Due to the underwhelming response......

Plans for a nationwide Ben Dover Day have been cancelled... I moon all you sons-a-bitches...

Instead... I cast my vote for "Violate Me" day... (NO YOU SICKOS... there is no correlation between Ben Dover and Violate Me day.. READ ON.)

This could be done annually.. and if deemed popular - we could change it to like every 3rd Friday in months with 31 days... and if that weren't frequent enough, maybe we could do it monthly... what the hey...

The idea is... regardless if you're in a relationship or not.. on the designated day - you getta coupon.... and with this coupon, you can walk up to anyoneyouwant, hand it over and say "violate me." They, the beautiful one, are forced (by decree of the law) to oblige.

I mean holy shit, who among us (INCLUDING you longterm marrieds) ain't seen someone - taken a deep breath and gone "Oh my gosh... oh my gosh..." We all have our likes and dislikes - what's attractive to one may not be to the other - but again, we've all had that moment where we internally talk to ourselves and say "wow... you're gorgeous... would you mind violating me for a few hours?"... Haven't we? (Or am I some kinda preverted puppy in la-la land?)

Since this act would have the blessing of Congress.. it would not be considered infidelity... Think of the enhancement of self esteem for us ugly ones... It would end prostitution... Porn would decrease... Priests would have a lot less to listen to in confession.. All the mental anguish caused by infidelity would be kapoot.. it has all kindsa upside...

Sure, it could cause pregnancies - but.. look at that on the bright side.. we need less of a gap between the ugly and the pretty - so.. it could be a good thing if unwanted pregnancies happened.. The world'd probably be a better place if there were less beautiful people, and less ugly people. I mean what the hey, mutts are the best dogs in the world.

What's in it for the beautful people? Who cares..er, I mean, they get the contentment of knowing they helped an ugly person increase their self image - and ya know, it may be that they might run across an occasional ug and think "hey, that wasn't a bad lay."

The idea might appall some... but for others the day will come where "honey.. I'm going out for 'Violate me' " would become as common as "honey... I'm going to the store - back in a few."

Anyone in favor of "Violate Me" day?

And Gracie (said with love)... there is absolutely ZERO truth to the rumor this has anything to do with Felicia, the 28 yr old blackjack dealer.)