Step on it dude.......
Stepsister, stepbrother, stepparent (<- that don't look like it's spelled right, but, I guess it's apparent it is)...regardless, they ain't half bad.....
Stepping stones......
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Lao Tzu
Careful, don't step in that.......
Pep in one's step........
I, I, I, I, I'm not your stepping stone.......
A rest for the foot in ascending or descending: such as one of a series of structures consisting of a riser and tread, or, a ladder rung..
Step right up -- there's a sucker born every minute....
12 step...
Gimme three steps...
Fell down the steps, and yes, some of us old farts even fall UP the steps.
I'm thinkin' my girlfriend maybe silently wanted to breakup with me a little sooner, but the shed we got at Menards had 10,000 steps to put it together, so it afforded me an extra nine days with her.
Two step.. sounds simple, unless one has two left feet.
Step up to the plate......
Baby steps... I've little fame in life. I think I'm perhaps tied for having to pee the most times in one 8-hour sleep, and until the other day, I held the family record for walking at the age of 8 months (non-believers, it's right there, handwritten into granny's Bible, right next to "Darrell could dial his phone number at the age of 3." Hats off to my cousin's 7 month old granddaughter Sloane.
"The first step is to say you can." Will Smith
High stepper.
Keep in step.
You're outta step.
Step into my office (Ha, I only heard that once in my working career.)
Two steps forward, one step back.
Every step I take........
Danger, danger Will Robinson (Step back)
"Step with care and great tact, remember that life's a great balancing act." Dr.Seuss
Life's steps are amazing. Anticipation. Hard work. Aside your teammate. Leading in front of your children. Beside your mate. Stepping off the beaten path. Learning to step into each age, decade you're at. Woah, didn't see that coming. Hell, there's an app on the phone that count your daily steps. I ain't figured out how to adjust the goal (10,000 steps a day) though.. be for real! Thru the mud, up the hill, down the valley...
Steppin' out...
Thank you Lord, I'm extremely thankful for every step.
Love, Victurd
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
Distracted driving........
A bit ago, Tiger Woods was on the tee, during his downswing, someone hollered something.. IMMEDIATELY after his swing, he turned, offered, "REALLY?"... Distracted driving.
Yesterday, I had a lot of tee offs. Playing by myself, no one hollered. Just my brain, talking to me as I took my club back. I ain't good enough that it all comes naturally... I think, think, think......... too much.
I never really have been a club thrower - but I admit to uttering profanities under-my-breath, and uh huh, occasionally aloud. Bottomline, older I get, less I care whereinthehell my ball ends up. The pond? Insteada "shit" I wonder how the bluegills reacted. Into the forest? I hope it maybe hit a snake.
"I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity." Gilda Radner
So, after my round yesterday, I swung into Mickey D's. Same ole same ole order, nearly 500 calories, wipes out anything I did on the course. I was third in line. Two cars infronta me ordered, pulled up.. car infronta me ordered, pulled up.. my turn, ordered.. sat, waited. The car that was first - well, the car infronta him pulled up to pay leaving a one car gap... he/she didn't pull up when the car infronta them rolled.. probably texting, checking facebook, yada.. we sat for a good while. Trying to live the "Don't throw your damn club Victor" life, I waited patiently - but I must admit it had gotten very close to the horn honk of impatience. Thankfully, the driver infronta me was a younger dude, no fear of honking his damn horn to tell the lady/man to "pull your butt up." He/she did. Distracted driving.
I think we've probably all had green lights turn to yellow, then red, because the person infronta us was distracted. Retirement, old age, a mebbe sorta laid back personality, and 105 mg of high blood pressure medicine keeps me from rear ending them on purpose.
The ones that send me into "Our Father, Who Art in Heaven" are the ones where I'm next to 'em on Interstate, they slide my way, I see the phone, ok, I cuss, I do, I "oh shit" and say a quick prayer they yank it back in their lane. So far, so good. TY Father.
Today (my life is REAL boring), after I played THE BEST 16 holes I ever had (then scored a 6 and another 6 on the final two holes- par for each was 3) I went to the Community Center. My reward on exercise is a respite in the sauna, a jump in the Jacuzzi.. then I'm off for a nap. Today, old people (like me) water aerobics. The instructor lady was shouting jumping jack instructions that coulda been heard in the next county - there were two oblivious (an old man and an old lady, like me) and as they stood side by side in the pool.. she counted "and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 10" their chins moved in unison - nowhere near making the aerobic jumping jack move she'd spouted out. Distracted old people water aerobics. It's a thing. Common. Eh, we're old, who cares.
