grade, and Leroy Peters was nice enough to greet me at recess and offer a piece of blue bubble gum... Funny the things one remembers. Oh how that silly sticka gum made my transition to a new town bearable.

I remember all the damn boy phone calls my sister usedta get. GD if they only knew her like I knew her (I thought at the time) they'd NEVER call. She would tease, make fun, laugh at me - etc - and I loved her like crazy. I've mentioned Sanford has been my best friend throughout life - and that's basically true - but from my age 19, until my sister passed when I was 47, withouta doubt she was my best friend. I could honestly cry now. THE BEST. Lucky and blessed I am. Not a day goes by I don't think of her - or not see that wonderful wonderful smile that adorned her face. I was the luckiest guy on the planet to have been her brother.

Mr. Karston (I think was his name)... 7th grade science. The first GD "D" I ever received in my life. Ohhh did that teach me a lesson though... I learned "life ain't about skating...it's about buckling down and gettin' stuff takin' care of... and I hadn't." Thanks Mr. Karston, you cocksucker (but said with love.)

Rod White. PE, 8th grade. You taught me sir, that it's very very cool for old farts to enjoy working with young punks. That's a lesson I've never forgotten - and I truly hold you in the highest esteem. You encouraged us all to be the best we could be - and it wasn't just "preaching" - you observed and followed through. Honest to goodness, I'd love to contact you today and tell you how important you were in my life.

Grundy. Was there anyone better? I know there is a gal or two whom I went to high school with that occasionally reads this - and lemme just tell it straight - from like a chicky's shoes - Grundy was drop dead gorgeous, 6'4" tall, built like a supreme "V", and just cool as hell. Well, to us guys - we worshipped the ground he walked on. Grundy was PE teacher, basketball/football coach turned Vice Principal. When Grundy said "jump" we literally did without question. Close your ears - Grundy taught me "calm" - and I thank him for it. I saw time after time of confrontation - and he met each and every one with a calmness that told me (and everyone around) "hey... don't get exicited... we can handle this without fisticuffs... without terse words being tossed... and still maintain the respect of one another." I had the privelege of later teaching under Grundy when he was a Junior High Principal - and in a "non-ass-kissing kinda way" - I shared my feelings of his impact on me with him.

Mr. Nail. Ok, so he was different. Some didn't like him - some did. He was a History Teacher/preacher, only had like three fingers on one hand... but I'll never forget his Indian dance he usedta do during class in High School - complete with the outfit/headress and all.. Mr. Nail taught me "hey... it's Ok to act a little insane upon occasion... who cares what other's think... if it feels good to you... go for it." Thanks Mr. Nail.

Tommy Edwards. I think Tommy made it thru 7th grade. He'd worked for the City for quite a few years when he was made my supervisor at the Park Department. Tom, since his education was interrupted (and I know not why) could not write or spell very well - and that was pretty evident to us kids... However, he taught me the "in's and out's of life" - what kinda behavior to use when - and basically, how to get along with fellow mankind. What Tommy lacked in education - he so so much made up for it in propelling kids my age in the right direction - to make good choices - and his disciplinary skills were fast, to the point, and right. I went to Tom's funeral a few years back and cried my head off. There's a large chunka Tom in me - and I'm so happy for that. He was a great boss, a great father, a wonderful hubby, and one supreme man. Thanks Tommy.

This friend who said "write a blog I'll like" has told me before she has friends she'd die "twice over" fighting for. Those folks above - same.

PLEASE ENTER COMMENTS HERE!~ WHO, in your life, has been impactive? In what kinda scenerio was it? Would you take a moment to share what bits and pieces of your predessesors that have given you the makeup of the person you are today? I think we all know parents - that' a gimme... Hell, I could write for days on my parents... lemme hear about who has influenced your thinking, your decision making skills, your parenting, the way you handle every day life. We all 'steal' a bit of those before us... I'd love to learn - and even hear names I have no idea who they are... and if nothing else... it's an opportunity to thank that person - even if they may never see this.

I am thankful for so many in my life... but the ones above standout... Who stood out for you?

Loveya, Victurd

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

For love of the pussy.....

Honestly. Do you really think I'm that crude? We're talking cats.

I have a friend who doesn't really care hearing anything about my cats... In fact, she's allergic to cats. Each and every time we banter "crap" back and forth, she threatens to come stick a firecracker up the booty of onea my cats.... Aware this upsets me, I threaten her back, so she upgrades her threat to a cherry bomb.

I DO LOVE DOGS - they've just all died out on me. Not that long ago, I had 3 dogs, 4 cats. Lotta poop. One by one they've gone to animal heaven - and I'm down to two cats. Victor, I'm skipping this blog, I hate cats and there's nothing you can say that would change my mind. Ok, fair enough - kiss my ass - and stick the firecracker that's there in it in your mouth wouldya?

How couldya hate Jackson? He's a Maine Coon (without papers, be for real, got him from pound)... I dareya to look up Maine Coon cats on Google. They're awesome. The "Gentle Giant" they are deemed. With their longhair, they look puffy, fat, but they ain't. "I hate longhair cats with all that shedding." KMA, nothing 3 minutes with the Bissel can't handle.

Jackson talks. He does, I ain't shittin'. In the morning, there ain't no gettin' outta the house until he's fed. If I shower first, he's there at the bathroom door when I open it. "Rrrrreaoowww" he says with a slight offset turn of his head. Which is feline for "feed me damnit." "RRRRREAOOWWW" is "feed me NOW damnit." Whatever Jackson wants -- Jackson gets.

Jackson sleeps with me. I try not to get in his way. In fact, he sleeps about 16 hours a day. If I pet him he purrs... If he ain't in the mood for petting, he swipes. When he swipes, he sometimes draws blood. Don't believe me, checkout my hands sometime. If I get to his body with my hand before I get swiped - he then paws me - and he keeps his claws in... as if to say "hey, I know you're cool and you're just loving me." He loves shoestrings, and he dares to fit in any size box you bring home. Once went to Branson, came home, suitcase on bed... he loved it so much, didn't have the heart to move it... for like six months. KMA, it's my house, my life, my cat!

Figaro, different story. He's a tabby I guess... Has a cinammon swirl on either side of his belly.. He's crosseyed - and reminds me of those old electronic kid's football games - he runs into something, gets temporarily bumped backwards, and then continues forward. Figgy terrorizes Jackson. Jackson eventually gets up and scoots. Figgy knows when my car pulls in, and he's like a damn dog there at the front door to greet me... Figgy could probably stand to have lipo-dissolve done on him. He's inches from dragging the floor.

I was like you...... until I was introduced to cats. Now I'm thankful I was. Maybe you'd have to be here - just do me a favor - insteada the pat "I hate cats" - look around at who has 'em. Most of us cat owners are not criminals. Most are pretty laid back individuals. Not asking that you go out and buy some pussy - just that you maybe keep an open mind about cat-lovers and their love.

I am so so very glad I was introduced to pussy. I simply can't imagine a life without pussy. Oh, wait..... ahh nevermind... Love, Victurd.

