Curmudgeon

A crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man...

Well, this blog ain't about that (Oh OK, maybe it kinda-sorta is) - I was just thinking of that word... and sometimes I like to parlay this attidude amongst friends/co-workers so they'll think "wow... I'm glad I'm happy and ain't like that old SOB."

Seena movie yesterday... "What women want".. pretty good one... no, notta new one.. think it's a few years old...

Mel Gibson works for an ad agency... He was raised by a single mom who was a Vegas showgirl - and he was a little Vegas prince.... He's a chauvinist who knows all about getting into women's pants, but absolutely zilch about getting into their brains. Thus, although he's in line for promotion to top ad exec, he's passed over (Holly Hunt gets it) due to the rising market of female products and his lacka knowledge/ability to relate to same.

So, Hunt gives all the ad folks in heap big meeting, a box fulla female items (lip gloss, panty hose, pushup bra, wax, etc) that will be needing representation soon... "take 'em home, bring back your ideas."

Gibson manages to actually try on the panty hose, throw a little lip gloss on, peel some hair off his leg with the wax.. and as he's holding hair dryer, he slips into tub, shocks the hell outta him.. and he wakes up with this newfound ability - the ability to know exactly what every female is thinking.

Wouldn't this be a wonderful trait to own? Hell, I can't do either of Mel Gibson traits (the ability to get in women's pants, or, his newfound ability to peek into women's brains.)...

Upon occasion, I know the right thing to say - and some women have told me this - but then on other occasions, without intent I can piss off, hurt, blow away -- what's Newton say? For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Yeah.. that... that happens.

I try to see from women's shoes, and then my feet hurt... or, I feel the sudden urge to buy a new pair, or three.

I try to think like a women and then all I wanna do is play with my boobs.

I try to think likea woman and then I faint, cause I can't stand the sighta blood.

I try to think likea woman and then my emotions get the besta me and I tear up... throw on sweat pants and baggy shirt, make a pot of tea, and promise not to get cleaned up/put makeup on until the next election is over.

I try to think likea woman and sayings start rolling off my tongue: "You NEVER listen to me."... "GD I TOLD you that two weeks ago.".. "Did you think this paira GD jeans and t-shirt were suddenly gonna leap on their own into the hamper?"..."Why don't you ever consider WHAT I WANT?"... and then I run and put the bathroom lid down.

I try to think likea woman and then all I do is log the sexual innuendos at work, and then feel the urge to go ask for a raise because "just because I ain't gotta penis yada yada yada..."

I try to think likea woman and all I do it change the channel from ESPN to Oprah - and finish off that bagga M&M's...

Ok, I'll stop firing shots. I know, I know.. it's easy for women to get inside men's brains. "let's doink... let's doink.... let's doink."

Reaching this point... I think it's safe to say generally, neither side really knows what the other side is thinking... Only the lucky ones have the ability to communicate their thoughts - meet a happy ground - and no one walks away a loser.

GD. How do you women walk in these panty house? Back in a bit... going to blow dry my hair now. Happy thoughts, whateverinthehell they may be. Love, Curmudgeonturd