Compilation….

When I look back - it’s been an interesting trip these last 7 years. I ain’t dated all that many - but it’s kinda like hearing Bobby Knight talk about setting the record for the most wins as a college basketball coach.. When asked how he felt, he said “Well… two things.. One, I’m thankful to have lived this long.. And two, it’s (the # of wins) is all about longevity.

So I’ve ‘been on the market’ awhile. I’ve dated from 90 to 200+ lbs. From “sliding around seat-belted in,” to “can’t get the seatbelt all the way around me.“ A cups to DDD cups. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, hate that gray wash it aways. 5’ to 5’11. Po, to do-fairly-well. Green eyes, blue, gray, hazel.

I can pee my name in the snow, I hate cats, I love cats, I love horses, I love my grandkids, “Do you want more children” (that was a one date kinda-thing, “Victor, you’re too GD old for her”), Granny panties, bikini’s, thongs, commando. (I ain’t saying I had sex in those 7 years, I think mebbe I just saw ‘em doing laundry.)

Virtually each and every one had a nicer car than I. Ladies with 0 to 7 children. Some still at home, some raising their grandkids. Ladies from 27 (VICTOR!) to 64 (VICTOR!)… with some 30’s, 40’s, fitties mixed in.

Women with striking eyes, legs, derrieres, skin tone, facial structure, SMILES. Shy, quiet women. Domineering women (uh oh, been there, nope), extroverts. Laughers, laugh til they cryed’ers, “don’t find the humor in that”ers.

Liberty, Kearney, Excelsior Springs, Newton, IA, Tampa, FL, St. Louis, Olathe, Raytown, Independence, Shawnee, Topeka, Lathrop, St. Joseph, Holt, Clinton, Overland Park, New Bloomfield, Waverly, Lawson, Wellsville, Kansas City, Breckinridge, Gladstone, Platte City, Lenexa, Parkville. I’m sure I’ve missed one or two, but holy guacamole that’s a lotta dinners, lotta gas. Me thinks at $4/gallon I’d mebbe better narrow this to like 12 blocks from home.

Good kissers, not so good kissers, “I like touch”, “Please, I’m not big on touch,” “I want you to know upfront I’m not easy” (I certainly wouldn’t know, but I’ve heard men say this really means “I can’t wait until we’re in full, nekked embrace.”).. “Let’s _____” (OMG.)

Beer drinkers, wine drinkers, hard stuff drinker, non-drinkers… cigs, no cigs, an occasional cigar..

Some that hurt me (no, not punches you goofball), some I hurt. Some, with mutual ends. Fond memories, some not so fond memories. Two I’d never seen even a pic in advance, several where we’d gone thru months of the procedure of IM’s, phone calls - meeting at safe place. Some I went to school with, some I grew up in the same town with (younger), some I met at an establishment, and yes, several online.

I’ve (we’ve) been to Worlds of Fun, New Orleans, Biloxi, Columbia, Boonville, St. Louie, State Fair, Outdoor concerts, Arena concerts, dives, Olive Garden, Chili’s, Fitty-fourth Street, Jackstack, Smokestack, Corner Café, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s, Arby’s, Sonic, Backyard Burgers, Dairy Queen, mom and pop breakfast places, Texas Tom’s, Texas Roadhouse, Mongolian BBQ, Arthur Byrants, Bob Evans, Waffle House (I was flat broke, she ordered HELLA breakfast, and then on the hash browns “smothered ” (cha ching) “covered” (cha ching) “topped” (cha ching) “diced” (cha ching) and “chunked” (cha ching.) I think the hash browns ended up costing $12. Ameripub Brewery, Ponaks, El Sombrero, The Hereford House, The Dish, Pizza (Pizza Hut, Godfathers, Minskys, Kelso‘s), Starbucks, Border’s, Jo Jo’s, The Pub House, the Landing, The Flamingo, The Corner, The Levee, Hotel continental breakfasts (Victor, no, say it ain’t so), miniature golf, go karts, real golf, volleyball, basketball, catch, swimming, canoeing, water slides, camping, horseback riding (well, mine didn’t like me, I sat in the corner of the arena for 43 minutes, gave up,)

Grilled out, cooked in, leftovers, watched TV, a movie, home movies, little kid’s ballgames, Royals, Chiefs, American Idol, Arena football.

OK Victor, STOP. Yeah, mebbe I should. My friends (married) see me and they’re envious. Some might feel this is braggadocios. Huh uh. Other way around. All of the above was/sounds like, fun. Longevity. I’m just glad to be alive.

For whatever reasons, there’s always been a fork in the road, one went one way, one the other.

In a heartbeat, I’d trade all of the above for a plain ole plain ole call at work - having caller ID, and it was “her”. THE one. Ne’er having the uncomfyness of date one again. Accept me, my ways, who I am. And vice versa. Humans, with good things, and with fault. Good moods, not so good moods.

In a weird sorta way I’ve loved each and every person I’ve gone out with. I’m very very grateful for time dedicated to me. Two-ness is unique. Two-ness always ends. I’d just liketa keep one around (and be kept around) for a little longer period than the tops of one year above.

This AIN’T a pity party. It’s me, it’s who I am, it’s where I’ve been. Tons of good memories. Tons. That’s May 31st, 2001 (Girl’s night out, her fanciest pair of undies) to May, the hell’s the date today? May 25, that’s it, 2008. The best part? I’ma thinkin’ it’s what happens from May 25, 2008 until the day I pee my pants and forget my name. I just hope she doesn’t like potatoes. Love, Victurd.