"I'm quite a dreamer, and usually when someone tells a story, I tend to get distracted easily." Keerthy Suresh.
Story tellers come in all sizes, shapes and capabilities. Once, an elderly family member was relating a (very long) story.. my 6 year old son got up, looked at her and said "This is boring" and off he went. Pickle, I was in a pickle, but damned if I didn't wanna follow him, maybe even high five him - distracted listening.
Life interjects. Focus can be tough. Loyaly, shouldn't be, but sometimes is tough. Wow, cool, greener grass gets in the way, we're distracted, we jump... sometimes we "oh shit", sometimes we land in it.
I loved Mrs. Sumpter, one of my teachers from back in the day. Horrible, I don't even remember the subject.. English I think. When she was on the podium speaking, she had a knack for knowing when a classroom was distracted.. she would keep reading, speaking, then she would YELL, literally YELL, the next words in her speech - we knew she knew we were distracted - she put the boat back on course.
"I really love writing, but I am very easily distracted: my two cats fighting, a rainbow, a TV show.. I have to use every trick to keep myself at the computer." K.A. Applegate
At one time, I read every single inch of the Kansas City Star. No'more. Life, old age, a penchant for good, surmising "it's ok not to care about that", sport's salaries, lotta stuff - has me winging thru the paper in under 30 minutes. On purpose distraction, I guess.
We've all heard the marital rants.. never listens.. I TOLD you that last Tuesday.. for the 12th time..You NEVER listen.. Nuh uh, stop. You're lucky. Damn lucky. Distraction happens, especially in marriage. (Throwing in the towel too damn easy is a blog for another day).. just be glad, there's one nearby that's distracted. Echoes suck.
I'm getting the hell outta here... Distracted, can't thinka what to write next.
"HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNKKKKKK... MOVE YOUR ASS.. THE LIGHT IS ABOUT TO TURN RED... I'VE GOT TO GET TO WENDY'S AS FROSTY'S ARE HALF-PRICE!"... "Oh, nevermind, I'm retired. I can wait. It's all good."
Love, Victurd
(Tune in tomorrow when we'll visits objects I throw at drivers who don't pull up far enough to activate the traffic signal.)
Yesterday, I had a lot of tee offs. Playing by myself, no one hollered. Just my brain, talking to me as I took my club back. I ain't good enough that it all comes naturally... I think, think, think......... too much.
I never really have been a club thrower - but I admit to uttering profanities under-my-breath, and uh huh, occasionally aloud. Bottomline, older I get, less I care whereinthehell my ball ends up. The pond? Insteada "shit" I wonder how the bluegills reacted. Into the forest? I hope it maybe hit a snake.
"I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity." Gilda Radner
So, after my round yesterday, I swung into Mickey D's. Same ole same ole order, nearly 500 calories, wipes out anything I did on the course. I was third in line. Two cars infronta me ordered, pulled up.. car infronta me ordered, pulled up.. my turn, ordered.. sat, waited. The car that was first - well, the car infronta him pulled up to pay leaving a one car gap... he/she didn't pull up when the car infronta them rolled.. probably texting, checking facebook, yada.. we sat for a good while. Trying to live the "Don't throw your damn club Victor" life, I waited patiently - but I must admit it had gotten very close to the horn honk of impatience. Thankfully, the driver infronta me was a younger dude, no fear of honking his damn horn to tell the lady/man to "pull your butt up." He/she did. Distracted driving.
I think we've probably all had green lights turn to yellow, then red, because the person infronta us was distracted. Retirement, old age, a mebbe sorta laid back personality, and 105 mg of high blood pressure medicine keeps me from rear ending them on purpose.
The ones that send me into "Our Father, Who Art in Heaven" are the ones where I'm next to 'em on Interstate, they slide my way, I see the phone, ok, I cuss, I do, I "oh shit" and say a quick prayer they yank it back in their lane. So far, so good. TY Father.
