Stench. Reek. Aroma. Odor. Smell. Fragrance. Scent. All ‘xplain (Lucy) the world of the nose. (Hell, noses themselves could be a blog for another day… Bent ones, long ones, tiny ones, one’s with indentations, hairy ones, hook, banana, flat… the other day I played blackjack with this old man – his nostrils were sooooo big.. I think he coulda kept his chips in there. Do nostrils grow as we age? GD I can’t wait!)
Normally the last listed of the five senses: See, hear, taste, touch – smell. Wonder why? Smell is fun, or can be. Seems there ain’t much middle ground – smells are either pleasant (vanilla) or putrid (this guy on our basketball team in HS.. that mother dubber could literally CLEAR the gym. Proud. He was proud of this ‘ability’ as well.)
Popcorn is a fun odor. It’s an anticipation aroma. Like – hurry. Want some. Gimme gimme…. Oh Christmas tree is nice.. the real ones. Ever go to a Christmas tree farm – cut, drag, load onea them suckers in your car? Delightful (ceptin for the needles that dry up – can’t be vacuumed, and will stick you for the next seven years.)
Of course flowers.. Damn daddy – ever been to Powell Gardens? Aroma utopia. Ahm, then there are livestock smells. Patooey. I don’t think them fuggers are actually saying “mooo”… I think they’re saying “moooooove.” Splat. “Moooooove”. How come cow poop is always runny? Hehe. Are they ever regular?
Howabout a tray of cookies fresh outta the oven? Onea granny’s apple pies? My granny usedta put pies on the old heater thingy in the living room. A brand of 1950’s incense I guess. Ahm, they also used pre-Lysol spray – as in wooden matches in the bathroom. The noise at dinner time really bugged grandpa – so he took off his hearing aid to eat. Problem was, he thought since he couldn’t hear his farts – we couldn’t either. Oh to be nine and laughing like crazy.
As some have observed – I got divorced – and yes – the dating thing again. How crazy is that at age 50-something? Well, I wish I wasa moth. That’d be hella easier. You see, the female moth emits a “pheromone” to entice the male moth – the odor travels for several kilometers. Wouldn’t that be easier? Think of how much less one would haveta spend on drinks… dinner… movies… “Hey baby, you’re kinda cute… wanna spray at me?”..
BO. Oh my. Is it so damn hard to bathe? We hada chicky where I work (she’s long gone, please don’t fire me boss for writing about this.) Anyways, I think she bathed every other week. She could get pretty ripe – and she was a leaner. She’d lean down and look at whatever you were looking at on the monitor. Now if this was someone like Kendra (it wasn’t, thus far I ain’t noticed her stinking) – I’d open a Microsoft Word document and type “get the hell outta my cubicle.” And I have done this to Kendra upon occasion. Works. Anyways, this leaner really made life unpleasant here. She not only smelled, she whined. “Clear as mud” was her favorite phrase during training. Or maybe she was talking about her undies, hell I dunno.
Coffee. Is there a better aroma in the morning when you’re having trouble getting the hell outta bed? Cedar chips – yummy. Peppermint – uh huh. Cinnamon – yes.
Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankindDead kings, many things I can't defineOccasions, persuasions clutter your mindIncense and peppermints, the color of timeWho cares what games we choose?Little to win but nothin' to loseIncense and peppermints
HEY, thanks for allowing me to a-roma round regular ole life and discuss this. May you enjoy smells. (Aren’t dogs disgusting? Can you imagine walking up to a chick and doing that? Eww.) Happy day, with love, VicTURD.
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