Of pop-ups, junk email, and junk mail………

Ur pissin’ me off! Hehe.

Back in the day, had a great aunt and uncle, happened to live in Iowa… nice people… actually farmed and pretty darn well to do… They gallivanted allover God’s green earth.. And they never once paid for a night in a motel.

Now this wouldn’t be so bad, except they never shared their travel plans/itinerary.

So…. Knock on the door… Deep breath… Mostly fake smile.. “Oh HI ____ and _____! How are you?” And, up under your breath,”how long ya stayin’ this damn time?”

I feel the same way about pop-ups, junk email and junk mail. It gets my goard to be sitting here, mebbe writing to you.. Maybe winging an email.. Maybe peeking at CNN.. Maybe watching por… oops.. Sorry.. And a GD pop-up pops up promising to rid my system of intrusive malware, spy ware, yada. Uh huh. Sure.

So I always scroll to the bottom of their site, look for “contact us” and feel very good winging an anonymous email “you sunsabitches! How intrusive!.. How can you friggin’ sleep knowing that’s the way you/your company go about business?”.. and I use a few more expletives.. And I guess you could liken it to the henpecked dude who gets on the highway by his lonesome and dotes in road rage. “I’ll show them bastards!”.. Hehe.

It ain’t as bad as burglary. Theft. Larceny. But the ‘scum’ permeates it/them. Picture them nerdy ass little horn rimmed dudes punching in all kindsa programming crap - and having great smiles/cyber orgasms as they find ways to worm their way into our system. Bastards!

Junk email. Junk email is not quite as bad as the junk mail that finds it’s way into the ‘approved’ mailbox. Them sunsabitches too infringe. Probably same little horn-rimmed guys on their 2nd job, ‘doing’ themselves twice in one day.

I go to internet tools, block their damn site, but they finda way, somehow, to again penetrate the firewall.

Junk mail. Capitol One, you are scourge. Your credit card interest rates must be SKY HIGH to afford sending me regular mail daily (along with the same letter to my ex at my address.) If only I had a fireplace and the need for kindling.

Thank you - blog - for allowing me to have this bitch session.

Going now. Going to run me that free virus/anti spy scan. Going to buy me some discounted Viagra. Gonna cleanse my colon. Eww. They really send those. You get ‘em? Gonna whiten my teeth. (Hey, as a smoker, I actually opened that one up.).. And, do you really think they can 'lengthen' it? I'm being serious! Hehe.

Gonna take the three ads from the local grocery stores, and go shop and buy the discounted crap at each. Gonna take that car key the dealer on the edgea town mailed me, and see if it’s my lucky day. Gonna go purchase a house from the realtor that mails me twice a month. Gonna go write a check to the college I gradjugated from. They’ve been faithfully asking me to for 30 years now. Uh huh. Right. Just as soon as I finish fixing my leaky roof, buying a new pool liner, backyard fence, Central Air unit, and 3 panel garage door.

Wow. Better. Feel better now. I hates intrusions. But, to stop and think about it.. I’ve got relatives allover the country. I’ve always desired traveling. Free food, free ‘rent’.. No mailbox. No pop-ups, junk emails. What could be better.

I might just take that car key the dealer mailed me and see if it’s my lucky day. Starting in St. Louie I think. Seeya in five hours 2nd cousin Jeannie! Charlee? Where is it exactly you live now? Gail? How's the weather on the Left Coast? Charie? It ain't hurricane season in Florida is it? Roe, them casinos still open near Topeka?

Love, Victurd.