Today (my life is REAL boring), after I played THE BEST 16 holes I ever had (then scored a 6 and another 6 on the final two holes- par for each was 3) I went to the Community Center. My reward on exercise is a respite in the sauna, a jump in the Jacuzzi.. then I'm off for a nap. Today, old people (like me) water aerobics. The instructor lady was shouting jumping jack instructions that coulda been heard in the next county - there were two oblivious (an old man and an old lady, like me) and as they stood side by side in the pool.. she counted "and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 10" their chins moved in unison - nowhere near making the aerobic jumping jack move she'd spouted out. Distracted old people water aerobics. It's a thing. Common. Eh, we're old, who cares.
"I'm quite a dreamer, and usually when someone tells a story, I tend to get distracted easily." Keerthy Suresh.
Story tellers come in all sizes, shapes and capabilities. Once, an elderly family member was relating a (very long) story.. my 6 year old son got up, looked at her and said "This is boring" and off he went. Pickle, I was in a pickle, but damned if I didn't wanna follow him, maybe even high five him - distracted listening.
Life interjects. Focus can be tough. Loyaly, shouldn't be, but sometimes is tough. Wow, cool, greener grass gets in the way, we're distracted, we jump... sometimes we "oh shit", sometimes we land in it.
I loved Mrs. Sumpter, one of my teachers from back in the day. Horrible, I don't even remember the subject.. English I think. When she was on the podium speaking, she had a knack for knowing when a classroom was distracted.. she would keep reading, speaking, then she would YELL, literally YELL, the next words in her speech - we knew she knew we were distracted - she put the boat back on course.
"I really love writing, but I am very easily distracted: my two cats fighting, a rainbow, a TV show.. I have to use every trick to keep myself at the computer." K.A. Applegate
At one time, I read every single inch of the Kansas City Star. No'more. Life, old age, a penchant for good, surmising "it's ok not to care about that", sport's salaries, lotta stuff - has me winging thru the paper in under 30 minutes. On purpose distraction, I guess.
We've all heard the marital rants.. never listens.. I TOLD you that last Tuesday.. for the 12th time..You NEVER listen.. Nuh uh, stop. You're lucky. Damn lucky. Distraction happens, especially in marriage. (Throwing in the towel too damn easy is a blog for another day).. just be glad, there's one nearby that's distracted. Echoes suck.
I'm getting the hell outta here... Distracted, can't thinka what to write next.
"HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNKKKKKK... MOVE YOUR ASS.. THE LIGHT IS ABOUT TO TURN RED... I'VE GOT TO GET TO WENDY'S AS FROSTY'S ARE HALF-PRICE!"... "Oh, nevermind, I'm retired. I can wait. It's all good."
Love, Victurd
(Tune in tomorrow when we'll visits objects I throw at drivers who don't pull up far enough to activate the traffic signal.)
Friday, August 17, 2018
Closing one's eyes.......
There is much justification for closing one's eyes....
Coming to mind first is, naturally, going to bed, "getting some shuteye".. How long that takes differs for many - I happen to be one that doesn't go to bed until every ounce of 'go get it' has gone done, so, I'm usually fast asleep. I know the toss and turn folks.. I know the 'read a book' folks who always ultimately zonk, then turn out the light sometime in the middle of the night..
The emotions that accompany one closing their eyes are wide, various. As I watched the news this morning, they were interviewing the crazed man that killed his pregnant wife and two beautiful little girls, as he spoke on his porch, "I just want them back" prior to admitting he'd done it. I didn't wanna, couldn't see him, so I closed my eyes.. Soon, a smiling picture of the mom and the two girls, again, I closed my eyes, I couldn't look.
Happy, thankfully, allows one to close their eyes. I've three grandbabies - over to visit last night, it had admittedly been awhile since I'd been to their house. The two older ones by now oblivious {"it's just grandpa") as they buried their heads in their tablets.. but Ms. Bella, my 2 year old, runs to me, places the side of her face on my leg... I lift her up.. she grabs me like there's no lettin' go, hugging with all her might - I hugged back tightly, gently, we BOTH closed our eyes in happiness for a long, long time. Yum.
"Close your eyes. Hear the silent snow. Listen to your soul speak." A.D. Posey
I remember kids in Little League closing their eyes when they swung the bat... they usually didn't stick around too many years..
I remember hearing something, not necessarily evil, but something with shock value - and we take that baby moment to close our eyes, readjust, gather, gulp, reflect, come back...
The sun, that'll do it.. look right at that sucker, force squint, closure.
