My physical wallet is pretty boring. A few bucks. A Starbucks, Quick Trip, and WalMart gift card, with $0.67, $1.23 and $1.74 left on them, respectively. A $2 off coupon from when I got my haircut in 2017 at Great Clips, and yeah, the ink is gone, ya can't read it. Business cards from folks I've never done business with, nor probably ever will. See? Toldya, pretty boring.
Had a buddy. He was (and still is) in love with this chicky. Thirty years ago when they were dating, he had a pic in his wallet of her... and her ex boyfriend. He liked this one pic of her so much, he put masking tape over the dude, and kept her smiling face front and center for him to see when he opened his wallet.
Another buddy I worked with, Fernando Papi (originally from Argentina, well, he had trouble with 'J's. I ain't making fun of him, because he was accomplished in TWO languages - he yust had trouble with J. (John was Yohn, Yolly St. Nick.. Yoy to the world, you get the idea.) His famous phrase was "It not my yob man, it not my yob." Anyways, in his wallet, he kept a picture of his "Pride and Yoy, " which was, actually a picture of a bottle of Pride and a bottle of Joy.
Life brings us much, wonderfully, to our 'wallet.' Victor, are you gonna get all sentimental and talk about yesterday AGAIN? Uh huh, I am. Age, not giving much of a rat's ass (I wonder what the origin of that saying is?) brings one to "It's my party and I'll blog about the past if I want to... you could blog too if it happened to you."
And I'm sure it has.
BFF's. Some have one. Some have several, and I suppose many don't really have one. I have one, but life's twists and turns have kept us from doing much more than a few emails the last several years - BUT, he will always be my best friend. You?
LLF. That's life long friend. There's a gang of girls in the HS class one year older - I watch in amazement as they go (and have always gone as a LLF group) to concerts, sporting events, birthday celebrations, and most recently Maui, together. Lifetime wallet. LLF's. Yum, and kudos. I think we've all got LLF's.
CIW. (Coworkers in wallet).. Various lengths of time. Lord I've had way too many jobs, or yobs as Fernando would say - but I know I'm blessed in that, every time I run across one of them - a smile and memories instantly surface. Know what I mean Vern? I never actually worked with a Vern, but, there's a friend from HS named Vern.
Which brings us to classmates. Adored classmates. People in one's wallet, of ANY age, are special. But - Victor, you can't start a sentence with 'but.' But, wallet friends the same age are unique. We've gone thru much... being kids.. kisses at the Plaza Theater.. sock hops.. cruisin.. sports.. music.. some, moving, perhaps ne'er e'er to see again. But, shared, coupling, having/raising kids.. struggling thru a lifetime of that damn word 'work'.. RETIREMENT... I'd use a bigger size type if I could, but GRANDKIDS! We shared Elvis, doing the Twist in the dodgeball circle at Franklin School (remember getting in trouble for that?), landing on the moon, JFK's fateful day.. 9/11.. aging parents.. The sum is, this wallet friend is pretty damn special - MUCH, shared.
Educators. Not just teachers, but too, scout leaders, baseball/swimming/tennis/soccer coaches.. The people we learn much from, including representation, skills, teamwork, camaraderie. The niche of respect in our wallets..
Smidgits. These are fleeting friendships, wallet events, along the way. Could be the dude you talked to for two hours from MCI to LAX. The hairdresser, barber, grocery clerk, next door neighbor, insurance man/woman, lawyer, accountant, yada.. smidget friends. Some smidget-friendships continue fairly long, some, very fleeting - still, each/all, special. Smidgets make an impact in our wallets.
Blood. Yes, thicker than water. We may spat, we may take respites, we may not. No matter, wallet specials. A connection, forever. A sense of loyalty, a sense of love, respect, specialness. As one ages, tosses an old purse or wallet, ya always put these folks in your next wallet, purse - forever etched.
