The Caribbean Cooler…..

Very very few things in life REALLY relax me… Sleep… Watching a good, fun movie AT the theater.. Laying down, cat level, petting Jackson.. Mebbe watching a baseball game.. That’s pretty much close to it…

We have a theme park here in Kansas City… World’s of Fun with the roller coasters (no thanks, it’s tough enough as is on the roller coaster of life) and Ocean’s of Fun, a swim park. Centered in Oceans of Fun is the Caribbean Cooler. It’s a waist deep, 800 foot mostly-circular lap thingy where they give you rafts - and there are jets, or something, that propel you around and around, again and again.. No effort needed on your part. The pace is PERFECTLY mild.. Relaxing. Hella relaxing, this magical ride of circulation is…

The Hot… Rod… Lincoln.. It’s got oil circulating, it’s life blood. As is the coolant that goes around and about the engine. There are dingers (checkenginelight) that tellya when it’s run afoul.. “Low engine oil”.. “Check temperature’.. Some folks, like can’t-control-their-libido men (and women), give up on the ole circulator when it hits 100,000 miles or so. They trade it in for a new model - one that will allow for continued assurance of proper circulation.

We walk allover the planet, and the circulation of our blood allows us to. It’s critical. It’s mandatory. It’s a must.

I was at the Laundromat the Sunday.. Little kid, maybe 8, with his grandma. I heard grandma say “no, my father’s dead.”.. Soon, the little boy ran up to me and asked “hey mister, is it father’s day?”… “No sir” and about that time the grandma chimed in “Joey, that’s in June.” It was sad I was reminded my father isn’t here any longer - but then I said a prayer of thanks that I am lucky enough to be.

When the HRL overheated (12 times) on the way home that night.. And finally it wouldn’t circulate any longer.. Oh yes, I wanted to trade her in right there for a ‘new model’.. mebbe a 45 yr old, rich, divorced blonde.. Instead I had it towed, fixed, and more tomorrows of circulation.

Pipes at home freeze in the winter time. Cars overheat. Our ownself overheats, perhaps has ticker problems. Ya just never know.

I was coming home tonight. Meeting a friend at 7. I hate being late. I’m never late. Two semi’s in the right 2/3’rds lanes on Interstate going up a hella hill, and I had to pass - and nervously see if I could make it back in the right lane to exit. I was frustrated - but then I realized, it’s Ok, I’m circulatin’.

When I got off the exit.. I was on a one-lane (no possible way to pass due to curbing) road.. And I got behind a nun (I know this because she later turned into the place where nuns stay) and she was doing 23, in a 45 mph zone. She had three, count ‘em three, identical bumper stickers that were actually on her bumper. (By now it’s 6:58pm). “JESUS CHRIST”, JESUS CHRIST”, “JESUS CHRIST.” Ironically, that was kinda what I was saying to myself. Now, I don’t believe I violated that Commandment, because some preacher dude once gave a sermon and said, “Actually, this Commandment is aimed primarily at those who believe but do nothing about it.” I do believe, I have done something about it, yet still I have to admit I kinda laughed when the bumper stickers described my feeling at the moment. The laugh reminded me, it’s all good, I’m still circulating. The water is ok, as is the oil. Blood must be goin’ good too.

Met up with my friend, a couple minutes late - but there we were - both stilla circulating, both smiling, both enjoying life.

There are bumps in the road no matta what u drive. The furnace will break down at some point on some cold winter’s day. The Hot.. Rod.. Lincoln.. will eventually keel… Shit happens. I’m still circulating. If you’re reading this, you’re circulating too.

Kids will beckon mom off the Caribbean Cooler to go watch them ride the water slides. Horn will sound when it’s time to get the hell offa the ride, the park is closing. People will pull out in fronta ya. Friends could say something really hurtful. There could be more bills than balance. The check to buy food for the resta the week might race payday’s automatic deposit to the wire. Women will run off on a Harley. The Red Sox will throw a no-hitter at the Royals. (Happened tonight.)

Bottomline, we’re still circulating. And it’s something to be thankful for. Borrowing from that little redheaded snotnose, the sun’ll come out, tomorrow.

Is fitty-five too old to go to Ocean’s of Fun just to ride/relax on the Caribbean Cooler? I hopes not, ‘cause I planta do it again one day. Providin’ I’m stilla circulatin’. May your arteries send it one way, and your veins the other for a long, long time. When pitfalls happen, remember, those things are still working, so whatever the problem, it too shall pass. Love, Victurd.