Depression - have we maybe all dipped our toes in the water of that one? 'Closing one's eyes' to the mounting trash littering the abode, the overflowing clothes basket, the unshaven face, the same outfit for the second day - we see it, it all weighs horribly, but we close our eyes to it. Thankfully, good follows bad, eyes are opened, messes are fixed, clothes washed, faces shaved, maybe even a new outfit to wear.
A smooch. People close their eyes when they smooch. Doesn't make a whole lotta sense, but we do.. La La Land makes us close our eyes.
"Close your eyes to see me with your heart." Debasish Mridha
Music. Ahhhh music. A sax.. Sitting at the PC, on the couch with your laptop, phone, youtube on TV, whatever, music makes us close our eyes, cleanses our souls. My alltime favorite song (Victor.. nobody asked ya).. ahm, my alltime favorite song is the long version of "You Can't Always Get What You Want".. it's 7 minutes, 4 seconds of bliss.. and when the female choir entry begins, I close my eyes. Heaven, or so I think.. Ray Charles too makes me close my eyes.
Sure, we had the sad above when referring to our eyes closed - but how cool is it folks like Ray Charles, who really always have their eyes closed - and they travel lifelong with zest, thankfulness, and happiness. Yum. Makes one slap themselves for ever having been depressed.
Eye drops, of course, make us close our eyes, so we can then open them with comfort, ease.
Self achievement.. winning an award, a trophy, having kind words planted in your direction, uh huh, we close our eyes. It's fun to watch someone mid-shine.
Rejection. Be it verbally, a phone call, a text, an email, yada.. we see it, but we don't wanna, we close our eyes, wish it away.
Finally, in death. Yesterday we lost the Queen of Soul, Aretha. Coincidentally, she died on the very day the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis, did. Sure, that'd be a very very very nice concert to attend. The Good Lord willing, and with St. Pete stamping my hand, I'd prefer to sit in the front row of a concert with Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin. I'd close my eyes, think, and know, I'm in heaven.
"Open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close forever." Anthony Doerr
Love, Victurd
Coming to mind first is, naturally, going to bed, "getting some shuteye".. How long that takes differs for many - I happen to be one that doesn't go to bed until every ounce of 'go get it' has gone done, so, I'm usually fast asleep. I know the toss and turn folks.. I know the 'read a book' folks who always ultimately zonk, then turn out the light sometime in the middle of the night..
The emotions that accompany one closing their eyes are wide, various. As I watched the news this morning, they were interviewing the crazed man that killed his pregnant wife and two beautiful little girls, as he spoke on his porch, "I just want them back" prior to admitting he'd done it. I didn't wanna, couldn't see him, so I closed my eyes.. Soon, a smiling picture of the mom and the two girls, again, I closed my eyes, I couldn't look.
Happy, thankfully, allows one to close their eyes. I've three grandbabies - over to visit last night, it had admittedly been awhile since I'd been to their house. The two older ones by now oblivious {"it's just grandpa") as they buried their heads in their tablets.. but Ms. Bella, my 2 year old, runs to me, places the side of her face on my leg... I lift her up.. she grabs me like there's no lettin' go, hugging with all her might - I hugged back tightly, gently, we BOTH closed our eyes in happiness for a long, long time. Yum.
"Close your eyes. Hear the silent snow. Listen to your soul speak." A.D. Posey
I remember kids in Little League closing their eyes when they swung the bat... they usually didn't stick around too many years..
I remember hearing something, not necessarily evil, but something with shock value - and we take that baby moment to close our eyes, readjust, gather, gulp, reflect, come back...
The sun, that'll do it.. look right at that sucker, force squint, closure.
Depression - have we maybe all dipped our toes in the water of that one? 'Closing one's eyes' to the mounting trash littering the abode, the overflowing clothes basket, the unshaven face, the same outfit for the second day - we see it, it all weighs horribly, but we close our eyes to it. Thankfully, good follows bad, eyes are opened, messes are fixed, clothes washed, faces shaved, maybe even a new outfit to wear.
A smooch. People close their eyes when they smooch. Doesn't make a whole lotta sense, but we do.. La La Land makes us close our eyes.
"Close your eyes to see me with your heart." Debasish Mridha
Music. Ahhhh music. A sax.. Sitting at the PC, on the couch with your laptop, phone, youtube on TV, whatever, music makes us close our eyes, cleanses our souls. My alltime favorite song (Victor.. nobody asked ya).. ahm, my alltime favorite song is the long version of "You Can't Always Get What You Want".. it's 7 minutes, 4 seconds of bliss.. and when the female choir entry begins, I close my eyes. Heaven, or so I think.. Ray Charles too makes me close my eyes.
