Reflections......

Some things are tougher for some than others... What some can do with ease and grace - others get all ouchy inside in preparation for their attempt... I've bored you before with the fact I dropped outta Cub Scouts right before Boy Scouts began - simply because I had to do a good deed for the church --- and our family had never gone to church... I had no idea how to act once I entered their doors... What to say to the preacher... etc... (Oh what a formative point in my life... I'm certain my mother had no idea why I quit - but she was on my team, for whatever I wanted... so.. I became an average ole jock... In youth, jocks win, geeks lose... In adulthood, jocks lose, geeks win... my bad!)

Part of dealing with something that is tough for one is the reaction of the person on the other end... I'd been to the dentist... Didn't eat all day for fear of them finding little sawed up chunks of bacon between a couplea molars... Finally out of the office, one tooth pulled, one tooth fixed.. multiple shots to the jaw... Walked into Mickey D's... I was starving.. Older lady met me with a wonderful smile... Probably working in part because she had to - and in part because she wanted to surround herself with youth.. anyways, I say "Aaaaahhhhhdddd lllliiiiiikkkeeee" OH SHIT.. I hadn't talked to anyone since I'd gotten the shots.. My mouth was numb as hell.. I couldn't form words... One of the most embarrassing moments in my life.. Again, as I stared at her warm, understanding smile "aaaa chhheeeezzzzzzeeebbbbbuuuuurrrger and ff-ffff-fffreeenccchhhh friiiieeess please." Got the please out fast cause I knew I was done... Her reflection went a long way in easing my fear, letting me know - hey, it's ok.

My entire family spent a vast portion of their lives in plays - getting up infronta others and speaking/acting as if it were a cinch. Nomme. They begged me to be in a play.. huh uh... no.. nada... (Finally I gave in... was a deaf mute in one they were in.. hehe.. knew my lines before anyone!)... When my father passed - I knew I had to speak at his funeral.. Had is probably not the correct word... I wanted to speak at my father's funeral.. I was scared shitless.. The reflection that assisted me on this one was the ex.. Well, it really wasn't her - it was the two valium she gave me.. but the point being - she could sense - or knew in advance this would be tough for me.. thus, she made it easier..

Usedta own a little mom and pop air cargo delivery business. One of the customers I had was in charge of taking the umpires crap to and from the airport upon completion of a baseball series... So... drug my son with me.. he was all of six - but already a HUGE Major League Baseball fan.. A huge Bo Jackson fan.. But for him to meet them in person? No way.. He'd turn his head away shyly... in hopes of not having to speak..

Sitting in between the Royal's lockeroom and the Visitor's lockeroom - my son and I sat on the floor to await the que to come grab the umpire's junk... Wally Joiner was a fav of ours as well... So Wally walks out... He doesn't come up to Maynard with the corny "HEY LITTLE MAN, GIVE ME FIVE"... no... he senses Maynards uncomfortableness... comes down to our level - sits 6-7 feet on the other side of Maynard.. and asks "how's it goin?"... Way cool. Maynard surely had to think "hey, he's just like me."... "Fine.. how are you?"... Wally was a good reflection during a tough time..

Niece and I attended the Royal's annual banquet one year.. Kirk Gibson was being honored for "World Series Hero"... Valerie loved Kirk Gibson... She was maybe eleven at the time.. After dinner.. after the awards... finally there would be time to get an up close picture... "Mr. Gibson... can I take a picture of you?"... "yeah"... So, niece steps back a few feet.. she's literally shaking so bad as this is a difficult thing for her.. it was hard enough to speak to him.. even harder for her to hold the camera steady to snap... after some time in trying to steady the camera - Gibson looks at her and yells "COME ON... HURRY UP"... Kirk wasn't a very good reflection - he was SOMEBODY - and didn't wanna deal with us NOBODIES.. Thank goodness for the Wally Joiners of the world..

Another diddie I was alway uncomfortable with was the receiving line at funerals. What to say... I guess it was my mother's funeral that eased this fear.. it doesn't matter what is said... "I'm sorry" is simply perfect.. just the fact one shows concern enough to be there... in this instance - it's the reflector who has the tough job - and sure, it's tough to try to make comfort for them in their loss - but just being there helps to do so.. Calm the reflector..

As I was driving to work this morn... I sensed a pressure to "write... be funny".. I know this ain't been funny.. But, I sense that you (if you're still here) reading this - possess the ability to react however you wanna. I appreciate that. From life's stories and lessons - I hope whenever I sense someone is doing something that's difficult - I hope to be a Joiner and notta Gipson. Life's all about reflections.. I got to thinking as I thought about "back in the day when I owned a mom and pop air cargo delivery company" and how old that sounded.. But, that's ok.. Our "back in the days" formulate who we are, and how we reflect. Today, in some sense, is your future "back in the day".. Happy reflections..... Victor