The twit....

There's a guy at work I email back and forth to... I gotta be real careful when communicating with him though as he just can't seem to figure out the emails below came before the one on top. I dunno how many times I've emailed him to relate something... then, I will have forgotten to add a minor detail or two – so I'll immediately email him back with the forgotten detail.. "Ahm, they said they'd be able to deliver this by next Tuesday."... and bingo, three seconds later I'll get an email "WHO? Who said they'll be able to deliver? And deliver what?".. I catch my breath, say underneath to myself "GD Jay (oops) READ THE FRIGGIN' EMAIL BELOW!... so, reckon the same holds true in blogs.

Signed in at 8am. One by one, the little ladies dressed in all blues walked out.. The first was a cute little shit, but to be honest, she looked grumpy and was it was quickly perceived she thought she was "all that." Nope, hope it ain't her – WHEW, she walked by me. Smiley one followed.. Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE say "Victor?"... Nope, wasn’t her.. A few more dull ones… another smiley one... still... I sat.

Finally, outta the left corner of my eye... Ok dammit, you got me... She was standing right in fronta me… "Victor??".. Gulp, it was Ms. "All that.".. Why me Lord, tell me what did I do... then allofasudden she flashes me this beautiful (hey I'm friendly) smile –and says "can you follow me?" Ok, I'll back off my original take momentarily here.

She wipes off the machine where I'm sposedta stick my head... tosses back and forth nice, idle chat.. I peek in and see the same hot air balloon I'd seen the other two trips to the doc... and then we're off to another room. "Why don't you sit there Victor, and I can take your coat and that envelope for you." Now I feel bad. Twit ain'ta twit. She's nice as hell. Way to young for me, but she's also pretty as hell. PERVERT. AM NOT. ARE TOO. AM NOT…. Well, she was pretty….

"For insurance purposes, I need to record what problems you are having.. now we've already copied some (night driving, blurriness, etc) from other appointments..." then she looked down at me with these 20-something GORGEOUS DEEP GREEN EYES and said "Ahm, are you having any troubles distinguishing colors." If I was her age I woulda said "Not no's but hells no's – and you got somea the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen!" .. but I said "ahm, no, no problems with colors." PERVERT! AM NOT.. ARE TOO. AM NOT..

"Ma’am, can I ask is this what you've always wanted to do?" - thinking maybe she'd reply, "no.. this was all the temp service had open at the time.." instead she said "well, to be honest, when I started this 7 years ago (YES! YES! YES!) it wasn't the plan – but honestly it's been a good career decision for me." Whew, she probably didn't have her W-2 with her anyways... I sunk safely further into the chair…

She's explainin' what will happen during the surgery… "So… we'll put some eyedrops in to numb your eyes... then we'll give you something to relax".. Hell yeah, good thus far...I spout out "and then the IV comes next?"... "No, we don't do that any more.." "Oh (I counter) – so after the drops have had awhile to work then you'll gimme that needle that'll numb it even further?" "No sir, we no longer do that either.. Doctor will make a small incision.." and she went on to explain the whole deal.. "the artificial lens is pliable – so we can bend in half to fit through the incision.. they usedta have to cut a BIG half circle around your eye to get the old kind in… now it's all virtually painless.... and you'll have better vision immediately following the surgery." This is all too good, there's gotta be a catch somewheres....

"Now, let’s measure your eyes." Good God - here it comes - she's gonna grab a can opener and head back toward me... Instead, she slides this machine thingy over... it had a little suction cup on it (kinda looked like onea those things you stick on a window and hang ornaments from) – "I'm gonna put this on your eye – it won't hurt.. there's a saline solution that will flow into your eye.. it's ok if you blink.. and please just try to stare at the red dot." Took about two minutes per eye. (YES! They measured BOTH!)..

Ok, egg on my face. She wasn't a twit. She was a bright, young, intelligent, kind lady. VICTOR YOU GD PERVERT – you said her eyes were gorgeous.. Yes – I did say that, and they were. SO? Do we have to go over alla this again? No.. we don't.. . (Unless Jay just got here we don't)..

Ms. Twit, you were Ms. Nice. Inside I apologized – outside I said "thanks... you're very good at what you do." Nice smile returned, I was off to work. Never did hear how big they are – but, seems they got that crap under control so life is good. I'd measured it all wrong. Happy day, Love, Victurd