Inlaw/Outlaw. When one is in love, the love spills over into love for 'their blood.' Divorce, death, may happen - but too, hopefully you still have an attachment, a place in your wallet, for inlaws/outlaws. Outlaw is what my ex sister inlaw and I call each other. Different day, different situation, always though, the same wallet.
Can you think of other kinds in your wallet? Oh yeah, pets. I love my God, but mebbe it's backwards in length of life of pets as compared to our own. Someone once said "Isn't really all we want is to love and be loved in return?" Uh huh, and what better for the wallet than pets. Like the number of jobs (yobs) I've had, so too is the number of pets (thankfully) large. Too many to name (you're welcome) but, each, every one, special. Some no likey pets, and to each his/her own.. the majority of us though, look at these wonderful creatures with the love of a child, BFF, blood, that stuff. Good stuff. They're in our wallet, 4evr.
Time, trips around the sun, and sometimes illness cause us to slip, forget, what's in our wallets. (This aging thing is also the reason I keep a key to my car, and to my apartment in my actual wallet.)
I hope you are like me in that your wallet is full, and that's it's afforded many a smile over the years.
Upon death, it ain't so much about all the fives, tens, twentys, 401K's in one's wallet - it's moreso all of the above.
Have fun the resta your life, remembering "What's in your wallet?"
Love, Victurd
Saturday, July 27, 2019
Monday, July 22, 2019
Size matters....
If you're going up for a rebound.
With regard to your 401K at the time of your retirement. (Do as I say, not as I do..dear snotnoses, put 10% away every paycheck and 'no touchy.')
When the NFL ref tucks his head under the tarp covering the 6" TV screen for "Further review" whilst we at home watch on our 60" bigscreens.
"What counts is not necessarily he size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Dwight D. Eisenhower
I bet a kajillion dollars there are enough "That drawer is full of clothes for me 2 sizes ago that I will never-eva fit in again, but I'm keepin'" - to adequately clothe every homeless person in the World.
Matters when you're flying... in the middle seat.
Opines differ on where ya wanna live. Some, like the hustle-bustle of the city, choosing to live in a condo on the 39th floor, where they have on the ground a 2 foot by 20 foot grass strip for their dog to poop on. Some prefer, "Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam, and they can poop any dangwhere they please. " I likes small towns with a square surrounding a Courthouse - where it doesn't take much gas money to get to where 'country' is, fast.
"Life is too short, and I'm Italian. I'd rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size '0"." Sophia Bush
Awhile back at a Wellness event at work, one thing they measured was the size of your waist. "Pun perhaps intended ma'am, but you're 'wasting' your time measuring mine, I've been a size 36" waist since Ronald was in office.".... Yessir, I understand, but we actually measure around the belly button. Oops. Size matters where you measure.
Golfers want drivers the size of their baby's head... Country boys want tires on their pickups sooo big they gotta use a pogo stick just to get in. I think I hold the world record for number of Piggly Wiggly sacks in my two hands simply because I'm too lazy to make two trips.
Size comes into play in power.. ego.. hurdles.. the nose guard across fromya. (Chris Jones, KC Chief nose guard, begins every game looking across at his opponent, and offers "Whatsup fatty?") Size matters if you're going thru the metal detector at the Jackson County jail in Kansas City and ya gotta wear an underwire bra. "Ahm, ma'am, you'll have to take that off and place it in this bin."
Bear bed size mattered to Goldilocks. Goliath's size didn't matter to David. Size of inheritance share, sadly, is allowed to be the cause of family disarray, departure. The 1976 introduction of the Big Gulp changed the soft drink arena forever.
"First impressions matter. Experts say we size people up somewhere between 30 seconds and two minutes." Elliott Abrams
Tallest man, 8'11".. Woman, 7'7". Heaviest, 1,400 lbs. Thanks to Richard Simmons help, Rosalie Bradford went from 1,199 lbs to 200 lbs. a weight loss record for women at 999 lbs. Heaviest baby ever born, 22 lbs, ouch.
For his wife's birthday, a hubby bought her a dress two sizes too small to encourage her to lose weight, adding, "I look forward to seeing you in it." For his birthday, she bought him a coffin.
