Like a red rubber ball….

Ball. Quite the interesting word.

Was in line at the concession stand at Royal’s Stadium. Struck up a conversation with the dude next to me. Seemed like a normal Joe. Long line, thus, more conversation - soon he introduced himself.. And I caught that his last name was Spalding. Spalding for years has made about every kinda ball imagineable. I stopped him and asked “Not THE Spadling family are you?”.. He giggled, then handed me his business card. Very true. There in black and white, his name, the Spalding Co logo… and at the bottom, in quote marks “No doubt you’ve played with my balls.”

Ball, as in cry. I know I know, this is actually spelled bawl, but it ain’t pronounced thata way, and whenever u hear “the kid was balling” it ain’t baWling.

Baller. This is any thug (or pro player) that has made it big. Jay-Z. Kobe. Garnett. Lebron. T.O. Randy Moss.

“He’s got balls” meant that you did something very stupid (thought to be deemed heroic in high school.) Such as, putting a poo poo cushion in History teacher’s (BIG lady) chair. Or perhaps a Playboy foldout in her rollout map of Antarctica.

“Ballsy” means smartass… pushes the envelope.

Got balled is to suffer embarrassing defeat.

Ball, as in rich people’s dance. Slow music, hors devours u can’t pronounce, full length gowns. Old money.

Ball, as in I Love Lucy. (Close your ears if you don’t wanna lose your ‘idol’ image of her. She usedta fly an airline I worked for all the time. She’d sit in first class (next to her manager).. Flight Attendant would ask “would you like some more?”… She’d turn to her manager, never look FA in eyes and announce “tell her no.” Her ball bounced just a bit too high I think.

Balls, as in those below the peni. Nads. Gonads. Family jewels. “The twins”. To repeat, to repeat, I will never perhaps be so humiliated as when I had surgery on an enlarged testicle.. The doc.. A bit on the limp-wrist side.. Summoned me back in the office 45 days after surgery. Drop trow.. Paces 25 feet back from me… turns.. Put his thumbs together.. Extended index fingers upward (as if looking thru like a movie director would) and proudly exclaimed “Perfect. They’re perfect.” (Don’t forget! 867-5309 for “perfect balls”)…

Friend had a bit’a bad luck? That’s the way the ball bounces.

Debate? Your turn to speak? It’s your turn to act and you must do something. The ball is in your court.

Starting: Play ball.

4 ball. 8 ball. 9 ball. Juiced ball. Microwaved (slow-pitch) balls. Bowling. Golf. Base. Foot. Soccer. Cricket. Volley. Rugby. (It takes leather balls to play rugby.) Tennis. Hand. Racquet. Soft. Super. Juggling. Ping pong. Whiffle. Squash. Cue. Medicine. Paint. Exercise. Cannon. Playground. BenWa (Is that when someone steals Ben’s ball and he cries?)

Sayings.. “I’ve got the crabs and the blue balls too, the crabs don’t hurt but the blue balls do.”

The ball dropping on Times Square.

Curve ball, fast ball, knuckle ball.

A ball of flame. Great balls of fire.

Alert, competent, or efficient (on the ball.)

Baseball. Where the guys kiss the girls on the strikes and the girls kiss the guys on the

Ball of cotton.

Kansan’s claim to fame: The world’s largest ball of twine.

“If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.”
Yogi Berra

“I ain't afraid to tell the world that it don't take school stuff to help a fella play ball.”
Shoeless Joe Jackson

“If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
Jack Lemmon

K. I’ve made my rounds for the day. (B)All tired out. Life’s a roller coaster - that’s the way the ball bounces. Gonna walk (ball four) to bed now. The twins have had a long day. Work, ball and chain. Enough stupid ball sayings, I can tell you’re getting a bit testi.

And I think it's gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball.

Gonna take my ball and go home now.

Love, Victurd.