The dream……

The brain is a wonderful, cruel, harsh, magnificent thing.

At times, I’m a daydream believer. Oh come on Victor, PLEASE not the Monkees.. Ok, I’ll cut you a break, but only ‘cause u asked kinda nicely.

My brain, dunno about yours, but my brain - has these dreams where I’m falling, outta control… a cliff.. From an airplane.. The car going downhill, stoplight ahead, no brakes..

Being chased. Insignificant (not an insignificant person, but some who’ve had a ‘bit part’ in real life) people ganging up… no way to escape…

THE WORST, about to happen…

And then ya awaken. Grab the wits. What day is it? That didn’t really happen did it? One, two, three, four.. YES! I have all my limbs!.. Whew.. It’s 40 degrees out, why I’m a sweating so profusely?

Occasionally my brain wierds out - and I have these recurrences sitting at my desk at work… or mebbe driving in my car to/fro… It’s bizarre.. Makes one think maybe this did, or is, gonna happen. Know better, but then again that brain is a bad mother (‘shut your mouth”)…

And then… (No.. not the song “And then it happened”).. and then… there are times in life when one wheel is off the road - so to speak.. When the ‘train’ goes off the tracks.. The slot car becomes disjointed…

And there’s free fall… Can’t stop… Wanna… but behaviors are repeated.. You wanna grab onta something and halt this slide, fall… but ya fear you’ll break your damn arm off if you do… so you continue the path of free fall.. Knowing it will end sometime, knowing “while it’s been going on for some time now” it’s not the ‘real’ you..

Some perhaps call the end of this… the crashing thud to the ground… the car finally stopping due to some object that ain’t gonnna move.. The basta’s ‘chasin’ (or leading astray - in spite of you being at fault as you’re a big boy now and you make your own calls) finally running outta breath..

Rock bottom I guess some would call it. To me, rock bottom is not quite as hideous as one would think. What did Morrison say? “Been down so GD (gosh darn) long it looks like up to me.” Victor, there are those here that weren’t even born before Jim bit the dust. I know, I know.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m not living the real me. I know that’s a pile of crap, and I know I am what I am. I know I put the key in the car. I know my wonderful, cruel, harsh, magnificent brain controls “left foot goes here.. Right foot comes next… headed that away.”

I am in a long transition. Mebbe a little gum on the soles making me stay here longer than I want, but that’s where I am. Hey, I’m the stock market!

Victor, this was one real sad, stupid, depressing blog.

Oh no. To the contrary. No matter the transition, level, current path, condition, behaviors (good OR bad) - life is grand. Truly.

I know so many remarkable people. I see so many wonderful things. Want cheered up? Any time? Get outdoors. Needa smile? Got the frowns down? Pickup the phone. By your lonesome, can’t do any of those? Thinka a precious moment in the rear view mirror.

Ups. Downs. Situations. Transitions. Dates. No dates. Marriage, no marriage. Live in, move out. Level road. Hilly road. Straight path. Windy sumbitch. Calm. Storm. Rain. Sunny. There’s good in all. Everything about life, even the temporary situational crap.

Victor? This is whatshername. Remember me? Your sounding board? Your ‘guidance’ counselor? Well hi, yes.. I do.. How’s ZZ doing? Does it tire ironing all those overalls? Hehe. Sorry. Yes, I do remember you, and have very good thoughts about you. Thanks. I just wanted to say - are you really gonna publish all of that? You’re sharing your personal information with anyone and everyone that stops by. Uh huh. Am. Got me a new sounding board, counselor. Even iron my own pants now.

I am a lover of life. The roller coaster, along with every dip, nip, tuck and turn. Life’s a freefall. Grab on.

Going to take a nap now. With tongue in cheek, back in the old days, as I/we retired I’d say “night Mar’ “… hehe.. Sweet dreams. Love, Victurd