Many years ago, I shingled (by my lonesome, it was a money thing!) the roof of our three story house by tying myself to a rope attached to the chimney on the other end. Now, I don't think there is any 'test' rope that would hold me.
And "Oh, OK, for you perverts that've been waiting":
The 6th grade science teacher asked her class "Which human body part increases to ten times it's size when stimulated?" No one answered Finally, little Mary stood up and said "You should not be asking 6th graders questions like that! I'm going to tell my parents, then the principal, who will then fire you!"
The teacher ignored Mary, and asked the question again - and again it was met with silenece. She followed with "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously and said "The body part that increases to ten times it's size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
"Very good Billy" the teacher replied, then glared at Mary and said "As for you young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework, and Three, one day you're going to be very disappointed."
Size matters. Damnit darnit.
Love, Victurd
With regard to your 401K at the time of your retirement. (Do as I say, not as I do..dear snotnoses, put 10% away every paycheck and 'no touchy.')
When the NFL ref tucks his head under the tarp covering the 6" TV screen for "Further review" whilst we at home watch on our 60" bigscreens.
"What counts is not necessarily he size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Dwight D. Eisenhower
I bet a kajillion dollars there are enough "That drawer is full of clothes for me 2 sizes ago that I will never-eva fit in again, but I'm keepin'" - to adequately clothe every homeless person in the World.
Matters when you're flying... in the middle seat.
Opines differ on where ya wanna live. Some, like the hustle-bustle of the city, choosing to live in a condo on the 39th floor, where they have on the ground a 2 foot by 20 foot grass strip for their dog to poop on. Some prefer, "Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam, and they can poop any dangwhere they please. " I likes small towns with a square surrounding a Courthouse - where it doesn't take much gas money to get to where 'country' is, fast.
"Life is too short, and I'm Italian. I'd rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size '0"." Sophia Bush
Awhile back at a Wellness event at work, one thing they measured was the size of your waist. "Pun perhaps intended ma'am, but you're 'wasting' your time measuring mine, I've been a size 36" waist since Ronald was in office.".... Yessir, I understand, but we actually measure around the belly button. Oops. Size matters where you measure.
Golfers want drivers the size of their baby's head... Country boys want tires on their pickups sooo big they gotta use a pogo stick just to get in. I think I hold the world record for number of Piggly Wiggly sacks in my two hands simply because I'm too lazy to make two trips.
Size comes into play in power.. ego.. hurdles.. the nose guard across fromya. (Chris Jones, KC Chief nose guard, begins every game looking across at his opponent, and offers "Whatsup fatty?") Size matters if you're going thru the metal detector at the Jackson County jail in Kansas City and ya gotta wear an underwire bra. "Ahm, ma'am, you'll have to take that off and place it in this bin."
Bear bed size mattered to Goldilocks. Goliath's size didn't matter to David. Size of inheritance share, sadly, is allowed to be the cause of family disarray, departure. The 1976 introduction of the Big Gulp changed the soft drink arena forever.
"First impressions matter. Experts say we size people up somewhere between 30 seconds and two minutes." Elliott Abrams
Tallest man, 8'11".. Woman, 7'7". Heaviest, 1,400 lbs. Thanks to Richard Simmons help, Rosalie Bradford went from 1,199 lbs to 200 lbs. a weight loss record for women at 999 lbs. Heaviest baby ever born, 22 lbs, ouch.
For his wife's birthday, a hubby bought her a dress two sizes too small to encourage her to lose weight, adding, "I look forward to seeing you in it." For his birthday, she bought him a coffin.
Many years ago, I shingled (by my lonesome, it was a money thing!) the roof of our three story house by tying myself to a rope attached to the chimney on the other end. Now, I don't think there is any 'test' rope that would hold me.
