Who'da thunk it?

First, wanna get the Incognito thing behind us, or somehow have it meet an end, even if imperfectly. I hope (and believe) I speak for 99.9% of us who grew up in small towns in the 50's, 60's where bullying was taken care of (rather than fearing to jump in and stop), and us people of all people, were friends, regardless of race. That is, towns/people, without hate, without prejudice.

But then... (Victor, again, you CAN'T start a sentence with 'but'!)

But then... there were things we didn't like. Such as: KU. The Raiders. The New York Yankees. Folks from our longtime rival town - Excelsior. Any fraternity other than the one you were in. Even, yes, the other political side.

As I/we age - something happens (in a good sense) - and we revisit dislikes with an open mind - and turn the corner from 'learned dislike' to observed/like.

But then.. (VICTOR!)... who'da thunk one would be moved by an article on the former head football coach of the 'patooey' KU Jayhawks? Me I guess.

After his dismissal for alleged mistreatment of players - soul searching happened. "He reconnected with old friends,even recalled 'some people I thought might not like me; I thought that was the right thing to do.' He started to listen more, he said, and talk less."

How powerful is that? "Listen more, and talk less." I'd like to think age teaches us that.

Mangino (aka, former KU football coach) is now spending oodles of time with his grandkids.. "happy to do it as a way to give back time he never quite had enough of for his own two children."

He resisted the urge to get back into coaching two years ago ("the most important move I've made in my career") when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. One day, for treatment, he wanted to drive his wife to the doctor - she insisted she could do it alone - then later called him in distress on the way home as clumps of her hair were falling out. So,

what's he do? He immediately goes and shaves his own head in a show of support to surprise her.

This condensed version of the article doesn't do the man justice - so, if per chance, ya getta chance please go read the article: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/09/4609966/three-years-after-ku-mark-mangino.html

He speaks of having time 'to learn from others, to study others, to study myself.".. Lessons from others: "If you're waiting for your ship to come in, forget it. You've got to go swim out to it."

On Bill Snyder (whom he worked for at K-State) "He never thought there was any problem you couldn't find a solution for. Some take longer than others. He'd sit around for hours thinking about ways to solve a problem." Could we learn from this? Certainly, in every facet of life: marriage, parenting, education, government, world peace/relations.

Mangino continued "You know all of these people that I worked for in my life? There's one other coach that I learned a lot from in life, and it's kind of funny. You know who it is? It's me. You have to learn from yourself. You have to learn your own weaknesses and strengths - if you want to improve in your career, you have to improve as a person."

"I don't care how old you are or how young you are; I don't care if you're a ditchdigger or a millionaire, there's room for improvement and you can get better. No matter what your lot in life is, you can improve. Even a guy like me."

Apologetically, I (Victurd) express regret for my former dislikes. Each and every person I've met from our High School arch-rival Excelsior is a quality, quality person and I love 'em. My best friend at work is a diehard Yankee's fan. Two days ago I "tilted one" with my buddy, the staunch Oakland Raider's fan. I've recently hit 'Like' on a couple of buddies (from 'other' fraternities) FB postings and treasure their friendship. Politically, I was recently sitting next to "one of the G brothers", he taught ME, "Vic, we may disagree on some things, but friends for life, period." Now, I find myself applauding an article on a guy from KU.

Reckon there's truth in talking less, listening more. Had I done that years earlier - it would have awakened me that 'perceived dislikes' ain't always that.

Love, Victurd.