I’m bored shirtless. Maynard is away, which (close your ears) is a good thing upon occasion. I could maybe even get into it permanently. I DO like the sound of silence in the house. I DO enjoy watching my cats do absolutely nothing. I DO enjoy the freedom to do whatever I want, whenverinthehell I want.
Woke up this morning “oh, it must be Sunday… big paper… coffee at Perkins (they giveya a whole pot, u ain’t gotta sit in frustration whilst waitress Shirley walks by your empty cup 14 times).. Same ole.
I return home, having read all about MU losing (again).. Peeked thru the obits so I wouldn’t be embarrassed some day and ask “how’s old so-and-so doing?”… went thru the coupons again - not finding 9-Lives $1 off thingies… thumbed thru the wars going on in our world… the ’war’ among the candidates… the locals writing in to bitch about this and that… read my horoscope.. Coffee’ed out… some 8 cigs later.. paid my $1.92... Drove home..
Sat here. “Here” has been both a Godsend and a ball and chain. Since she drove off on a Harley, I’ve met and gone out with Annie, Carrie, Sheri, Lorraine(2), Reba, Wendie, Connie, Cherryl, Lara, Gwynn, Kate, Twila, Sharlyn, Tammie, Vickie, Patsy, Cathy, Beverly, Debbie, Kathie, Teresa, and I know I’m missing seven or twelve, maybe thirty..
That is by no means braggadocios.. It’s actually kinda sad. So many people in this world simply wanting to share, so many people not having the sufficient GPS built in to get to that final destination of coupledom.
So what, pray tell, is “the end”? Boredom. All people experience boredom. We’re bored on roadtrips. We’re bored in our cubicles. We’re bored in conversation. We’re bored in “same ole, same ole.” We bored in single hood. Some even are bored in coupledom - scroll to “rode off on a Harley.”
I arrive here, look, in order - this dot.com, that.com, another dot.com… haven’t checked this dot.com in awhile.. Do… and mebbe one or two more… then it’s “now what?”.. That dreaded point where one must task the brain and ask “now wtf do I do?”
Read an article… 6 ways to combat boredom.
#1. Recognize it. (Well duh.)
#2. Surround yourself with ‘do-ers”. Nope, cats won’t work. Where does one find do-ers?
#3. Alternate between reading and writing. Doing that. I’ve clicked like twenty sites just since I started this stupid blog. Sorry… still bored.
#4. Be irrational. That’s a good one, I like it - but I already kinda do that. Like when I see my buddy Shelton (close ur ears, we call him “the pussy monger” because he ALWAYS walks up to the prettiest girl in the place - and starts his dapper ways.).. I see this, walk by and say “Shelton! When’d you get outta jail?” Or something similar. I tell Mary T at work (sweetest person on the planet) after she hangs up with a customer “quit being so GD nice - it bores me.” So, I do this crap. You’ve got two left to unbore me.
#5. Connect with an old friend. Hell, all my friends (most) are old. That’s easy, and I do so on a regular basis. If you’da tweaked it justa tad “connect with an old GIRLfriend, hells yes, that mighta worked. Brb, going to see if I still have Annie, Carrie, Sheri, Lorraine(2), Reba, Wendie, Connie, Cherryl, Lara, Gwynn, Kate, Twila, Sharlyn, Tammie, Vickie, Patsy, Cathy, Beverly, Debbie, Kathie, Teresa’s email addys.
#6. Get out and play. Hell, I go to the Pub House, and before I even reach my “Norm and Cliffy” spot at the bar, my Miller Lite awaits me. I referee, that’s play. I played softball. I go to sporting events. The City Market. I take walks. I take spins. I go see ex inlaws. I organize after work crap. Sorry. Still bored here.
Pavlov found he could make dogs drool. Dogs create saliva at the sighta food. He’d walk out in his lab coat and feed them. Then he noticed, if he walked out in his lab coat - no food - they’d associated that with food, thus, they drooled. He would hit a bell as he fed them. They’d salivate. No food, hit bell, they’d salivate again.
I’m drooling. I’m dot-com’ed out. I’ve peed away the coffee, thrown away the paper.. Hell even revisiting the life and times with Annie, Carrie, Sheri, Lorraine(2), Reba, Wendie, Connie, Cherryl, Lara, Gwynn, Kate, Twila, Sharlyn, Tammie, Vickie, Patsy, Cathy, Beverly, Debbie, Kathie, Teresa didn’t so much as cause a twitch.
Quoting Beeltejuice…”somebody help me.” I’m debating between a nap, cleaning the kitchen, washing and vacuuming the car, picking up around the yard, rechecking yahoo, hotmail, myspace, that crap. Ok, nap wins.
Seeya. Where does one find do-ers? Love, Victurd.
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