And "Oh, OK, for you perverts that've been waiting":
The 6th grade science teacher asked her class "Which human body part increases to ten times it's size when stimulated?" No one answered Finally, little Mary stood up and said "You should not be asking 6th graders questions like that! I'm going to tell my parents, then the principal, who will then fire you!"
The teacher ignored Mary, and asked the question again - and again it was met with silenece. She followed with "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously and said "The body part that increases to ten times it's size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
"Very good Billy" the teacher replied, then glared at Mary and said "As for you young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework, and Three, one day you're going to be very disappointed."
Size matters. Damnit darnit.
Love, Victurd
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
It's only words, and words are all I've got...
New kid (19-ish) interviewed with bossman for a job at the golf course where I work part time. "He's pretty shy.. nervous., literally twitching as we visited... I told him to relax, we have fun here." To me, those are good signs.. he cared about how he came off.. he didn't wanna screw up (versus someone who simply wants to screw off)... So, boss called School where he went. "Oh yea, great kid, you won't have any problems with him."
First day on job, I was fortunate to be there as the trainer kinda-sorta (more about kinda-sorta later.) He was just that. Shy. Caring. Didn't wanna mess up. I told stupid jokes, finally got a smile (more later about smile), then a laugh (that too)... soon, some comfort set in, we talked about college, and what his goal is... "Journalism." This excited me. A young gun, ANXIOUS to go learn, eventually work in a field with great return and utterly low pay.
He spoke "Went to Maryville one semester.. Now at Maple Woods" (Loved this too as I jumped in with "Me too!").. "Not sure where I'll go next.." "MIZZOU! They've got the greatest Journalism school around." "Can't do that.. mom won't lemme... entire family is/are KU fans." Bummer, maybe more on KU later.
So... his work morning was shortened by the need to go attend a Composition class. Thus, this blog was prompted by the word composition. I watched him walkout the door and I gleefully thought about all the words he's gonna share, opine in his lifetime.
Composition turned to words.. Words turned to "what are some favorites" and "least favorites." My take:
Of course God is first. Then I think smile is next. Been to way too many funerals, but the ones that draw the most tears, heart tugs, feel goods, feel sorrys, are, for people that smiled more times than not. Smiling on the outside, life be damn you, I will not allow you to effect (or is that affect) my outside. Smile = yummy.
Yummy is up there too. Yes, of course the male pig version, but too, anything that's fervent, uplifting, something that leaves one emotionally spent, but in a good way.
S'more on the Yours Truly WHB Top Forty list: passion, fervor, hubba hubba, oh baby oh baby (yes, I realize them ain't ONE word, still, hopefully you get the point.) Kinda-sorta, is wonderful for issuing one's opine (I likes opine too). Kinda-sorta is a way to state one's belief, beliefs, without hopefully peeving one off - yet, it's bassackwardly emphatic in "sorry, that's the way I feel."
Flashmob (creativity, organization, feel, yum, without monetary reward - what better?).. Words in the newspaper that have ya glued to the article, seeing "continued on page _" and you anxiously, excitedly turn the page, find it's almost a full page, you happily refold the paper - and continue in the feel good absorption of the words you're enjoying.
Not long after the kid left for Composition class. my boss said "Vic, it's kinda slow, do you mind clocking out?" "Nope." I must notta put the emphasis, passion, fervor on my answer, cause he asked "Are you mad?" Mad? Retirement = laziness (earned, my take).. Clocking out means nap. It's what retired people do I've learned. "No, I'm not mad.. only two things make me mad.. Tailgaters and arrogance.."
There, there's some words I ain't too fond of. Fish is one too. Aside from the fact the simple smell of fish makes me wanna run headfirst to the urinal bowl to upchuck - I no likey 'fish' as a technique some use to play the game "Ain't it awful", or, attempting to get your goat. I don't have a goat, don't want one, but pisses me off when people try to get it.
There's a buddy I love (born bred in Missouri, transplanted Kansan), but he continually posts things anti-Missouri, arrogantly pro-Kansas with the ease of a Zebco 33, and the frequency of trout fisherman lining the banks of Roaring River on opening day.. Sometimes he hooks me, I play the fool, but usually I try very bravely to not allow him to get my goat.
