Monday, December 23, 2013

What I've learned in 62 years about Christmas.

It doesn't discriminate on age. It's fun at 2, 12, 22, 32, 42, 52, 62.

Some unexpected car/house repair, sickness or otherwise will happen, and happen shortly after you'd just counted all your beans and thought "I think I can purchase all I want to purchase this year!"

WalMart is filled with folks whose cart/person take up 6 (of 8) feet of aisle space, they're oblivious to it, so you turn around, take another aisle, go around 'em. The checkout aisle you select will need a price check, a scanner repair, or a management approval.

Will hear: I can't believe you've already got your tree up.... Christmas Carols so soon, really? We just went to your folks LAST year!

My cousin Roger had good hands (was QB and Point Guard in HS) and was telepathic. He could grab a present, feel it and know exactly what was inside. He NEVER missed, sometimes even relating the color.

Turns out, my father, and my two uncles were horrible bowlers. For years, we little ones would await (mostly patiently) their Christmas Eve arrival at Grannies - as they annually 'bowled', which later we learned was the bar, adjacent to the lanes.

Snow will happen, on or around. Cold will happen. Car doors will freeze. Travel will be rough, sliding on roads, flights cancelled/delayed, connections missed.

With every generation comes a period where the bottom third of the Christmas tree gets torn to smithereens. (Double that, if you own cats.)

Cedar, evergreen and fireplaces smell heavenly.

It's all about the kids, no matter your age or the age of the 'kid'. Love happens. There is a family bonding that can't be duplicated.

It takes 1/60th the amount of time to unwrap a present as it does to wrap it. Piles of paper happen, parts to toys will get lost. Parents who ain't mechanically inclined later will boil in frustration reading directions, putting together this or that.

Annually, I say a prayer for whomever has to work in the Customer Service Department 12/26.

Whatever was spent, however many miles were traveled, the woes within, in the end: all worth it.

Two more things: Oh yeah, the reason for the season. And.... Santa HAS to be a woman. No man could accomplish what 'he' does in a 24 hour period.

Merry Christmas, Victurd

Friday, December 06, 2013

Oh well

I so love this song. I challenge (nudge/encourage) you to click/listen/sit back/enjoy as you peruse..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfJqdhv5YZ8

I can't help about the shape I'm in
I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin
But don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to

Oh well

Stressy, we're all that. Shape, ours, ne'er perfect, happy. Bold, in "don't ask me what I think of you", more often thought out, wanted to say, ne'er said.

Now, when I talked to God I knew he'd understand
He said, "Stick by me and I'll be your guiding hand
But don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to"

Oh well

We kinda go through life with our brain wanting to say many things, but rare that we do.

If you by chance clicked the youtube link, after 2 minutes we're done verbiage of the song, and what remains for 7 minutes is heaven, peace, calm.

Eyes closed, relaxation. On the receiving end, massage table. Visiting yesteryear, yesterfolks, with smile. Those weeks, days, when things seemingly just go perfect. Proudness, happiness.

A look back. A look ahead. An appreciation for today.

A hot bath. A Jacuzzi. The sound of the ocean tide. The stream. Eyes closed, with smile - what better?

Harmony, in a world of difference. Not a pat on the back of our own-ness, but a resounding smile afforded by those around us.

Little ones, the happiness they bring - what better than to be in chair, feet on ottoman, entertained by their kinetic energy/motion/creativity/uniqueness.

This music starts at age 19, and in two minutes you're in reflection (60-something for us old farts)... Never perfection, but times/moments, where it is perfect, the smile we wear attests to it.

In our element. Our own, personal, private happiness -whatever the mode/method.

I'm biased. I think Fleetwood Mac folks are geniuses. To listen first time in a studio, one might think "you can't do that!"... Works. Well. Very well.

Music moves me, hope it does you as well... It likens life, shapes, moods. Those moments of happy reflection just before nodding off - yum.

This song wards off conflict, personal woes, worry about tomorrow.. yada.

I love it. Oh well. Love, Victurd.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

1195

I guess it's been 8 years now that I've force fed the internet blogging, 1195 times to be exact. Additionally, there are over a hundred more abandoned drafts saved to never be opened again.

Very much enjoyed reading folk's posts about what they are thankful for - and I too of course am thankful for friends, family, loved ones - life in general.

The blog thing, I am thankful for it as well.. When one is divorced, if you don't own a hound or a kitty - the only other person you can talk to is yourself, and the blog has allowed me to do that.

I've written whilst happy, whilst down, whilst broke, after a work bonus, tired, injured, healthy, pissed off/depressed (hence the "hundred more abandoned drafts [not put on Checkenginelight] never to be opened again"), perhaps written whilst a little tipsy, whilst dating someone, whilst "long dry spell" in that department.

It's been therapeutic, embarrassing, rewarding. Helped serve, occasionally, as my own shrink. A "for the most part" reminder, life ain't too damn bad.

I've had friends bring up posts I've done. I'm certain I've pissed some people off on things I've written - and I would guess, from some shoes, its my attempt for "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!".. I could address that, buy why?

After long periods without posting, I've even had friends ask "Are you ok?" Very basically, anything I write really isn't about me, or shouldn't be. It's more about life, the view from the bench, hopefully seeing/reporting all the good that is out there, and hoping that maybe somehow it can remind me of that - and sure, if by chance something said might lift, emote another - all the better.

I'm thankful for life in general. Below is the third blog I ever wrote. "Why post the 3rd one" you ask? Because I reread the first two today, was embarrassed (I'd dissed my ex), and.... was probably tipsy!

Happy Thanksgiving all... hope it's been grand. #1196. Love, Victurd.

July 5th, 2005, Blog #3:

Title: ENDS

"He pulled the cover off from over her, slowly knelt, kissed her cheek, covered her back up and without a word slowly walked away."


Ends are difficult. Every relationship ends. Of course, the depth and length of time varies - but they all end.

Had an email from a friend last night "Well, Mr. Perfect just pulled out in a U-Haul truck with everything he owns, headed for his three kids on the West Coast. My decision. Bummer."

Ends in dating hurt probably just as much as ends in marriage - but perhaps the length of hurt doesn't last as long. Since this "suddenly almost single" (I'm still separated) thing happened, I've had a few ends of my own. One said I was "too laid back"...... One said "you'll never stop smoking" < smart lady!

My own father. My mother had a massive stroke at age 57. Dad, a traveling sale's rep, quit his job... Got "D-tags", a small building to put his cars in (Missouri State law)... stayed at home, cared for my mother - inbetweengst polishing, detailing, pounding-out-dents from wholesalers he fixed up to sell to make ends meet. They made the best of a trying time.

I vividly remember two distinct sounds during that time observing my folk: "Mack the Knife" from my dads lungs, and the little handbell my father provided for my mother when she needed something. It wasn't a picture perfect end for them (mother passed of heart difficulties some 9 years later) - but they were happy - and I learned a lot from their end.

The very first date after "whatshername" was with a chicky much too young for me. Eh, you know, it's kinda like job hunting - you start out applying for jobs $20-30,000 more than you are probably worth, then eventually settle for reality. Anyways, I asked this gal of 34 (me - 48 at the time) "what do you want outta the resta your life?"............

She replied........."well..... I'm a nurse... and I work in the ER... Once... there was an 80 yr old couple in... the wife was having extreme difficulties with her heart... she literally died on the ER table twice - we brought her back each time... The doctor would go consult the elderly gentleman in the waiting room each time.... Finally... her heart gave out... She expired... The doctor turned to go tell the 80-something year old gentleman her fate... and when he did, the man rose.. sauntered into the ER... approached her bed...He pulled the cover off from over her, slowly knelt, kissed her cheek, covered her back up and without a word slowly walked away. That. That's what I want."

Wow. Pretty cool. This same 34-yr old chicky told me "you know, you're pretty nice looking for 48." Hehe, I didn't really know how to take that.. The next day I stood shaving in the bathroom. All done, I took that first swipe with my hand to my face wiping off the shaving cream. I noticed there was still an amount of shaving cream left upon my face - neatly tucked in the crevices afforded by 48 years of living. That very moment was the end to the 34-48 yr old thingy. Her words will stay with me forever though. Love, Victurd.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Chilled to the bone...

On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said "leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
That I was chilled to the bone

Chilled to the bone
Chilled to the bone
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Chilled to the bone


Give me 33610, 91911, 78520, 85250 (Tampa, San Diego, Brownsville, Scottsdale)

I broke a thousand snow shovels
before I got wise
I'll break a thousand more, maybe
Before I compromise
I wanna be warm every winter
Warm and home even if alone
I'm here to tell ya folks
That I'm chilled to the bone
Chilled to the bone
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Chilled to the bone


I would very much miss the four baby blue eyes, but hey, for 3-4 months a year, we can Skype, you can even come visit!

I'll make an old fart warm
I'll make a transplanted Missourian sweat
I'll make an old fart hot
And take a old fart outta harm
I wanna be warm bet your booty
Warm and home even if alone
I'm here to tell ya folks
That I'm chilled to the bone
Chilled to the bone
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Chilled to the bone


Besides, they say the female/male ratio in AZ is like 9 to 1, and even if they would be cougars, "I could go for that", but that's another song in and of itself for another day.

And when I walk the streets
Snow and Sleet step aside
Every winter I'll scoot
And I'll stay satisfied
I wanna tell ya Ole man Winter
Well Ya see I make my own
I'm here to tell ya fridgy
That I'm chilled to the bone
Chilled to the bone
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chilled
Chilled to the bone


I ain't sure when 'retirement' will be, prolly 5 more years. The Good Lord willing, I'm buying a motor home and getting the hell outta Dodge come November. I'm hear to tell ya, I'm chilled to the bone. Love, Victurd.




