Good God. I’m fifty-four, and yesterday I lived/partied enough for the next seven or eight years. I’m torn between ‘cipherin’ if this is “sad existence” or “hella fun.“ Maybe a littlea both. Was kinda fun letting hair down - but today I pay.
Payday at work. Yippee. Couldn’t check online to see how much they deposited ‘cause I got written up recently for being on non-work related websites. Dammit Jim! But, knew it was enough I could, today anyways, afford a good time.
Co-workers, 5:03pm, beer at a joint called “The Doghouse.” There was a lotta “did you hear about….”… and “could you believe when he/she….”… and “I don’t think I’ll ever get caught up at work.” The smiles got bigger n’ wider as the beers went down, and the memory of that days work faded… Three beers… been fun… “heading to boat now, have a great weekend.”
Veered into the Ameristar. Finally peeked at ATM balance, and woo - hoo, a little more that I thought in there…. Not necessarily a good thing to discover at a casino. Oh well, what the hell…I ain’t gots me a woman… I got three 20-somethings living with me at home (of which only one is related to me!)… It’d been “a week” - so…. To the blackjack table I went.
Life. Blackjack. Sex. Up/down, up/down. (Victor, did you HAVE to add sex there?… Why hell yes, writing or thinking about it is the only sex time I get. KMA.).. So I got up fitty. Started paying more attention to the upper half of the lady next me than my cards… whittled $150 down to $30. Shit. I mean they were nice and everything, but not worth a hundred and twenty dollars for the ten minutes I stared. Ok, screw you, yes it WAS twenty minutes. (Ten for each!…. Victor, you’re a GD pig…. That, I know.. Do we need to talk about the sex thing again?… Ok, I win!)…
Shirley, a nice older dealer.. Left and came back.. She was the one dealing whilst I was staring, dwindling my stash.) But, I got on a roll. Everything I did turned to gold. I’d add $5 each time, and a tip for Ms. Shirley and the stack grew and grew and grew.
By now I had two black chips (they're $100 each) in my pocket.. And quite a few Christmas ones (Green-$25, Red-$5.).. So, I’m thinking’ “I am SOMEBODY now!”… and off to the $15 table. Boy did they kick my ass. And I didn’t even have any boobs to stare at there.. Sum’bitch!
I’d bought in for $160, left with $242, so… a good night. I’d downed twelve cups of coffee… I'd been with co-workers for a quick happy hour, four hours at the boat..so… home to bed? Yeah… right…
To my wonderful little “Sad existence/Hella fun” bar “where everybody knows your name” (do-doo-doo-doo doo..do doo)… ß that was me karaoke-ing to Cheers btw.
So, what’s a fella do with $82 he didn’t have four hours ago? Uh huh, he buys $126 worth of drinks for the house. The house consisted of 17 folks, and for the first time in eons, I really did know everyone in there. Mostly ex-inlaws. Fellow High School “thought we were” athletes.
“17 Hot Damns Mikki:”… “but I wanted a kamikaze” the gorgeous 22 yr old blonde cried out.”Ok, get her a kamikaze.”… Twice, I did that twice.. And bought ten-twelve beers for others.. But it was a feel good… I gotta crapola car, a house that needs hella attention, duds from early 2000 - for once I felt prosperous, and damn daddy I enjoyed it.
“It’s ONE-THIRTY, now get outta here” Mikki cried out. I can’t imagine why she wanted to leave so bad. I myself find it kind of interesting trying to interpret the words of 17 blithering idiots that timea night. I hadn’t closed down a bar for a long, long time. “Ok Mikki, Ok… we’re going.”
Home, to bed… right? (Happy Hour, Boat time, Bar time.. so.. “Hey Vic, come on over to my place.” My ex-nephew in law hollered. What the hell… I’d been to the boat.. I’d stared at that one lady’s boobies… I’d won $82... I’d bought $126 worth of drinks… Why quit now?..
Ex sister inlaw, the sober one, drove us there. Music, a 30 pack that we didn’t need… and poker… After two hours of five card stud, seven card stud, deuces and one-eyed jacks wild, Dr Pepper (2-4-10) wild, any card with “Hoyle” written on it wild.. My 33 yr old ex nephew in law decided upon strip poker. Five of us.. Three men, two women. So here I am, age 54, in my “sad existence/hella fun” mode… playing strip poker with my ex sister inlaw (50-ish).. Her 40 yr old friend (pretty attractive lady too).. My ex nephew in law, and his best bud..
GD (gosh darn) I wished I’d spent more time than what I have at the gym… this could be embarrassing… It’s summertime.. . There ain’t many items to dispose of… I lost twice, took off both shoes. Thought about my jean shorts, but then I didn’t want the world to know about shortpeckeritis, so I tossed the Converse.
Uh oh, there goes the blouse of the 40 yr old friend that’s pretty attractive. Wow! Pretty “healthy” too I see!.. .Dammit Jim, she didn’t just loose the next hand too did she? She did. Uh huh. Sitting next to me, a gorgeous lady, completely nude from the waist up. What’d James Earl Jones ask in Field of Dreams? “Is this heaven”…. No.. it’s Missouri… So, we blithering idiots played about another thirty minutes… various items came off… but no one approached the nudity of the 40-something fairly attractive boobies exposed one sitting to my left. (I usedta tease the ‘ex with “athletes have good peripheral vision.”… that, and my new eyeballs really helped!
Victor, you’re a pig. WELL, she didn’t HAVETA.. It was fun.. After 15 minutes, it surreal-ly was kinda natural.. Andtit was a night I soon won’t forget. No.. no one doinked anyone.. I slept on the screened porch.. Wonderful sleeping…40-something lady slept in guest bedroom… Nephew in his own bedroom… Dunno what in the hell happened to the other two.. K, maybe someone did get doinked.
So that was my “sad existence/hella fun” night. A long, fairly tedious, fast paced work week - followed by a night of fun. Now that’s what I call tit for tat. (Tat was bad eh? If my 80-something year old aunt in St. Louie is reading this. I offer my apologies. Unless you enjoyed reading it.. Then I’ll try to cook up something again next payday!)…
Happy Father’s Day to all…….. Love, Victurd.
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