A few more yucky ones (yuck is a 'fav' unfavorite word): Death. Divorce. "I mean" when starting a sentence.. what if they don't preface with "I mean" in their next sentence? Congressional debate. My way or the highway (Fox News and/or CNN, real shitty bosses)... Uppity. Judgment. Victor, you just judged by stating 'uppity.' Uh huh, did, you see, blogging allows one to talk outta both sides of the mouth.
I anxiously await the day someone says "I simply want to treat all people the same" insteada "from the CEO to the Janitor", "from the trainer to the star quarterback", etc. Victor, you were doing OK on words you like, why don't you switch back? Good idea, I'll switch back:
Hound. Feline. Friend. Townie. Nostalgia. Kid. Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad. Baseball. Football. America. Truth. Compliment. Humility. Colors, all. Rainbows. Beautiful. Fun. Snickerfritz. Human. Delightful. Magnificent. Sunshine. Gobbledygook. Doohickey. Gadzooks. Goosebumps. Heebie-jeebie. Self deprecation. Mouthwatering. Heavenly.
Fart. Such a powerful word. Fart makes children giggle and coworkers run.
What are some of your favorite words? What ones conjure the need to vomit? When's the last time you farted, and did anyone else hear it?
Good luck to that young man and his quest for a lifetime of words.
A lover of lyrics and levity from (and for) Liberty, Victurd
First day on job, I was fortunate to be there as the trainer kinda-sorta (more about kinda-sorta later.) He was just that. Shy. Caring. Didn't wanna mess up. I told stupid jokes, finally got a smile (more later about smile), then a laugh (that too)... soon, some comfort set in, we talked about college, and what his goal is... "Journalism." This excited me. A young gun, ANXIOUS to go learn, eventually work in a field with great return and utterly low pay.
He spoke "Went to Maryville one semester.. Now at Maple Woods" (Loved this too as I jumped in with "Me too!").. "Not sure where I'll go next.." "MIZZOU! They've got the greatest Journalism school around." "Can't do that.. mom won't lemme... entire family is/are KU fans." Bummer, maybe more on KU later.
So... his work morning was shortened by the need to go attend a Composition class. Thus, this blog was prompted by the word composition. I watched him walkout the door and I gleefully thought about all the words he's gonna share, opine in his lifetime.
Composition turned to words.. Words turned to "what are some favorites" and "least favorites." My take:
Of course God is first. Then I think smile is next. Been to way too many funerals, but the ones that draw the most tears, heart tugs, feel goods, feel sorrys, are, for people that smiled more times than not. Smiling on the outside, life be damn you, I will not allow you to effect (or is that affect) my outside. Smile = yummy.
Yummy is up there too. Yes, of course the male pig version, but too, anything that's fervent, uplifting, something that leaves one emotionally spent, but in a good way.
S'more on the Yours Truly WHB Top Forty list: passion, fervor, hubba hubba, oh baby oh baby (yes, I realize them ain't ONE word, still, hopefully you get the point.) Kinda-sorta, is wonderful for issuing one's opine (I likes opine too). Kinda-sorta is a way to state one's belief, beliefs, without hopefully peeving one off - yet, it's bassackwardly emphatic in "sorry, that's the way I feel."
Flashmob (creativity, organization, feel, yum, without monetary reward - what better?).. Words in the newspaper that have ya glued to the article, seeing "continued on page _" and you anxiously, excitedly turn the page, find it's almost a full page, you happily refold the paper - and continue in the feel good absorption of the words you're enjoying.
Not long after the kid left for Composition class. my boss said "Vic, it's kinda slow, do you mind clocking out?" "Nope." I must notta put the emphasis, passion, fervor on my answer, cause he asked "Are you mad?" Mad? Retirement = laziness (earned, my take).. Clocking out means nap. It's what retired people do I've learned. "No, I'm not mad.. only two things make me mad.. Tailgaters and arrogance.."
