440 days of poop.. where does it go?

Weird thoughts…

Caboose. Yes, used as a simile for derrieres. I’m talking the real ones. Trains. End of train. I wonder how many Burlington Northern Atchison Topeka and the Sante Fe retirees there are out there whose sole job was to operate the caboose. Which, I hear tell meant to sleep a lot, read a lot, keepa pint withya at all times - and dial up the Engineer of the train after the train had clearly crossed the tracks, so the crossing sign could be raised.

When we owned our ’mom and pop’ cartage business.. (Air cargo delivery, 24/7).. Onea our customers flew “end of train devices” allover the US. The end of train device replaced these BNATSF retirees. A twelve inch square box, with an electronic seeing eye, it relayed to the engineer automatically after the train had clearly crossed the tracks, so the crossing sign could be raised. When one would go out, they’d fly it into Kansas City, and we’d pick it up, go meet trains in far off “out there” places like Salina, KS, Peru, NE, Waverly, MO, yada.

Would be a pretty shitty feel to know “I’ve been replaced by a box. A twelve inch square box.” Yeah, I rectum, but the boxes don’t drink too much, are awake when they need to be, don’t have have babies with high hospital bills, sick days, vacation, yada, yada. “Progress.”

Speakin’ o shitty. I went to read about Reid. Remember? The fitty-something dude who took the early 20-something lass out on the schooner in effort to become the “longest continuous sail without stopping on land.”? Well, he’s up to 440 days now. That’s a lotta poop. Outta the bowels to be stored where? The bow? I mean for real, the hell’s he do with it? U think it’s flushed into the ocean to pollute the flying fish, manatees, sharks, mahi mahi? U think it’s used as fertilizer to perpetuate them bean sprouts he keeps talkin’ about eatin? Eww.

Jobs. Age 16. I’m so old, I remember my sister getting a job at the local “Public” swimming pool (“Public” asterisked due to owner - back in them days - not letting blacks in. He also happened to be HS Football Coach who said “Run Charlie, take that ball and run!”.. Nope, u can’t swim here though.”) Anyways, she worked at the wading pool, fitty cents an hour. For real. Her biggest obstacle turned out to be “the net and floating turds.” WHY IS THIS BLOG ABOUT WATER AND POOP? Wasn’t my intent when I started out. I shit you not. S’more…

Michel Inoa. 16 years old. Dominican Republic. Happens to be blessed with a 95 mile per hour fastball. Oh, and a newly signed contract with the Oakland A’s for 4, count ‘em $4.25 million dollars. That’s a tad more than my sister made. That’s 1,062,500 gallons of gas, or enough to drive your Ford Focus around the globe one-thousand, four hundred ninety three times. Weird. Simply weird. Good for him though.

Speakin’ o weird (DON’T SWAT ME)… Women. I metta gal online, lives in same town. We emailed back and forth.. A nice lady.. Finally met. A nice walk around town. Who can tell anything from the first meeting. So heck, even before I’d gotten back home, I had this email in my mailbox “I had a good time walking and talking with you. It is amazing how many of the same people we know. Kind of fun. I hope we can get together and visit again.”

I liked her. I liked her asking me about me. Many don’t do that. I liked the fact she loves her kids/g-kid. I like the fact she hada hella smile. I liked the fact she was polite, nice. And, of course - oink-oink, she was easy on the eyes and she’s done a remarkable job staying in shape.

So what’s wrong with all that Victor? Ahm, she disappeared. It’s my hope she found someone she so wants to throw on the floor and smother. “I hope we can get together and visit again.” Yeah yeah, but, before that she wrote “Kind of fun.” So I rectum I shoulda figured. Tis cool, it’ll happen when it happens.

Til then, I’ll sit and write about weird shit to you, whomever u are. I hopes I find one that ain’t domineering who allows Victurd’s freedom to write. That’d be nice.

S’more about the Dominican kid. If he did purchase all that gas, and drive around the circumference of the earth 1,493 times.. And he started today.. At 24,901 miles per trip, at 60 miles per hour, he would be 4,243 years of age when he finished. That’s not even taking into consideration him stopping to poop in the ocean.

Victor, you’re weird. Very weird. I know, but I’m the baby, gotta love me! Love, Victurd