Sign, sign, everywhere a sign...

Blocking out the scenery breakin’ my mind…
Do this, don’t do that can’t you read the sign?

Nowadays, you can’t even pee into a urinal that ain’t got an ad on the ‘strainer’ that adorns the drain. “Phil’s Auto Tow.” Hehe. I guess that’s in case you imbibe too much, have fender bender on way home. (All’s good… my simple rule is, “Still yellow?All's mellow…... Clear pee? No key!”)

Oh, and you get ads infronta you at the urinal too. Are there ads on the door across from the pooper in lady’s rooms?

My wonderful late uncle was sooooooooo upset when advertising hit the sport’s world. There is something truly beautiful about a long, long ‘plain forrest green’ outfield fence. No way now. Ads everywhere.

Hell, you can’t even go to a sporting event any more without the stadium having a ‘sign’ infronta it.. Fedex Field… Staples Center… FleetCenter… 3Com Park… Continental Airlines Arena.. it’s putrid!

Was watching pro bowling the other day… (Yes, I was bored.).. Bowler takes approach… announcer whispering in the background… otherwise, could hear a pin drop… he brings the ball up for his approach… I’LL BE DAMNED if there wasn’t a PEPSI sign on the ball 2/3rds the sizea the damn ball!

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…

Driving to work the other day… Electronic sign we taxpayers purchased alongside the Interstate that loops around Kansas City.. BIG MESSAGE: “Aggressive Driving Enforcement April 24 through May 6.” Hehe. WTF happens after May 6? Bumper Cars?
Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Ford F-one-fitties?

Well hell… if they're having an enforcement drought after May 6… hell… we bought the signs… I think we oughta have some say then about what goes on ‘em…

Howabout lightening things up a bit:

“Four in every ten women reading this are shooting a beaver.” YEAH! I’d like that one!

Or mebbe:

“Thall shalt not pick boogers in heavy traffic.”

Or…

“Quit that GD texting biotch! You drive shitty to begin with!”

I’d even chuckle at a simple

“Burma Shave”

Maybe the government could even recoup tax dollars… you know – like having citizens pay for the lighted message… such as..

“8:30 tonight.. Party at Joe B’s.. BYOB.”

Or…

“My (soon to be ex) wife screwed “John Smith” on April 23rd, 2007.”

Please wait to be seated. Stop. Go. Merge right. Yield. One way. Speed limit 65. Men only. Women only. No one under 21. Shirt/shoes required. Please dial “0” for receptionist. No loitering. No skateboarding. No overnight camping. No parking. And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply.

So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why… He said you look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you’ll do… So I took off my had I said imagine that, huh, me working for you! Woah…

Sign sign everywhere a sign… do this, don’t do that.. can’t you read the sign?

Signing off……. Love, Victurd.