Write on......

Write on what? Kendra - my cohort @ work said "laughter, and how you shouldn't make fun of people's laugh." Eh, I dunno. I suppose if one makes fun of someone to their face, that ain't a good thing... but... since that one chick in accounting doesn't know about this blog - CAN YOU BELIEVE HER LAUGH? That is the goofiest friggin laugh I've EVER heard. What's even odder - with the exception of those rare occasions when she laughs - I'VE NEVER SEEN HER SMILE. So, sure: we're perfect, let's make fun of those who ain't! Besides, I think down there somewhere there is one on laughter - on how my laugh really sucks and I'd give anything to be able to laugh so freely and easily "like so-and-so". But, Ms. Kendra, don't make fun of my laugh or I'll kick your ass.

Hey, that last paragraph had Kendra in it... whyinthehell is she in this one too? Well, I could say it's because she's a nut, is as far from mundane as mundane can be. I love hearing her stories. "Came home the other night with some guy's phone number written on my top across my chest." Oh my. "Stayed out 'til 2am, had to be at Homo Depot at 8am Saturday morning.. I was grabbing some shuteye in the Garden Center atop a stack of charcoal bags when my boss rudely awakened me." See? Hell, it'd be a sellout blog if one just paparazzied her 24/7 and wrote about her. Well, actually it's because she told me she pointed her sister to this website and I wanted to say hi. Why some 20-somethings would want to read what's on an old farts brain is beyond me - but welcome nonetheless. I've decided to start charging .25 cents to login... and, now that we're up to three regulars... let's see that's .75 a day, 7 days a week ($5.25).. fitty-two weeks a year ($273)... my desired amount at retirement is $200,000. Ahm, $200,000 divided by $273 a year is 732 years. Shit. Guess I gotta go to work today. I wonder if that fucking Amway is still around.

Hey we could talk movies... Nah, now that Brokeback Mountain is out - I remember how long I was scared shitless trying to go to sleep at night after hearing Ned Beatty's piglike noises from Deliverence. (No pun intended on the shitless part.)

Politics? With apologies to most of the folks from the UAE, geez, makes sense to me George to have a country where two of the Twin Tower terrorists came from to purchase/guard our ports. Nah, let's skip politics.

Sports? Hell no Victor, you did that yesterday and we were bored shitless. Besides, did you see that crybaby millionaire baseball player that refused to go out with his team and play leftfield because he wanted to play second base? (Side note to Alpfonso Soriano - it's ok bebbe.. I remember that time that little shit stole playing first base from me... I know 'fits' are normally reserved for toddlers, but I feel your pain brother.)........ There was one interesting tidbit in the sports world yesterday.. Apparently, this feller who plays basketball for the Utah Jazz - anyways, his wife allows him to sleep one time per year with another woman. A local sportswriter snided "Oh, there's outrage here in Utah.. the folks are all stunned he's only allowed to sleep with one other woman!"

Money... shall we talk money?

Sex? YES, YES, YES. Be for real, both of my nieces, my first and second cousins, and my girlfriend know this site. Is there sucha thing as writing about sex in the PG form? I don't think so.

Farts, let's talk farts... Ok, but just briefly. True story: I was married 19 years before I heard her fart. YES. True.

Gambling? Ahm no. See how long we stayed on money?

Co-workers.. YES, let's diss co-workers. I don't repeat gossip, so listen close the first time. Well, that's a valid idea, except maybe there's someone that reads this that doesn't work here - and it just wouldn't be as fun to them to wonder if one of the guys in the back offices is sleeping with one of the gals up around the HR department. (Wink wink)

How bout music? Good fucking idea Victor, here, I'll turn on the speakers... There... that's better..

Ok, so no laughter, movies, politics, sports, money, sex, farts, gambling, co-worker gossip, music. Weather? You've just done two of those recently you idiot. Oh, k. Sorry.

How bout the weekend? Can we talk about that? Ya know, that ain't a bad idea. Whatshername usedta be a teller, and her saying was "you don't tell a teller to have a nice weekend, because she's gotta work." Eh, maybe so. A great portion of us are regular ole M-F types - and yes, weekends are wonderful. I remember when I usedta throw up bags of Fritos in grocery stores - and because Saturdays were so busy - the store managers all worked Saturday and took off Wednesdays. So, since they did that, we had to also. Boy, that was fun. Sunday and Wednesday off. "Hey honey?" he beckoned one Tuesday night.. "Ya wanna drive to the Lake tonight and come back tomorrow night?"... Ahm, sure.

Going to bed with no alarm is the best. Reading the paper and drinking coffee whilst others choose to sleep their lives away is the best. I dunno about you, but I plan it so I barely have time to get dressed in the morning during the week - so breakfast is out.. I LOVE BREAKFAST. I EAT BREAKFAST ON WEEKENDS.

Weekends are all about cleaning house - or NOT. INDEPENDENT. Weekends allow us to do what we want, when we want. We're friggin selfish, let's admit it. Ok, I'll admit it. I AM SELFISH.

Weekends are about spending time with the people you pick - not the ones you have to. And I don't mean that derogatorially (<-- dat a word?).. well, ceptin' for that chick with the hideous laugh. I wouldn't pick to hang with her.

Weekends should be filled with comforters... pets... sunshine.. exercise... drives to nowhere... an occasional drink with friends (or, if you get on a roll/binge like my current 4-day roll.. a continuation of drinking with friends).. family.. entertainment.. entertaining... LOUD MUSIC.. soothing music.. outside... inside... selfish time.. helping time..

Weekends rock. I hope yours is enjoyable - I plan to have fun on mine. Right on.