Yesterday

all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though
they`re here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday

Victor. You already did this one. I know. June 27, 2006. Uh huh. You’re right. Who cares. Since it’s about yesterday, why not repeat it? You mean like ground hog’s day, the movie? No, as in ‘mired’ mebbe. “Slowsand” so to speak.

Suddenly
I`m not half the man I used to be
there`s a shadow hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly

I awakened early this morning. 5:20-ish.. There’s a friend of a friend, his girlfriend, and her “child” (15) living with us. This fitteen year old, somehow had contracted my computer with cyber herpes… going from site to site took so long, I coulda taken a bath inbetween, so… I wiped everything offa my hard drive, started from scratch… downloaded the AT&T Yahoo thingy, and jualah.. I’d forgotten my original password. Stuck I was stuck. Gotta hold of some AT&T foreigner in their tech support last night… “Oh, you’ll have to get password reset from billing”.. K, please connect me. “They’re not in, you’ll have to call back when they reopen at 8am Friday.” Crap. So… it’s 5:20-ish… I’ve got time to kill until 8am.

Let’s see. I could do laundry, clean, vacuum, scrub the tub… or… I could go to Mickey D’s, read the paper, and take a spin. You know me. You know which I did.

Why she had to go I don`t know
she wouldn`t say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday

Actually, I got past this quite awhile back. Victor, you hideous old fart, we’ve seen your pity parties. You still love her. Oh, sure. I do. I love the ‘her’ from 1975 to 1999, but that ‘her’ ain’t living on this planet any longer. Another has invaded her bod. She be different. So, I’m left to untangle how to get from point A to point B. Victor, might I remind you you’ve been married twice? Ok asshole, make that from Point B to Point C. Thanks for the reminder.

Breakfast was wonderful, people watching, cheap coffee, their newspaper. An article about gratitude.. And I’d gotten an email very similar recently.. They tryin’ to tell me sumpin? Thought about a blog.. Then nah… Pollyanna ain't here today.

So I took a spin. One hour left now to kill. Yes, I drove by my childhood home. Yes, I drove by the college where I went, the fraternity house where I lived. The downtown Square where I one had’ta give a speech following the Homecoming parade.. Past my first girlfriends old house. Up by the High School.. Parked, for a second, by the football field behind it, remembered that’s where I broke my wrist that now hurts like hell in cold weather, so I boot scooted on.

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday

Then it hit me. The question begged. “Am I living in yesterday, because I’m trying to repeat it?”.. or mebbe… “Am I living in yesterday, because I fear the unknown, tomorrow?”.. or even, “Am I living in yesterday, because I don’t know how to go about tomorrow?”… Probably a little truth to all three…

Why she had to go I don't know
she wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday

A lot of “she’s” have exited my life. First love, wife #1, wife #2, and the passings.. My mother.. My sister… I’ve exited some women, hated providing hurt, but you can’t force feelings, no matter how hard u feel you should try.

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm............

So mebbe I should turn to other Beatles tunes for assistance with tomorrow… Let it be (just whatever happens, happens.).. A Day in the Life.. Act Naturally.. All Things Must Pass.. (Yes, damnit, I’m looking at an alphabetical list… sorry).. All You Need is Love… Another Girl.. Because.. Can’t Buy Me Love.. Dear Prudence…

Don’t Let Me Down… Don’t Pass Me By.. Getting Better.. Glad All Over.. Got To Get You Into My Life.. Help.. I Feel Fine.. I Saw Her Standing There.. If I Fell… Kansas City.. .Love Me Do.. Magical Mystery Tour.. Nowhere Man.. Paperback (blog) Writer..

Revolution.. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.. Something… That’ll Be the Day.. Ticket to Ride.. Two of Us.. When I’m Sixty-Four.. With a Little Help from My Friends.. (I never mentioned Viagra or Levitra, perverts).. You’re Going to Lose That Girl… shit, did that have to be the last one? Hehe.

So perhaps.. Cognizant of the fact that mebbe, just mebbe, I live in yesterday to perhaps hide from, hide behind a rock and peer out, remember “feel good” in hopes it’ll happen today, tomorrow - at least allows me a little perspective behind my action or inactions..

Them sumbitches had some songs eh? (And that ain't even a fourth of the list.

Why Don’t We Do it in the Road? Call me. 867-5309.. Or on my cell 913-384-6600, again, we’ll forecast the future. Love, Victurd. (I hereby promise to never repeat myself again… I hereby promise to never repeat myself again)