Sunday, November 10, 2013

Who'da thunk it?


First, wanna get the Incognito thing behind us, or somehow have it meet an end, even if imperfectly. I hope (and believe) I speak for 99.9% of us who grew up in small towns in the 50's, 60's where bullying was taken care of (rather than fearing to jump in and stop), and us people of all people, were friends, regardless of race. That is, towns/people, without hate, without prejudice.

But then... (Victor, again, you CAN'T start a sentence with 'but'!)

But then... there were things we didn't like. Such as: KU. The Raiders. The New York Yankees. Folks from our longtime rival town - Excelsior. Any fraternity other than the one you were in. Even, yes, the other political side.

As I/we age - something happens (in a good sense) - and we revisit dislikes with an open mind - and turn the corner from 'learned dislike' to observed/like.

But then.. (VICTOR!)... who'da thunk one would be moved by an article on the former head football coach of the 'patooey' KU Jayhawks? Me I guess.

After his dismissal for alleged mistreatment of players - soul searching happened. "He reconnected with old friends,even recalled 'some people I thought might not like me; I thought that was the right thing to do.' He started to listen more, he said, and talk less."

How powerful is that? "Listen more, and talk less." I'd like to think age teaches us that.

Mangino (aka, former KU football coach) is now spending oodles of time with his grandkids.. "happy to do it as a way to give back time he never quite had enough of for his own two children."

He resisted the urge to get back into coaching two years ago ("the most important move I've made in my career") when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. One day, for treatment, he wanted to drive his wife to the doctor - she insisted she could do it alone - then later called him in distress on the way home as clumps of her hair were falling out. So,

what's he do? He immediately goes and shaves his own head in a show of support to surprise her.

This condensed version of the article doesn't do the man justice - so, if per chance, ya getta chance please go read the article: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/09/4609966/three-years-after-ku-mark-mangino.html

He speaks of having time 'to learn from others, to study others, to study myself.".. Lessons from others: "If you're waiting for your ship to come in, forget it. You've got to go swim out to it."

On Bill Snyder (whom he worked for at K-State) "He never thought there was any problem you couldn't find a solution for. Some take longer than others. He'd sit around for hours thinking about ways to solve a problem." Could we learn from this? Certainly, in every facet of life: marriage, parenting, education, government, world peace/relations.

Mangino continued "You know all of these people that I worked for in my life? There's one other coach that I learned a lot from in life, and it's kind of funny. You know who it is? It's me. You have to learn from yourself. You have to learn your own weaknesses and strengths - if you want to improve in your career, you have to improve as a person."

"I don't care how old you are or how young you are; I don't care if you're a ditchdigger or a millionaire, there's room for improvement and you can get better. No matter what your lot in life is, you can improve. Even a guy like me."

Apologetically, I (Victurd) express regret for my former dislikes. Each and every person I've met from our High School arch-rival Excelsior is a quality, quality person and I love 'em. My best friend at work is a diehard Yankee's fan. Two days ago I "tilted one" with my buddy, the staunch Oakland Raider's fan. I've recently hit 'Like' on a couple of buddies (from 'other' fraternities) FB postings and treasure their friendship. Politically, I was recently sitting next to "one of the G brothers", he taught ME, "Vic, we may disagree on some things, but friends for life, period." Now, I find myself applauding an article on a guy from KU.

Reckon there's truth in talking less, listening more. Had I done that years earlier - it would have awakened me that 'perceived dislikes' ain't always that.

Love, Victurd.



Saturday, November 02, 2013

I'm positive, I think.


One of the three readers of this blog suggested writing about:

"list of things you do want to see? What are the things not seen frequently enough, things never seen, things to dream of seeing?"

Tough assignment, #1 because I was a C+ student. Sounds kinda like being asked to do the play-by-play at a football game with 20/60 vision. The cubicle person giving the corporate financial report. I am not worthy. I'll try.

What I want to see? Sadly, color, for some, is still an issue - I don't feel we will ever see where it's not an issue (for all)... Perhaps the only way for that to happen is for love/loving/marriage/proliferation to the point one day where everyone is the same color, and I'm not naïve enough to think that will ever happen... but, you asked "dream of seeing?" (Victor, are you saying a white person couldn't be with a white person? No red with red, black with black, etc? No, no, no, not what I meant. I simply strive for a way "to see" it ain't an issue)..

I'd love to see all religions teaching love of mankind, even those with other religious (or non-religious) beliefs.

I understand brilliant people have designed a car that can drive itself. Many are gone from accidents, many injured suffer every day since - I'd love to see an accident free way to transport. Yes, perhaps letting go of a freedom, but the benefits would far outweigh that. I could sacrifice that freedom for being able to go to bed and not worry about children, grandchildren, friends, loved ones.

In some respects. a lotta the junk from the blog that prompted this ("I'd be ok if I never saw again") translate to things I want to see.. a cure for cancer.. a handle on crime (street, business, government)..

I want to see people give it their all before divorcing, perhaps even have a mandatory one year 'engagement period.' Oft times (not always, I'm aware), it's no longer the covenant it once was.

I'd like to see less separation of the economic classes. My C+, 20/60 vision has no answer on 'how', but if we can build a GD (gosh darn) car that can drive itself, surely there are brilliant minds out there to help with this.

I'd love to see every person that is diabetic to have access to insulin. Every person who needs dialysis, access to it. Every depressed person - counseling, and meds if needed. A hearing aid for those that can't. A doctor for an ill child. Very basically, sick people: access to assistance.

Our soldiers home. Worldwide peace.

Want to see? Never seen? Dream of seeing? I can certainly be selfish here. Cooperstown. The four dead guys in granite. Guys night out. The golf course. A Flash Mob, even better, maybe participate in one. I wanna go on a cruise (never been) and prove that "it is possible for two to shower at once in one of those 'locker-sized' cruise ship showers." Maui (again). A mate, whose as much into me as I am her.

I would love "every day life" as part of the curriculum in every school district:

*Have kids spend a few hours on-site in various professions. Bring in three old people. One who has prepared, saved well. One, so-so. And one, strictly on Social Security. Tour their homes. Help them go over their monthly budgets. Hindsight, yes, I've not planned the greatest. Yes, aware "hard to relate being retired when you're 9, 12 or 17" but can't hurt to infuse in school plan. (I left two professions, education, airline, where I could be drawing a retirement right now had I not chosen to depart. I blame me for that, but ya know, maybe had I had "that class project", I wouldn't have left either.)

*Have kids attend a wedding. Talk to the bride-groom one on one about "how they arrived there".. Attend divorce court, visit with each about how they got there. (Understand the impact of "He/she slept with my best friend." "He/she hits me, verbally abuses me."
Even the impact of things as simple as "I grew tired of being the one that cooked, cleaned, dealt with the children."

*Tour a home where grandparents are raising three children. Bring in happy people that are motivational speakers, have them expound on why they're happy, what it's done for them. Go to a prison, have a one on one with a lifer. Go back to class, discuss the difference between the examples.

*I've been detached from education for quite some time - so, if any of the above plans are already in motion in schools, no harm intended. I simply would love to see more time spent on life's lessons, than an Isosceles Triangle, Iambic pentameter, or onomatopoeia.

I'm being boring, but that's ok. I prefer the focus on others, as in "yes, would like to see that into the future." Sure, it's a perk any time someone comes here (to the blog), but I go back to the initial purpose: to me, for me (to remind myself to chose happy)..

There is much right in life, for that I am thankful, and want/expect to continue to see. I know I will continue to see good people, and try to learn from them. I want to see animal lovers loving their animals. Loving parents loving their children. Loving children loving their parents.

There is no magical prophecy within me. If I could simply live life out seeing, being happy, I'm good with that. If I could see me never being a burden on another as I continue to age, perfect. I haven't the excess funds to pay it forward financially - so I want to observe others that are giving (in the same financial boat) and learn from their ways.

I'm a simpleton. C+ with 20/60. (The truth is I think I have 20/20 vision. I had cataracts at age 54, so I now have one lens for close-up, one lens for far-away <-- like to see more miracles like that.)

Simple, happy, works/wins. I'd like to see, live that. Nothing earth-shattering, all knowing, but simply the sufficient spoon to stir my pudding. Love, Victurd.

Friday, November 01, 2013

Note to self.........


Examine the lock of your bathroom door (in advance).

Daily routine. 5:20am alarm. Say "ha ha", hit snooze. Say "ha ha" one more time (twice if I'm really sleepy), then lumber out of bed.

Listen to Joel Nichols so I'll know how to dress for the weather.. check email, FB, wing 'likes' at creativity, beautiful children... cig/coffee.

6:00am. Go to bathroom. This timea year, take space heater in, plug it in, get it stoked. Start bath water. Exit, close door so heat will stay in.

More Joel/Donna/Chris, another cig, wander the internet.

6:04am, grab new pair of undies (or flip dependent upon the day), go take bath.

Oh shit.

Door locked. Panic. I don't even know the main # to the apartment complex I live in, let alone the emergency #. (2nd note to self).

More panic. "I wonder how close the water is to overflowing?". Google "Cherokee Apartments", write down phone number, run to living room where my smart phone that's been acting stupid is plugged in. Nada. No 'charge light', no nuttin'. Shit.

Grab nail. Stick it in that little hole in the lock. Nope. Grab screwdriver, frantically pushing, pulling, flipping up, flipping down. Nope.

Ask one's self "If it does overflow, runs over, and invades the privacy of my space heater, could I get electrocuted on this sidea the door as the water trickles through?

Wake up neighbor, have 'em call 911? (3rd note to self: Always wear something en route to the restroom).

Last gasp: pry screwdriver between the edge of the door and the lock.

YES! (4th note to self: It's perfectly ok to laugh at yourself).