The 'nose' have it... at the ol' factory

Stench. Reek. Aroma. Odor. Smell. Fragrance. Scent. All ‘xplain (Lucy) the world of the nose. (Hell, noses themselves could be a blog for another day… Bent ones, long ones, tiny ones, one’s with indentations, hairy ones, hook, banana, flat… the other day I played blackjack with this old man – his nostrils were sooooo big.. I think he coulda kept his chips in there. Do nostrils grow as we age? GD I can’t wait!)

Normally the last listed of the five senses: See, hear, taste, touch – smell. Wonder why? Smell is fun, or can be. Seems there ain’t much middle ground – smells are either pleasant (vanilla) or putrid (this guy on our basketball team in HS.. that mother dubber could literally CLEAR the gym. Proud. He was proud of this ‘ability’ as well.)

Popcorn is a fun odor. It’s an anticipation aroma. Like – hurry. Want some. Gimme gimme…. Oh Christmas tree is nice.. the real ones. Ever go to a Christmas tree farm – cut, drag, load onea them suckers in your car? Delightful (ceptin for the needles that dry up – can’t be vacuumed, and will stick you for the next seven years.)

Of course flowers.. Damn daddy – ever been to Powell Gardens? Aroma utopia. Ahm, then there are livestock smells. Patooey. I don’t think them fuggers are actually saying “mooo”… I think they’re saying “moooooove.” Splat. “Moooooove”. How come cow poop is always runny? Hehe. Are they ever regular?

Howabout a tray of cookies fresh outta the oven? Onea granny’s apple pies? My granny usedta put pies on the old heater thingy in the living room. A brand of 1950’s incense I guess. Ahm, they also used pre-Lysol spray – as in wooden matches in the bathroom. The noise at dinner time really bugged grandpa – so he took off his hearing aid to eat. Problem was, he thought since he couldn’t hear his farts – we couldn’t either. Oh to be nine and laughing like crazy.

As some have observed – I got divorced – and yes – the dating thing again. How crazy is that at age 50-something? Well, I wish I wasa moth. That’d be hella easier. You see, the female moth emits a “pheromone” to entice the male moth – the odor travels for several kilometers. Wouldn’t that be easier? Think of how much less one would haveta spend on drinks… dinner… movies… “Hey baby, you’re kinda cute… wanna spray at me?”..

BO. Oh my. Is it so damn hard to bathe? We hada chicky where I work (she’s long gone, please don’t fire me boss for writing about this.) Anyways, I think she bathed every other week. She could get pretty ripe – and she was a leaner. She’d lean down and look at whatever you were looking at on the monitor. Now if this was someone like Kendra (it wasn’t, thus far I ain’t noticed her stinking) – I’d open a Microsoft Word document and type “get the hell outta my cubicle.” And I have done this to Kendra upon occasion. Works. Anyways, this leaner really made life unpleasant here. She not only smelled, she whined. “Clear as mud” was her favorite phrase during training. Or maybe she was talking about her undies, hell I dunno.

Coffee. Is there a better aroma in the morning when you’re having trouble getting the hell outta bed? Cedar chips – yummy. Peppermint – uh huh. Cinnamon – yes.

Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankindDead kings, many things I can't defineOccasions, persuasions clutter your mindIncense and peppermints, the color of timeWho cares what games we choose?Little to win but nothin' to loseIncense and peppermints

HEY, thanks for allowing me to a-roma round regular ole life and discuss this. May you enjoy smells. (Aren’t dogs disgusting? Can you imagine walking up to a chick and doing that? Eww.) Happy day, with love, VicTURD.

Monday, February 19, 2007

The strength of one.......

Football comes with eleven... Baseball nine... Basketball five.......

In life, there is but one. Even if we are/were partnered - it seems to me to make it through this difficult thing called life - one basically goes it alone. Partners help. Families help. Great friends help. There is no denying, the power of one though.

One can too represent fear... how do I do this alone... I can't compete with so-and-so... I'll never be as good as whatstheirname... I'm not near as attractive/skinny/smart/perfect as him/her.... how do I live without him/her...

Only one person can run the hurdles... Only one person can take long jumps... Only one person can sprint.... Only one person can reach down and listen to their gut....

One person can handle anything. See Martin Luther King. See Mother Theresa... See Theodore Roosevelt.. See Harriet Beecher Stowe... See Winston Churchill.. Many of the above had poor childhoods... Views differed from society... Were frustrated with society... Thus, many were scorned by society...

There are so many examples - and they leave out the modern day man/woman - and shouldn't. Who knows the trevails you or I go through... Who knows how terribly difficult a simple thing like getting out of bed can be for one... Who knows the stuggles behind the smile... behind the quiet...

It's just GD tough making it in today's world.... and the strength to do so must come from within.. not from your circle of friends... not from loved ones... sure, they help - but it takes you/me....

Trite, but the Little Engine That Could should perhaps frequently be recalled, rehashed, re-witnessed...

We've all had major shit tossed our way... I don't care how perfect your life is now... we all have... We've been let down, let go, left, and tossed aside...

God Bless one. Those of us here today are a testament to this... After writing a recent blog about "me being my best friend" - I've thought a lot about that since, and for a short time I thought "Victor, you dumbass, that was selfish as hell." Sorry, it's true. We can't let ourselves down. Sure, we can get pissed at ourself... fret over actions/behaviors.. but we too have to be on our side.. no matter the outcomes of our decisions/actions/behaviors...

I've mentioned I write sometimes to talk to myself - and this case is perhaps no different. However, if you are struggling, if you are wondering just howinthehell you're gonna make it... you will... because of you... I know I am...

I love ya, and I love me... Victurd..

"Under construction"... ie.. "resurfacing".. simply cause I love the song, the singer, the message

Drippy/sappy... but What a Wonderful World

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Trees turning green (or this time of year, a multitude of colors).. kids playin’ around ‘em… Red roses for many a heart… blooming/living after given..

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Anything greater than a blue sky – smilin’ at me… Puffy clouds…
Brightness – crisp and clear… the secretive dark…

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

Rainbows are a marvel… People watching – the best – especially when it involves friendship, family, niceties… Remember when I carried mail in the depths of KC, KS… Old, white feller trying to steady himself on ladder.. to cut limb very high up. without falling.. Neighbor feller who happened to be black – brings to him one of those long poles with a saw on the end… ya don’t read about stuff like that

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Babies (and GRANDbabies!)grow up to be President, Doctors, Lawyers, protectors of our country, you and me….

Oh yeah

Oh oh yeah…… It is a wonderful world.. Happy day, love Victurd

Sunday, February 18, 2007

My best friend's girl... The Hokey Pokey... kiss and tell....

Damn you gotta dirty mind. Not AT ALL what the title meant!

No, she didn't used to be mine... Last night she insisted, persisted, so I finally did friggin' dance. I begged/pleaded ("Please Sanford... I'm toooo white!") for him to cut in - to no avail. (No, it wasn't the Hokey Pokey... but I kinda wished it was... remember I taught Elementary PE so I'm a bonified professional Hokey Pokey instructor)... But it was a nice lesson - as she then proceeded to fill me in on my rumored ugly behavior in a dying relationship. Wow, I don't remember being that creepy - and it somehow had the aroma of 'justification'... Thankfully, she said "Sanford said "no way that'd be Vic" when I told him what I heard." All I needed to hear. Funny the twists/turns life takes. Ironically, just the other day I founda note I'd written (and stuck in the back pocket of her slacks before she left for work) and it was dated less than two months before she ran off on a Harley with ZZ Top. It said "damn you gotta nice butt." Rectom I was horrible eh? Ok, perhaps I embellish too... It mighta been a Suzuki.