Sure, we had the sad above when referring to our eyes closed - but how cool is it folks like Ray Charles, who really always have their eyes closed - and they travel lifelong with zest, thankfulness, and happiness. Yum. Makes one slap themselves for ever having been depressed.
Eye drops, of course, make us close our eyes, so we can then open them with comfort, ease.
Self achievement.. winning an award, a trophy, having kind words planted in your direction, uh huh, we close our eyes. It's fun to watch someone mid-shine.
Rejection. Be it verbally, a phone call, a text, an email, yada.. we see it, but we don't wanna, we close our eyes, wish it away.
Finally, in death. Yesterday we lost the Queen of Soul, Aretha. Coincidentally, she died on the very day the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis, did. Sure, that'd be a very very very nice concert to attend. The Good Lord willing, and with St. Pete stamping my hand, I'd prefer to sit in the front row of a concert with Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin. I'd close my eyes, think, and know, I'm in heaven.
"Open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close forever." Anthony Doerr
Love, Victurd
Tuesday, August 07, 2018
It’s SIMPLE
SIMPLE: Clear, understandable; easy. Child’s play, easy as pie, no problem, no sweat, self-explanatory…
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucious
Confucious, Go Tell It On The Mountain Brother, high five (high five was invented because ballplayers didn’t like patting their teammates on the butt.. It has since been replaced by ‘the first bump’, because the little sissies kept on breaking fingers using the high five.)
IT improvements. One day (never), maybe I’ll take some computer courses to I too can understand ‘IT Improvements’ that take more clicks to accomplish what was easy peasy (simple) before. IT improvements hide things too. Why? (A simple question.)
“The most simple things can bring the most happiness.” Izabella Scorupco.
Izzy, you izzy right! I just returned from “The BP” (fancy for the simple ‘gas station’}.. noticed [with apologies to relatives] the cashier had a really nice derriere, and a nice smile. Now if I’da said “You have a really really nice butt” - that would complicate things, she might slap me, call the cops, show them the damn video of me saying so, I could go to jail, have to post bond, and explain to my family. Complicated. SO, I simply said “You have a nice smile.” She gave it to me again, so it musta worked.
Simple were the days before air conditioning. Fans in opened windows, clear, clean smell of the outdoors, yummy sleeping, then we invented AC. God shoulda born us with three arms, three legs, because now, AC cost an arm and a leg. ‘Wings’ in cars were simple. Turn that sucker in, feel the breeze! Nice, even at a hunnerd degrees. Now, we have AC in cars. They overheat. Compressors go out. They leak Freon. (Do you have the nads to hook that Freon bottle up, to the right orifice, release the high pressured stream, mebbe ruin onea your own orifices for life? I ain’t. Gimme simple, Henry [Ford], please put the wing back on cars.)
Phones. Before cell phones, we knew any/everyone’s phone number. They even had a book with names/numbers in case ya forgot. Sure, it’s nice to have a phone withya in the car in case you breakdown, or, so you can find your teenager at any given time… But MOSTA the time, those kinda phones are FRUSTRATING. Tell me you ain’t never jumped three feet in the air when yours rang? Tell me you ain’t never lost it. Dropped it in the toilet. Went to Piggly Wiggly to buy rice, say a prayer. Cracked the sucker so now you can hardly read it. Screwed up the hooker-inner charger piece wrong, had to go pay arm/leg (God, please change the request to 4 arms, 4 legs, thanks) for a new phone. WHY do I have to buy the phone AND pay the registration fee? I just paid the registration fee on my last phone, Ma Bell never did that to me? Simple, I miss simple.
IKEA. I ain’t even going there. Ever.
Putting ANYTHING together nowadays. You gotta turn the damn instructions four different ways before you even find ENGLISH. You finally get done. You look down. There’s one part left. Oh shit. Simple, I want simple, preassembled (without charge please.)
Back in the day (I hate when we old people say that.) Back in the day, if you got in trouble, it took a total of about ten minutes before word got back to your folks. Now, thanks to the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, whatever, in MILLISECONDS, everyone in Tanzania, The North Pole, and Russia knows what happened, and they can see you with those stupid nose, eye adornments you added. Gimme Mrs. Jones calling Mrs. Smith, who ran into Mr. Carpenter at the store, who saw dad at the hardware store, who finally told my mom. Simple.
