Sometimes just rambling is good. Sometimes I’m too GD (gosh darn) lazy to research, read, write down stats.. And to parlay it into an interesting blog. (Victor, exactly WHO said your blogs were interesting?)… Well, good point - but, if you have a printer, you could print them, and use them insteada the Sears catolog. There, how’s that you scratchy anus you!
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Oh baby did I have a good cry the other day. Friday, woulda been my sister’s 60th birthday. If you don’t know - she passed of breast cancer in 1999. It literally tears me up that I’m now older (54) than she ever got to be (51). She was way way more deserving of a long life than I. She, the giver, me, the “I ain’t sent a birthday card in 12 years” kinda guy.
Anyways, there are three in our office that are beating breast cancer… and one who has ovarian cancer who’s really really just gotten back to work after months of hell….I sent them an email (explaining “today woulda been my sister’s 60th”)… and I just simply thanked them for being here.. And I told them the saying my sister and I had “beat the bastard” and I asked them each if they’d officially consider being my unofficial sister. All responded in kind. One said “I always wanted a brother to pick on.” Another, very religious, said “I won’t say your saying, but I like it, and I’d be honored to be your brother.”:
After I sent it, I bawled for like fifteen minutes in my cubicle - and I hoped no one would enter. (They didn’t)… Self pity I reckon - but - to me, while it ain’t fun DURING those moments - I am so so thankful I have them - for to me it means I feel. There ain’t nothing like feel.
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My “Haveaheart” $40 ‘catch a GD raccoon trap’ I bought.. You know, the kind that keeps them alive.. Then you wear gloves.. Hope the little bastards don’t scratch you and you get rabies as you drive them to their new abode in the country… anyways, it’s sprung each of the last three nights, no critter inside… Me, the wimpy, bleeding heart liberal - is leaning (not there, but leaning) toward a nice bologna and anti freeze sandwich for the little bastards.. Or maybe an introduction to Winchester. (Was it Moe or Curly that said “I can’ts be no’s doctor ‘cause I ain’t gots any patience.”)
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Saw a gal this morning I usedta date in High School I hadn’t seen since… at HyVee… eating breakfast of course… seeing her change reminded me how fucking old I am too… (Close your ears. I did close my eyes and recall seeing her boobies. She had nice boobies. Hehe.)
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I did fall in love again though there this morning. Gorgeous chicky. She smiled the entire time. Never fails - she went back to her table.. Hubby there.. (dammit)… and, a young urchin.. Victor, please read the one just above this. You’re an old sonofabitch now. Look for wrinkled chickies. I know I know - I just have a hard time judging age. Victor, look for wrinkled chicies. NO! Quoting my beloved Eric Burden, “it’s my life and I’ll do what I want.”
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HEY. And ANOTHER THING. That GD (gosh darn) Reid is doing the May-December thingy. Victor, who the F is Reid. You know, Reid (55) and Soanya (23).. The ones on the website 1000days.net. (They’re attempting to break the world’s record for non-stop continuous sailing.. They’re on day 62. They’ve already inadvertently sailed into a Naval firing range, had a wreck during the night with a freighter - goofed up their boat - but Reid’s fixing it.. Forgot to remember to pack Reid’s Viagra, and been having mast problems. Ok, I only lied about one of those… it’s for you to figure out which I lied about!).. Anyways, they’re making it. (Of course the average May-December relationship lasts barely over a year.. So I’m waiting for the goodstuff… They’re attempting a THREE+ year sail.. Good luck mates.)
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Ok, yesterdays blog was about “oil changes” in life (stuff that’s pertinent personally.. rejuvenating).. And “complete engine overhauls” (a new partner.)… I’ve decided, hell, maybe I just needs me a rental car. (ahm, friend with benefits)… After two pretty nice, long marriages (6+ and 20+) I just can’t seem to get the ‘tick’ noise outta the engine after each overhaul.
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Victor, yesterday you said “I hate boring stuff” and sorry, but this is getting boring… Ok asswipe on 2nd thought, take that Sears catalog and shove it --- oh never mind.
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Quoting Alvin “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”. GD you are old aren’t you Victor?
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BRB, going to get lighter fluid and lighter for the Sears catolog. Have a happy day. Have fun with your oil changes. If you don’t need an overhaul - Bless you and your mate… If you just want a friend with beni’s.. call me… 867-5309. Hehe. Love, Victurd.
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