Wow. This morning, as I slithered over the edge of the bathtub, pointed toward the closet to dress for work - my body likened a car with a near dead battery on a frosty, cold day. Literally, a mile a minute weekend. "Dress warm, start your car and let it warm up, wind chills in the teens" the 12/26 replacement (of course) weather chicky said...
So... I threw on yesterday's jeans, my heavy coat, and went out to fire the ole sucker up. Of course, a near dead battery on a frosty, cold day.
We made it - Christmas, 2006 is no more. You old farts will remember Richard Dawson and the Family Fued.. what with his "Survey said"... Regarding Christmas, it's estimated 35% of us got angry... 36% experienced sadness... 51% irritated... 61% felt some stress... and 68% grew fatigued... Hmmm, mebbe that's why I plopped in bed at 6pm last night...
Ohhhhh but there's gotta be reasons behind all that. Why do we get angry? Irritated? Feel stressy? Tired?.. Some 44% of us are stressed over family gatherings... Things like keeping Uncle Charlie and Aunt Hazel from arguing over politics takes an art you know... We (77%) are stressed over lack of time... Many (62%) are stressed over lack of money (I resemble that remark)... and 53% of us are all nervous over all the hype...
Was it just me or did you notice the vast majority of the retailers wouldn't SAY "Christmas"? (Inserting "Happy Holidays" for "Merry Christmas").. Sad state of affairs eh? I read WalMart went back to allowing their clerks to say Christmas after experiencing many, many complaints last year. Good for Wally World.
How's your bank balance? It's said 17% spend over $1000.... 23% spend less than $250... and most are in the $250-$500 range... Onea the sites I visited regarding "tips on avoiding stress" suggested you spoil yourself. Well hell yes! Due to this tip, I gots me a new shirt from Old Navy and can of very un-needed salted peanuts.
Alright, hurry up and take all that crap down. Careful on the ladder there mister - you're not as friggin young as think you are... Hurry up and take the unwanted/wrong sized stuff back (try valium, one beer or one glass of wine to reduce the stress from your wait in line)... Today at work I will use my time-honored catch phrase: (When asked "what'd you get for Christmas") -> "Ahm.. I got a pair of pants and a piece of tail - and they were both too big!"... and be thinkin' of some resolutions to break for 2007.
In reflection, I guess this kinda more likens a sex line - but, it's my hope it was as good for you as it was for me..... Be forewarned, 364 shopping days remain.. oh, and that's XL shirts, 36-32 slacks (to hopefully someday be 34-32 slacks, if I can ever remember the directions to the gym.) Love, FatiguedTurd.
PS to Rae: THANKS, and you rock!
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