Hodge podge

How could I have forgotten to give congratulatory wishes to Kendra on her 4 year boobiversary yersterday… I kinda feel a kinship… Ain’t implants wonderful?

On a sad note. Weird day yesterday. My left eye decided it would turn bright red all day. I worked Stevie Wonder-like in the afternoon (wearing shades at my desk - they thought I was nuts.) Forgot to take my GD eyedrops to work, made it worse. Then.. allofasudden I couldn't hear outta my left ear. Bizarre. It's hell getting old. The sad note? I entered the Golden T bowling tournament (6 of us). A GD chicky won. The ONLY chicky that was bowling. Please don't tell nobody. Actually, 'twas the little barkeep. The bar sucks in that they don't pay her an hourly wage - so - close your ears - we were all glad she won. I have an excuse, my equilibrium was screwed up. I even hadta turn to my right just to hear the jukebox. For the record, I finished third. Still not close to giving up my day job and going on Golden T tour, but hell, tis ok to dream ain't it?

Reminder note to self. Self, please walkby mirror before going to work. Your shirt looks like shit. Kinda like it laid in the driveway and six cars rolled over it. Point taken.

Did you hear about the chicky that was smooching her man and she swallowed his dentures whole? Hehe… I got sketchy details, but I understand two days later they came out ‘naturally’. Eww.

Sunday, at my wonderful HyVee breakfast – little old lady (hell Victor, who are you talking to – she was probably within 20 years of you… ok, you’re right… this elderly lady) sits in the booth… moments later, her man comes over.. sits on same side – not across from her. I want that to be me some day. Can you be 70-something and cute? Kudos to you old man/old woman – may your brains forever remain young.

When I get older losing my hair, many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, Birthday greetings bottle of wine. If I'd been out till quarter to three - would you lock the door, will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four…. When I’m sixty-four or seventy-four, will the urge still be there to torch a fart? I hope so. Will you chickies still go to American Royal and stare down 20-somethings in Wranglers? Hope so. Will a kiss be just as passionate at 74? Hope so. Will your significant other still have the urge to come outta leftfield and have a nice lick on your face? Hope so.

I have so many many tools, gadgets and appliances garaged – and throughout the house. Venture to guess maybe a third of ‘em no longer work – and hell, most are less than 20 yrs old. When I’m 74, will my tool still work? Hope so. If it don’t, will I be cast off to the garage? When 74 hits, will either still have the energy to get on top? The want to?

When one is 74, there are so so many more yesterdays to smile at.. but will we think of tomorrow with the same fervor? Hope so. Will we still enjoy flipping off friends in good humor when we’re 74? Hope so.

Will we still get on the floor and play with dogs in our 70’s? Hope so. If we get on floor to play with dogs, will we make it back up Ok? Will we still be able to skip at age 70-something? Jump rope? Recite our names? Will the urge still be there to pee one’s initials in the snow? Is there a front and back to Depends?

Will it be a happy timea life and the happy tears will still flow? Will our rock still be entitled Classic? Will the Beatles be on the History Channel?

Gravity has a way of trying to get our bodies into the ground. If ya look down and around, shit just ain’t quite as high up as it usedta be. Let’s resist. Let’s live. Let’s fight. Let’s love. Let’s smile. Let’s laugh. Let’s havea blast. Let’s not forget 74 sneaks up on us. Fight gravity, enjoy the ride – live life. Happy happy. Love, Victurd