It’s my hope we all have fond relationships with or recollections of our fathers. I certainly do. I know I was lucky. If you didn’t, I’m very very sorry - and the younger person in that situation - you - must not accept any blame for that. Dealing with things in our lives that are out of our control are difficult, to say the least.
The role of father is an ever changing one… Ward Cleaver was never seen at the stove… The Old Man of the day, dealt more with things like the furnace (Witness “A Christmas Story”).. placing a mirror infronta the TV to see exactly which tube had gone haywire to distort the picture… The primary income provider. The hunter. The “final say.” While the role sounds condescending, there were/are many a good one from this era…
Bra’s were burned in the 60’s… “No… I won’t” came out… “No, you can’t do that.” “I am equal.” “I am woman, hear me roar.” Literacy rates soared. Income increased. Little by little prominent roles in professional and political spheres happened… Harper Valley PTA. Erin Brockovich. Women co-anchors. Women’s talk shows. Women with LEAD roles in sitcoms. Women politicians. Women racecar drivers.
Knowing damn everyone here except me is female, gulp, I see the above as a good thing. And please put away that carving knife. Hehe. I’ll help cut the meat. (The meat in the fridge.)
So today… because more moms are out there too in the work environment (and believe me, I know there’s still inequity there) - dads have benefited in that they spend more time with their kids…
The role of designation of work/home duties is no more. The domestic workload is more evenly distributed, and this includes raising the kids… Oh still maybe Junior goes to dad for the “information” questions.. And to mom for the emotional support. OF COURSE I know there is crossover among the sexes on the above too!
Stolen from somewhere on the web: The idea of Father’s Day was conceived by Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Wash., while she listened to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a widowed Civil War veteran who was left to raise his six children on a farm. A day in June was chosen for the first Father’s Day celebration — June 19, 1910, proclaimed by Spokane’s mayor because it was the month of William Smart’s birth. The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Father’s Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent.
Dad, to me, conjures up:
A game of catch.
An accepting nod that meant, so, so much.
The pat on the head in the early years… leading to the pat on the back… to the handshake…
Life and the educational stuff. Know we all learned different. For me: how to drive. How not to drive. How to fish. Tools. Woodworking. Cutting a Christmas tree. Tuning up an old Chevy. Talks on how to get a job. The normal one to meet you first after “Oh shit, I shouldn’ta done that.” The sturdy hand with the gentle touch.
Dads can say things that have a purpose, or a lesson - without ever specifically stating the lesson. Dads influence. Dads challenge. Dads teach aggression the correct way. They role model friendship, parenting, hard work, equality in marriage, teamwork in marriage, all good.
A dad’s hat.
His suit coat.
“His” chair.
His navigational and planning skills (or lack thereof) of the family vacation.
The guy behind the wheel of the boat.
The guy standing up at the barbeque grill.
The guy who smiled at you a little more strangely after a couple of Buds.
A praiser, a consoler, an admonisher.
Just the physical nature of ‘dad’ - plays huge. In protection. In safety. In bad weather. In interaction in public. A good deal of the family leans on dad.
The role model. The one, that when he did cook, used 33 more and different spices than mom did.
The singer of the family.
The whistler.
The joke teller.
The plumber, the electrician, the craftsman, the lawn care man…
Probably the worst dresser of the family.
At times, the fanciest dressed of the family.
The one who generally (not universally, but generally) caved into spending more time with his inlaws than his own flesh and blood.
A good guy.
A good man.
A loved man.
A man who loved.
No, this ain’t about who’s better. This is the time of year for celebrating dad.
I love/loved my dad. His advice was sound. His knowledge was amazing. His reaction of ‘not much reaction’ in so many instances were a lesson I carry today.
My dad, I’m sure, while special to me… is like perhaps your dad. My mother had a massive stroke at age 58. My father quit his job as a traveling salesman, got dealer’s tags and sold cars from the driveway to make ends meet - and so he could keep an eye on his wife, my mom.
When she passed 9 years later… my father had a long alone time… but never a complaint about same… In the late 90’s, he became the primary caregiver to my sister who was dying of cancer… A couple of years later, he did the same with his girlfriend of a few years - and nursed her back to good health..
He developed Parkinsons… at the turn of the century… and for a long, long time, cared for himself.. Ne’er a complaint.
I loved my dad, I learned from my dad. I miss my dad.
I myself have immensely enjoyed the role of father. While it hasn’t been without trial and tribulation - it’s a role I’m proud of. Out of 66.3 million fathers, I am one of 2.3 million single dads living with child. I worry, I fret, I care, I love, I don’t discipline enough.. I have input in the results - probably more than I realize. Like anything, one does the best they can do, and then still second guesses after that.
Hey… Happy Father’s Day… I know some are without dad this year. Let’s go hug another dad. Wing a comp at the role they play. We can also simply close our eyes and remember. Or even open them and remember. If you’re near your childhood home, drive by it. If you usedta go special places, revisit them.. If he sang a certain song, sing it - or listen to it on Youtube. If he wore a certain cologne - test sniff it the next time you’re in that aisle… Memories never (while we’re cognizant) erase - but they do fade…Here’s a toast to keeping them fresh…
Happy Father’s Day… Victurd. ß My father “knighted me” with this title. Funny ha ha. I however, got the last laugh. Baldness skips a generation. (Somehow, that helps me as a dad when things don’t go exactly as planned either!)
No comments:
Post a Comment