It was a Bill Murray Ground Hog's day night. As anticipated: Temps, Clarence Carter Clarence Carter, Dixie Chicks, Jack and Diane, Ring of Fire, The Big Bopper... bowling... I won one, finished second once.. then the last game we entered other people's names... I ("Tom") finished last... but lo and behold "Vic" won!

I gave Patty (barkeep) crap all night (with crooked mouth) and strategy musta worked - as when I passed her the twenty for the last beer of the night - she slid the Miller Lite my way, as well as the twenty I'd tried to give her. Pardon my French, it's a motherfucker being labeled nice/calm all my life. Remember? I was making $60K as Sonic manager when I was summoned in, demoted to $24K assistant manager - and I learned "You know what your problem is? You are too God-damned nice." I'm thinkin' about working on my hawking (spitting) abilities to disuade these pre-conceived notions - but then again I now have implants, so perhaps not a great idea.

It was also "former inlaw" night... as sister inlaw, nephew in law, another former brother in law, hell even the ex and ZZ were there. Seriously, enjoyed visiting and hugging them each... well, ceptin' the ex... ZZ had a pool cue in hand... and remember, I have implants.

My friend "S", who happens to be black, and I once again rehashed life in Liberty in the 60's. I told "S" had I been black, I think I'd be dead now... and he said had he been white, he'd be dead too! I love that guy, and he's got a killer killer smile that says "wow... I do love this life."

Long about 12:30, as the numbers dwindled "Let's go to The Landing" rang out. No thanks, I'm too (tired, old, poor, don't have legal tags, maybe shouldn't have any more). Damn.... the Landing was packed.

The people that left the one joint, now at the other joint, were again together - yet surrounded by maybe 250 more.. and the biggest difference was you couldn't hear the conversation it was so loud. Eh, most people don't remember what's said after 1am anways. Saw my best friend... and there's a pattern here, as my best friend's girl was off on the dance floor.

A friend related to me a pickup line used recently... "Hey... let's go make out.. my car or yours?"... I thought about trying it just to see the reaction on random choice's face... but then I remembered implants, so I didn't.

It worked. The frown is now upside down. It's 45 degrees. I had a heapin' helpin' of breakfast/cigs and coffee at Perkins. Got wild hair to drive out into country to visit a friend we spoke of last night.. "Gosh, I haven't seen him since my dad's funeral in 2003." Bummer, I wasn't 100% sure which house it was... I was gonna go knock on the one I thought it was, but then I remembered implants. It was a nice thought though. Recommendation: always carry a phone book in your car. Who needs em at home, ya got the freakin' internet. And no, I don't call in advance - I'm a rude mo-fo, and remember, I'm working on defusing the nice/calm image.

The rollercoaster, ya gotta love it. Well, ceptin' that one at Disneyworld that's indoors and completely dark. I'd never get on that bastard again. Something about girders and implants that don't mix well.

If you're too nice, learn to spit. If you already spit on people - I hope you never haveta get implants. Less'n you got small boobies, then I reckon it'd be Ok. Victor, you're nuts. Si, this I know. And nice, and calm, and poor, and horny........ oops. Sorry! Love, Victurd.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Ya do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...

That's what it's all ABOUT! Ok, risking hokey (my plates are expired, Feb/'07)... don't care... gotta gotta get outta the house (We gotta get outta this place... if it's the last thing we EVER do")... yes... going 'bowling'... which, is fancy for putting way too much money in that machine, perhaps just enough money in jukebox (Temps, Dixie Chicks, Thoroughgood, Clarence Carter Clarence Carter, Chantilly Lace [I'm old GD it], Ring of Fire [plz see "I'm old"], Tracy Chapman [damn that moves me], Little diddy 'bout Jack and Diane, etc., etc., etc, and washing it all down with Miller Lite.

It's a repeated evening. The same ole's will be there... We'll repeat same ole shit... ask same ole questions... see same ole laughs... have same ole hugs... watch the "Hillbilly Hearthrob" pickup the best looking chick in the place (A blog for another day)... give Patty (the grumpy exterior/wonderfully warm inside barkeep) shit... burn Georges, Hamiltons, and whoever is on the twenty....

We'll say "NO NO, not another, I gotta get home" and repeat that a time or two... Juuuuuust enough feel good to turn a frown upside down... jusssst enough expanding of energy/brain cells to fall asleep the moment I hit the hay (or water as this case may be.)....

Sad perhaps, that I look forward to that. But I do. I will forget about Maynard's situation/dispostion, whether the damn cats have been fed... the two days worth of work I missed last Wed/Thur piled up on my desk... The "cha-ching" furnace coming on again.... and again... The unfounded fear of "oh shit, what if this eye surgery crap doesn't work"... Future unfounded predictions of "she can't keep her legs together"... Getting the hell away from this monitor/bedroom/house (and God love him - kid). I do love him, but if he's had 3-4 beers, you'd have to be here to understand my hell.

So. Light. And Lite. And night-light. I wish I wasn't so white so I could dance like everyone ain't watching. Ya do the hokey pokey and you turn this mood around - that's what it's all about!

I love you. I love your eyeballs. I love life. We got winners, we got losers, Chain smokers and boozers - And we got yuppies, we got bikers -We got thristy hitchhikers -And the girls next door dress up like movie stars-Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar... (The bar I'm going to "the girls next door dress up like movie stars" MAY BE pushing it a bit... but then I too realize I'm perhaps somewhere on the spectrum between Lyle Lovette and Alec Baldwin (probably closer to Lyle - WHAT WAS JULIA THINKING?!!) - so who am I to talk.

Seeya tomorrow with a smile on my face.... if I ain't doin' the hokey pokey. Love, Victurd

Yucky.......

If there's teeter, there's gotta be totter. Gallant, must have Goofus. Light wouldn't exist without dark. Market highs, market lows. Rollercoasters go up, so they must too come down. Yummy wouldn't be here without yucky.

My yuckies:

Whenever sleep is the first thing on one's mind.
When you realize the bad shit from today is the result of yesterday's actions - and it's too GD late to do anything about it.
When an overbearing person is bearing in on you.
A loss to KU.

Thirty-seven minutes until work... you open the undie drawer and realize the last clean pair is now adorning your son's butt.
A 35 minute drive to work infronta ya... you got 33 minutes... and the gas tank is empty...
Awaiting an email that takes forever and a day to finally arrive.
All the bills are paid, spending money is rationed - and you awake (on a Sunday) to realize the furnace ain't working and it's 42 degrees (inside)...

You have a conversation with one you've seeded - about drugs, life, violence, death, jail, future, depression, 'goals', family - you take a deep breath and think "How in the fuck did all those ideas come from me? They are soooo contrary to my beliefs." Bummer, as in major bummer - followed closely by throwing hands up. Can brains ripen after 21?

