Hi, and sorry I ain’t been around…. It’s just some days, all there is up there is cobwebs, and who wants to hear about that?
NO. Not “Froggy” like the chap on the Little Rascals (Insteada “you must be THIS tall to ride this ride”… “You must be THIS OLD to know about Froggy.” My alltime favorite Froggy line was “Froggy.. Do you always sound like that?”.. “NO!!!!.. Just when I TALK.”
NOT Brokeback Mountain… I understand though your thoughts the way I run off women… But lemme tellya… I was in line at WalMart last night (buying new keyboard.... GD roof… Raindrops made it so I didn’t have the space key... And the “N” didn’t work.. .and that’s HELL when your login consists of an “N:.)…
So… I was in the LONG line.. The TOBACCO line…. (Not the “Self Checkout” line - btw Kendra you’re going to hell for all the times you’ve screwed Old Roy putting things on the bottom shelf and whisking thru)….
And the Cosmopolitan Magazine jumped out at me…. Front Cover. “HOW TO INCREASE YOUR MAN’S AROUSAL.”…. Did we like just get here or what? I pity the fool that plops down an “Abe” to purchase that. I mean, come on…. A smile works… One too many buttons unbuttoned works… Taking off one article works… The pitch of your voice works... That your name simply sounds female works.. Just meet up eyeball to eyeball, that works… Walk three feet ahead, that works… Simply waking up, getting outta bed, that works… Waking up, staying in bed, that works…. I truly wonder if that journalist laughed when given that assignment…
I saw gas under $3.00 a gallon.. YEAH….
I heard tell a birdie is in my bedroom somewhere - or so son observed… (remember, there’s a 4x8 chunka ceiling out... And Gladys Kravats has been speed-dialing the city because there are gaps in my siding where potentially a critter COULD get in…. Backing up - mebbe Gladys is one that could use the Cosmo issue… Please close your ears if you hate crude, but she reminds me a onea those “Ok, put it in… but hurry up” kinda gals.
Dealt, today, with the ongoing “oh shit” about meeting someone that I’ve met online - forreal, in person.
“OH VICTOR” she started… I jumped in, subtracted her 25 years from my 54, held up two fingers.. Then nine... Folowed closely by “screw you” (you’d haveta know her... All was cool”.). So I was lectured... Admonished.. Urged to get in “the real world”… and… after fitty-four years on this earth… listening INTENTLY to those around me… SUCKING UP much needed advice… cowering down to “Hey, mebbe I CAN learn from this termite”…… I walked away with the attitude “screw you… I’m 54... What time left is precious… I recognize the odds are very much against this… but…. Worst case… I’ve gained a friend.”
So there!
I needs me some updates from you shits… if there are any shits still around…. Cherryl? Is bein’ a granny 100% occupying your time? (What else are you doing…. And I am still trying to sell your tickets - FYI)…
Rae… Gimme the latest… PLEASE… I’d truly like to know when this lady last cussed out someone, for I’ve NEVER heard her say a terse word….
CJ? Any Bobbie stories? Sailing of late? Any GOOD NEWS stories from work you could share?.. (I saw Pam at the grocery store tonight… buying the itty-bitty Corona’s… made me wish I was still formally in the loop!
Gracie? School’s out for the summer…Michael? Liz? Sam? Jersey? You? Would loveta hear plans up until Fall ‘07.…
Connie? You wonderfully smiled woman… I know life’s been the pits… Have you smiled and flipped someone off of late? (I find that really therapuetic for me.) Loveya kid… I pray for genuine smiles for you…
Teresa… the fact you signed up as a regular for my blog… Holy shit, GD… Can I get you a soda or anything?… Might I come Windex your monitor forya?… Would you promise to make ZERO comments about the blogs that are really shitty?
Jana? Oh Jana? DAY OFF. You needa DAY OFF. .. she works with me M-F, then puts in 24 hrs on Sat-Sun for a company that really cares about their employees (don’t read nuttin’ into that….. Oh ok, go ahead, I’m a liberal sort…
I know I’ve missed a few… Teresa.. Cherie.. Mebbie “M”… mebbe Debbie… I dunno…
Would love to hear from any/all before I put in for another year’s lease on the God-forsaken website….
I’m teasing… It’s free… but if you’re not offended by beggars, please send cash, checks and money orders to “that guy who’s really pissed off Gladys Kravats…”
Mebbe… just mebbe… once your funds start rolling in…. and the matching 401K has kicked ubtt…mebbe, just mebbe I’d have enough to live my dream of buying a small vehicle with a place-at sleep… traversing the US… (Screw Europe… at this point)… and living my dream..
Foggy Mountain Breakdown… kinda-sorta fits….
Love, American style… Victurd…..
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