One email, no real comments about “Friends with Beni’s”… I guess it was a boring topic. So solly!
Let’s talk “Special people.” I know, many thoughts come to mind……
“Special” can mean those that perhaps weren’t given the God-given tools of most.. In the slow class in school.. Perhaps mentally disadvantaged thru birth or accident.. These folks are generally treated well, and deservedly so, as they generally are givers. They don’t know any other way. They show love, they show affection, they show concern, they show gratitude. “Shortchanged” so to speak by God, but for that very reason He made up for it in other ways.
“Special” as in friend. You know the kind. When u need that lift, somehow they sense it. When u need to talk, somehow the phone rings, or the email comes. They’re quick to ask “how are you”, “how’s your day?” “what are you doing special this weekend” and we get so GD involved in ourselves, we slip and forget to ask “You?”.. “Your day?” “Your weekend?” - BUT, there they are, the very next day, week, month - asking again.
“Special” as in ‘look-at-me’. I publish this blog at work upon occasion, so I spose this could be grounds for my firing. I work for a family owned business… Three sons now run the company. Two of the three went thru the school of hard-knocks (loading trucks, delivering furniture, office clerks, supervisors, then VP’s, one is even Pres now.) The 3rd bro, he wasn’t “raised” within the company.
He came over recently when the big conglomerate he worked for went belly up. I’ll admit, he had climbed the ladder there on his own, but in the snap of a finger (a year?) he was made a Vice-President within our company. He sometimes is a decent chap, and he’s always been fair with me (but he has chopped several longterm employees who don’t have a “niche” - begging the thought “why pay someone who’s been here 25 years worth of raises when we can get someone off the street to do the same for tons less?” - THEN turns around and asks for “Team-building suggestions.”)
Well, he’s a weight-lifter too. He’ll be talking, look down at his biceps, kinda twitch ‘em, eyeball ‘em, and then continue speaking. To himself, he’s “special.” I’m not enthralled with people who are “Special” in their own eyes. So solly.
“Special” as in mate. My first marriage only lasted 7 years, and while she really was special to me, the depth of that special-ness never reached what ‘special’ was in my longer term marriage of 20+ years.
It really is special when you’re comforted hearing that voice on the phone. Seeing them come home from the day. Greeting you at the door as your day ends. Awakening and sharing the start of the day together. Simply staring at them and thinking back on all that’s transpired, happened… how you’ve made it thru the depths, celebrated the highs, the birthdays, Holidays, vacations, summers, winters, falls, etc.
We all too often take “special” for granted. If you are around one of the givers from group one, get to know them. Genuinely care about them. Give ‘em some time from your life. You'll be rewarded twofold.
If you’re around group #2, emulate them. Ask how their day is. Thinka buying them some smallass inexpensive gift (greatly thought out) that might mean the world to them. Howabout, simply telling them “ya know, you’re a good friend.” I know how I’d feel if I heard that.
The third group. Special-self. I suggest nodding your head in agreement with whatever they say, and thinking to yourself “you’re so fulla shit, I kimda-sorta despise you but I’m mandated to sit here this instant so I do.”
To the fourth group. Please don’t take this for granted. All “Special” situations end. All of ‘em. Put a topping on that ice cream of life, don’t live vanilla only. Please take a moment, daily, if you do have a “Special” partner. Then close your eyes, imagine them gone. Not for a second, imagine this for an hour. Lay down for an hour and think of this person not being there. I suggest you do this frequently.
Your car breaks down on the road. He/she ain’t there any more. Logistical stuff like a $1000 mortgage payment that two shared is now burdened by one. You wake up in the morning, reach over, and grab nothing but sheet. Ever notice how GD long the sofa is with only one sitting in it? I saw an email the other day that suggested simply answering the phone with a smile. Little is BIG.
Victor, is this another pity party? Nah, not really. I just thought the friends with beni’s thing was special, but nobody else did - so I thought “what really is special?” I do miss all those things about the 4th group. It was now long ago I had them. We each are very different people now. Kinda allofasudden I, somehow from her shoes, lost that “special-ness”, and when that happens in any arrangement - it’s history. They say that can’t be repeated. Another actor can play the part, and hopefully the sequel is even better.
I love special (1, 2, and 4). They help make days special. They go a long ways to bringing a smile to my day, some pep in my step, and I remember with #4 I even got laid occasionally.
May you (uh oh, it’s the preacher in him coming out) appreciate special too. Many of you already do, I’m certain. In our own way, let’s somehow communicate that to them. And promise ourselves to not take special for granted - and hopefully use it to be special ourselves.
K, snap out of it and quit staring at your pecs. The dishes need washing. There’s a load to do, and caller ID says “Sally”… “Eh, she’ll call back.”
Hehe. Love, Victurd
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