Love, Victurd.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I'd be ok if I never-ever again saw.......

One thing about being a grandparent....... you can have fun..... my one and two year old grandbabies are seemingly interested in me... and they'll walk up and say "beemare-ahh-djuso-abgu-apaalo"... and, knowing what's been said ABSOLUTELY makes sense to them, I reply "Yeah? Tuesday?... Cool"... or similar.

I enjoy/love my DIL. We will strap the kiddos in the car for a quick run to the Piggly Wiggly, and as we reach the front door and I drop her off, I turn to g-kids (Remember: they don't have any idea what I'm saying) I tell them matter-of-factly "Mommy's leaving, and she's never coming back"... Shock value was pretty darn good the first time I winged it.. DIL laughed... Not so much now.

Of course I'm joshing, and DIL knows that.. much as she knows when the oldest has a terrible two fit, lays on the floor at WallyWorld screaming because she doesn't understand money, and me having to take the .50 cent sucker from her hand, hand it to the cashier so she can scan it, THEN she'll get it back. In the next three fitful minutes, every answer is "NO!".. So... I play.. "Can I have a kiss?" "NO!"... You want to hop back up in the cart? (I always flip the cart around so it's going in the direction she can see) "NO!!!!"..... "You want a hundred dollars?" "NO!!!!!!!!".. (Don't worry Conservatives, one day she too will be on FB, and you can help educate her on the importance of personal finance.)

Ok, sorry... all a preface to the intent: "Never-ever see again".......

My list:

Death. Traffic Tailgaters. Rain/snow whilst driving. A political FB post. Cancer. An ill child. A shooting/stabbing, on any street, in any town. Molestation. Rape. Assault.

Sushi. A Vinson Mortgage commercial. Video of me saying "til death do us part" a third time. Bill Self. That 'bird'. Mayonnaise. Another Hearing Aid or Burial Plot advertisement in my mailbox. (How do they know?)..

The DMV. One cashier at the Dollar Tree. A lady (or man) with 63 items in the Express ("20 items or less") lane at Wally World.

A shelter animal. A crotch rocket on I-435 doing 95 mph. A customer service person who doesn't get it. A vendor with an attitude. My reflection, mostly sideways, in the mirror.

A homeless person (then, they would all have homes).. Tsunami, earthquake, tornado, flood, avalanche, wild fire...

Sad crying. Suicide. The effects thereafter. Divorce, without 'grabbing the other by the collars' to make sure they know the severity/importance of what you are saying, trying twice as hard to 'stay in it' as it took to get in it.

Deer in the headlights. Pile of laundry. Cable/Gas/Electric bills. Smart phone that decides after a year it's stupid. IT 'upgrades/enhancements' which hide the most essential tools/needs, but now mandating one to click nine times for what usedta take four clicks.

Bias. Prejudice. Harassment. Bullying. Depression. Feelings of inferiority. The announcement of how much a pro baseball/football/basketball player just signed for. Knowing the cost of a ticket to go see the aforementioned.

Flies, wasps, cicadas, mosquitos, bees, ants, roaches, spiders, snakes, raccoons, rats..

The pressure of management... the open window, wind chimes of the lady in our 'building'(@ work) that drives 12 of the 13 of us batso.

World hunger. Terrorism. Atrocity. Starvation. Misspelling of the words you're/your, sense/since, quiet/quite, separate/seperate, truly/truely, weird/wierd, lose/loose, they're/their/there, definitely/definately.

Pop ups. Auto-correct. User ID's, logins. Users. People in need who get a bad rap due to users. People who blog on AND on, when it's probably time to stop.

Love, Victurd.



Sunday, October 20, 2013

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'

Wikipedia notes:

Nothing is a pronoun associated with nothingness.[1] In nontechnical uses, nothing denotes things lacking importance, interest, value, relevance, or significance.[1] Nothingness is the state of being nothing,[2] the state of nonexistence of anything, or the property of having nothing.

"What areya doin'?"......"Nuthin.... you?"........ Room full of young, rambunctious youths, LOUD noises, giggling, you sprint from the next room "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"....... Their batted eyed reply "Nothing." Uh huh, sure.

Checking account, nothing, been there. Dating life, nothing, am there. Softball game, nothing for four, been there. "He don't know nothing" said at break by a good friend. "Where'd you go to school," I ask, "Grandview?" (As I knew she had).. She's nothing but nice though.

No pot to piss in, nothing.

The Devil is greater than nothing. Nothing is greater than God. Therefore, the Devil is greater than God. HEY! Wait a minute, that ain't right!

Nothing. ( ), [ ], { }. Nada. Zero. Comes before One so you don't even say it. Empty. "All gone." Absent. Void. Vacuum. Seinfeld's show, known as "A show about nothing."

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed
Eminem.

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein

Nothing bugs me more than ___________. Cheer by high school snotnoses at basketball game "YOU AIN'T..(clap clap) NUTHIN." The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

I've mentioned before, I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome.

This evening, Peyton Manning returns to Indianapolis where he had a long, storied, successful stay. Peyton will probably go down in history as the best quarterback EVER. The list above him is nothing. Four MVP trophies, a Super Bowl, a scazillion passing yards, TD's, clutch victories, comebacks. Jim Irsay, owner of the Colts blabbed this week (paraphrasing) "I'm disappointed we only won one Super Bowl with Peyton" and then reeled off a list of teams with multiple Super Bowl wins in the time Peyton was there.

The purpose of this whole damn blog is Peyton's reply.

Nothing.

Denver's coach John Fox, after hearing Irsay said "I saw the comments. And to be honest with you, I thought it was a bit of a cheap shot," Fox said during an interview on SiriusXM NFL Radio. "To me, in my opinion, they were disappointing and inappropriate. Peyton would never say anything. He's too classy to do that."

I, of course, will always come with a reply if it's in regard to the KU/MU rivalry - but Peyton's actions (er, actually no action) teaches.

We've all had 'hurtful' winged in our direction. Please bless me/you, into the future, to respond using Peyton's example. Catch that Victor? Sometimes the best response is NOTHING.

Our Kansas City Chiefs are 6-0, as are Peyton Manning's Broncos. I should root for Indy tonight, but I ain't. I hope Peyton goes in and kicks butt. Nothing would please me more.

That's it. Much ado about nothing. Love, Victurd.



Sunday, October 13, 2013

Autumnal...

I love October. Orange. Jacket mornings. Sneaking in another round of golf before Mother Nature's other ideas in the coming months..

Floats, parades, marching bands, football players on a fire truck, Homecoming Queens crowned. Kids in tuxes, gals in long dresses, the cost of a limo split (or dad's best car).. dining at places that one dines at only once a year.. Maybe even first kisses.

Breast Cancer awareness month. Pink wristbands, shoes, undershirts... memories, memorials of those gone - research/funding, SURVIVORS, and hope 'the bastard' is one day in our rear view mirror.

Bill Cosby says October is his favorite month because the flies get slow. Victor, you've told that one before. Bite me, I'm in the autumnal stage of my life.

Candy, candy, and more candy. Costumes: Goblins, ghosts, supermen, Beetlejuice, Duck Dynasty, Batman, Dora, Strawberry Shortcake, Grumpy cat, Gatsby, Walking Dead, Miley Cyrus - please just say no, Twerk or Treat? Tired parents/grandparents - little ones running like sixty, two hours past their bedtime. Pillow cases filled for good eating for darn near til December. Yum. Halloween. That day of freedom when mom/dad FINALLY let you go alone. Memories of going to the richest homes as a kid - "Can you believe it? A FULL SIZED SNICKERS!"

The crack of the bat, banners, full stadiums, mega media attention, tense moments, manager's decisions, great plays, big hits, heads down, high fives up - The Word Series.

Football, tailgating, the Chiefs, high hopes early in the season, a ticket - hopefully in an area in the sun. Folks in their 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, etc - hoopin', hollerin', a three hour chance to relive, behave once again - as a child.

October deserves 31 days. That certain period where you get to go to the thermostat, click the air off - windows open to allow 'outside - in' as if to say "HA! Take that KCP&L/MGE!"..

Colors. Colors abound. Changing shades of brown, orange, burnt orange, reds, fading reds - wonder.

"DEER!!!! LOOKOUT!" Bambi/fenders and bumpers vulnerable, the rut is on.

Test the furnace, check the antifreeze, get the heavy coats outta the mothballs (do people still do that?), batten down the hatches, birdies test your wings, we all prepare for an end to daylight savings - for dull, brrrrr, treacherous driving, barren trees, leaves aplenty on the ground, COLD, windy days are ahead.

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers" (L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables).

Me too LM, me too. Love, Victurd

(PS to spellcheck: get with the program/new millennium, you underlined twerk, you twerp.)

Friday, October 11, 2013

Goodness and Light.......

Hurt. Hurting? Could be anyone. You. Me. Him. Her. Them. Never know. Some verbalize it, some keep it within. Some "you know", many times - not.
(Unfortunately, know some folks struggling at present. Too many. BEEN THERE. God Bless Google, hopefully some suggestions below to lighten the sting.)

Said the night wind to the little lamb
Do you see what I see
Way up in the sky little lamb
Do you see what I see
A star, a star
Dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite

A few small goals, and slowly build from there. A short walk around the block. A phone call to a loved one.
One day at a time, reward self for an accomplishment. Small steps - add up. Energy is drained, but effort put into recovery yields much more in return.

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear
Ringing through the sky shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear
A song, a song
High above the tree
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea

Trusted friends, family. It's cool to ask for help. Be around others, in spite of the want retreat into shell. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. "Rub up agin" (hang out with) positive people. Take care of your self.
8 hrs sleep. Expose, enjoy the sun. Gotta pet? Hug it. Get out. Go, do. Music, art, write, the ballpark, the mountains, a lake, a stream, the ocean.

