This first part has absolutely nothing to do with this blog. Which, if you've followed, is par for the course.
Seems... Seems an off duty cop (and his camcorder) were confiscated recently at the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Kansas City... The 48 yr old perve was shooting girls, ages 12-16 in skirts... and trying for "upskirts".. someone in the parade said "Hey, what are you doing?".. and the cops closed in. Suspended from force, arrested, charged with disorderly conduct <-- the only thing they could get him on since there was no nudity. What got me is - the sex crime detectives watched over one hour of tape and noticed it contained primarily images shot from the waist down of girls, ages 12 to 15, participating in the parade wearing leotards and skirts. Hmmm, took over an hour eh to get to the disorderly part?
Was thinking driving home about annivesaries... I dunno, something on radio talked about anniversaries... Then I thought.. "Do I even remember mine?"... Then I remembered I did.
First marriage: June 21st.. Uh huh, the longest day of the year! Nothing bad to say here, nice lady.
Second marriage. July 10. At first, no significance.. then I was visiting grandmother's grave and noticed that was the day she passed. Damn me. How COULD I have done that to my mother. A cousin spinned it positively "well Victor, in actuality it couldn't be more beautiful." Yeah, I guess.
Which led to me thinking, I wonder if there are better days/months to get married on?
Mormans could marry in February. On the even days. (That'd get 'em up to 14 wives.)
Catholics could marry on Labor Day.
Those with pre-nupt's could marry in September. Oh come on.. Get it?...'cept for this.. 'cept for that.
Wheelchair folks could marry on Saturday. Victor, you're sick puppy.
Armed forces in March.
Convicted felons in July. (Put a Spanish spin on it... Juuu-lie)
Gays on Thursdays. Oh come on... Am I the only one to remember about wearing green and yellow ona Thursday?
(Learned recently a friend married on 8/8/88 in Vegas.... turned out it wasn't that lucky.)
Convenience store employees could hitch on 7/11.
Nudists on Sunday.
Swingers on May 4.
Nut/Chocolate lovers on Pay Day.
Porn stars on Lei Day. (May 1 in Hawaii)
Flatulent folks any day in July (It's National Baked Bean month)
Infertiles on Halloween.
2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc marriages on Veteran's Day.
Lyle Lovette on Thanksgiving Day. (Or Phyllis Diller)
Those that are hygienically inept on February 21. (National Sticky Bun Day)
Victor, I think you've gone far enough.
One more please?
Ok, but just one.
Virgins any day in February. (National Cherry Month).
Goodbye Victor.
Remind me... if I get married again... Make sure it's on 4/1. (Save ya from counting.. 4 is April.)
"Entreat me not to leave thee.. or to return from following after thee... for where thou goest, I will go. And where thou stayeth, I will stay."
(Them were the vowels from my first marriage. Ceptin' them was in the days prior to GPS. Me thinks she got lost! Love, Victurd.)
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