I spose I'd better get the hell outta here... A continuing theme I hear from many "keep up your positive, upbeat attitude" and I try. I mostly succeed - but there are the depths... and I suppose like sales... every "no" brings one that much closer to "yes". Thirty-eight friggin consecutive days of Fridgedaire assist in making the first t-shirt day a wonder.

Lips without touch finally touching another's perhaps make the rollercoaster ride more bearable. Life, and our attitudes, are a choice. Sometimes though, no matter the effort - down happens. If you occasionally spin your wheels like I, may there be better traction days ahead.

With thanks to REO: Ridin' the storm out, waitin' for the thaw out...On a full moon night in the Rocky Mountain winter. My wine bottle's low, watching for the snow I've been thinking lately of what I'm missing in the city.
And I'm not missing a thing... Watchin' the full moon crossing the range.. Ridin' the storm out.. Ridin' the storm out. ......... The wind outside is frightening, but it's kinder than the lightning life in the city.... It's a hard life to live but it gives back what you give...

What goes up, must come down. BUT, what goes down, must come UP! Don't fret for me, for I love life so.. all of it. Happy happy, Victurd

Friday, February 16, 2007

Yummy...

Pardon my French, but whadda great fucking word. Can be descriptive of so so many things...

Somea my yummies:

Butter pecan ice cream.
A wonderful, ain't no GD hurry, kiss.
A day off, 75 degrees, and someone to pal around with.
A filled gymnasium with a close, fun, exciting basketball game...
Eyes closed, thinking about family members that are no longer here - and remembering them living, loving life.

A weekend at the Mill.
Old cronies, Miller Lite, and talk of "back in the day" when there were no real 'have to's...
Hugs, platonic.
Hugs, that ain't platonic (prolly shoulda listed this one aheada the other!)
Bases loaded, tie game, 8th or 9th inning, Royal's (or Cardinals there Life After 50) batting on a nice July evening.

The efforts and unifying pinkness of the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
Picking up the phone and hearing a great ole familar voice from yesterday.
Leaving work and wishing co-workers a nice evening, weekend.
The keyboard, when crap comes easily.
Passion, any kind.

A dog's excitment for anything regular.
A cat's "be for real" expression for attempts to get them to do anything irregular.
A CD so perfectly loud it clouds out any worries, stressers, conflict.

Sex (sorry) when it's so much more than physical - it's for the love of the person.
Damn daddy, how do you compete with that one.

Victor, you don't. Sometimes simply hanging it up is yummy. May you have more yummies than yuck in your life. Love, Victurd

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I suck at relationships.........

I didn't necessarily say that - but there is some truth there I spose. I got a nifty email the other day that said something to the effect of what happens in our lives - and that we will be hurt in a relationship - and to remember that feel if you are ending a relationship. Believe me, I've been on both ends - and neither is fun.

Who is the judge at who is, and who isn't good at relationships? Is the divorced person automatically labeled "bad at a relationship"? Well, some might think that, but I wouldn't necessarily concur. Could there be a long term relationship where one (or both) of the parties could suck in a relationship? Sure.

Does it ever happen where two enter a relationship the road becomes "one way" and then onea the parties isn't 100% sure about wanting to go continue - perhaps wants turn around and it's difficult as hell? Sure. And the general recovery time correlates with the length of time the relationship lasted... whether it was a marriage... perhaps the first relationship ever... etc, etc.

What is a relationship - or better yet, is there such-and-sucha time frame where a relationship officially becomes a relationship? Of course engagement... of course marriage... Ya know, I think the word - relationship - simply means different things to different people. Relationship is generally associated with exclusivity - but, some ole liberal shits might not agree there... A relationship is to the two involved - whatever they want it to be.

What I've learned from past relationships: One can only control one's own feelings. This was perhaps the hardest lesson I've ever learned - and I've "learnt it" twice. I've learned there are occasions where I go to GD fast - and in Victurd's defense, generally the other person has too.

I've learned relationships are precious. I've learned the older I get, the more precious they become - and hopefully that coincides with the capability to enjoy the relationship.

I've learned the older I get, the more GD pickier I get. I've learned I sometimes have a hard time entering a relationship because of a fear of losing it.

I've learned I worry about my age - and I continually fight "hurry up" with "just let it happen/hope it happens". I absolutely know there's no forcing a relationship when one of the parties simply ain't in it.

I've learned - today (2/15/07) for instance - it's a whole GD lot better to think about where the relationship will be on 2/16/07 than where the relationship will be in five years, ten years, etc. I've learned, from being on both ends, to simply enjoy today. Life promises us no tomorrow - so there's no sense fretting about tomorrow. Sure, it's nifty to look forward and give hope for tomorrow - and I hope any/all here reading are successful in their wishes for tomorrow.... but again, back to reality, one can only control one's self/emotions/feel today.

The sad realization is - relationships always end. Everything ends. I am so perked to see relationships like Bobby and CJ's - where I simply know it will never end during their lifetime. I see Catom and Drew, and I think how remarkable it is to keep the spark there - when one is in KS, and the other is in VA. Do you have any idea how many have trouble and they live within 20 miles of each other? Hehe.

I see some who've stuggled like me at times... and may we all who have struggled simply learn each and every time. Do I want a relationship? Not yes, but hells yes. Can I force one? Not no but hells no. Will I have another one? I think so. Will I love again - absolutely.

Quite frankly, the best years of my life have been when I was in a relationship - and it's my hope I will live the majority of my time from here on out in a relationship.

Is life/the potential of a good relationship over because of failed marriages or failed relationships? Hell no.

Did you ever consider - if you are out there alone like me - that perhaps the best relationship is yet to come? Yummy to think of eh?

God Bless you all.... May every today be awesome... May you ne'er fret about tomorrow (no matter your situation)... And remember, every relationship has friction - but please try to confine it to the bed! Love, Victurd.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Lucky stars.......... thank you....

Be forwarned, more diary crap!

It's 7 hours after eyeball surgery number two, and I'm typing this without the reading glasses I've become so dependent of the last several years. Onea those "don't you ever take this for granted again" moments. Believe me, I won't. I can 'legally' run again after a week - so this time I have no excuse to not go to the gym! I want nice abs again one more time before I keel!

Have had a very nice day with my son - laughing like we did years ago.... He's coming to my work for three days to help with a temporary assignment - so, again lucky stars.

To my new friend who fed me an awesome dinner last night - thanks... I will continue to not worry about tomorrow, and promise to love every day - and I have been. Thanks big time for your help with that.

I think we've got one more cruel day of winter - then we're on the warmer path to spring - YEAH!

Bless your eyeballs for being here... I'm blessed mine still are too! Happy happpy, and lemme know when you see a robin. Love, Victurd

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Slip sliding away...

Ok, are we almost done with winter? Victor, if you swing back by here to reread this - let's say when you're sixty - and you're still living in Missouri - you'ra dumbass..... k? Four inches last night - no, outta gutter - I'm talking snow.

Left for work an hour early - saw ten to twenty off in ditches. Crossed Missouri River (three lane bridge, all southbound on the side I was on) and I see headlights coming at me. Huh? Uh huh, fugger had spun out, was headed in the wrong direction... I scooched over to left - whew. I feel sorry for him though - I bet he went in his scivvies... REAL skid marks!

Anyways, made it - hope you did too - and that you are warm and happy.