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know
In your palace wall mighty king
Do you know what I know
A child, a child
Shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Move baby move. Take the stairs insteada the elevator. Park your car in the farthest spot. On the phone? Walk and talk. A ten minute walk can improve a mood for two hours.

Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace people everywhere
Listen to what I say
The child, the child
Sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

Find, allow, humor back in. Eat, ie, don't skip meals. Boost your vitamin B level (citrus fruit, leafy greens, beans, chicken, eggs.).. Foods that help moods: Bananas, brown rice, spinach.

The child, the child
Sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light

Yes, He (if this is one's ilk) can help too. Know: you, I, - loved, so let's love back. Love, Victurd.


Sunday, October 06, 2013

Leaning....

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

I love friends, friendship.. Nature's way of giving a touch, receiving a touch - being touched.

The smile, the tease ("If I didn't like you, I wouldn't tease you").. The "I know what you're thinking" thought..

Please, swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Varying degrees of friends... BFF, 'distant' friends, from afar, nearby, frequent, infrequent, knowing EVERYTHING about each, not knowing so much about each - but being friends means it doesn't matter the time, the distance - yesterday ALWAYS becomes today.

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Friends means inviting, being invited. Conspiring on pranks. Agreeing to disagree. Friends means appreciating being asked "how ya doin?" - always reciprocating - and the words genuine concern fall in place there somewhere too.

If there is a load
You have to bear that you can't carry
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load
If you just call me

Friends have a way of knowing when you're in need, but fear to ask. And vice versa. A phone call. An IM. An email. A personal visit. A feel good given, received, paid forward.

Call me (If you need a friend)
Call me (Call me uh-huh)
Call me (When you need a friend)
Call me (If you ever need a friend)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (If you need a friend)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me (Call me)
Call me

(Gracias to the Boyles for including/inviting me last night into their home to celebrate the visit of Mr. Webb from Sunny Cal. 2013 once again became 1970. Old bodies, youthful brains. Friends/friendship means 'fun had by all.' [Bortko, please explain, or demonstrate to VV what 'twerking' is.)

Friends are quilts. Many make the whole. Two leaning make each upright. Love is all you need. We all need someone to lean on.

Sappy? Probably. But sincere. (Victor, you CAN'T start a sentence with "but".) Watch me, friend. Love, Victurd.

Saturday, October 05, 2013

Look, whaddayatalk.....


Look, whaddayatalk, whaddayatalk, whattayalk, whattayatalk...
He's a music man........ He's a what?
He's a music man and he sells clarinets to the kids in town with the big trombones and that rat-a-tat-tat.

Victor, long time no blog. You ok?

Look, whaddayatalk, whaddayatalk, whattayalk, whattayatalk... (about)...
He's a cornfused man.. He's a WHAT?
He's a cornfused man who sometimes comes and sits here and the fingers/brain get paralyzed lust like that-a-tat-tat.

Look, whaddayatalk, whaddayatalk, whattayalk, whattayatalk... (about)...

Work? Not no's, but hells no's...... we're very slow and we all abhor it.
Royals? Eh, a good year, not sure we really got the Yost, er... most out of 'em..
Government?....... Victor, pun maybe intended, shut that idea down.
Sex? VICTOR!

Sorry... kinda..

I know......... I'll Google 'how to be clever'......

Hmm... let's see: "8 tips on how to be clever"

"Read up on the latest events, and local happenings."

Hmmm... Liberty beats Rockhurst for the first time in 15 years... ok, that ain't bad.. any more good news?

On CNN's "Crossfire" Friday night, the always-outspoken Jesse Ventura declared himself "a member of no parties" as he called for the abolishment of political parties. Asked if he would run for president in 2016, Ventura quickly said, "Maybe." I kinda likes this.

Shooting on 31st street. Accident on such-n-such a highway kills two... next idea... please..

"Study more"............. next idea............. please,

"Correct your posture." It takes good posture to be clever? SHIT! I'm doomed!

"Talk to people who are knowledgeable and ask extra questions." The 4th of 8 tips, I ain't finding any cleverness.. creativity here. What's the 5th?

"Remember things well." I'm 60 for behoogity sakes. Next.

"Participate in something new every now and then. Challenge yourself by doing things that are difficult and require you to think differently." If you hadn't written that second sentence.. I was on my way to liking that one. You don't tell a 60 year old to think differently. I've spent 60 Gosh Darn years learning whointhehell I am, what I like, don't like...beliefs formed. "Think differently"... Patooey! What's the 7th?

"Sound confident in your comments and answers." Have you ever been around me? 8 times outta 10 people will say "Huh?" (I have a 'too soft' voice).. I have trouble looking eye to eye, and I fidgit, yes, I fidgit. Rubbing thumb, forefinger. Sliding foot back and forth. I'll never be clever. What's the last one?

"Pay attention to your natural gestures." What? See the above. Am I supposed to carry a mirror around to learn how to be clever? I give up.

I am destined to be mundane, El Boro... life in the back row of the class photo. The only excitement here is every other day.. that's when I put on clean undies. You see, I flip 'em. Our secret. jk. (You can tell whomever you want.)

I retreat to behind the scenes. Await for better blog ideas to pop in my brain. In the meantime I'll try to stay up on current events, talk to smart people, study, improve my posture, think differently, sound confident, and stand infronta mirror to watch my natural gestures.

Nerd. Ner'do well. Hermit. It's me, my lever (clever, no c... see?)...

Victor.. you ok?

Look, whaddayatalk, whaddayatalk, whattayalk, whattayatalk..

He's a cornfused man. Love, Victurd.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

HURRY!


When I was in kiddygarten, I wanted to be 5 so I could go to school all day like the big kids. (Yes, I was 4 in kidddygarten, don't think I was a heller, don't know what the hurry was.)

When I was 7, I was in a hurry to be 9 so I could play little league baseball. At 11, being a teenager couldn't come fast enough. Not long after, I was in a hurry to drive like the 16 year olds in my class.

16 was cool, but can't wait for 18, vote. (Ok, I lied, going to Kansas.) 19 yearns for 21, hurry. Early 20's I couldn't wait for class to get over so I could learn what thrills my fraternity brothers had up their sleeves for the weekend.

Later, I was in a hurry to get married like most of my friends. Kids. Hurry to make sure that lamp cord ain't chewed, hurry to grab a diaper when allofasudden the room smelled. Hurry for discerning the words. Hurry them to school, little league, scouts, soccer, birthday parties, yada.

Hurry up and mow the yard before Gladys Kravitz calls the City. Hurry up and get the requested dinner rolls for supper. The license bureau, the post office, lane 2 at Mickey D's, hurry up and wait. Run hop skip jump, hurry. Little time to sit back, relax, take it all in.

Now old age has crept in. Can't believe it got here in this bigga hurry. Seems like only a few years back I turned a flip on the court at halftime of a Jewell B-ball game. Couldn't have been that long ago I tied myself to the chimney of our 3 story house, and reroofed.

Time. Where's it gone? What next? I kinda like 60. Breakfast this morn at Nelly Belle's, mom & pop joint where one can smoke, dine, visit with other ole' regulars who ain't in no hurry neither. Home. Nap? Why not? Bath next, sometime soon, no hurry. (Kids, no car, grandbaby outta diapers, texted grandpa "canya get some?"). That could be a hurried need, but I'll get there. Mid-bath, thought "time to get out, get going." Nope, I'm 60, ain't no hurry - so I laid back, did my version of the hippy meditation thing, for quite some time. I love this age of no hurry.

We've always appreciated life, I think. Will have to say, it goes in a hurry. Loved ones leave much too fast. Ties with some friends, never snapped, but now more distant.

60 gives one an appreciation for every waking moment. There's no hurry, I'm too busy enjoying watching others go thru the hurry past life resembled. I like 2 lane roads as opposed to 70mph where sure, you get there faster - but it's impossible to get in as many views of God, nature.

No hurry gives one more time to smile. Simply people watch. Enjoy. Pace one's self at one's choosing. I've had the notion all along "I get it" - but that was when I had a flat belly, wet behind the ears and was runnin' like sixty, er, you know what I mean.

60 is selfish, and I love that. 60 is "no thanks, I don't wanna." 60 is "YES, LET'S GO!".. 60 is going to eat wherever in the hell I wanna eat. 60 is like going thru life holding the remote control. Rewind? Last? Back? Calm down, I'll choose what I wanna choose, when I wanna choose. I love the Pause button at this age. No hurry. Ok,this one is boring, NEXT!

60 is the time, age, to stop and smell the........ oh crap, the diapers! I gotta go. "HURRY GRANDPA!" Love, VIcturd.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

"Sometimes I don't have a clue what you're saying"


Comprende? Dig? Understand (rubber band)?

A many year friend recently wrote that ("don't have a clue") - and then showered with superlatives after. I love the word understand.... understand?

We all are of different medulla oblongata, different walks, different talks, colors, sizes, sexes, socioeconomics, backgrounds, climates, towns, frowns, smiles, whiles....

Lots I don't understand. Sushi, bleeeck.. My bloody English mate, and hell, they were speaking the language long before us. Española. Why birds don't get fried on power lines. Driving 70 and not being able to see the front bumper of the car seven feet behind. I don't understand God awful, and awfully good.

Hate. I hate hate. Victor, I don't understand that. Sorry.. I hate that. I don't understand flies, crickets, cicadas, moths, ants, raccoons (the little bastards), mice....

Anatomy and kinesiology (And I HAD to take that to graduate, get a degree.) I no comprende that some with degree look down on those that ain't gots one... and that some that don't have one assume those with one are uppity. Understand? Me neither.