“Every day, I like to wake up and remind myself to be grateful of the simple things.” Miranda Kerr.
Hell, I was usedta Walker Cronkite’s “And that’s the way it is.” I believed him. Oh, if there was a tad more, you could always tune into Paul Harvey. Now, we’ve got PBS, CBS, ABC, NBC, NPR, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, BLOOMBERG, Vice News, CNET, The Guardian, and I unnerstand some of ‘ems even fake..…. STOP! STOP! STOP!
You want stupid? Let’s talk the cost of Cable vs. Rabbit Ears. Huh? (God, make that 5 and 5 perty please, thanks.)
“I lead a pretty simple life.” Tom Selleck
I KNEW I liked you Tom! (Quick aside. There was a vendor I worked with, nicest folks on the planet. The lady that answered the phones though, she hadn’t a clue. Dare I say simpleton? Oh, she was as friendly as could be, but every time I called [and I called daily] and asked for Nancy or Miranda, she'd say “Who’s calling please?”… Tom Selleck was my favorite answer, but I used Tom Cruise, Don Johnson, a string of ‘em. She’d always say “Sure Mr. Selleck, I’ll patch you right over.” Giggles to me when Nancy or Miranda answered. She was simple. Simple to fool. She musta been 4'11", everything went over her head. Easy peasy. I likes me some simple.
Our world is, has gone, crazy. People repeat “Victor, you always talk about yesterday, the past.”
KISS. (Not as in “my ass”, but as in Keep It Simple Stupid)…
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Oh sir, we've got Lasik, laser surgery, lens implants, regular eyeglasses, contacts (long wearing or disposable), bifocals, trifocals, Ray Bans.... STOP!
I'm gonna go take a swig of whiskey. Oh sir, please don't do that. We've got SSRI's (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), SNRI's (Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors) SMS (Serotonin modulators and stimulators), SARI's (Serotonin antagonists and reuptake inhibitors).. Thanks, and nevermind, I'll just take a nap.
Simply, have a great day,
Love, Victurd.
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucious
Confucious, Go Tell It On The Mountain Brother, high five (high five was invented because ballplayers didn’t like patting their teammates on the butt.. It has since been replaced by ‘the first bump’, because the little sissies kept on breaking fingers using the high five.)
IT improvements. One day (never), maybe I’ll take some computer courses to I too can understand ‘IT Improvements’ that take more clicks to accomplish what was easy peasy (simple) before. IT improvements hide things too. Why? (A simple question.)
“The most simple things can bring the most happiness.” Izabella Scorupco.
Izzy, you izzy right! I just returned from “The BP” (fancy for the simple ‘gas station’}.. noticed [with apologies to relatives] the cashier had a really nice derriere, and a nice smile. Now if I’da said “You have a really really nice butt” - that would complicate things, she might slap me, call the cops, show them the damn video of me saying so, I could go to jail, have to post bond, and explain to my family. Complicated. SO, I simply said “You have a nice smile.” She gave it to me again, so it musta worked.
Simple were the days before air conditioning. Fans in opened windows, clear, clean smell of the outdoors, yummy sleeping, then we invented AC. God shoulda born us with three arms, three legs, because now, AC cost an arm and a leg. ‘Wings’ in cars were simple. Turn that sucker in, feel the breeze! Nice, even at a hunnerd degrees. Now, we have AC in cars. They overheat. Compressors go out. They leak Freon. (Do you have the nads to hook that Freon bottle up, to the right orifice, release the high pressured stream, mebbe ruin onea your own orifices for life? I ain’t. Gimme simple, Henry [Ford], please put the wing back on cars.)
Phones. Before cell phones, we knew any/everyone’s phone number. They even had a book with names/numbers in case ya forgot. Sure, it’s nice to have a phone withya in the car in case you breakdown, or, so you can find your teenager at any given time… But MOSTA the time, those kinda phones are FRUSTRATING. Tell me you ain’t never jumped three feet in the air when yours rang? Tell me you ain’t never lost it. Dropped it in the toilet. Went to Piggly Wiggly to buy rice, say a prayer. Cracked the sucker so now you can hardly read it. Screwed up the hooker-inner charger piece wrong, had to go pay arm/leg (God, please change the request to 4 arms, 4 legs, thanks) for a new phone. WHY do I have to buy the phone AND pay the registration fee? I just paid the registration fee on my last phone, Ma Bell never did that to me? Simple, I miss simple.