Left eye surgery tomorrow, whoop-ti-doop-ti. Happy Valentines day. Do you have good mems of Valentine's Day? Eh, I do. I'll never forget 4th grade... ya know how you'd buy a box of valentines and they'd all be kinda generic - same size - but there was always one for teacher - and then one or two bigass ones for "special" people. Patty Gross gave me a 'special one' in 4th grade. Shiver me timbers! Actually, I kinda liked makin' my own - my artistic creativity really really sucks - don't care - twas fun to cut 'em up, glue 'em up - make 'em.

Maynard's home. The more things change - the more they stay the same. "At work I just take time, and all through my coffee break timeI say a little prayer for you" (ahm, I guess a prayer to me and a prayer for him!)...

Sorry if this has sounded much like a diary, but I reckon that's whatinthehell it is. Going to see Stomp on 2/28, can't wait. Seen it long ago - a show like none other I've ever seen. Ifya getta chance - I highly recommend it.

If you gotta sweetie, hug 'em/love 'em. Life's like a box of chocolates. Happy happy...... love, Victurd

Sunday, February 11, 2007

What are the "Empty Nest" rules?

I remember a movie not long ago........ "Sometimes they come back"..... I'ma tad worried, think it's gonna happen. Why ain't I excited? Why ain't I happy? Why do I feel like my "teaching" days are over? Call me rotten, but you'd haveta see the view from my shoes to mebbe understand. I ain't excited over this. Someone shoot me something drippy/sappy to turn this attitude around! Love, Victurd.

I searched the world over and thought I'd found true love.....

Prior to the internet, search hada different meaning. For termites, it might be an Easter Egg hunt... punk snotnoses - a scavenger hunt... 20-somethings - would search for the right one for their egg/sperm... 30/40-somethings (roughly half) would search for someone to fool around with, yet still maintain their home/kids/reputation... 50-somethings searched for whatever in the hell happened to the body I usedta have that could be toned... 60's searched for the answer to 24 down... 70's searched the medicine cabinet.. and 80 & up would search for their identity...

Now - hell, we search online for everything. Dates (match.com, matchdoctor.com, myspace, perfectmatch, eHarmony, etc, etc.), history, mortgages, insurance, ancestry, restaurants, phone numbers, the news, soaps, books, music, clothes - damn near anything and everything.

Last year, among the top hobby searches were NFL, MLB, allrecipes, ancestry and Nascar. News: usatoday, cnn, forbes, nytimes and bbc.co.uk.....

To learn we go to mapquest, wikipedia, answers, reference and epinons.

I'm friggin old - last years top searches (top five) were: neopets, cheat code, runescape, naruto, and zillow. Huh? Neopets (boring), cheat code (little shits), runescape (225,000+ were playing online when I went there) and naruto (some ninjalooking Dennis the Menace with a Lisa Simpson haircut.) Zillow was a real estate site (how'd that get in there.)... The top searches were done by KIDS! GD KIDS! Go play in the yard you little shits... try kick the can... whiffle ball... go dig a hole, bury some shit, and then dig it back up next year. GIT URASS OUTTA MOM AND DAD'S HAIR!

Oh.. and sorry to burst your bubble there mom Sally and dad (shit the bed) Fred, but that ain't what the little bastards are really searching. Are you kidding me? Had we had the internet when I was nine it woulda been "show me Elizabeth Montgomery's boobies"... or Raquel Welch, or Goldie Hawn... Farrah Fawcet.. neopets, naruto - yeah right you little perverts... be for real.

Top TV show searches: Dancing with the stars, deal or no deal, days of our lives (wow, lotta sand thru that thing, somethings never change I guess), project runway and Good Morning America.

Top men searches : Harry Potter, Steve Irwin, Rush Limbaugh, Christopher Columbus and Chris Brown... Women: Sara Evans, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Rachel Ray and Scarlett Johansson... GD, once again, learn I'm old.

This site (Cranky.com) indicated the top searches for us "Over 50" types were: Jobs after retirement (you've got to be fucking kidding me), brain builders (huh?), body mass index (what?), Reiki, blogs, arthritis and travel. Ok, I've maybe searched travel. You?

Let's agree to disagree - we're different (thank goodness) and that makes the world go round. Life, it'sa changing. Google it. Ask Jeeves. Yahooooooooooo.

With thanks to Buck Owens: Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin'.. The dog bit your maw, and drug her around... You said she looked pale and thought she was dying... I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound.".... I had six kids and you had eleven - And we had a boy, and they grew like flowers... I wish you'd come back, without you ain't heaven 'Cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours.... Chorus: Where, oh where, are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I SEARCHED the world over, And thought I found true love.You met another and Phht! you were gone...

Tune in next time where the topic will be "I wish I could fucking remember what username and password I used for that, dammit." Like sands thru the hourglass, and applesauce down our colons, so go the days of our lives..... Happy happy, love, Victurd.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I read the news today oh boy.......

I cherish being unpredictible. Sometimes I fail. Virtually every Saturday and Sunday one will find me at the local grocery store, having breakfast (yes, they're damn good, and damn cheap) - and reading the local newspaper. Sometimes I laugh at the stories, sometimes I cry, sometimes I avoid them...

Today - Pizza driver stabbed in Westport. Man approaches girl walking home from Elementary school.. Two women killed in wreck in Leavenworth County... Local Mayor investigating deaths of policeman's wife and stillborn child - over his religious beliefs and no apparent effort to get proper medical help.

Nationally, the female astronaut who was gonna kill another female astronaut for moving in on her man (although it wasn't the man who happens to be the father of her two kids).. Does beckon a new meaning to the line "we have liftoff" though... Anna Nicole and three potential possible fathers to her young son...

Yuck, yuck and more yuck. Oh there was news of a public memorial for the recently deceased Secret Santa.. A little girl 11 honored for taking a ladder to a fire scene so a young man could escape... Thank goodness - good inbetween...

So, I get home and search "newspapers"... Hooks you up to any state, any newspaper you'd wanna see... after some quick browsing -

Lucky... Decatur, AL... This hound was found in a dumpster, his jaw shut with duct tape, his leg partially gnawed off by something... anyways - an APB was put out and offender caught.. Fundraiser after fundraiser for Lucky.. He's doing great, rules the roost at the local vet's office (the vet who started the campaign) and is the headliner of a new calendar highlighting abused animals...

Anchorage, AK.. two reporters out on a quest to find sex, drugs, rock & roll... Takes them awhile - but an hour into their hunt, onea the reporters gets outta the car - so gal jumps in... and it was revealed the going rate is $100 for intercourse, $20-$50 for BJ (depending on how strung out the lady is) - and they generally make $200 to $500 per night.. Another twenty minutes later and they're in possession of $20 worth of crack cocaine.. and then the easy part - flicking their Bics at a Nirvana concert later that night....

Colorado Springs... A father and son have been linked to 26 car break-ins in the Pikes Peak region... The hell happened to "a game of catch?"

Orlando, FL.. Disney characters gone wild... Oh my.. "Beast" actor @ Disney arrested for having child porn.. "doesn't see difference in looking at 8 yr old's naked body and 18 yr old's... Also performs as Goofy... Not the first time- once in 2004 13-year-old girl accused an actor dressed as Tigger the tiger of molesting her at Walt Disney World. ..1995, when a worker who portrayed Pluto was one of seven Disney employees charged in connection with a murder in Osceola County.