She/he is very understanding. Yeah? You wanna impress me? Stick him/her in a Portuguese restaurant and have 'em order a cheeseburger.

I go to Church's Fried chicken to get the same order 2-3 times a week. It's always $5.05. I no comprende, don't unnerstand why the guy on the speaker can pronounce the second 5, but not the first. "Fiye-oh-five please." I giggle every time. I don't understand giggle, but it happens. And.. it's a good thing. Good/bad, are different for all of us, I don't understand that.

Once, in high school, drove thru Dog N Suds, asked the gal that was taking my order out [I'd been wanting to go out with her for a long time] over the speaker thingy. I understood, by her red face when I got to the window, the speaker was very loud and everyone in the joint heard it. Oops. I understand "if looks could kill".. Oh well.

I don't understand how the guy with no legs had the guts, determination, mindset, training (with attached blades to his legs) to become a world class sprinter, then piss it all away horrifically (and take another's life). I don't understand horrific. I don't understand taking another's life. I don't understand war. I don't understand religionS. I no comprende disparity in CEO/worker bee wages. Victor, you're bouncing around allover the place, I don't understand where you're going with this.

Me neither. Understand? Begrijpen (Dutch), Razumeti (Serbian), समझना (Hindi), 理解して (Japanese), Compreender (Portuguese... and believe it or not, cheeseburger is cheeseburger in Portuguese, don't believe me, go to freetranslation.com.. I didn't understand it either.).. dnatsrednu (Backwards), puɐʇsɹǝpun (Upside down).. VIctor, I don't understand how you did that. Easy, google "how to type upside down." (Google understands everything)..


I don't Begrijpen (Dutch, remember) burning bridges. I don't understand the person that just quit work due to stress and how working compares to going to the mailbox to get water/gas/electric/trash/cable bills. I don't understand many of the things I'd never heard of years ago dominate my life today.. user ID/password. Online. Internet. Or intranet, I never understood which... apps.. pop-ups (they were things u put in the toaster years ago).. tweet.. Outlook (patooey!).. blog.. facebook.. "Victor, one day you will live on Facebook." Huh? I don't understand that.

I do understand old people are understood to be constant complainers. I don't understand whyinthehell IT types/companies/providers, make 'new and improved' changes, and it takes like 5 clicks more to get the same damn thing as before. Old/grump/understood.

I don't understand remote controls with 89 buttons. gigabytes... why, when my phone alarm goes off in the morning - half the time the snooze/dismiss option doesn't display. I have to take my case off, take the back of the phone off, and undo the battery. I don't 理解して that. (Japanese, remember?)

I don't understand a United States fulla Repubs and Dems who hate each other. (I understand KU-MU no likey).. I don't Razumeti (Serbian, remember?) why Jackie Robinson didn't hit back. I don't understand why some are born challenged. Why some leave all too soon. How someone can say "jeeesh, I can't wait until Friday" and moan/piss MTWT away. I don't understand why the Royals are either "the shit" or "shit" and there's no inbetween.

I loved Logic class in College with Dr. David. He'd say something like "If... then is only False when Then implies False, all other cases are true.... dig?" I dug how he said that, when rarely teachers actually asked that, they gave tests instead. Nomme, shake your head up/down, or sideways, lemme hear the rocks of understand/no comprende.

I don't understand when sometimes "hi" is not reciprocated. I do understand we're all different, and that sentence I just wrote should teach me I have no understanding of what's gone on, going on, in their life.

I don't quite understand everything my 32 month old granddaughter says, but understand I LOVE hearing her talk, and believe she understands what she's saying. I don't understand cruelty to children, spouses, people, animals.

I've rambled, and I understand many of you left paragraphs ago. Please understand - I am thankful for any eyeballs here - and if one, and only one smile ever happens here, then goal reached. Understood?

Love, Victurd.

Sometimes I don't have a clue what you're saying.


Comprende? Dig? Understand (rubber band)?

A many year friend recently wrote that ("don't have a clue") - and then showered with superlatives after. I love the word understand.... understand?

We all are of different medulla oblongata, different walks, different talks, colors, sizes, sexes, socioeconomics, backgrounds, climates, towns, frowns, smiles, whiles....

Lots I don't understand. Sushi, bleeeck.. My bloody English mate, and hell, they were speaking the language long before us. Española. Why birds don't get fried on power lines. Driving 70 and not being able to see the front bumper of the car seven feet behind. I don't understand God awful, and awfully good.

Hate. I hate hate. Victor, I don't understand that. Sorry.. I hate that. I don't understand flies, crickets, cicadas, moths, ants, raccoons (the little bastards), mice....

Anatomy and kinesiology (And I HAD to take that to graduate, get a degree.) I no comprende that some with degree look down on those that ain't gots one... and that some that don't have one assume those with one are uppity. Understand? Me neither.

She/he is very understanding. Yeah? You wanna impress me? Stick him/her in a Portuguese restaurant and have 'em order a cheeseburger.

I go to Church's Fried chicken to get the same order 2-3 times a week. It's always $5.05. I no comprende, don't unnerstand why the guy on the speaker can pronounce the second 5, but not the first. "Fiye-oh-five please." I giggle every time. I don't understand giggle, but it happens. And.. it's a good thing. Good/bad, are different for all of us, I don't understand that.

Once, in high school, drove thru Dog N Suds, asked the gal that was taking my order out [I'd been wanting to go out with her for a long time] over the speaker thingy. I understood, by her red face when I got to the window, the speaker was very loud and everyone in the joint heard it. Oops. I understand "if looks could kill".. Oh well.

I don't understand how the guy with no legs had the guts, determination, mindset, training (with attached blades to his legs) to become a world class sprinter, then piss it all away horrifically (and take another's life). I don't understand horrific. I don't understand taking another's life. I don't understand war. I don't understand religionS. I no comprende disparity in CEO/worker bee wages. Victor, you're bouncing around allover the place, I don't understand where you're going with this.

Me neither. Understand? Begrijpen (Dutch), Razumeti (Serbian), समझना (Hindi), 理解して (Japanese), Compreender (Portuguese... and believe it or not, cheeseburger is cheeseburger in Portuguese, don't believe me, go to freetranslation.com.. I didn't understand it either.).. dnatsrednu (Backwards), puɐʇsɹǝpun (Upside down).. VIctor, I don't understand how you did that. Easy, google "how to type upside down." (Google understands everything)..


I don't Begrijpen (Dutch, remember) burning bridges. I don't understand the person that just quit work due to stress and how working compares to going to the mailbox to get water/gas/electric/trash/cable bills. I don't understand many of the things I'd never heard of years ago dominate my life today.. user ID/password. Online. Internet. Or intranet, I never understood which... apps.. pop-ups (they were things u put in the toaster years ago).. tweet.. Outlook (patooey!).. blog.. facebook.. "Victor, one day you will live on Facebook." Huh? I don't understand that.

I do understand old people are understood to be constant complainers. I don't understand whyinthehell IT types/companies/providers, make 'new and improved' changes, and it takes like 5 clicks more to get the same damn thing as before. Old/grump/understood.

I don't understand remote controls with 89 buttons. gigabytes... why, when my phone alarm goes off in the morning - half the time the snooze/dismiss option doesn't display. I have to take my case off, take the back of the phone off, and undo the battery. I don't 理解して that. (Japanese, remember?)

I don't understand a United State fulla Repubs and Dems who hate each other. (I understand KU-MU no likey).. I don't Razumeti (Serbian, remember?) why Jackie Robinson didn't hit back. I don't understand why some are born challenged. Why some leave all too soon. How someone can say "jeeesh, I can't wait until Friday" and moan/piss MTWT away. I don't understand why the Royals are either "the shit" or "shit" and there's no inbetween.

I loved Logic class in College with Dr. David. He'd say something like "If... then is only False when Then implies False, all other cases are true.... dig?" I dug how he said that, when rarely teachers actually asked that, they gave tests instead. Nomme, shake your head up/down, or sideways, lemme hear the rocks of understand/no comprende.

I don't understand when sometimes "hi" is not reciprocated. I do understand we're all different, and that sentence I just wrote should teach me I have no understanding of what's gone on, going on, in their life.

I don't quite understand everything my 32 month old granddaughter says, but understand I LOVE hearing her talk, and believe she understands what she's saying. I don't understand cruelty to children, spouses, people, animals.

I've rambled, and I understand many of you left paragraphs ago. Please understand - I am thankful for any eyeballs here - and if one, and only one smile ever happens here, then goal reached. Understood?

Love, Victurd.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Hearts of gold...


I want to live,
I want to give
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

The older I get, the more I enjoy hearts of gold. I abhor conflict. With every waking day, the more repugnant shootings, acts of terror, sexual assaults, etc.- become.

If you're like me, as I/we age - and run into any act of 'ugly' (no matter the scale) I react like magnets repelling each other. Run away, scram, bootscoot, exit - stage left.

Give me the persistent smiles of friends like Mary, Ollie, Misty, Lynda, Terry, Jimmy, Kendra, Herbert (and many, many more.) Certain you've got friends like this as well. Red Rover red rover, send those friends (and more), and maybe Ray Charles, Buck O'Neil, Andy Griffith, Tom Hanks, Oprah, and let osmosis takeover.

I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean
for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind,
it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

Old = choice, margin of error lessoned. Closed minded some might deem it, doesn't matter to me - 'poop' belongs in the restroom - and I choose to run from it any place else. Gimme the Sport's page (sans A-Rod/Braun, et al) and the FYI section, you can keep the main section that includes the atrocities.

Keep me searching
for a heart of gold
You keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm growing old.
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.

Life is too short to worry about the stare a stranger might give. Thought a fool/speak, remove all doubt. Winging 'ugly' leaves scars. Growing old, the skin tends to resemble that of an alligator - all the better/thicker to deter yuck.

