Thursday, July 12, 2007

Bits of tid..............

71% of American favor getting most troops out of Iraq by next April. Being a bit of a rebel, I’m rarely in the majority. Here, I am.

Go figure. Two psychology professors at a local college were moved from the general psychology department to the medical department in late 2005 after complaints of sexual harassment. With this transfer, one received a raise from $76K to $101K, the other from $75K to $93K…. Two of the complainers filed lawsuit. Among the court statements “I was told by them that I needed to be more of a “team player” and saw them kissing and massaging other women in the lab, grabbing women from behind in choke holds, and referring to female students as “sluts.”… The two received a settlement recently of $1.1 million total. Ironically, the attorneys received $443,141. Pardon my French. They sued about the professors’s intent of screwing them, and they ended up getting fucked by the attorneys.

Flight from Atlanta to Oklahoma. Toddler, upon takeoff, continued - over and over - saying “bye bye plane.” Perturbed, flight attendant tells mom 'It's not funny anymore. You need to shut your baby up,'" Penland (mom) told WSB-TV in Atlanta. When Penland asked the woman if she was joking, she said the stewardess replied, "You know, it's called baby Benadryl." "And I said, 'Well, I'm not going to drug my child so you have a pleasant flight,'" Penland told the TV station. In spitea passengers taking up on her/baby’s behalf - they turned the plane around, and dumped her and "bye bye plane" baby back in Atlanta. Bye bye plane.

By now you’ve surely seen or read of the dude in Oregon who attached helium filled balloons to his lawn chair and went on a 193 mile flight (with wife following via back roads on ground.) I wasn’t aware this was a “re-do” of a man who did the same in 1982. In the ‘82 event, the nearby commercial airport control tower gotta call from an approaching pilot “ahm, we had just passed a guy in a lawn chair.” Feller was fined $1,500 penalty for violating air traffic rules, and surely he also had to at least pay for dry cleaning of the pilot’s pants.

It’s bassackwards now. Where I work, we have “The L.”… It’s the long L-like hallway on the North and East side of the building where the upper class resides. (Talk on break was of the “declining middle class.” - Well, same where we work, it’s either upper, or lower socio-economic.) Anyways, they gotta Executive Bathroom which is really really nice. I go in there to poop on purpose for several reasons. One, in spitea their doo-doo not stinking, they have Lysol, we do not any longer. (I can see why, that shit’s like $4.50 a can.) Two, I’m just waiting for the first Jim Crow “HEY, you can’t go in there” comment. (I swear I’d be dead if I were black.) Three, the bastards got thick, soft, quilted toilet paper. (We have single-ply, probably from Dollar General.) I’ve come to surmise the company is really concerned about the biggest assholes.

Article in paper on howta save on gas when traveling this summer… Among the ideas: have vehicle checked/maintained - could increase fuel efficiency by 11%.. Loose gas cap… bad O2 sensors… driving 5mph slower when AC is on (Like that’s gonna happen.).. Anyways, I’m generally - as someone once said a “Pollyanna” here… Well, the cockdobber they interviewed in the paper beamed “I fill my tank when it is half full instead of half empty.”… Funny haha. Not me. I put $10 daily and hope and pray my ‘hot rod Lincoln’ will make the 75 mile round trip daily. Thus far I ain’t hadta hitchhike. Hell, who knows, that could be mebbe even better than the frustrating internet dating. Mebbe tomorrow I’ll only put $9 in.

Kimberly Clark (I think it was) is introducing this new thingamabob for restrooms that, by the power of “put your hand here, motion activated” dispenses 5 (AND ONLY FIVE) panels of toilet paper. “People will only generally use what you give them.” Bullshit. I’d run my hand across that puppy like six times to ensure I had enough. Why even in the “L” bathroom, with that thickass paper, 5’s not gonna clean them big assholes.

Being a weirdo like me - I’m frustrated by unusual things. Waiting in line at McDonalds (or similar) only to pull up to the window and hear “Thank you for choosing McDonalds, I’ll be with you in a moment” ß that one really pisses me off…. Clerks who have co-worker conversation - see you peripherally, and continue to have co-worker conversation before assisting me - really really pisses me off…. Standing second in line, seeing two cash registers, six employees behind counter, and one customer being helped really really really pisses me off. Where was I going? Oh yeah. Back to toilet paper. Some of life’s most frustrating moments (for me) have come whilst I was finished pooping at a bathroom in public - and you’ve gotta have a GD engineering degree to get the toilet paper to unfurl. I’ve come close to walking out ‘sticky’ in frustration. No not really. Ok. Really. Is it just me - or are there more GD toilet paper gadgets than brands of magazines and each and every one seemingly more difficult to just get to the start of the unfurling?

Hey… sorry this was sucha crappy blog. I’d wipe it all out, but I already saved the doc. I would backspace my mouse (ie, putting on the skid marks), but again - it’s a done deal. I would flush the whole damn thing, but I ain't blogged in a few days. May you not find yourself stuck in sticky situations. May you, with ease, find the end of the GD toilet paper roll in public. May you hit the “gimme gimme” the Kimberly Clark thingy AT LEAST TWICE in silent (non-farting moments) protest. May you remember to zip up your britches.

Here’s hopin’ life ain’t poopy forya. Love, Victurd.

No comments: