Muahhh!

Went to Wikipedia.. I mean, don't they know ever'thang?.. Entered "kissing"... It said site moved to Kissing, Germany. K. Went there. Wasn't crap about Kissing (the art), but I did learn that Kissing, Germany is in Bavaria.. real close to the towns of Petting and Wank.. and just across the border from Fucking, Austria. Hmmm.. So, kids from Kissing go ona date... if it goes good they go to Petting, Germany.. if she don't say "nein" they crossover into Fucking, Austria eh? If she does say "nein", he takes her home and then goes to Wank, Germany. Right?

Backed up to just 'kiss'. Wiki tells me "Kissing allows prospecitve mates to smell and taste each other's pheromones for biological compatibility." I did't know that. What have been your past experiences with pheromones?

Talked about the kinds of kisses... and the "greeting kiss" is done in parts of Europe, Latin American, and The Middle East where women kiss men, and in somea those places the men kiss the men and the women the women. Hell, right there at the IHOP in Grandview two chickies got thrown out for smooching. Sure you'da hadta been there to discern the degree of the kiss... but, my first inkling was discrimination.

Kissing.com tells us "laugh it off if you bang teeth together." (I wonder if two peeps ever got braces stuck together? Would the dentist make 'em get two appointments? Would he charge double for labor?) It also says "the secret to kissing passionately is variety. Sometimes you're gentle, sometimes you're rough. Bite 'em on the lips, but don't go crazy"... Ahem, sooooooooo, there is more than one way?

Teenadvice tells (About French Kissing) Set scene/relax/breath mints/arms around/turn head/normal kiss/mid-kiss open mouth/get ridda excess saliva ("Oh, hold on Jane... HHWAACK-PPTOO... there, now bringme them sweet lips baby" <-- that was me, not Teenadvice)/breathe/wet ur lips/don't get rigor mortis - keep the arms a movin'!

The Eskimos kiss with their noses.. The butterfly kiss is eyelashes together... The caterpillar kiss is eyebrows touching... wow, can u imagine Henry Kissinger and Brook Shields?

Ever hearda James Belshaw and Sophia Severin? Me neither, but they hold the record for the longest, unbroken kiss... 31 hours, 30 minutes and 30 seconds... Underwater? Record is 2 minutes, 18 seconds. The scientific name for kissing is philematology. Could be used as a pickup line eh? "Ahm, actually, I'm studying philematology."

African tribes kiss the ground where their Chief has walked. Were you aware you burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss? "Baby, c'mere... we both could use some exercise!" (Oh, and I heard that "other thing" is like a 50 yard dash!)... Viva la exercise!

In Indiana, it's illegal for a mustached man to habitually kiss human beings. In Hartford, CT it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sunday... and in Cedar Rapdis, IA, it's a crime to kiss a stranger. Damn.

The average woman will kiss 79 guys before marriage (holy shit, that's a lotta halitosis, altoids, gum, saliva, germs, good times, not so good times.) Survey said - when asked whether they'd rather give up kissing or sex... 63 percent said sex.. 21% kissing.. and the remainder said "too hard to answer."

Wonder where the origin of kiss my ass started? (bonus points if anyone knows.)

My experience? Haha. That would literally be kissing and telling. I can tellya this - and I ain't no GD expert - but, when crap hit the fan a few years back I tried dating like crazy... I dunno, maybe to 'get back'. Well... learned it doesn't take too many kisses to know "huh uh, this ain't right"... or... "Hmmm.. let's continue here for awhile." (Call me piggo if you want, u chickies are the same way I bet!)

So... in conclusion.. I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way. My take, when couples have a good feel about the other - and the kiss may not live up to what you want it to be.. communicate... and don't give up. I mean hell... wouldn't the practice be fun? (Oh, and I once trained my 15 yr old brown mutt [that's 105 in dog years] to hold still whilst I put a 'treat' on his snout.. and then flip it and catch it. So, blows the hell outta the "old dog/new trick" theory.)

Live life under the mistletoe... On this very day, be kissed, we're all Irish today. Irish the best for you. Kisses. Love, Victurd