There, there's some words I ain't too fond of. Fish is one too. Aside from the fact the simple smell of fish makes me wanna run headfirst to the urinal bowl to upchuck - I no likey 'fish' as a technique some use to play the game "Ain't it awful", or, attempting to get your goat. I don't have a goat, don't want one, but pisses me off when people try to get it.
There's a buddy I love (born bred in Missouri, transplanted Kansan), but he continually posts things anti-Missouri, arrogantly pro-Kansas with the ease of a Zebco 33, and the frequency of trout fisherman lining the banks of Roaring River on opening day.. Sometimes he hooks me, I play the fool, but usually I try very bravely to not allow him to get my goat.
A few more yucky ones (yuck is a 'fav' unfavorite word): Death. Divorce. "I mean" when starting a sentence.. what if they don't preface with "I mean" in their next sentence? Congressional debate. My way or the highway (Fox News and/or CNN, real shitty bosses)... Uppity. Judgment. Victor, you just judged by stating 'uppity.' Uh huh, did, you see, blogging allows one to talk outta both sides of the mouth.
I anxiously await the day someone says "I simply want to treat all people the same" insteada "from the CEO to the Janitor", "from the trainer to the star quarterback", etc. Victor, you were doing OK on words you like, why don't you switch back? Good idea, I'll switch back:
Hound. Feline. Friend. Townie. Nostalgia. Kid. Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad. Baseball. Football. America. Truth. Compliment. Humility. Colors, all. Rainbows. Beautiful. Fun. Snickerfritz. Human. Delightful. Magnificent. Sunshine. Gobbledygook. Doohickey. Gadzooks. Goosebumps. Heebie-jeebie. Self deprecation. Mouthwatering. Heavenly.
Fart. Such a powerful word. Fart makes children giggle and coworkers run.
What are some of your favorite words? What ones conjure the need to vomit? When's the last time you farted, and did anyone else hear it?
Good luck to that young man and his quest for a lifetime of words.
A lover of lyrics and levity from (and for) Liberty, Victurd
Tuesday, July 09, 2019
Paper or plastic?..... or.. Papas got a brand new bag...
Bag:
A container made of flexible material with an opening at the top for carrying things.
One's particular interest or taste.
Put something in a bag.
(Of a hunter) succeed in killing or catching an animal.
Bag, to me, is a fun word. Mom's bag, as a kid, meant nearby Mercurochrome, Kleenex, quarters for ice cream, band aids, comb, yada.
"Lettin' the cat ourra the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers
I never under$tood "Coach" bags. I've always felt "rich in life" but, not so much in bank balance. Beyond me why anyone would spend $300 for a handbag, but then again, I ain't everyone. I always associate "Coach" with Po', cause I was a coach, and I was Po' (My first teaching coaching contract was for $9800 a year...ie, coach = Po'.)
"Just get a bag and drop a dream in it, and you'll be surprised what happens." Charles Nelson Reilly
The Piggly Wiggly. Some lanes gots baggers. Some ain't. The express lane (10 items max where folks bring 23 items and you glare at them) ain't got no baggers, so the clerk does it too. Speakinowhich, howintheheck do they stay on their feet so long with no breaks? I'm old. I pee. I pee a lot. I pee oftern. No way could I do that. Well, I guess if I had Depends on, but that congers up bad bag thoughts, 'feelings', so let's not go there.
Ya go to Aldi's, you gotta bring your own bags, and bag your own groceries. I always forget a quarter, so I never go there.
I probably will never be friends with Elvis, cause I ain't never caught a rabbit, nor have I ever gone hunting. BUT, I have 'bagged' three deer (One, with a Pinto Station Wagon, Two, with a Dodge Dart, Three with a Pontiac Grand Prix). Bambi/bumpers don't mix.
In college, where it took a bag of money to be there, strangely, we'd bag class. That's like paying for a smorgasbord and saying "no thanks, I ain't hungry" but we did it, we bagged classes.