Boise, ID.. Local lady undergoes gastric bypass surgery... went from 300 to 161... divorce... emotional changes.. health for the better - Diabetes gone, high BP gone, no knee problems, no more breathing issues... She usedta go up to men and ask them to dance "Hey big boy, wanna dance" - now, it's perceived she wants something futher if she does so...

Evansville, KY police - Latino community trying to break barriers - setup meetings, language lessons - striving to gain a greater understanding from each side....

Cadillac, MI.. Volunteer Grandma Bertha uses quilting to teach letters in local elementary .. Sr Volunteer.. 8 yrs.. 900 squares of material.. .Kindergarten made quilt... "Everybody loves Grandma Bertha," stated Julie Harmon, curriculum secretary. "It’s because she brings a very calming and loving touch. The kids light up when they see her."

Interesting the quilt of our society. Good shit, bad shit, all intertwined. Wouldn't it be nice if for one day - or for one week - there were no murders, robberies, sexual weirdos - and reporters would ALL be forced to write human interest stories? Ah, it'll never happen - but Ok to dream.

Have a happy weekend - and I hope you're on the good sidea the news. Love, Victurd

Friday, February 09, 2007

Windows.....

Our lives revolve around windows... There is the window of time... What's your remaining window? Not worried? Should be - bastard sneaks up on ya... I see me, then I look at the obits - and oft times there ain't a whole lotta years inbetween my age - and the average age in there. Whadda I wanna do 'tween now and then? Lots. Will I? If I constantly remind myself of the window - and the ever closing shade over it.

Life reminds us of the differences in where one lives. 449 Miller in the 1960's meant no window locks. Well, had 'em, never used 'em. The variance of neighborhoods - reflect on how we close/lock our windows at night. Some are wide open, some the little thingy at the top simply flipped over -- some bolted -- and some protected further by bars should an intruder burst the window. Said ain't it.

Window (our lives) decoration. Like clothing - addresses our creative (or not so creative) side... Many choose not to hide anything - and I ain't real sure that's wise - but - many glue on that dark black plastic crap and won't let anyone in... So reckon some kinda median is desired. Zest, dress your windows zesty.. Make 'em adaptable for times when you wanna share with everyone - you wanna stand on the porch and holler "LET THE SUN IN... WOAH OH OH OH LET THE SUN IN"... Then, close the bastards off when ya need a break - go to hell outside world - I'm gonna just be with me tonight.

Of course keep your window clean - and if there are objects in the way of a sunny disposition - life's too short, cut them big boys down - or trim 'em back...

Oh for the 70-degree day when one can open the window to allow nature's breeze to flow through... Heaven to a cat - access to the people world for a dog. Or - slightly cracked on a stormy spring night - mistiness sneaking in...

Finally, we have the Window of communciation - thanks to Mr. Gates. We've progressed from Andy picking up to tell Sarah to ring him up Aunt Bea - to - sending an electronic communication to 42 friends within 3 seconds. Nice. Using windows for touch.

Have fun in life with your window(s)... whether it'sa sunny day and you're lettin' the sunshine in - or, it's a "naughty" night and you've closed it off to the outside... have fun dressing up... have fun today - for tomorrow is around the corner... reach out and touch... Love, Victurd.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A horrific, horrific feeling.....

Driving home from Raytown last night... chills went down my spine... sweat dripped down my forehead.... a dizzyness set in.... I was lost... I was dazed... I was confused... WHAT VICTOR? WHAT WAS IT?

Ahm, I didn't recognize the song on the Classic Rock station I was listening to... How GD old does that make me? If I'm too old for the old stuff...

Do they have a KAARP radio station? Nonea you young punks leave a comment - I'll whack urass with my cane if you do..... Love, Victurd

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

If you like Pina Coladas..........

Victor, you're weird. I know, thanks. Today is reserved for fun crap to say - or little diddies that personally make one smile.. Feel free to add onea your own... I can tell when the comments dry up it's time for me to stop and rethink things - mebbe take a few days off... etc... So, this today quick, maybe goofy. Crap, to me is fun to say.... These won't make sense in a paragraph and you'll be perhaps scratching your head with "huh?".. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?.... And I said to myself, what a wonderful world...

Supercalifragilisticexpealadocious... I fell in to a burnin' ring of fire... I got the motive which is money and the body which is dead (From the Heat of the Night and best imitated by my friend Gene D. Pickle)

Who are those guys?... Well, I faked mine (orgasms) too.... My favorite is the rollercoaster.... Well gyooooollllll-eeeeee... afllac.. My name is....

HEY TEACHER - leave us kids alone.... Juuuuuust a bit outside.... It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... Shrinkage... Soup Nazi... No soup.... Jane, you ignorant slut... No Coke, Pepsi. And now you know, the rest of the story.... You'll shoot your eye out.... I double dog dare you...

Wanna fool around?.... Hi, may I help you?... What about Sony?..... A volkswagon will definately float, but it won't float indefinately... YOU TOOOOO VICTOR!!!!.... And leave the driving to us... A little dab'll doya... Burma shave... Yo Adrian... Stupid is as stupid does...

Whatinthehell... Howinthehell... Whyinthehell.... Look whaddya talk whaddaya talk he's a music man... Play Ball!... Gentlemen (and Dannika) start your engines.... And they're off....... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrre comesssssssssss Wooooooodie.....

Paper or plastic.... I am the greatest... Float like a butterfly... Whatever Lola wants.... I'ma pickin' and I'ma grinnin'.... Where o where are you tonight - why did you leave me here all alone... And that's the way it is.... Ask not what your country can do for you... I have a dream... Elvis has left the building... That's the way - uh huh uh huh - I like it....

HEY.......... Onea my fav songs... ya probably ain't never heard it... HAHA you're stuck! Have a great day........ Oh, it's kinda how life was in the late 60's, early 70's....

People moving out, people moving inWhy, because of the color of their skinRun, run, run but you sure can't hide

An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth Vote for me and I'll set you free
Rap on, sisters, rap on

Well, the only person talkin' 'bout love, my brother is the preacher.. And it seems nobody's interested in learning but the teacher...

Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration Aggravation, humiliation, obligation to our nation Ball of confusion (oh, yeah, yeah) That's what the world is today Woo, hey, hey (let me hear it, let me hear it, let me hear it, say it)

The sale of pills are at an all time high (say it)Young folks walking 'round with their heads in the sky (oh, say it) The cities ablaze in the summer time! And oh, the beat goes on

Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul Shooting rockets to the moon, kids growing up too soon ... Gloria (round and around and around we go)Gloria (where the world's headed nobody knows) Alleluia ([Whoopi] Play Alma, go ahead girl)

Oh, great googalooga, can't you hear me talking to you?Just a ball of confusion Oh yeah, that's what the world is today Oi vay

Fear in the air, tension everywhere Unemployment rising fast, hip hop music's a gas And the only safe place to live is on the Indian Reservation... And the band played on

Eve of destruction, tax deduction, city inspectors, bill collectors Mod clothes in demand, population out of hand, suicide, too many bills Yuppies moving to the hills People all over the world shouting, "End the war!"And the band played

Ball of confusion (that's what the world is today)Ball of confusion (that's what the world is today)Ball of confusion (that's what the world is today) Great googalooga, can't you hear us talking to youSayin'...Ball of confusion

Whew - havea happy day, sorry to be weird, but....... it's me. Love, Victurd

Monday, February 05, 2007

Under the influence......

