This’n that about sumpin……..

San Diego. Stepson gallivanted to San Diego to spread his wings a few years back. Whilst there, on and off again for about four years - I monitored the temps out there. Holy crockadoodle. Ne’er waivered ten degrees from 70. Sumbitch. Perfect. THAT, is what we witnessed last week (except for a few fitty’s mornings).. El glorioso. The best, perfect, relaxing, comfy, moodlifting.

1000days.net. Ruh roh. U remember Reid and Soanya? Uh huh, them two. He 58-ish, she 24-ish. Set sail over a year ago from NY in their homemade schooner in attempt to sail 1000 days continuous without ever stopping on land (the record is 600-something days.) Well, they broke the record for continuous man/woman sailing - but Soanya could never kick the seasickedness… and an Aussie crew came and rescued her after 300-some days. Now, reports in NY papers - seems Mr. Reid owes back child support in excess of $10,000. Damn daddy. They may be waiting for him upon his return. Could mebbe seize his boat. Could mebbe give him “another 1000 days.”

Excelsior. The one day of my life spent with someone way too young for me (no, not teenager u preverts, she was 36.) Anyways, inspitea her (after a few martinis) telling me “you’re not what I want” and “what are you __ “ (a guess of ten years older than I actually am. Damnit Jim) Anyways, in the end, she said “Actually, I had a very nice time” and there was even a goodbye kiss with ‘baby feel.’.. Dummy me, left without phone number. Drove by her house two weeks ago. Got addy. Mailed letter. “Don’t haveta think longterm, we had fun, let’s go out again and simply live.” She just left a “hello Victor, this is ____” message on my answering machine. No caller ID. Damnit Jim. Criminy, did u hear the stamp went from .41 to 42? I know there ain’t no ‘tomorrow’ here, but hey, just her even calling back was almost as mucha ‘feel good’ as the past week’s weather.

Arms. Victor, you’re weird. I knew that. Mickey D’s, you know the routine (fitty-four cent “Senior Coffee please”/their newspaper/people watching.) Looked up, seen this lady sitting at counter. Noticed her arms. Pretty arms. See, told you you were weird Victor. I know, but they were defined. Not masculine. Defined. I likes that. I never knew or realized that was a ‘perk to me’ until I thought it this morning. No, I ain’t no arm-prevert like there are foot-fetish preverts - it was simply a pleasant realization, and a getting to know me better kinda thing.

The Love Boat. I oh so love (as a person) my friend “Sum”. She just returned from her first ever cruise. Compliments of her friend’s father for her friend’s birthday (which included ‘daddy’ getting Mastercard out for their $1500 (uh huh $1500) bar tab. I feel sorry for her kinda-sorta though - cause when this 25 yr old stepped foot on the boat - they realized there was an entire college fraternity (sans sorority girls).. And if that weren’t enough, a couple handfuls of Marines. Poor Sum, what’s a girl to do? Within minutes of arrival onboard (and after a few preboard cocktails.) dude says “hey, we’re playing a game, wanna play?” “SURE!”.. So, dude set two gallon buckets ‘down yonder’. Gave them each a golf ball. Asked them to place between their knees, takeoff, and race (waddle) to the bucket, first one in wins. They did. (Picture here two 25 yr old chicks waddling with golf balls between knees, a giggly kinda thing.) Can’t remember who won. But. There were TV’s plastered allover ship. Dining hall. Rec room. Casino. Etc. Turns out, this was a commercial for the steamlines, and there they were, each and ever hour of the entire however many days (5 I think?) cruise, waddling to the delight of all. “Sum” has many pics plastered on her MySpace page, we recently had lunch and I said “Sum, I counted like pics of you with 17 different guys.” “Uh huh, that pretty much describes the cruise.” GodBless her. I honestly don’t think I know anyone who sucks up each and every second of life more than her. I love that about her. (My sister was like that -sucking up each and every second. Different technique, but I know they woulda loved each other had they met. Victor, that’s too GD longa paragraph. This is a blog you idiot, I’ll do as I please.

Recent “ups”: churchgoingVeryNiceLady at work. Whenever she hangs up phone (I ain’t never seen/heard her mad, talk stern) I almost always say “quit being so disgustingly nice Travis.” Other day, she happened to be walking by my cubicle as I signed off a phone call “thank you sir, we appreciate your good work.” Turned table on me. “quit being so disgustingly nice VICTOR.” Ok, one point for her.

“Up” part II. Closing my bedroom door (my “Maynard shield”) and youtube’ing Carly/James “Mockingbird”,Fatbottom Girl”, “Oh Well Part II”, “Another brick in the wall”, “Low rider”, and any ole damn tune I wanna that just kinda-sorta helps to “feel” during this wonderful thing called life.

That was this’n that about sumpin. Tis my hopes u take ur life highlights and replay ‘em in your brain. Or to friends. Or write about ‘em, even if u never share. We get old, we forget. I’ll have this blog forever, so, one day - after I’ve peed my pants and forgotten my name. I can look back, think, that was one weird sumbitch. I’m glad I ain’t him. Love, Victurd