Parking…

We don’t think about parking very much – but we all do it every day. Some, many times.

Long ago my grandparents lived in a small town – and the thing to do for old people (people approximately my age now and up) was to “go to town” to simply visit with other older people… Victor, you’ve told this one already. I don’t care, that’s what we old people do, we repeat things, so you’re stuck.

Anyways, they’d let their hound “Skip” out the door thirty minutes before they took the seven block ride to town – and Skip would meander thataway, and lay down in their parking place until they got there. Perty cool I thought. Every day. Seven/365.

Then, two cents gotya thirty minutes on the meter, a nickel two hours, and for a quarter – hell you could fly to Hawaii and back and still be ok. Now, to go to town – at least in the big city here, it’s $10 to park.

Do kids “park” any more? Back in the day, the lower level lot at the small local college was the gathering place. Twosomes. It wasn’t for visiting – it was for – well, makin’ out I guess it was called. There wasn’t a night all year with less than fitteen cars there. Windows really got steamed up in the winter time.

Sometimes ‘parkers’ agitates me. The Pour Boy. Occasionally someone who’s “somebody” will drive up, stop RIGHT in front, park and go inside. Everyone else is left to completely walk around their car. I ain’t big on being inconsiderate.

Mickey D’s this morning, bright and early. Some idiot had his Caddy parked completely across three handicap parking places. I purposely went to the spot just on the other sidea his car so this lazy ass would have to backup and turn to get out. Inconsiderate. What if there had been other handicaps trying to park?

Once – college – fraternity brother of ours – his VW was parked at the college beside the curb. Well, we were young, spunky, combined – the six of us had some pretty good strength – so we thought his car would look better up on the sidewalk – so that’s where we took it. Dunno if he gotta ticket or not, but he was a little embarrassed.

Bear. Nuther fraternity brother. Mall. Leaving the parking lot.. Scraped another car. Eyeballs on him. “Shit, they saw it.” Bear, quickly turned back in, jumped out, scribbled “scribble” on a piece of paper, stuck it on the dudes windshield, off he went.

My pappy usedta be in sales, and he’d get his exercise by “parking far away, and taking a long walk to wherever I was going.” Hell, nowadays Malls are dying. Like mushrooms, up pop the Kohls, Targets, Best Buy’s, Gordmans – places where we lazy bastards can drive right on up to the door – insteada escalators and long Mall hall walks.

We get in arguments over “that guy better not take my spot, I was here first.” Heard on the radio this morning – onea the DJ’s parked last night – and the car next to him in “the only spot left in the lot” was hella over the line. U know the type that do that. Usually it’s them dually hella tall fancy truck ya need a boost to even get in. Anyways, DJ intricately parks within two inches of “duallys” driver’s side door – so he’d have to get in from the passenger side. When DJ got back to his car, dually was gone – and coke poured allover DJ’s windshield. He said it was worth it. Me thinks so too.

Pa, again.. Victor – you’ve told this one too. KMA. 80-something. Leaving the Post Office, small town, 6,000 folks. Bumped a car, didn’t know he had. Two minutes later, three blocks from the Post Office, two cop cars. “Hit and Run Mister”. Hehe. Fortunately, his girlfriend was on the City Council, was with him, and she talked their way outta a ticket.

Seena friend last night. Unfortunately, like many my age, dealing with aging parents. Her mom has gone from home, to assisted, to now a nursing home. We spoke of driving – and taking away car keys. Not something enjoyable, but sometimes a “have to.” Her mom had all four corners of her car dinged up. When she noticed it, she approached her mom and thankfully her mom said “you know, I just think it’s time I stopped driving.” Whew.

And then (Victor you’ve told this one too. I know, but I oh so love it.) there was the old feller that, pulling into his driveway, hit the gas insteada the brake – ran thru his garage door, panicked, put it in reverse, hit the gas insteada the brake, ran across the street thru the neighbor’s garage door. Hehe. See, I even liked it the second time you rotten breath!

Bluebark. That I don’t enjoy hearing, seeing. We move military member’s goods where I work. Every once in awhile, up on the screen pops “BLUEBARK.” This is when we’re moving the goods of a deceased member of the Military Service. Not long ago, we had a deceased soldier’s car being taken to his home. Guy driving the big rig called, said, “There’s no way I can get this car to their house, I’m gonna park it about a mile away and leave it.” “Like hell you are buddy” (boss said) “this man gave his life for you, me, our country – you find a way to get it to his house – even if you have to take the car off, drive it there and get a taxi back to your truck.” YEAH for the boss!

K, that’s enough about parking. I’d better get back to work.

I do have a moral question for you. Laundromat. Last person (besides you) in there leaves. A completely full, probably $7 box’a laundry detergent upon the shelf. What does ya does? It wasn’t the person’s that just left, you knew that. Take it? No way?
(It’s in my trunk, mebbe I’m headed for hell, dunno. Going downtown this weekend, gotta save them bucks so’s I can park.)

Have a lovely day – and don’t bump anyone parking, and please don’t be inconsiderate.
Love, Victurd.