Saturday, July 19, 2008

Que ‘ball’… or.. .. How I screwed with the Government….

Oh no Victor, you’re not gonna REALLY tell this one are you?

Eh, why not.

Long ago, in days of old… Before she went from 4 wheels, to riding off on 2...
Back even when she liked me!

I worked for an air freight company. Onea the duties on this job was “after hours” on call. You hadta have your cell phone handy 24/7. If the customer called, and you weren’t there, they went elsewhere. Iffy that happened, and iffy boss found out, I’d probably have to go elsewhere as well. Point being, you didn’t dare not answer. I’ve answered whilst showering, whilst pooping, whilst playing right centerfield, whilst sleeping, whilst having family dinners - doesn’t matter, a “have to.”

I even once answered while……………

Well… it must been a good day… she was… ‘spry’… There is male initiation, and there is female initiation, and lemme tellya - both are good, but the ‘her one’ is SPECIAL. Men are always ready, 24/7, kinda like working for an air freight company. We’re there at your beck and call.

Now onea our air freight customers was Uncle Sam. So happens there’s hella warehouse right here in Kansas City that flies critical parts out allover, whenever. It could be ‘tween 8a-5p, it could be 3:45am Sunday… or it could be 7 minutes after foreplay had started and you were… well… you know.

We were… Intimacy is a wonderful thing.. Intimacy involves love.. It involves two sharing something so very special - unique, and dedicated to the other.

Ring.. Ring…Ring… “Shit.” Ring. Ring. Ring. (Phone there on the nightstand, 12 inches away.) “Victor you better get it.” (I thought I was getting it!).. Hehe..

“Hello?”.. Victor? “Yes… hey Que (dispatcher) howya doin?” I answered softly. I mean come on, do you talk loud “during?” (Well hell, Kendra ain’t here, but I bet she probably does!).. “Hi Vic.. We’ve got a hot one. One piece, 45 lbs.. Need to get to Slidell, Louisiana like yesterday. Their part shot craps, the whole operation is down. They’re completely shutdown.”..

I stared in her eyes, held the phone. “Continued.” It was very hard to focus on Slidell, Louisiana when I was (close your ears) sliding myself. “Ahm… ahm… OK, I think I got it.”

“Can you get someone here immediately to pick it up?”… silence… more silence.. My concentration had waned.. I mean tell me, do you frequently converse with a 3rd party “whilst”?

“YES.. Oh.. I’m sorry Que… (fake yawn)… I guess I’m just a little sleepy.” That’s Ok Vic, I know you’ll take care of us… (With every movement, every turn to write numbers, weights, towns, zips down.. my concentration.. the 'feeling of "there" still, completely made it impossible to concentrate on air freight.

And then it happened…

I looked in her eyes again. I felt ‘us’. There was a twitch. And as I got ready to hit the red button, I softly said into the phone, “love you.” Hehe. We both laughed (she/me), and I felt like an idiot.. Air Freight interruptus, and I told the dispatcher I loved him. Quc ball. How I screwed with the Government.

One em-bare-assing moment in my life. Kinda funny (em-bare-assing) then, kinda funny (em-bare-assing) now.

We ‘finished”, albeit kinda hurriedly. I dispatched someone to pickup the 45 lb part, whisk it to the airport, call Que back with flight/anticipated delivery info.. And this time I made dame sure I said the regular ole’ “Good bye.” I’m certain Que was glad of that. Probably wondered about me.

May I ask though? Since I made $25 for that phone call, would that entitle me to officially be a professional gigolo?

Time to go now. Good Bye. “Love you.” Victurd.

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