I am fitty-five… Long about ten years ago, feller about to forfeit a softball tourney due to lackaplayers, dialed me up, said “Vic, please.” So I did. I pitched, did ok. I think we won more than we lost, and at the end, they said (mebbe kinda-sorta as if ‘forced’) “Vic, you’re still playin’ good ball.” Eh, whatever.
Fast forward to last year. Final gamea the season. Same kinda phone call (damn, were they WAY down on the list.). Sure, I’ll play. So I did, and, I still have/left with, two intact cataract implants, and no pee stains from FearOfGoingToTheER after the game.
Their begging, this year, turned to “ahm, I’d like to try it again… may I?”… “Why sure Vic, we’d love to have you on our team.” Wha’d u say sonny? Canardly hear. “WHY SURE VIC, WE’D LOVE TO HAVE YOU ON OUR TEAM.” The lying bastards. They’re in a “youth movement”, but I’d bought one or five of ‘em rounds at ‘The Corner’, so they felt obligated.
Have you ever “set something down” ten years ago, and can’t find it? Uh huh, my glove. Can’t find the bastard. “Hey Vic” beckoned lefthanded Dick “I’ve got two, reach in my bag and grab the other.” K. Did.
So. First practice. Warming up. Let alone that it’s been ten years, but I have new eyeballs too. Simply playing ‘catch’. It’s different. It ain’t me. It ain’t like it was. YES, I can type this GD blog now in Times New Roman 12, and read it no sweat, and YES, I can be on aisle 3 at the Piggly Wiggly and see what’s on aisle 11, but it just ain’t the same. So I butchered a few fly balls, wrote it off to being “fitty-something” and that was that.
Second practice, actually played some young shits in a practice game… about the same. Did Ok, nothing outstanding, nothing to be embarrassed about. That, plays huge.
GAME TIME. The REAL thing. I was an hour early, sorry. Basta’s were on cells dialing and begging “I don’t think we’ll have enough… can u get to the City Park by 5?”.. Time for pitch #1, there were 18 of us accumulated. Twas cool though, all got to bat , and all got to play the field.
My first at bat. Whilst I’d attended both practices (of about seven of us could say the same), it really didn’t matter when the batting order was compiled - and hey, I’m Ok with that. I was like 12th. After Tom. We finally got to where Tom was next up.. And “Vic, you’re in the hole”.. Oh they painted that one correctly. I’d gone to the batting cages before the game, but I was the only one there over 12, so I didn’t partake.
Tom singles. My turn. “Come on Vic, getta hit”. Yeah right. The first pitch wasn’t good, so I took it. Ball 2. (You start with a 1 and 1 count.) The second pitch was perfect, but I foul it outta play. I’m thanking the Gods I didn’t swing-and-miss. Finally, I closed my eyes, swung as hard as these “55 cent coffee at McDonalds” arms would let me, and lo and beholf, single up the middle.
There were two outs, and I was left stranded, but it was a HUGE exhale, as I didn’t embarrass myself.
A couplea more innings at catcher.. One or two in the field.. My turn again.
This was my third turn up. Bottom o’ the 7th, runners on first and second.. We were down by 8. Oh shit. I hate the pressure. So, again, I close my eyes, swing as hard as I can… GD ground ball back to pitcher… he throws to second (one out) and then first (double play).. Sorry.. I tried.
Ok, starting game two. I had a beer, played a couple innings in the field. Then me again to bat. The pitcher had “talked me into” swinging at “shit” pitches in game one. Mebbe, I’d learned.
Boom. Base hit to left field. Line drive over shortstop’s head. I was happy, I was on first, I was worrying about pulling a muscle, life, it was simply good.
We eventually lost both ends of the double header. We played for two hours, and drank for like four after. I hadn’t embarrassed myself. I went “2 for 4”, not bad by ‘fitty-five year old’ standards..
To be honest, I was elated. No scorn pointed at me. I was ‘so-so’ versus ‘you GD so-and-So’/ On my second hit, there was actually a groupa ‘hens’ sitting in the bleachers that went ballistic. Way cool. I was reminded of being 13 again. In fact, they sat damn close to where those did in that day and age. DeJaVictor.
We’re offa week for Memorial Day, then we restart the following Sunday. I’m on Cloud 9 about it. Ya just don’t know how lonely a single dude gets. I pray my new eyeballs keep it up. I am so thankful I’ve once again got the opportunity to do this.
Our team is named “The Raleigh Hills All-Stars”. Well.. Raleigh Hills is an old folk’s home. No, it’s not a legit sponsorship. They/we stole the name. I just hope, next time they announce the batting order, I’m still like 11th. And not a fulltime resident.
Put me in coach. I’m ready to play. Love, Victurd.
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