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." Leonardo di Vinci (Hey, watch it Vinny, MANY a happy ever-after couple out there!) "Oh yeah? Then why are them Cordell and Cordell brothers so damn rich?" Vinny
Some, no know when to shutup (windbags). As we age, we get saddlebags. The hell they come from? Teabag, beanbag, toolbag, fleabag, mailbag, scumbag, dirtbag, sleazebag, and, the guy with 23 items in the Express lane, douchebag.
Years ago it was "Are you ready for the (man) bag?" Oh the times they are a changin',.. The original "Are you ready for the bag", to many, carried bad connotations. Nomme. I had a long list of hero Doctors that long before carried a bag: Marcus Welby, Doc on Gunsmoke, Hawkeye, Trapper John, Ben Casey, Dr. Kildare, yada. A local hero was Doc Bowles, he always carried a bag.
No Doctor around, and getting hit in the bag... Nope, we men could never resemble anything close to the pain involved in childbirth, but getting hit in the bag'll bring you down to your knees faster'n a Catholic Mass. Redface, veins exposed, lowpitch turned to highpitched, suffice to say "Ouch." Profanity is permitted and encouraged in these instances.
"What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then, he hit me in the balls with a hammer." Rodney Dangerfield
Terrorism has changed the view of the bag. Awhile back, "45" came to Kansas City.. .Went with a friend.. took some water in a bag cooler, set it on the ground. Cops, here, there, everywhere. One came up to me.. "Is that your bag?" Yessir. "You need to pick it up because Captain said we need to confiscate every unattended bag." A truly sad statement about us, today.
The golf bag. 14 clubs max is the legal limit, but oh so many other things are/can be stored in there. The mundane: golf balls, tees, rain gear, pencils, water bottle, USGA Rule book (Ha!), sunscreen, bugspray, yada.. The more, mebbe amusing golf bag items, 2 year old full cans of PBR, year old half-eaten cookies, one guy pulled out a new ball and a condom fell out.. nudie tees, banana peel...
MY golf bag. Scroll to Po'. I've never gone to Nebraska Furniture Mart and bought an entire room of matching furniture (sofa, loveseat, chairs, coffee table, end tables, matching pictures, yada.) My golf bag has 14 clubs, maybe 2 of which are from the same set. I suffer from "Well, if I buy that new (chipper, driver, 3-wood, hybrid, putter, yada) I will become better." So, a mixed bag. Mebbe there is correlation to different lengths, styles, age, flex/non-flex and my really crappy ability. Oh well, I still enjoy the game.
Mixed bag = story of my life. Come to think of it, maybe story of everyone's life.
BRB, going to check and see if I've got cucumbers, or tea bags, or parsley, or oats, or an avacado, or almonds (mixed with milk).. all things helpful for baggy eyes.
There's even a website where you can order bags that have positive quotes written on them. Among them "Wake up, be awesome, Repeat."... "Create happiness.".... "Broken crayons still color."... "Never a failure, always a lesson."
He ain't no drag. Papa's got a brand new bag.
Love, Victurd
A container made of flexible material with an opening at the top for carrying things.
One's particular interest or taste.
Put something in a bag.
(Of a hunter) succeed in killing or catching an animal.
Bag, to me, is a fun word. Mom's bag, as a kid, meant nearby Mercurochrome, Kleenex, quarters for ice cream, band aids, comb, yada.
"Lettin' the cat ourra the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers
I never under$tood "Coach" bags. I've always felt "rich in life" but, not so much in bank balance. Beyond me why anyone would spend $300 for a handbag, but then again, I ain't everyone. I always associate "Coach" with Po', cause I was a coach, and I was Po' (My first teaching coaching contract was for $9800 a year...ie, coach = Po'.)