We are all human, imperfect - yuck happens, and sure, occasionally perpetuated by our own selves. Nonetheless, I believe we're basically all miners for a heart of gold.

Love, Victurd




Sunday, August 18, 2013

Do overs....


Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
They'll all lose track

Victor, are you going to do two blogs in a row on the same topic?

Mebbe. Seems we're amidst the "Get it right" era. MLB announcing they too will use Instant Replay to make corrections. Home makeovers. Body makeovers. Wrong turns, U-turns. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Me, I'll bounce right back
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

Life with pen... not pencil/eraser.

Whiffle ball, circa 1961. Eight youths, most wearing jeans adorned with patches to cover the holes in the knees from past slides - sweating, living, loving - playing as if it were the 9th inning and we were Mantle... Maris.. Musial.. Mays... Aaron.. Gipson... Ford.. Berra... "OUT!".. "No, he was SAFE!".. "WAS NOT".. "WAS TOO".. With no umpires, after a heated profanity-less argument - it was mutually agreed - a "do over" was in order.

Ill be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow get me way down

Buddy at a bar the other day... "Wouldn't you give anything to be 18 again and have it to do allover?" Eh, I dunno, at age 60, I'm pretty tired! That sounds like work!

Little League World Series yesterday. Canada vs. Czech Republic. 1-0, Czech. Kid from Canada slides in home... cloud of dust.. "Yyyyyeerrrr OUT!"... Canadian coach disagreed. Home plate ump retreated to the dugout for a TV review... walks back out... extends his arms to give the "Safe" sign.. 1-1. Three pitches later, same thing. Kid slides in home.. "Yyyyyeerrrr OUT!"... Disagreed. Ump to dugout. Walks back out.. Smile/smirk on his face.. extends arms... "Safe"..

That's me, kinda. Do it all over again to get it right? Smile/smirk on face. Nah - it's been a great ride. Besides... I woulda never attended game 7 of the 1985 World Series. (Thanks DD).. No Solly Hemus, Billy Martin chin to chin with the ump.. I woulda never had the son I love. (Thanks MJTWBSL...sorry,an inside joke)..

Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

But Victor... you could have that 32" waistline you aspire to have. Nah, but thanks. Gimme a 300 burger.. some pulled pork... topped off by a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos.. downed with a 12-ouncer of MBL.

But Victor, that 401K perhaps wouldn't be 'laughable".. You are SO right on that, but nah.. I'm 60.. too tired to 'do over', attempt to get it right. I'll continue on, opting for "Always Save" (not really, next best thing, "Best Choice").. used cars with check engine lights.. and "The Beast" actually tastes pretty good to me.

Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

But Victor, you wouldn't have that scar under your eye where Jimmy Couch threw that bone at you.. and remember that time you ran to the front door, put your hand out as if to stiff-arm the glass door, you lost, the glass won and you got that scar inside your elbow? Yeah, I remember both - but it's life/memories from cherished times.

Scars from words said/heard.. Unfortunately, they're in ink. Can't be undone.

Ill be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

There's no going back to the 50's/60's.. and getting it any better.. How could you improve upon Matt Dillon, Hoss, Ben, Lil Joe, Andy, Barney, Opie, Here's Johnny.. Whiffle ball, kick the can, Chief's autographs when they're spotted in Safeway.. China, Archie, Ace, Grundy, Mabel, Stevick, Nail, Franklin, Ridgeview, LHS... not to mention the greatest musical era - ever. Yes, ever.

Ill be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

And WHAT to top the 70's/80's? Nicholson, Stallone, Gould/Sutherland, Streisand, Here's a story, of a man named Brady.. Royal's teams that won, often.. Archie/Edith.. Sigma Nu/WJC.. Childbearing/raising.. Personal wants/needs moved to the backseat.

Cause I'll be fine
(Ill be fine)
Oh, I'll be fine

And being 40, 50, 60? Do over? Nah, I'm too tired from all the fun I've had. I enjoy every wrinkle I've 'earned.'

But... but... but you could pick a different career? A different mate? Expand your friend base.. Not have to work into your 70's (the good Lord willing).. You could go back and buy NEW CARS instead?

I'm too tired. Me, I personally find water going under the bridge settling, calming, enjoyable. I don't think I ever scored 100 on a 'test' anyways.. No do over needed. I (and I hope you too) have loved life - even if the shirt occasionally bore an 'irregular' tag.. the choice was not the best.. missed answers on a test.

I've been fine and dandy. Whilst sure, the memories fade - blessed with "Instant reply" of life, past events, family/friends, jobs in my head.

"Yyyyyeerrrr OUT!"... Yeah.. you're right ump, I was. Too tired for a do over/replay.. .. nice call. Nice life.

Love, Victurd.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

With every who I meet...

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I'd of said the right thing
But I must have used the wrong line
I been in the right trip
But I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a bad place
And I'm wondering what it's good for

Topsy turvy this world can be. Highs, lows. Sickness, health. Choices, good/bad. Hot/cold. Fast, slow. Money, lack thereof. Happy.. and sure, sadness occasionally comes to everyone. Tears, good, bad & sad. Words, wonderful, occasionally hurtful. Thankfully, life/happy seemingly wins out.

I been the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
My head was in a bad place
But I'm having such a good time
I been running trying to get hung up in my mind
Got to give myself a little talking to this time

As I moved recently, from a 3 bedroom house to an apartment.... filled a 20 cube dumpster with 'that time'... Sad? Eh, nah. You live for years and don't see/forget treasures within your own household. Some things though, once treasured, not so much any longer. Did run across one very nice treasure, spared it from the dumpster...

Just need a little brain salad surgery
Got to cure this insecurity
I been in the wrong place
But it must have been the right time
I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong song
I been in the right vein
But it seems like the wrong arm
I been in the right world
But it seems wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

An 8 by 10 framed picture. My mother had a massive stroke at age 57... Her left side was afflicted. The doctor termed it "if you could imagine wearing a pair of glasses, and them having a patch over the lefthand side of each lens." Handwritten, completely on the right side of this framed piece of notebook paper, is "The secret to success in life is how one deals with Plan B." Prophetic.

Slipping, dodging ,sneaking
Creeping hiding out down the street
See me life shaking with every who I meet
Refried confusion is making itself clear
Wonder which way do I go to get on out of here

Childhood. High School. College. Work. Marriage. No, it ain't been perfect, but it's been pretty damn good, even awesome.. Am I envious of a chum who retires after a long, long career at the same job? No. I'm elated for them. My own vagabond tour has afforded me meeting, working with so many wonderful people. Am I jealous of a couple that's still together after all these years? For heaven's sake, no - I graciously applaud them and am thankful I've gotten the opportunity to observe... and I'm thankful for the time (and mates) I was lucky enough to be coupled.

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I'd have said the right thing
But I must have used the wrong line
I'd a took the right road
But I must have took a wrong turn
Would have made the right move
But I made it at the wrong time
I been on the right road
But I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a good place
And I wonder what it's bad for

Buck O'Neil is one of my all-time heroes. Perhaps the most positive thinking person ever. You know the story - he played in the Negro Baseball league in a racially divided country - and was never afforded the opportunity to play in the Major Leagues (although he was the first African American to coach in the Majors.. ) The title of his book recounting it all? "I was right on time."

I am extremely grateful for every role model that's ever helped mold this goofy brain. Thanks mom. Thanks Buck. Yeah, even you too Dr. John. I been in the right place. Love, Victurd.

Friday, August 02, 2013

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I'm old. Not old enough to have seen the worst, but I'm old enough to have seen sickening. Callaway County Courthouse, four restrooms, white men, colored men, white women, colored women.

I seen you 'round for a long long time
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I'm old enough to remember the local theater had a main floor, and a balcony, and if you weren't white, you couldn't sit on the main floor.

I seen you walkin' down in Chinatown
I called you but you could not look around

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I think I remember (I very well could be wrong on the timing/actuality) our local swimming pool wouldn't allow anyone but white folks to swim, but of course, if the athletic skills of 'others' were great, "yes, you can play on our high school (football/basketball/wrestling) team, but no, you still can't swim here."

I bring my money to the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

The recent "Sports Center" story of the racial slur by the Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver sickens me. I abhor, hate, vomit, at any kind of discrimination.

The color of your skin don't matter to me
As long as we can live in harmony

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I get upset when anyone who isn't of Indian descent bemoans an 'intruder' to our country. I am of German, Irish, English, Indian descent. We all came/come from somewhere. Get over it. Are you special because you speak English and I don't? F that.

I'd kinda like to be the President
so I can show you how your money's spent

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Anytime I read/see/hear discrimination, I have this great urge to relate to those discriminated against "NO!!!!! WE DON'T ALL FEEL THAT WAY!" People are people, screw grouping due to race, creed, size, age, economic status, heritage, etc.

Sometimes I don't speak too bright
but yet I know what I'm talking about

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Long about the time I entered school (circa 1956), segregation had thankfully ended. I was lucky. I grew up with friends (every color), family, that stressed/demonstrated equality. No, it wasn't yet perfect, but we youths thankfully learned the right way.

I know you're working for the CIA
they wouldn't have you in the Mafia

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I honestly think sometimes, if I were black, or very aged, or very obese, Asian, Hispanic, dreadfully poor, mentally impaired.... I might be dead now due to retribution.

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

On behalf of all mankind, if you've ever been on the receiving end of discrimination, I apologize. Please know I (and the very very very large majority of folks) love you, and I'm sorry.

Love, Victurd

Sunday, July 28, 2013

The Big Chief Tablet...



Remember? The quest to stay between the lines - refrain from smudges, and make it legible (a word we didn't even know what it meant!)... Editor's note: being left-handed didn't help in the smudge department as the butt of my hand always dragged over to slur/blur the 'penmanship'! Symbolic mebbe?