IKEA. I ain’t even going there. Ever.
Putting ANYTHING together nowadays. You gotta turn the damn instructions four different ways before you even find ENGLISH. You finally get done. You look down. There’s one part left. Oh shit. Simple, I want simple, preassembled (without charge please.)
Back in the day (I hate when we old people say that.) Back in the day, if you got in trouble, it took a total of about ten minutes before word got back to your folks. Now, thanks to the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, whatever, in MILLISECONDS, everyone in Tanzania, The North Pole, and Russia knows what happened, and they can see you with those stupid nose, eye adornments you added. Gimme Mrs. Jones calling Mrs. Smith, who ran into Mr. Carpenter at the store, who saw dad at the hardware store, who finally told my mom. Simple.
“Every day, I like to wake up and remind myself to be grateful of the simple things.” Miranda Kerr.
Hell, I was usedta Walker Cronkite’s “And that’s the way it is.” I believed him. Oh, if there was a tad more, you could always tune into Paul Harvey. Now, we’ve got PBS, CBS, ABC, NBC, NPR, FOX, CNN, MSNBC, BLOOMBERG, Vice News, CNET, The Guardian, and I unnerstand some of ‘ems even fake..…. STOP! STOP! STOP!
You want stupid? Let’s talk the cost of Cable vs. Rabbit Ears. Huh? (God, make that 5 and 5 perty please, thanks.)
“I lead a pretty simple life.” Tom Selleck
I KNEW I liked you Tom! (Quick aside. There was a vendor I worked with, nicest folks on the planet. The lady that answered the phones though, she hadn’t a clue. Dare I say simpleton? Oh, she was as friendly as could be, but every time I called [and I called daily] and asked for Nancy or Miranda, she'd say “Who’s calling please?”… Tom Selleck was my favorite answer, but I used Tom Cruise, Don Johnson, a string of ‘em. She’d always say “Sure Mr. Selleck, I’ll patch you right over.” Giggles to me when Nancy or Miranda answered. She was simple. Simple to fool. She musta been 4'11", everything went over her head. Easy peasy. I likes me some simple.
Our world is, has gone, crazy. People repeat “Victor, you always talk about yesterday, the past.”
KISS. (Not as in “my ass”, but as in Keep It Simple Stupid)…
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Oh sir, we've got Lasik, laser surgery, lens implants, regular eyeglasses, contacts (long wearing or disposable), bifocals, trifocals, Ray Bans.... STOP!
I'm gonna go take a swig of whiskey. Oh sir, please don't do that. We've got SSRI's (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), SNRI's (Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors) SMS (Serotonin modulators and stimulators), SARI's (Serotonin antagonists and reuptake inhibitors).. Thanks, and nevermind, I'll just take a nap.
Simply, have a great day,
Love, Victurd.
Sunday, August 05, 2018
As an aside....
I don't like soccer. I love soccer.
It's football, not futbol. You're both wrong, rugby is best!
I'll take a side of fries. Tator tots for me.
I hear he gets some on the side.
Sleep on your left side, it's best for your health.
Time, is on my side.
Packers. Da' Bears.
Lakers, Celtics.
Ali, Frazier.
Red Sox, Yankees.
Ohio State, Michigan. Duke, North Carolina. MU, KU.
Evert, Navratilova.
Palmer, Nicklaus
Hatfields, McCoys.
Mac, PC. iPhone, Android. Xbox 360, PS3.
Pepsi, Coke. Big Mac, Whopper.
Men, Women.
Theist, agnostic, atheist.
Paper, plastic.
Apples, oranges.
Cats, Dogs.
Kimmel, Fallon.
The Greatest Generation. The Silent Generation. Boomer, X, Xennials, Millennial.
Tide Pod, Kiki.
Black, white, red, yellow, brown.
The Continental Divide, where every river on "that side" flows into the Pacific, and every river on "the other side" flows into the Atlantic (or, via the Gulf or Carribean, ultimately into the Atlantic.)
Roll Tide, Snowbirds, The Sunshine State, Land of Lincoln, Don't Mess With Texas, Show Me.
Nature, Nurture.
Shirts, skins.
North, South, East, West.
Urban, Suburban, Rural.
And yes, Republican, Democrat.
