Our 1960’s decorated building is undergoing remodeling. Bathrooms first. Aside from one VP offering “Extreme Makeover can build an entire house in one week.. and it’s taken nine weeks and these bathrooms still ain’t done” – it’s going pretty well.
The finishing touches are now done… and we have New Millennium rooms to pee and poop in, complete with porcelin stools/urinals from the 60’s. Oh well, take the good with the bad. Personally, I’d rather have 1960’s walls and a 2000-something squatter to sit on, but I ain’t calling the shots.
Wash hands. Turn. WOW. The new paper towel machine. “Place hands underneath” and PRESTO – a towel comes out. Mosta us hicks here in the Midwest ain’t seen sucha thing. Now I’ve been to that fancy casino’s restroom where you sit, do your business, stand and LO AND BEHOLD SOMEHOW it knows your done, and automatically flushes the stools! Is that a job surveillance does too? Detect when one is finished? Dat legal? GD Perverts. Wonder what it pays.
Wouldn’t life be so enhanced if this type of technology were everywhere? Oral Roberts was “country, when country wasn’t cool.” I mean hell, he’d touch someone and PRESTO, cured.
“Place these hands under Maynard”. Snap! Job, respect, an actual belt that is latched somewhere up around the belly button. Not yeahs, but hells yeahs.
Logon to Bank website. “Place hands under here, all will be well.” Snap! F-in A Ray, six-digit balance! YEAH! New pool liner, new roof, GD AC that works, new carpeting, and maybe a car that was at least made in the last halfa the last decade. Cool.
“Place these hands under boss”… Snap! YEAH! A raise.. no more stupid emails about how we dress, where we congregate on break, what kinda GD shoes we’re wearing, where we park, whether the speed limit it 5mph or 10mph, about uninforced profanity rule, and throw in a heaping cup of suddenly gained patience. Yipee!
“Place these hands under the Royals”… Snap! YES! These 2007 Royals rock! George who?
“Place these hands under Iraq.” Snap! What? Sunni’s are shaking Shiite’s hands? Building joint congregations? They’re actually building walking tracks for the public? The last soldier is home?
“Place these hands under Victor to enable a clever blog”… eh, sorry. Sometimes when you have 2000-something walls, you still haveta pee/poop in 1960’s fixtures.
Have a wonderful day, and be careful where you place your hands. Love, Victurd
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