Pervert......

AM NOT.. ARE TOO... AM NOT!!... ARE TOO...

Such is a typical verbal cubicle exchange betweengst me and my buddy, Kendra. How to describe Kendra.. Holy shit, ya got an hour? She's early 20's.. She's a snowflake, she's extremely intelligent (GD I hope she doesn't read this).. other women can be jealous of her because she wears things where 2/3's of her boobies are sticking out - and there's still more leftover underneath than they got.. she's the type that most assuredly led many a vice principal in charge of discipline to drink - as she knows exactly how far she can push - and she smells inequity a mile away.

I plan, I conspire, I attack - and in a millisecond she has a retort that not only puts me in my place, but causes me to wimpily retreat and wonder why I even tried in the first place. For all of the above - I love her, in spitea the fact she'll occasionally give my butt a love pat as she walks by. Some day, if she really pisses me off, I'm gonna turn her in. It's a unique working relationship - and I ain't sure I coulda handpicked someone from within the building I'd more like to share a cubicle with. What's more, she's very good at what she does - but sometimes some people can't see past the "push the envelope" exterior and recognize that.

Anyways, with the exception of my two cats - of late she probably knows me better than anyone. I tell her exactly what's on toppa my brain - and she kinda sorta shares her life with me as well.

The other day, I'd visited her myspace thingy, saw a picture of onea her friends from a company we both work very closely with - so outta curiosity I went to read the profile. This friend is in her early 20's - and as I looked at the pics I thought to myself "GD, she oughta be a model, she's gorgeous." So, I winged same in an email to Kendra.. and was met with the reply "quit being spooky." Pervert. AM NOT. ARE TOO. AM NOT!!!!!

So I ask you - is it being a pervert if you see someone that's gorgeous - and you share that opinion with someone else? I have no notions of May-September relationships - and lord knows - being married 20+ years to someone almost 8 yrs younger - I'd get up every morning, look in the mirror and think "how old do I look today?"...

That... and... Many many years ago - I was a 20-something sprite myself.. We were at a post-softball game bash (of which we were fairly practiced) and onea my teammates moms (she 50-something) had hung around the keg too long - and I was shocked as she grabbed my hand and placed it on her breast. That, in and of itself, educated me on how wrong stuff like that is - and I've carried it with me my entire life. I've carred hope a similar event (with someone my own age) would play out again - but damn daddy, hasn't happened!

I'm gonna keep writing, so go take a nap - come back - or hell, close this up and please return another day....

Whilst I might seriously entertain the May-September thing in a dream with Elisabeth Shue (sorry... I just happen to think she's onea the most gorgeous people on the planet) - I have an affinity for people who always maintain a smile on their face - and one such is another young pup - Drew Barrymore.

Recent article I read spoke of her "crooked smile." I'd never heard it termed thataway - but it's perfect. She DOES have a crooked smile. I'd like to think (and I think I do) I too have a crooked smile. Kinda like "you go ahead and take this life as serious.. nomme.. I'm gonna smile alst the while - and you're only left to guess what is crossing my preverted brain." AM NOT. AM TOO. AM NOT.. Ok, maybe I am, hell, I dunno.

Why I love Drew Barrymore: She was pretty much neglected as a child. By age 12 she was drinking and using cocaine. At age 13 she was in rehab. And by age 15, the little lady who'd stolen America's hearts in ET - was working in a Hollywood Coffee Shop. With apologies to Parade Magazine Drew's take on that time "I'm really glad for that time in my life - having to ride the bus.. struggling to pay my rent.. getting heckled by people."

The rest is now history... from the infamous jumping on Letterman's desk and flashing him.. to her more movie roles... to her own production company...

Again, sorry to copy Parade - but I loved what her brain expoused next... for we ALL could learn from it "It was hard. You want to place the blame on people, but I don't think it's fair. You're dealt the cards that you're dealt. You can't let that be your downfall or a springboard to become something better. For me, I just thought 'what a waste of time to feel sorry for myself.' The best thing I can do is learn from all the things I've learned from them, good and bad, have my own family someday, and just keep going. So many things are thrown at us as human beings, but you can't let any of them get you down, or you're just going to be defeated." With apologies to anyone born after 1970 - Far Out.

I love Drew's crooked smile. I love the fact it literally adorns her face 99.9% of the time. I love the fact one of her favorite things to do whilst in Ireland is to find an open field, take off all her duds, and run naked to her hearts content.

Pervert. AM NOT. AM TOO. AMMMM NOT!!!!! Ok, hell. Maybe AM SOME. Ain't there a little prevertedness in us all? May you admire beauty of all kinds of all ages - but please remember not to get carried away and place their hand on your booby. And Kendra, quit smackin' my butt... pervert. Love, Preverturd....