As a kid, it was Liberty, Excelsior Springs, "The Big E." We learned, early on, The Big E was our rival, enemy if you will. The Dueling Pistols. Every year, for many a year - a football game was played, the winner got to keep, display, for a year, the dueling pistols. I remember, my Senior year, playing defensive back, we were told "you're in a zone defense until they reach the 20, then you switch to man." Simple enough, unless you didn't notice they'd reached the 19 yardline, Larry Johnson (The Big E) runs a slant outside, some rummy (me) thinks we're still in zone, "Harris will pick him up", oh shit, I was sposedta. Touchdown, Excelsior, they kicked our ass. I was Bill Buckner, but that said, I think we lost by 20-some.
So..... I never liked Excelsior. Then, I went to college. They say "that's where you learn." Joined a fraternity. Oh no, so did 7 from Excelsior. Met this one, good dude. Polite, nice, smart, athletic, to be trusted. Then met another. Same thing, super nice dude. This can't be so, I hate Excelsior remember? And anudder, anudder, anudder and anudder. Damnit darnit, all good dudes. Then I got a job. Oh shit, Excelsior co-workers. Damn, he's a nice man. He shares his sunflower seeds every day. He brought me a CD of my favorite group. How can this be? I hate Excelsior, remember? And, anudder, anudder, and anudder. Color me naïve.
Small stage, sure, but large in proportion.
I hate this present Continental Divide smothering our Country. There's that word again, hate. Don't be like Victor. Love, all. No matter which river you pee in, no matter what ocean it ultimately reaches, we are one.
Should be anyways.
Love, Victurd
It's football, not futbol. You're both wrong, rugby is best!
I'll take a side of fries. Tator tots for me.
I hear he gets some on the side.
Sleep on your left side, it's best for your health.
Time, is on my side.
Packers. Da' Bears.
Lakers, Celtics.
Ali, Frazier.
Red Sox, Yankees.
Ohio State, Michigan. Duke, North Carolina. MU, KU.
Evert, Navratilova.
Palmer, Nicklaus
Hatfields, McCoys.
Mac, PC. iPhone, Android. Xbox 360, PS3.
Pepsi, Coke. Big Mac, Whopper.
Men, Women.
Theist, agnostic, atheist.
Paper, plastic.
Apples, oranges.
Cats, Dogs.
Kimmel, Fallon.
The Greatest Generation. The Silent Generation. Boomer, X, Xennials, Millennial.
Tide Pod, Kiki.
Black, white, red, yellow, brown.
The Continental Divide, where every river on "that side" flows into the Pacific, and every river on "the other side" flows into the Atlantic (or, via the Gulf or Carribean, ultimately into the Atlantic.)
Roll Tide, Snowbirds, The Sunshine State, Land of Lincoln, Don't Mess With Texas, Show Me.
Nature, Nurture.
Shirts, skins.
North, South, East, West.
Urban, Suburban, Rural.
And yes, Republican, Democrat.
As a kid, it was Liberty, Excelsior Springs, "The Big E." We learned, early on, The Big E was our rival, enemy if you will. The Dueling Pistols. Every year, for many a year - a football game was played, the winner got to keep, display, for a year, the dueling pistols. I remember, my Senior year, playing defensive back, we were told "you're in a zone defense until they reach the 20, then you switch to man." Simple enough, unless you didn't notice they'd reached the 19 yardline, Larry Johnson (The Big E) runs a slant outside, some rummy (me) thinks we're still in zone, "Harris will pick him up", oh shit, I was sposedta. Touchdown, Excelsior, they kicked our ass. I was Bill Buckner, but that said, I think we lost by 20-some.
So..... I never liked Excelsior. Then, I went to college. They say "that's where you learn." Joined a fraternity. Oh no, so did 7 from Excelsior. Met this one, good dude. Polite, nice, smart, athletic, to be trusted. Then met another. Same thing, super nice dude. This can't be so, I hate Excelsior remember? And anudder, anudder, anudder and anudder. Damnit darnit, all good dudes. Then I got a job. Oh shit, Excelsior co-workers. Damn, he's a nice man. He shares his sunflower seeds every day. He brought me a CD of my favorite group. How can this be? I hate Excelsior, remember? And, anudder, anudder, and anudder. Color me naïve.
Small stage, sure, but large in proportion.
I hate this present Continental Divide smothering our Country. There's that word again, hate. Don't be like Victor. Love, all. No matter which river you pee in, no matter what ocean it ultimately reaches, we are one.
Should be anyways.
Love, Victurd
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