We’ve all seen ‘em... Could be mebbe losing your hat… Could be Western Kansas, losing your roof… could be misjudging a fly ball.. No matta, it’s consternation…
It’s been a whirlwind of late…
Couplea days ago.. The internet thing… Few months back joined a free site where you can communicate… see pics… learn about… FASTER than 78.. We’re talking “yay/nay in a gigabyte.”..
Saw a gal nearby.. A year older.. Fetching… Winged a few “hi” emails back and forth… I just had one picture up.. She asked if I had any more... She also said “I work in the same town... We oughta get together sometime”… hehe.. I said “sure”.. She was a paralegal, and working in my hometown, so I proceeded to relate the names of lawyers I grew up with.. “he and I played little league together..”.. “he and I were in the same HS class”… so-and-so and so-and-so might not remember me, but we went to College together..
Megabyte hit shortly thereafter… “Read/Deleted”… “Read/Deleted”.. I was thinkin’ Dayum.. Either onea them sumbitches didn’t like me, or mebbe the added pics brought upchucks!
Editor’s note to yesterday’s blog… When I said (after meeting someone and the response was negative) that I “didn’t give a shit.” Well of course that’s not true.. For those who REALLY know me, they know it’s important to me to simply be liked. I tease and I play, but there is a decent heart here, and I enjoy when people like me… and vice versa…
The point of the whole paragraph was, I can’t control what people think, and I am me. There’s no changing me, who I am. And mebbe you as well. Sure, I have regrets for past behaviors. Uh huh, I’m not liking (full fledged) the life I presently lead, but I like me. I know I’m human. I’ve learned the hardest lesson there is to learn, one can only control one’s own feel.
That said. I went back to that gigabyte site today. On break (Our IT department is monitoring us… I feel like a 7th grader) I surfed that one site and found a pretty nice sounding/looking lady whose “status” was “widowed”….
She said she was looking for a friend to do things with.. And that she’s already had her soul mate for life… wanted someone to do, go. I “hear” that.. And I think to myself “she doesn’t want to betray.. I dunno how long it’s been, but she’s lonely for a mate.. And no, I don’t think if a gal emailed her, they’d go/do..” Be for real…
So I wrote “I'm very sorry as to how you got here, and I'm not good with words on this.. just know I/many, feel for you/your family...My name is Victor - I live in Liberty.. Bored as well.. and sure, looking for a friend... If you desire contacting me, it's great... if not, that's ok too.. Happy day... You have a nifty smile! Victor
The reply I got was “What in the hell are you talking about”…
So I responded “Ma'am, your profile indicated you were widowed. I was just relating that I was very sorry about that for you.”
Which ignited further fire, whirlwind… “Thank you for your concern but you might want to be a bit more clear. I wish you lots of luck.”
Mebbe she’d peeked at my pic and upchucked, I dunno. You ever reach that stage where you teeter back and forth between “I should just shut my yap right now and count my losses” and “NO, this pisses me off… I had good intent.. Screw her!”.. I was there…
So.. I wrote “Maybe I'm having a bad day as well.. I was as nice as could be and I feel you lambasted me... for no real reason.. besta luck to you as well..”
Ok, so I admit… the “maybe I’m having a bad day as well” was kinda smartass… scroll to I can’t control what people think, and I am me. There’s no changing me, who I am. And mebbe you as well. Sure, I have regrets for past behaviors. Uh huh, I’m not liking (full fledged) the life I presently lead, but I like me.”
So the wind velocity picked up.. She cranked out “When I blast you then you will know it. I am not having a bad day. You hit me wrong with your sympathy I did not ask for it nor do I want it. That said. HAVE A NICE DAY and there is no need to respond.”
Hehe… so… I considered writing back.. But then I moreso tried to fit myself into her shoes… and I couldn’t.. I know she’s struggling, hell, who wouldn’t… But I tried to see the view, and I couldn’t.
Educate me here. I ain’t asking for “oh Victor, your did nothing wrong, she’s a witch” (because mebbe you’ve been here awhile, know me, would subconsciously tend to side with me)..
I’m moreso looking at the view from her shoes… Can anyone project insight to that?
I HONESTLY didn’t mean harm.. I had no ill intent… I thought the widow thing perhaps needed acknowledgement… Mebbe I barky up wrong tree…
It’s been a whirlwind…
7200-something left. The last few ain’t been so good, but, that’s the way (uh huh uh huh) I like it… ups… downs… food for thought anyways…
I’m the baby, gotta love me… unless you look at my pic, upchuck… mebbe talk to some Liberty lawyer that knows me and says “not no’s but hells no’s”… or perhaps I was, what’s the word, insidious, to ever bring the widow thing up…
Until the day I get Senior Coffee at Mickey D’s with cane/slow pace… pee my pants and forget my name, love, Victurd.
2 comments:
In my opinion - feelings don't come out of an email. No matter what you try to say whether in kind or jest, some things just can not be communicated in an email format.
It's how the person receiving the email interrupts it. So maybe, just maybe, with all good intentions the reader just couldn't stand to hear one more time how someone felt about her being widowed. Or there is a chance that everything on a person's profile is all crap on that site!
Example - you are legally married, now separated and filing for divorce. How do you indicate that? Are you divorced or not? Papers filed? Waiting for judge to sign off? What if you feel divorced, no matter what and the other party dies before the final step? What if he died ten years ago and a body still lists themself as widowed? Should they say single?
Who's to say what was happening in that person's life that day?
I believe I can hear whinning in an email, and/or yelling. But do I really? Is the feeling coming out of one's mind into a medium like email and ending up in another's mind as something completely different than what was meant?
Communication, all types of communication, is an important key to any relationship. Speech, email, hand written notes, phone calls, text messages, body language, touch all forms of communication.
Now trying to create a relationship with a person when the only connection you have is a few words on a profile and maybe a picture or 2, that's hard work. What can you determine from a picture but what you see, not what the intend was behind the picture?
Signed: 1 Hot Mama
Very thought provoking, and I thank you for opening my eyes to all those possibilities... Sometimes I steer through life with blinders on, and am of, what I consider to be average intelligence - so I'm truly grateful to have "your sidea the board".... and it's a nice mind you have... Again thankyou and God Bless.. Victor
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