My cornflakes had pee in 'em........

That’s a lie… Literally anyways… I much prefer Raisin Brain….

Bitch moan/bitch moan: I ain’t hada day off since April 15th, tax day… I’m old (thankful though I’ve been around this long.)… A big project at work was due a couple days ago, and due to unforeseen events, I struggled to finish up today. I think the exact words uttered to me were “that BETTER be done.” I felt like I was shooting a free throw complete with 7,200 maniacs behind the goal waiving their arms and yelling “you suck” all day at work…

Touchy, maybe I was touchy. Close your ears… maybe the closest thing to “that time” a man could ever have.

External events assisted……. Cold shower….. “GD did I forget to pay THAT bill?”… The neighbors glared at me as I hopped in my car due to the height of my lawn… Shortly after I got $20 outta the ATM this morning, it tweren’t the normal “computer printing sound” when the receipt/balance came out.. I swear to goodness it was Tickle Me Elmo laughing as it printed… On the road: GD, did I forget to make burgers outta that $6.74 wortha ground beef I bought Sunday? SHIT!“… At work: Ring-Ring… “Hi son… whatsup?”.. “Dad, did you see? It rained so much the ceiling is falling in.”… The Royals lost for the 843 time in a row…

All day whilst I worked on the “the Project” I had interupting email after email with this request/that request…. “did you get that email I sent asking for that rate?”… “That shipment that our agent in Hawaii goofed up… did it get shipped? When will it get to Exeter, NH?”…..

The only thing that coulda topped the day off woulda been a dental appointment. I hate dentists, but librarians run a close second. Good thing they don’t have tools - I’da been dead long ago. You would not believe how many times I’ve handed them my card and gotten “that look” over their specs…

Where was I? Orgasmining? No, that ain’t it… I was at work.. By now, if you’da walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder I’da screamed “WHATTTTTT?”..

Then, onea the main reasons I love going into work.. That person.. Said something really shitty to me on break.. A dig… About emails I send… I love sending emails… it’s a form of “touch”… all eyeballs on you… attention.. We all like attention…

FUCK! (Sorry.. I don’t say that in public much… but I do use to kinda sorta detail moods.)… So… All of the above has happened… it’s noonish… I’m still nose to the grindstone on “The Project”.. I don’t wanna talk to ANYONE… I maybe wouldn’t evena turned my head had Elisabeth Shue walked by nekkie…

Then I got an email from a very nice co-worker basically telling me “hey.. I’ve been there… I’m sorry you are… I hope things lighten up for you.. You’re usually such a jovial person.. And that’s so admirable. Things‘ll get better… soon!”

WHY’D she screw my pee in the Raisin Bran all up? So, I took a deep breath… gathered my thoughts… and then in the next 45 minutes: I shot the bitch that said something really shitty.. Finished The Project… Re-roofed my house.. Traded my car in for a 2001 Hummer.. Paid the gas bill (tipped the receptionist $10)… Mowed the front (and back)… Put “cold patch” on my roof, fixed the ceiling sheetrock.. (Sprayed the texture junk on it).. Bought 12 replacement hamburgers from Burger King… deposited a bi-weekly paycheck from March I forgot I had in my billfold… Bought a cell phone on the way home… called the dentist… had my teeth cleaned (someone had cancelled an appointment… actually didn’t hurt)… told Elisabeth “no thanks, you’re married.”

Or…………………… maybe………….

I worked a little overtime… swung by bar for one……. (Ok, three.. But only three)… bowled… and came to write a pity party blog.

You pick which you think happened.

I hate your guts. You’re always right! I loveya.. And I AM happy in life… today though the cereal really did have a urine odor to it.. Tomorrow I think I'll just go thru the drive thru and grab a sausage biscuit... that is.. if Elmo lets me.. Love, Victurd.