"Just get a bag and drop a dream in it, and you'll be surprised what happens." Charles Nelson Reilly
The Piggly Wiggly. Some lanes gots baggers. Some ain't. The express lane (10 items max where folks bring 23 items and you glare at them) ain't got no baggers, so the clerk does it too. Speakinowhich, howintheheck do they stay on their feet so long with no breaks? I'm old. I pee. I pee a lot. I pee oftern. No way could I do that. Well, I guess if I had Depends on, but that congers up bad bag thoughts, 'feelings', so let's not go there.
Ya go to Aldi's, you gotta bring your own bags, and bag your own groceries. I always forget a quarter, so I never go there.
I probably will never be friends with Elvis, cause I ain't never caught a rabbit, nor have I ever gone hunting. BUT, I have 'bagged' three deer (One, with a Pinto Station Wagon, Two, with a Dodge Dart, Three with a Pontiac Grand Prix). Bambi/bumpers don't mix.
In college, where it took a bag of money to be there, strangely, we'd bag class. That's like paying for a smorgasbord and saying "no thanks, I ain't hungry" but we did it, we bagged classes.
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." Leonardo di Vinci (Hey, watch it Vinny, MANY a happy ever-after couple out there!) "Oh yeah? Then why are them Cordell and Cordell brothers so damn rich?" Vinny
Some, no know when to shutup (windbags). As we age, we get saddlebags. The hell they come from? Teabag, beanbag, toolbag, fleabag, mailbag, scumbag, dirtbag, sleazebag, and, the guy with 23 items in the Express lane, douchebag.
Years ago it was "Are you ready for the (man) bag?" Oh the times they are a changin',.. The original "Are you ready for the bag", to many, carried bad connotations. Nomme. I had a long list of hero Doctors that long before carried a bag: Marcus Welby, Doc on Gunsmoke, Hawkeye, Trapper John, Ben Casey, Dr. Kildare, yada. A local hero was Doc Bowles, he always carried a bag.
No Doctor around, and getting hit in the bag... Nope, we men could never resemble anything close to the pain involved in childbirth, but getting hit in the bag'll bring you down to your knees faster'n a Catholic Mass. Redface, veins exposed, lowpitch turned to highpitched, suffice to say "Ouch." Profanity is permitted and encouraged in these instances.
"What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then, he hit me in the balls with a hammer." Rodney Dangerfield
Terrorism has changed the view of the bag. Awhile back, "45" came to Kansas City.. .Went with a friend.. took some water in a bag cooler, set it on the ground. Cops, here, there, everywhere. One came up to me.. "Is that your bag?" Yessir. "You need to pick it up because Captain said we need to confiscate every unattended bag." A truly sad statement about us, today.
The golf bag. 14 clubs max is the legal limit, but oh so many other things are/can be stored in there. The mundane: golf balls, tees, rain gear, pencils, water bottle, USGA Rule book (Ha!), sunscreen, bugspray, yada.. The more, mebbe amusing golf bag items, 2 year old full cans of PBR, year old half-eaten cookies, one guy pulled out a new ball and a condom fell out.. nudie tees, banana peel...
MY golf bag. Scroll to Po'. I've never gone to Nebraska Furniture Mart and bought an entire room of matching furniture (sofa, loveseat, chairs, coffee table, end tables, matching pictures, yada.) My golf bag has 14 clubs, maybe 2 of which are from the same set. I suffer from "Well, if I buy that new (chipper, driver, 3-wood, hybrid, putter, yada) I will become better." So, a mixed bag. Mebbe there is correlation to different lengths, styles, age, flex/non-flex and my really crappy ability. Oh well, I still enjoy the game.
Mixed bag = story of my life. Come to think of it, maybe story of everyone's life.
BRB, going to check and see if I've got cucumbers, or tea bags, or parsley, or oats, or an avacado, or almonds (mixed with milk).. all things helpful for baggy eyes.
There's even a website where you can order bags that have positive quotes written on them. Among them "Wake up, be awesome, Repeat."... "Create happiness.".... "Broken crayons still color."... "Never a failure, always a lesson."
He ain't no drag. Papa's got a brand new bag.
Love, Victurd
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