Introduction to Life, 101. A blank canvas on the easel. However do will fill it? We must walk through life (those of us fortunate enough to be able to walk) and paint our lives. Some have wonderful guidance, many - none.

Turn here? Work there? What do I wanna be? Is it really possible to pick/find someone to spend the remainder of life with? How do you know?

Some write (right) their life better than others. Some don't care. Some are always happy. Some hate Mondays, and basically orgasm as the clock hits five on Friday afternoon.

Some keep every friend they ever made, some, burn bridges. Most have niches: religion, sports, books, politics, reality tv shows, quilting, baking, kayaking, biking, gardening, writing - things to occupy, fill up ole' Chief.

Children are born. Their own tablets, and the impact of (or not) parents (or grand parents) in guidance to stay between the lines. Force fed on how to fill it, or, live as you like - your call. Our household was pretty liberal, basically we could do whatever we wanted (within reason of course) but once we started it, we must finish it... (Well... "except sex " they said)...

That canvas goes from a good form of anxiety on how to fill it... occasionally, we find that we "wish we'd have written that portion of life in pencil, insteada ink" - but all tablets are filled with errors.

We start writing in life, and it's about "us.".. Midlife comes, it's about others. Aging comes, and there's an appreciation for rereading how our tablet of life has gone and the content within. Memories. The names. School chums, events. Work. Coworkers. Relatives, inlaws, and best friends - those all written in blood.

Our wrinkles are the frayed edges of Chief, our brown spots are the yellowing of aging paper. My grandmother wrote/denoted important events, births, weddings, even simple visits from family/friends, in her bible - her Big Chief. I guess a blog is a form of Big Chief, and remembering back to Mrs. Eldridge's class, I'll probably get another C+!

Saw some lifelong friends in WalMart yesterday... 11 different sizes of balls in their cart. "How many grandkids you have now?"...... "Eleven!"... That's a lotta balls. A lotta memories. A lotta tablets to fill, and a lotta names/events for their own tablet.

I wouldn't erase much. Made some turns, job decisions I shouldn't have. Can't spend money when you're dead... but, perhaps that too is a niche for some.

Hope you've enjoyed filling your tablet, guiding others as they fill theirs. Hopefully, a lotta pages left for us all. Do you think schools nowadays have "Big Chief pads"? Would certainly help avoid left-handed smudges.

The Big Chief notebook. Infancy, to youth, to adulthood, to parenting, grand parenting and beyond. I hope you've enjoyed/appreciated your Mondays within tablet/life. And sure, I hope somewhere along the way you too orgasmed at 5pm on a Friday.

Between the lines (most of my life... some rebel infused)..Love, Victurd.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Anticipation.....

"Waitin', waitin', waitin' for the Bluejays" (oh does that bring back memories.. locker room of the ole Liberty High School.. waiting to go up to play a basketball game... we was "pumped up higher than a 5 hour energy drink' before 5 hour energy drinks were cool! Yes, aware wrong 'tense' on 'was', sometimes, things done here on porpoise.

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway, yay
And I wonder if I'm really with you now
Or just chasin' after some finer day

Nah, this ain't about girl/boy, it's about anticipation. Tomorrow. Will the sun come out as that little redhead squeaked? Sixty, ya think of seventy, which is odd, because 10 ya never thought of 20.. 20/30, 30/40.. etc..

Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin'

190,000 mile car. Know I'll have to have another.. anticipatin' what kind. Also, checkenginelight, what will be the next purchase at Advance Auto, the corner mechanic shop, tire, fix it item.

Next time something said that doesn't sound so good to the ears... will we blurt/regret/show our ass, or... suck it in.. .think inwardly "man, I'm glad I'm not you." Patience hopefully looms large in reactions to anticipated actions.

And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me
But I, I rehearsed those lines just late last night
When I was thinkin' about how right tonight might be

I've given up on 'that kind' of anticipation. Figure, if it happens, happens. If it doesn't, I'm cool. I much prefer being side-swiped, coming from leftfield. Hook, line, sinker. I anticipate, if it happens, I'll fall much to GD (easily) as the past has registered.

Waking up. How will this day turnout? Sure, we play a huge role in that determiner.. but I'm more intrigued by the folks around me.. the things they do/say... the eye candy (mind outta gutter, not what I mean) life affords.

Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin'

Christmas. Grandkids next "omg that's the cutest little turd on the planet' action. A grandchild's first step - and oh how I wanna be there. What words will be learned, uttered next?

The Chiefs? The Royal's record in August? The January 2014 company fiscal report on 2013.. Anticipation is the thirst for tomorrow, and the reminder to keep our eyes, ears wide open, and the corner of our mouths up.

And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet and I don't know nature's ways
So I'll try and see into your eyes right now
And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days

Eyes, no, not necessarily girl/boy eyes.. reaction.. reading... enjoying happy looks,
winging sympathetic looks back at down/sad looks.

(These are the good old days)
And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are.....the good old days)

All along, I've said "One of the most amazing things to me, had you sat me down in High School and said 'Vic, now here's exactly how the next 42 years of your life are going to go' I woulda told you that you are nuts." Didn't anticipate this/that, but oh how many fun, deep wrinkles I've gotten from those good times, friends, relatives, loves.

Sunny sky the other day, BEAUTIFUL. Stopped by Happy Hour.. (NO Victor, not YOU!) Haha... Buddy at stool next to me says "welll..will you look at that rain?" Top down. Hadn't anticipated that.

Weather. Summers. Winters. Being 65. Walking in ten years, the good Lord willing. Flashforward to a grandkid's first day of school, little league game.

Pardon me boys (and girls), I so love life/anticipation. Bucket list diddys actually accomplished?

Victor, be a fountain, not a drain. The sun'll come out, tomorrow. Anticipation is keeping me waiting.....

With baited breath. Happy day, love Victurd.


Thursday, July 04, 2013

USA


Yes, there are some things messed up in our country. We are in the era of political entitlement (not all, but in general).. We have too many random, mass slayings.. Industry/economics are cyclical. Divorce rates are up.. Single parents are raising children, often with no assistance. Heart attacks are on the rise.. as is murder, suicide..

But... this still is the greatest county in the world to live.

Freedom of speech. The right to assemble. Freedom of religion. Freedom of the press. Ok, 'that side', the right to bear arms. The right to equal justice. The right to own private property.

We can live anywhere. Travel anywhere. We select those that lead us.

A note of thanks to those here, those no longer here, who put their lives on the line to preserve our freedom. As I write, fireworks are going off in the background. Flags are up allover in towns in the US.

I'm thankful to be an American, living in the United States of America.

Below, I did a very quick study to reinforce the above statement to myself. The internet is the internet, so sure, if errors, or incorrect statements below, apologies. Still, some eye-openers.

Thailand.. drop gum on the pavement, you can be fined up to $600.

Insulting a religion: Sudan, 6 months plus 40 lashes...

Iran: Drinking alcohol.. Fines and 80 lashes for first time offenders.. repeat offenders are put to death..

Women cannot drive in Saudi Arabia.. Whilst this might make my daily drive to work on 435 safer, I still think a bit harsh.

Homosexuality... Yemen, Death penalty..

China... heavy taxation on parents who decide to have more than one child.

Public demonstrations are banned under legislation in Egypt.

In Iraq, Libya, Jordan, Morocco, Oman and Yemen, married women must have their husband’s written permission to travel abroad, and they may be prevented from doing so for any reason.

Video games.......... banned in Greece..

Swaziland... women are forbidden to wear clothing resembling menswear, and if one is caught in public displaying pants, they are subject to having them forcibly ripped off of them by soldiers, and humiliated.

Life expectancy in Sierra Leone is age 47.

Theft.. Right hands have been cut off at the wrist as punishment for theft in Sharia-controlled areas of Nigeria and in Saudi Arabia.

Minimum wage.. Armenia $86.20 per month.. Bangladesh $37 per month... Uzbekistan $40 per month.. Trinidad and Tobago $1.94 per hour... Sierra Leone $5.75 per month.. Singapore, none. Niger, $60 per month.

Adultery, stoned to death in Iran. Not that I'm advocating adultery... just "wow? really?"...

Happy day, Gob Bless the USA.. love, Victurd

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The show must go on......

(Preface... written because some I very much love/loved, for who knows what reason, thought the show couldn't go on... and others, in their agonizing loss, must go on.. )

Empty spaces - what are we living for?
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score..
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are looking for?

There are seemingly a lot of us, occasionally lost out here. Situations, alone, usedta be, lost him/her/child/parent/sibling, some even still presently coupled (yet lost.)

Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!Yeah!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

And it should. When the heart breaks inside (ugly happens), the outside fortunately helps. Friends. Family. Kids. Grandkids. Coworkers. Neighbors. Funny things said, good/wonderful things seen.

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache - another failed romance.
On and on...
Does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess i'm learning
I must be warmer now..
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now.
Outside the dawn is breaking,
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!

I've been down, sure, but never EVER 'that' down. There's too much good here to enjoy life. Smiles make me smile. Laughter makes me feel good. Going to work, seeing the same faces, never gets mundane - they're appreciated. No, life is never eva' perfect a hunnerd percent of the time... but when's the last time four good outta ten happened? (Four hits in every ten at bats)... 1941.

The Show must go on!
The Show must go on! Yeah,yeah!
Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!
My make-up may be flaking...
But my smile, still, stays on!
Yeah! oh oh oh

Yes, you've said that... and somehow, the first time you did, we cleared the hurdle - so

if you feel you're gonna break me/us down here, huh uh, dream on. Opening my eyes/ears, allows me to see/hear, life, in spite of yuck, is pretty darn good.

