It's terminal.......

The light knock came upon the door - and since it was "his house" the Doc emerged on through without waiting for me to open the examining room door...

"Victor..." he deadpanned "I am afraid due to complications from your shortpeckeritis, I must inform you you've only got 20, maybe 25, 30 max years left to live."

Gulp. I knew it was coming, dark at the end of the tunnel. Holy shit, whadda I do now?

Reflect first I guess... Among some of my life's accomplishments: I went UP the courthouse steps in a Jeep... I put Maple Syrup in Stinger's Johnson's Baby Shampoo cause he usedta wake us up at 6am every day... Back to the courthouse steps: I gave a speech at our Homecoming rally my senior year --> right after, walked up to the Juvenile authorities 'cause my 90 day license suspension (yes, drinking and driving) was over - they kinda did a double take as they had been watching thru the windows...

I coached a college Women's Softball Team to a perfect record. I'd coached basketball and done a decent job, so they said "hey Vic, we're gonna start a softball team - can you help?" Sure.. We didn't have a pitcher - and that's a pretty important thing in softball - our record was perfect, but it was 0 and 18, not 18 and 0. Oops.

I've purposely smoked numerous cigarettes to give my teeth this kinda corn colored yeller effect - thus running off two wives in the process... I'm a professional bowler (Entered bigass tournament here years ago.. really sucked.. but, 30 days after tourney they mailed me a $5 check for finishing in the bottom 50.. that STILL makes me a professional, they paid me.)

I've had more jobs than fingers and toes combined. That wasn't an early goal, but once I got to two hands, one foot I figured 'what the hey' - go for it.

I supposed I oughta throw these in:... We had the biggest airline hub here so it was kinda a gimme - but I was the US leader in cargo sales for Braniff at one time... The college women's basketball team I coached did win the small college state championship... My dad said he'd gimme $50 if I ran for Student Council President, so I did.. no competition, won that... I quit a job on principle, started my own company, made $60 the first month, we were living off of it by the third month (wouldn't you know, a few years later it came down to a vote to see if we should sell or keep the business... I lost 1 to 1.)... I really think I'm the most proudest of my relationship with Maynard from ages 0 thru 13. We literally spent hour upon hour daily doing one on one father-son things. That relationship has encountered a pretty decent jolt the last few years - but I believe in U-turns - so I continue to pray.

And now the fessin' up portion of my life: When I was 9 mom gave me $5 to buy a Christmas gift for my cousin. Dropped me off at Antioch Shopping Center. I bowled $4 worth of it and bought a crappyass $1 bottle of cologne.... I once farted my junior year, only it wasn't just a fart - had to go home... Yes, I was one of the seven Sigma Nu's who pushed the campus security guard's (Barney Fife lookalike/act alike) Cushmann 3-wheeler down the hill 200 yards into the tree. Forgive me Father for I have sinned..

Canardly. I canardly wait for the remaining 20, 25, 30 years. (I once walked into a pet store.. dog after dog in cages for sale.. labels below cage.. Beagle.. German Shepherd.. Labrador Retreiver.. Canardly.. I'd never heard of Canardly so I fell for their trap... "what kinda dog is a Canardly" I eyeballed the clerk.. "we Canardly tell ourselves" she said heartily laughing at my expense. Bitch.)

So....... I've had a glorious past. And I do look forward to the future. More stories to be created, more good times to be had... then one day I will pee my pants and forget my name. I hope, as I fight to beat this dreaded disease shortpeckeritis, I get to touch as many people that have touched me over the years. Thanks for being there...... bye bye now......

lemme see... 30 years times 365 days = 10,950 days... holy SHIT, I better make this a good one!