Forgive me Father for I have farted....

Laundry, done, before ever having to flip the last pair of undies. Hey, that hinges on alotta things.... the mood, the weather.. events scheduled... and... if the ones that are still left in the undie drawer are technically considered undies 'cause there's maybe more hole than material.

Immaterial to the matter at hand here. Some of you know my desk area = it appears to be set for any moment to scream out AVALANCHE!!!!!! Some o you know my car - but to be honest, it's even been relatively clean the last few weeks. My house, I don't let noneya see = so, the point to be gathered here - Victor, upon occasion, can be a little piggy - trouble with "putting this away and putting thataway." Yeah, mebbe true - but gaining on it.

I know where every GD thing on my desk is... I know what mail is and what mail ain't in my car.... We hada song with Sigma Nu - and it said something about "my collars and cuffs are seldom neat"... and true, mine prolly ain't.

I am a wimp. Remember, I got fired from making roughly $60K @ Sonic because I was "too nice." My boss in onea my first jobs told me I needed to read the book "Looking out for number one"... (It was payday the next day, so, insteada saying what I wanted to say to her - I said it quietly to myself and smiled whilst doing so.)

Geez Victor it took you a long time to get to your point. Yes, I know. I DO GET PISSED WHEN PEOPLE MESS WITH MY STUFF - OR, THEY DO OTHER LITTLE SHIT THAT JUST DRIVES THE HELL OUTTA ME. Like empty coffee pot still on burner - burner on. Like someone pulling into a gas station, and you'da thought it was the Pope himself 'cause of the way parked (blocking all others... poof, walk around my car you little ones.)

Ok, I'm at the laundrymat. Everyone, like me, waited until 4 hours before the Super Bowl to go. ALL the dryers are full. I'm in my neat mode - I've got basket, dryer sheets, hangers hung - and sorted for slacks/shirts... Big woman gets up to clear a dryer. Hell yeah. Then I felt kinda bad - I just beat an 18 yr old woman who happened to be black by about three steps. Went back to get the next load - and lo and behold - she got me this time - so all not lost.

There are THREE, count em THREE, dryers FULL of clothes - and STOPPED. Owner nowhere to be found. Now this asshole who probably parks infronta the GD door at the local gas station didn't show up and didn't show up ---- and he'd cost me, and my laundrymat buddies (it's kinda like a club if you never been. "Oh don't use that one.. I put three quarters in it and it only worked for 9 minutes." Wow, thanks Lady!)...

I'm folding up my last load... Undies, socks are neatly away in the basket -- tshirts, jeans, shorts all folded... dress clothes now all hung up...

In walks the culprit. By now, there was no one besides me who knew whata creep he was - leaving his clothes there for six weeks and two days. So happened, my stuff was right nexta where his stuff had been sitting in the dryer.. It wasa bottom dryer, so he hadta go down there and sneak 'em out.

I couldn't hold it in. I didn't wanna hold it in. It was long, it was ugly, it was spirited, and I'm quite certain it had some sensory 'qualities'. Whilst I was actually done with my stuff, I just hadta stick around to get the gratification of his "no too happy" face. I did. Forgive me Father, for I have farted. He's lucky, I shoulda sharted! Love, Victurd