Dominique, nique, nique s'en allait tout simplementRoutier pauvre et chantantEn tous chemins, en tous lieuxIl ne parle que du bon DieuIl ne parle que du bon Die...

No, that had absolutely no significance - I just kinda felt like saying it (actually SINGING it - but there's a hitch in my vocal getalong - Kendra should be so lucky)...

Maybe it is significant. The Singing Nun was influenced by God... and music... We're all influenced by something... ain't we?

Blessed are the balanced - who juggle all of life's influencers gingerly.

Sad are the addicts who are virtually always under the influence of something - other than themselves.

Why within our building (oh, disclaimer here... this whole blog started long ago after I'd seena chicky on Good Morning America who'd had GMA following her blog for awhile... it'sa good read - and I know this place sucks occasionally... it's dooce.com Anyways - she explains her blog as "I started this website in February 2001. A year later I was fired from my job for this website because I had written stories that included people in my workplace. My advice to you is BE YE NOT SO STUPID. Never write about work on the internet unless your boss knows and sanctions the fact that YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT WORK ON THE INTERNET. If you are the boss, however, please don’t be a bitch and talk with your hands.") - more to within our building in a sec...

Back to the Dooce.com lady. Now, some five years later, not only is she a fulltime stay at home mom - but the ads from her blog have allowed her hubby to quit his job and stay at home too! Whilst wonderful, it too is under the influence - and whilst her writing is so free and wonderful - I know there have to be times where she thinks to herself "this blog sucks... I'm gonna have to go back to the real world... I can't take the pressure here."

Ok, back to where I work... or where you work... or who you work with..... Major influencers: Money. To some it is the only thing. Sure it's nice - and maybe I should spend more time on my son's inheritance versus the sport's page, but it ain't me babe.

Religion. Fine and dandy. Many are under this influence....

The "ain't it awful" influence... You know em... if you've got a spare moment and they comea walkin' your way... it can makeya cringe inside as you just know you're gonna hear about how so-and-so (insert smart-alec imitation here) and such-n-such (adjust voice tone, include facial expressions)... there just ain't no way they can be happy. Or... maybe there is. By shedding their misery off on others, maybe that's the influence in life they need.

The good humor bar. Outwardly, there ain't a thing that can phase these fuckers. Put 'em down, they'll double your entendre... Say something off color, they'll throw a cherry on top... Happy hour? Count me in... Work problems? There's always a solution - and I ain't gonna let this crap get to me. Watch out for this kind. They are usually perilously close to a nervous breakdown, they're financial lives are a mess... and it's guaranteed their fingernails are gnawed. I guess the point here is - if you see someone who you'd loveta put on a pedastol - don't do so - for every tool in the shed has warts of some kind.

Family. This is a cool one. Don't happen much any more - but some are actually influenced by their family. Nice.

Food. Say it ain't so - but you know it is. For some it's all they think about. Pray for them in this battle - for, while it's yes, kinda of their own choosing - can you imagine how greatly they'd like to get outta the battle? It's like any of us - we get stuck in life - and while the answers may be readily apparent to others - the friggin cataracts of life step in and you can't see shit from shinola in digging yourself out.

Mystery. These are interesting people. There's always one or two in the office who no one knows anything in the hell about them. That's the way (uh huh uh huh) they like it (uh huh uh huh.)... More power to 'em. Times I don't want nobody up in my bidness either!

What else did I forget? Hell, we spend half our lives on education - but I'll be the first to admit there ain't anyone where I work who is influenced by further education. Kinda bassackwards eh?

Oh, I know one. Power. Some dig that shit - more even than money. EF Hutton. Or, maybe the guy with the small penis. Maybe the feller who is #2 at home.

Whatever your influence is - I hope it fits for you - and that if you stick with one influencer - you ain't hurtin' yourself or others... God Bless... and....
En tous chemins, en tous lieuxIl ne parle que du bon DieuIl ne parle que du bon Die... Love, Victurd

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Forgive me Father for I have farted....

Laundry, done, before ever having to flip the last pair of undies. Hey, that hinges on alotta things.... the mood, the weather.. events scheduled... and... if the ones that are still left in the undie drawer are technically considered undies 'cause there's maybe more hole than material.

Immaterial to the matter at hand here. Some of you know my desk area = it appears to be set for any moment to scream out AVALANCHE!!!!!! Some o you know my car - but to be honest, it's even been relatively clean the last few weeks. My house, I don't let noneya see = so, the point to be gathered here - Victor, upon occasion, can be a little piggy - trouble with "putting this away and putting thataway." Yeah, mebbe true - but gaining on it.

I know where every GD thing on my desk is... I know what mail is and what mail ain't in my car.... We hada song with Sigma Nu - and it said something about "my collars and cuffs are seldom neat"... and true, mine prolly ain't.

I am a wimp. Remember, I got fired from making roughly $60K @ Sonic because I was "too nice." My boss in onea my first jobs told me I needed to read the book "Looking out for number one"... (It was payday the next day, so, insteada saying what I wanted to say to her - I said it quietly to myself and smiled whilst doing so.)

Geez Victor it took you a long time to get to your point. Yes, I know. I DO GET PISSED WHEN PEOPLE MESS WITH MY STUFF - OR, THEY DO OTHER LITTLE SHIT THAT JUST DRIVES THE HELL OUTTA ME. Like empty coffee pot still on burner - burner on. Like someone pulling into a gas station, and you'da thought it was the Pope himself 'cause of the way parked (blocking all others... poof, walk around my car you little ones.)

Ok, I'm at the laundrymat. Everyone, like me, waited until 4 hours before the Super Bowl to go. ALL the dryers are full. I'm in my neat mode - I've got basket, dryer sheets, hangers hung - and sorted for slacks/shirts... Big woman gets up to clear a dryer. Hell yeah. Then I felt kinda bad - I just beat an 18 yr old woman who happened to be black by about three steps. Went back to get the next load - and lo and behold - she got me this time - so all not lost.

There are THREE, count em THREE, dryers FULL of clothes - and STOPPED. Owner nowhere to be found. Now this asshole who probably parks infronta the GD door at the local gas station didn't show up and didn't show up ---- and he'd cost me, and my laundrymat buddies (it's kinda like a club if you never been. "Oh don't use that one.. I put three quarters in it and it only worked for 9 minutes." Wow, thanks Lady!)...

I'm folding up my last load... Undies, socks are neatly away in the basket -- tshirts, jeans, shorts all folded... dress clothes now all hung up...

In walks the culprit. By now, there was no one besides me who knew whata creep he was - leaving his clothes there for six weeks and two days. So happened, my stuff was right nexta where his stuff had been sitting in the dryer.. It wasa bottom dryer, so he hadta go down there and sneak 'em out.

