Piece on Earth, good will to men

(I know, I know... duh... I didn't just get here.)

I closed my eyes and dreamed... prayed... hoped... for the following changes to happen to create a greater sense of order for our world...

Do-over Tivo for the Chiefs... Don't like the last play? Rewind that mo-fo, let 'em try again...

One day per year for all 'single' dogs who live their lives the entire year panting, behaving, wagging their tails, barking, sitting on your lap - we need to comprehend 'dog talk' and what they are really saying is "please-please-please... I live with humans all year... I behave.. I poop & pee outdoors on command... will you PLEASE (if only for a day) find me another canine to make whoopie with?"

Magnetic governors implanted on Interstates making it simply impossible to exceed the speed limit - nor go less than 10MPH under... The same magnetic forces make it impossible to get closer to the car in front than one car length per ten MPH.

An "alter your way - skip the habit" day for priests and nuns... Bus 'em all out to a convent out in the middlea nowhere, strip them of their duds, and let 'em have at it for 24 hours. Would save a lotta young youths of you-know-what, and perhaps save some kids in school getting whacked on the knuckles by rulers.

I feel sorry for parents of small kids. I think, as a prerequisite to marriage - newly engaged couples be given two passes on Southwest to anywhere - be required to join the mile high club... and then upon coming back to earth - be forced - for one solid week - to watch the children of another couple. We may never have another baby boomer generation again.

I think it oughta be mandatory for grandparents to watch their grandkids two separate weeks a year (and aunts and uncles two separate weekends a year.)

I'd like to see an annual breakfast for all nursing homes consisting of grits - and ground up in the men's would be Levitra/Viagra... and in the ladies - valium. They would then be whisked off nekked to the padded exercise room - and all the overworked/underpaid workers could have a couple hours to relax.

I'd like to see NFL/NBA Playstation LIVE.. If some middle-of-the-road wide receiver makes his way in the end zone and then begins to gyrate, dance, make signs with his body - you could shoot the bastard with your Playstation LIVE paintball gun. If it's some dumb jock in an interview room berating his teammates - you could take the boomer-extend-a-hand, grab his nuts and lockdown for thirty seconds or so...

An "I can't see clearly now" day. Or, Miss-taken, and Mistertaken. Geeks would look supreme to the opposite sex. Old gals could hookup with young stallions. Geezers could gad about with runway models. Pretty would love ugly, handsome would love homely. Thinka the savings in antidepressant drugs annually.

Finally.. We gather up all the marijuana confiscated by law enforcement for the last 17 years... We pick a night to all at once get our troops the hell outta Iraq... After we do - we send potfilled crop-dusters with bigass bong-like jet engines in - and we get all the Iraqi's wasted. No longer would there be a tremendous religious battle. In fact, it's guaranteed the Sunni's would change their opinion to "Good Shiite"... We three kings, disoriented are....

Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged my comb across my head,
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup, And looking up I noticed I was late. (Enter deep breathing/gasping from cigarette smoking 54 yr old here), Found my coat and grabbed my hat - Made the bus in seconds flat... DAMMIT. Back to the real world I must go. Enjoy your dreams - and would love to listen to your ideas on how to improve our wonderful world/society. Love, Victurd