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,
I can fly, my friends!

Freddie, I enjoy your fervor, but this (flying) is pushing it. No, I can't get in and outta the car like I used to.. Yes, I have trouble keeping up with young punks when we're walking in someplace together... Yes, in the rare event I get a base hit in Sunday Night softball, we've fortunately got a conglomeration of 'sons' on our team that are all too happy to pinch run.

The Show must go on! Yeah!
The Show must go on!
I'll face it with a grin!
I'm never giving in!
On with the show!

Life's a book. Some pages, chapters, suck, but keep turning the pages into the bewilderment/wonder/awe of tomorrow.

I'll top the bill!
I'll overkill!
I have to find the will to carry on!
On with the,
On with the show!

Realization, yep.

The Show must go on.

And please don't you ever forget that. I've seen what happens, who is affected, when it's chosen to stop the show. Sometimes life really really really sucks. People (most), mindset, events, family, friends... so very many things - no matta' how tired, cranky, feeling bad, in the "give up" mode, money woes, lack of confidence/self like, etc.... The Show must go on... It's the only (right) choice...

The show has to go on.

Love, Victurd.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Just a second........


Seconds are the moments that become minutes, which become hours, days, years, a lifetime...

Second base is a two-bagger... Getting to second base is a form of adolescent experimentation, mixed with touch, growing parts.

Before the demise of the Soviet Union into all those funny spelled countries - they no likey'd 'second'. In the Olympics, if the US ever beat them in a team sport, headlines were "US next-to-last, Soviet Union second."

Second marriages can be grand even though it would be the second time one had said "till death do us part." Second place, in a marriage, ain't a very good thing, and inevitably ends that very second.

Driving into work (for the second time this weekend), national sportscaster praising Phil Mickelson.. Phil has taken second in the US Open I think like five times.. and announcer dude said "I really admire the fact (he's the present leader going into today's final round) he's not afraid to set himself up for failure again." (Last year, Michael Thompson and Graeme McDowell tied for second, receiving $695.916.00 each. I could only pray to fail like that.)

Seconds are a given at an all you can eat buffet.. grannies at Christmas time.. Aunt Ethel's apple pie.

I was second in line at Mickey D's the other day. There are two drive up lanes, which creates frustration, poppa vein behavior as the seconds add up. Guy in fronta me finishes his order.. starts pulling up toward the pay window.. gal in the second lane apparently had finished her order at the same time.. honks (loudly), sticks her head out the window and proclaims "YOU MORON, IT'S EVERY OTHER PERSON!"

"Just a second" can be said in various ways, indicating "I'm an old grump, calm down, leave me alone, I'll get to it wheneverinthehell I want to get to it", or, a loving way to say "Ok honey, give me a moment."

Line drive off Hosmer's bat, to the pitcher's head/ear in less than a second. At that point, the game was second.

Second in the speedy "20 items or less lane" at WallyWorld usually lends one to be behind someone who, either musta sucked in math at school - or, only cares about 'one', screw second, third, fourth person in line.

Seconds give us time to react, or not react... to think about hitting that "send" button, or not. A chance to keep the foot out of our mouth, or not, gulp.

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, THAT, second. Lifechanger.

Second makes the want to be first, stronger. "Seconds" never grab the headlines, no one ever remembers 2nd place in Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, Olympics, Spelling Bee... Ms. America, etc. Second ain't bad though.

I better get to work, just wanted to take a second about seconds.

Victurd, I'll second that.

Love, Victurd

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Oh the games people play now......

Oh the games people play now
Every night and every day now
Never meaning what they say now
Never saying what they mean

I love all people, I do, but some make it hard to do so. The above stanza... To me, it's all about evaluation. Some folks it's easy to see/evaluate/form opine fairly rapidly, others, it takes years. All'a that offset by the general belief initially "take 'em by their word."

And they wile away the hours
In their ivory towers
Till they're covered up with flowers
In the back of a black limousine

Eh, this does not compute. I'm just a common man, drive a common van, my dog ain't got no pedigree. (Victor, I think it's against blog rules to inter-mix two songs in one blog.) Then howabout, suffice to say, ivory towers, black limousine, it ain't me babe. Oops.

La-da da da da da da da
La-da da da da da de
Talking 'bout you and me
And the games people play

Oh we make one another cry
Break a heart then we say goodbye
Cross our hearts and we hope to die
That the other was to blame

My only experience here is being on the receiving end of goodbye, and the inferred (and believed) guilt instilled in me. "I was to blame." If this was a blog (ha ha) I would say "scroll to the title."

Neither one will give in
So we gaze at our eight by ten
Thinking 'bout the things that might have been
It's a dirty rotten shame

Too late, comes to mind, for staring at an eight by ten. One can only control their own feelings, actions. It's a dirty rotten shame, but life does go on, and in many cases, a perty decent hereafter.

People walking up to you
Singing glory halleluiah
And they're tryin to sock it to you
In the name of the Lord

They're gonna teach you how to meditate
Read your horoscope, cheat your faith
And further more to hell with hate
Come on and get on board

Again, this one's all about "sit back, evaluate." Never been a big fan of 'hawkers', be it the carnival, the side street in the big city, the slickster a knockin' on ur door, and, (don't shoot me) the ultra religious handing out pamphlets about my perceived path to hell. I prefer to observe lifelong folks/bonds - their faith.

Look around tell me what you see
What's happening to you and me
God grant me the serenity
To remember who I am

Cause you've given up your sanity
For your pride and your vanity
Turns you sad on humanity
And you don't give a da da da da da

Yes, sometimes the games people can play wear on you. Fortunately, age is the 'hockey goalie' to thwart this. Comfort. A vast majority of our life is making sure "we fit". Are "comfy". Don't "rock the boat" (sorry, a 4th song, I will do 100 sit-ups for doing so).. Bottom-line (geez Victor, we never thought you'd get here) in life, in games, in family, in relationships, in friends, in every day life - we, are the judge, jury and executioner of our own person.

Please don't allow the games people play to affect that. Or is that effect? Love, Victurd

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Don't read, unless you're really bored, as this is really boring.



A preachment, dear friend
You are about to receive on John Barleycorn
Nicotine and the temptations of Eve

Yeah, pretty sure I've done that/this one before... oh well.. Old people are repetitive..

No parkin' by the sewer sign
Hot dog, my razors broke
Water drippin' up the spout
But I dont care, let it all hang out

Went into work today... five hours... semi-caught up.. Car has been hesitating to start in the am... bought a new battery at Wally World yest...... Made it to work today... made it back to town.. Piggly Wiggly for a bottle of pop and a jar of peanuts to take to my buddy's wonderful annual Memorial Day party...AHRUH.. ARUH.. ARuh.. aruh... click.. Dead battery. Hmmm. Alternator?

Hangin' from a pine tree by my knees
Sun is shinin' through the shade
Nobody knows what its all about
It's too much, man, let it all hang out

Made the half mile walk from Piggly Wiggly to home to Google howintheheck to change the alternator on my car.. Kinda understood.... afoot to auto parts store.. looking for shortcut (I'm old)..en route, lady was leaving a nearby assisted care facility, walking to her car.. I took an abrupt right thru their parking lot (in her direction) as I saw a back way/shortcut to auto part's store.. three ladies on front porch saw this, (scared, I think, thinking maybe I was gonna go jump her) .. "Sir.. are you looking for something?".. "Nah, my car just broke down at the Piggly Wiggly.. I'm walking to the auto part's store"... "Darn, sorry, good luck mister." (And bless them for having the courage to speak up, understood.)

Saw a man walkin' upside down
My T.V.s on the blink
Made Galileo look like a Boy Scout
Sorry 'bout that, let it all hang out

Auto parts store.. "Sir, for your make/model, there is a 90 amp, and a 120 amp alternator, it matters... do you know which it is?"... "No... I don't.. what do I need to do, would the VIN help?"... "Yes, we need the VIN." Afoot to Piggly Wiggly. Bouta twenty minute walk. And back to auto parts store (bouta twenty minute walk) with insurance card with VIN # on it."... "I'm sorry sir, but I can't tell from your VIN which one you need." "Darn, ok, I'll just go pull it off." So.. afoot to Piggly Wiggly, bouta twenty minute walk.

Sleep all day, drive all night
Brain my numb, can't stop now
For sure ain't no doubt
Keep an open mind, let it all hang out

Piggly Wiggly, at my car. Ain't got the right tools. Didn't wanna call buddy, called.. he, his wife came.. together, we didn't have the right tools.. tried jumping the car. Huh uh. Took battery to anudder auto parts store to charge.. They took me home. Oops. Keys still in car at Piggly Wiggly, no getty into apartment. Ran, caught them. "Sorry!" Friend/wife hitched me back to Piggly Wiggly.. back to apt.

It's rainin' inside a big brown moon
How does that mess you baby up, leg
Eatin' a Reuben sandwich with sauerkraut
Don't stop now, baby, let it all hang out

Alarm set early to have at again tomorrow. Will ride bicycle to Perky's for early am breakfast.. Swing by auto parts store for battery.. back to Piggly Wiggly.. Hopefully drive car to auto parts store, buy the appropriate 'breaker bar' tool.. hopefully pull alternator.. purchase new.. figure out whereintheheck the serpentine belt went up/down/over/under. And hopefully drive away, bicycle taking up 3/4's of the room in my matchbox car.

Let it all hang out
Let it all hang out
Let it all hang out

Fountain/drain. I didn't pay very much for my car. I haven't had car payments. My car has been a faithful, reliable servant for a long time. I have had/will have, two full days off (rare). I got to take my g-daughter to "Spacebound" (inflatable bounce house thingy) yesterday.. I am lucky.


Your (memorable) Memorial Day? Love, Victurd