For love of the pussy.....

Honestly. Do you really think I'm that crude? We're talking cats.

I have a friend who doesn't really care hearing anything about my cats... In fact, she's allergic to cats. Each and every time we banter "crap" back and forth, she threatens to come stick a firecracker up the booty of onea my cats.... Aware this upsets me, I threaten her back, so she upgrades her threat to a cherry bomb.

I DO LOVE DOGS - they've just all died out on me. Not that long ago, I had 3 dogs, 4 cats. Lotta poop. One by one they've gone to animal heaven - and I'm down to two cats. Victor, I'm skipping this blog, I hate cats and there's nothing you can say that would change my mind. Ok, fair enough - kiss my ass - and stick the firecracker that's there in it in your mouth wouldya?

How couldya hate Jackson? He's a Maine Coon (without papers, be for real, got him from pound)... I dareya to look up Maine Coon cats on Google. They're awesome. The "Gentle Giant" they are deemed. With their longhair, they look puffy, fat, but they ain't. "I hate longhair cats with all that shedding." KMA, nothing 3 minutes with the Bissel can't handle.

Jackson talks. He does, I ain't shittin'. In the morning, there ain't no gettin' outta the house until he's fed. If I shower first, he's there at the bathroom door when I open it. "Rrrrreaoowww" he says with a slight offset turn of his head. Which is feline for "feed me damnit." "RRRRREAOOWWW" is "feed me NOW damnit." Whatever Jackson wants -- Jackson gets.

Jackson sleeps with me. I try not to get in his way. In fact, he sleeps about 16 hours a day. If I pet him he purrs... If he ain't in the mood for petting, he swipes. When he swipes, he sometimes draws blood. Don't believe me, checkout my hands sometime. If I get to his body with my hand before I get swiped - he then paws me - and he keeps his claws in... as if to say "hey, I know you're cool and you're just loving me." He loves shoestrings, and he dares to fit in any size box you bring home. Once went to Branson, came home, suitcase on bed... he loved it so much, didn't have the heart to move it... for like six months. KMA, it's my house, my life, my cat!

Figaro, different story. He's a tabby I guess... Has a cinammon swirl on either side of his belly.. He's crosseyed - and reminds me of those old electronic kid's football games - he runs into something, gets temporarily bumped backwards, and then continues forward. Figgy terrorizes Jackson. Jackson eventually gets up and scoots. Figgy knows when my car pulls in, and he's like a damn dog there at the front door to greet me... Figgy could probably stand to have lipo-dissolve done on him. He's inches from dragging the floor.

I was like you...... until I was introduced to cats. Now I'm thankful I was. Maybe you'd have to be here - just do me a favor - insteada the pat "I hate cats" - look around at who has 'em. Most of us cat owners are not criminals. Most are pretty laid back individuals. Not asking that you go out and buy some pussy - just that you maybe keep an open mind about cat-lovers and their love.

I am so so very glad I was introduced to pussy. I simply can't imagine a life without pussy. Oh, wait..... ahh nevermind... Love, Victurd.