I couldn't hold it in. I didn't wanna hold it in. It was long, it was ugly, it was spirited, and I'm quite certain it had some sensory 'qualities'. Whilst I was actually done with my stuff, I just hadta stick around to get the gratification of his "no too happy" face. I did. Forgive me Father, for I have farted. He's lucky, I shoulda sharted! Love, Victurd

Welcome to Popeye's.....

"I'll be with you in a second."

GD. Cold. I'm in the "grumpy ole man with flu/cold symptoms - and can hardly talk mode". I'd put on sweats and finally made it outta the house - first time all weekend. GD, the hell's he doin? Ain't no cars infronta me. Parking lot's empty. Wow, wind chill like 2 below.. I gotta keep this window down in case he comes back... brrr... ain't seen snot freeze like this since Loveland '95.. My voice faint, my disposition "c'mon dammit" and the checkenginelight heater so-so. Twas twiddling my fingers perhaps 'cause the wait was bugging me - but too just so the sum'bitches wouldn't all freeze up on me. I mean hell, I remember Topsy. (<- town character when we were kids - rumored to have lost phalanges due to them being frozen.)

"Sorry about your wait, may I help you?"... Twas just then I realized I ain't talked aloud in quite awhile... Pleading for help from above, and the muscles below - I mustered out "3-piece dinner/water."

"MAY I HELP YOU?" NOOOOO... I'm HERE!!!! I just can't yell.. I've smoked too many GD cigs, I gotta cold in my system - I feel like doggy doo, and..... "i just wanna 3 piece dinner/water."

"Spicy or original sir?" Whew, at least he heard me. Spicy's fine.

What keeps people here? I'm sure you could digup old blogs where I rambled on and on giddily about "oh... gotta have the seasons... one wouldn't appreciate it if you didn't have 'em." Well... changed my mind.

For years, hadta move wherever my folks moved. Later, was my/our own family's decision - and I was only parta the tally... With apologies to Tommy and The Who - "I'M FREE"... So, why do I stay?

Buddy o' mine I worked with in the airline industry was originally from St. Petersburg, FL... He usedta say "yeah... we'd get the snowbirds... they'd ride down here in the upstairs cabin... and some time later we'd send 'em back in the lower compartment." (the cargo hold)... Well, ya know - at least they had the kutzpah to have that time inbetween.

I don't visit as much as I should now with my son, my nieces... Mebbe if I lived somewhere neat, they'd come see ME!

"SIR!".... SIR!!!... SIRRRRRR!!.. THAT'LL BE $5.69 please!..... "Thanks".. damn. Sometimes daydreams can be orgasmic. I've always dreamed of living so far out - I could go get the morning paper in my undies. Think I'm gonna switch that dream to "gonna live someplace where, on Groundhog's Day, I can go get the morning paper in my shorts - and I'll be comfy - not cold."

If I told you what it takes to reach the highest high,You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple 'But you've been told many times before Messiahs pointed to the door And no one had the guts to leave the temple! I'm free-I'm free And freedom tastes of reality I'm free-I'm free. And I'm waiting for you to follow me...... Then again, I guess I could drive myself!

May your thoughts be warm, your house comfy, and your "urges" fiery! Happy day, Victurd.

Friday, February 02, 2007

AlaCarte...

Me thinks Senator Biden temporarily wiped out 40 years of progess in race relations. In spitea what Jesse Jackson said "not typical behavior by Biden" <- or something similar - what an idiotic statement by Joe. And, I tend to think/vote alongside most Democrats. Geez.

Read that we now don't have sufficient supplies in our own country for the National Guard should something traumatic occur - due to Afghanistan and Iraq having carte blanche there. Is it just me, or is this like going to a movie theater that Uncle Sam runs... buying two tickets and having the feller at the podium say "thanks... ahm, we're gonna give one to the Afghan, and one to the Iraqi." I believe in humanity - and I believe in helping world neighbors - but... to help more than we assist our own - or putting our own folks in potential peril? Something wrong with that picture.

Sorry to learn of Barbaro's demise. He hada lotta fight in him. Too bad it wasn't quite as much as the duck that was shot, put away in the fridge for two days - and stared up at the hunter's wife when she opened the door that day. Oh, and "Sparky" survived heart stopping at the vet's... and vet performed mouth to beak to save Spark. Hell yeah.

Ahm, a brief assortment of actual country music titles:

I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

Wanna Be A Blue Light Special In The K Mart Of Your Heart

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye.

The expectorant worked, and I puked allover the stool. <-- Hehe, no, that ain't a country song, I'm friggin sick, as in yuck. Sweated my ass off this morning (Victor, why are you sharing this?) drove into work and made it til 11am. Tossed and turned between suppressent, expectorant - chose expectorant. Saving the big pieces to maybe spice up that last Banquet dinner some. Hehe.

Sorry this is short - but I feel like dog poo poo. Love u all, Victurd

Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Gift...

Funny what gifts stick out in your mind... We've all done the Christmas day thing - where at 4:20am it's absolutely time to get up.. we peek around the corner to see what whatshisname has left... then, it's off to mom & dad's room to rally them. "Go away, go back to sleep.. wake us in an hour." Damn. Or, I guess then it woulda been darn.

Onea my favorite gifts was a Motorola radio. Sounds silly, but being the sport's addict I was/still kinda am, I'd lay awake at night and listen to Harry Carey and the Cardinals... later years it was KAAY Little Rock.. and WLS Chicago.. A simple gift, but a favorite.

Three boy cousins, all within three years of age. Annually, it was a duel to see which of us was given the most prestigious gift amongst the three. My cousin D virtually always won - and while he's turned into a wonderful adult - back in those days if he didn't get what he wanted, he'd get on his hands and knees and bang the concrete with his head until he got what he wanted. Hehe. True. Didn't matter if it was G-Ma and G-Pa's in the country, or the middlea Main Street - he was a banger.

The most envied present he ever got was a basketball game (we're talking light years ago) that was maybe 14" by 24" long.. had two baskets... multiple holes where the ping pong ball was to land..(equal number for each side)... and these little flipper things that you flipped once the ball landed in your hole - and you attempted to make a basket. Hours and hours and hours we did that. Not quite Playstation 3 or Wii, but hell we didn't know any better.

My next-to-favorite gift (not counting people in my past - birth of son.. raising stepson) has been the eye surgery. I know I'm beating a dead horse - but today has been one of the most wonderful days of my life as my eye (tested at 20-20 this morning) has gone from 'rabbit ear basic channels' to HD-Supreme. Colors are again wondrous... I can literally SEE faces 20 cash registers over at WalMart. White is WHITE. Bright is BRIGHT. Wondrous. Thanks Doc Brumlige - I'd recommend him to anyone. He even called me last night at 8:30pm just to make sure all was Ok. Above and beyond.

What could be greater than eyesight? Twas when it was believed my sister's breast cancer was gone... finito... wiped out.. I don't remember how many months it was until it metastatsized in her brain - but that time inbetween was the greatest gift any of us ever had. It was the most lived period of our lives. What a crappy reminder cancer (or any serious illness) is about how precious our time here is - but it does have that affect.

Call it sappy, drippy... call it repetitive... call it same ole same ole... but.. Please live for today - for tomorrow doesn't always happen. Love, Victurd