I find it funny........

(I've told you 47 times, we'll be the judge of what is funny..... Oh yeah, sorry)

I hate it when old people tell me something like they're experts or something just because they've been around the block a time or two. However (haha), if you're 20 you won't understand this shit... or 30... maybe even 39. I'm old, I've been around the block - but the block I'm talking about includes taking wrong turns.. or, mebbe coming to a T, or something that broke up 'walk'.

It is the goal in the beginning of any relationship to not have it end. Yes dammit, I realize 20-somethings and 30-somethings will understand that... Do I have to get right to the point?

Ok, relationships end. Always. Some are lucky in that they last 60+ years and they were happy as hell. Some are sad in that they lasted 60+ years and they were miserable as hell. Some last 20 years, some less... some only months... Some end due to death, some due to divorce, some due to carrying thru on the urge we all have to "boink" someone else.. Many reasons.... Workaholics, alcoholics, mid-life crisis, emotional abuse, physical abuse, family strain, yada yada yada.

Sometimes we in the 50 percentile from failed marriages, get back on the damn horse again. Listen up sonny... this is where you are wet behind the ears. It's different later in life.

As creatures of habit - we, in general, become weird. We're usedto doing this like that, and that like this. We meet someone, they do that like that and it's different.

Recipes, the roads we take from point A to point B, what time we wake up... how many or how little covers we use on the bed.. what the thermostat is set at.. When we divo and when we don't... buying habits.. sets of friends. I would say church differences, but those that attend with regularity probably stopped reading after the first "shit" I typed.

Young, wide-eyed relationships are jointly molded - like clay in an artist's hands. One eye is dead ahead, the other is on the mate seeing how he/she is going at it and coming to a mutually acceptable end. End to whatever it is. TV shows, blankets, thermostats, what time for breakfast (or do we even have it), who drives, what bank we go to, what grocery store, what favorite restaurants, her friends/his friends become our friends.

When ur old, the shit gets rougher. A caring (longterm relationship) cousin recently wrote "Some days the other is perfect, some days the faults so glaring you wonder what the hell you were thinking. That's why most marriages fail, panic sets in at this point when in reality, it's when you get your butt going and work it out with the other, in my humble opinion. Of course "blank" (<-- insert cousin inlaw name there) and I have been working it out for years now but what we've ended up with is amazing."

Wise words, and I can see the artwork from the molded clay. But... ya ever seen clay that's been around for a long time? Yeah, it's hardened. If you take two piles of it and try to mesh it together, all ya usually get is clumps. Ohhh no, it's toooo longa process to reheat the clay, train it allover again to mold so nicely. I'm tired, I think I'll switch to a different medium and we'll just have two clay 'statues'.

The friend at work whose house just burnt down, by default (kinda sorta) just moved in with her fiance. They're in their 40's. She's been divorced for a long damn time (17 yrs I think).. he lost his longterm wife to cancer a few years back. The other night he emerged from the kitchen searching for such-n-such utensil. Gabby (we'll call her) remembered she had put it away after cooking (and cleaning) the night before.. "Here honey, it's in here." "GOD DAMMIT, I'VE BEEN PUTTING such-n-such RIGHT IN HERE (a different place than where she'd put it) FOR 150 YEARS." My first thought there was "holy shit, can he still get it up at age 150?" My second thought was "criminy, no wonder fugging Social Security is running out." But, hopefully you get the point.

Don't get me wrong - the opportunity to love again is wonderful - but it can be exceedingly harder with more wrinkled, hardened clay. You don't crave 'yesterday' because you know yesterdays never happen and even if they could you don't want them. You don't want pity, instead you just get the urge to snap your fingers and make everything all better and for the whole process to come to a perfect, meshed end. It's just that we've taken a long time to become who we've become - and when there's a different face you're waking up to - it can be hard. Yes, it's good, yes it's hard. I think REM's don't lie. A few times I've unintentionally awakened Gracie and when her eyes met mine you'da thought a burgler had broken into the bedroom. We're clay, or noodles, or concrete. I mean holy shit, I'm slow with numbers and I think I've finally just memorized both the cell and the home numbers. If I ever have to call her at work that'll mean getting out the 2.25 magnification specs and using the phone book. See, you young shits know NOTHING about phone book struggles either.

Side note... don't ever tell anyone you just lit a cigarette when there was a half smoked one still going in the ash tray. Ok, I won't.

I don't know the motive or reason I wrote this. Well, I guess I got the idea from Gabby's story at work - but it really makes one stand back and say "yeah, sometimes I know what you mean."

Yes dear cousin, I too know what your words mean and how appreciative I am of the view from your shoes - and how any of us in this boat (old fart's starting anew) really believe we too tried knew all about that "some days ya thnk they're perfect, some days you think 'what was i a thinkin'.

I don't like the thought of being all-knowing in this scenerio. Sure, we all woulda rather had our lives have had one relationship (just like my folks, maybe yours too) - but it didn't happen thataway. I, unfortunately know more about being old and set in my ways than you youngs turds... and, some of you beautiful people who've walked hand in hand with the same mate while Crow's feet and age spots are setting in ALSO know less about what it's like in a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) chance relationship (and God bless your for that.) All we ask is openmindedness and understanding (in spite of the fact we in this boat usually ain't openminded and we're in too biga damn hurry to be understanding!)

I love waking up. I love going to sleep. I love looking at the bright smile staring back at me. I love a good kiss. I love a good snuggle or sharing a movie, or cooking a meal for the other. It can be very rewarding. Many aspects can be even better.

I'm going to put my house slippers on now... walk outside, smoke another cig (yes dammit, the 2nd one I lit is long gone by now.).. so... have a great evening....

GD (GOSH DARNIT,) WHEREINTHEHELL ARE MY HOUSE SLIPPERS? (Geez, can you imagine how those puppies must smell after 150 years?)