Nothing prophetic…

Christmas ramblings…

I’m 55... Other than organizing a few softball tournaments for Juvenile Diabetes back in the 70’s/80’s, I’ve never volunteered in my life. A shame eh?

For whom the bell tolls… Last night, for 90 minutes, I was a bell ringer for the red kettle folks. It actually was kinda a neat experience..

Announced to the older couple “I’m your relief”, they thanked me - draped the red SA apron over me - and told me “Tessie” would be there to pickup the kettle at 6pm. We smiled, offered “Merry Christmas” back-n-forth, and on they went.

Oh hell. Was Tessie the name they used? Should I have the chutzpah to ask whomever picks up the kettle “what’s your name? And how do I know you work for SA.” I mean there’s hella worse crime going on in the US… something like that could happen…

Bells will be ringing... My first contributor, long about five minutes into it, a gent about my age, jeans, old coat - neatly folded a five dollar bill, plunked it in and wished me Merry Christmas. Cool.

Lady carrying 2 and ½ yr old. Dug into her pocket book… Fist fulla change. “Do you wanna put it in?” she asked the tike. Yep. The kettle was jussst beyond her reach, so momma lifted her up, and one by one she dropped in pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters…”Hurry honey, we’re gonna be late for church.”

As I stood, I didn’t know whether to make eye contact or not with folks. I didn’t want them to feel obligated - because goodness knows I’ve experienced “damn I’d liketa, but if you only knew”.. Nonetheless, as the time extended, I found it fun to wing a smile to each and every comer. Figure the more smiles one gives, the more one receives… and actually, it wasn’t me whose idea that was… it was the customer’s idea… as I was given smiles as they walked in the door. Many offered “Merry Christmas.”

The givers were a unique mix.. A store clerk who probably was making $7-something an hour, sharing a $500 apartment, for sure keeping the temp in the place at or near 60 degrees… “let me get my money” - and she too dropped in a five dollar bill.

Tough guy and his brother... Leather jackets.. The tough guy gave a dollar… started to walk away - turned and folded up another George… Beautiful 20-something gal... Dropped a buck as she went in.... and on her way out she plopped in the change from her purchase…

Young couple walking in... I could see her saying something to him.. He dug for his wallet... Handed her the George… “Thanks ma’am, Merry Christmas.” People gave with smiles.

I do always try to give - but admittedly it’s change… reckon it ads up.. The SA does wonderful things allover the world. Many were oblivious - but too many too offered up “Merry Christmas”…

Then, a gorgeous mom and her teenage snotnose walked in… I turned to catch the view from the other side… then I remembered “you dumbass, you’re a volunteer here.. NOT a very good example.” So, face now kettle red, back to jingling. (For the record, the view from the other side was equally as spectacular!)

5:54pm. Soon, Tammy would come to get the kettle. Or was it Tessa… or Tonya… dammit..

Up drives an older, tall early 60’s lady in a minivan.. Churchly looking… You can’t pull one on me lady... I’ve heard about gramma’s robbing banks. Tell me your name, and it GD (gosh darn, gotma red SA vest on) BETTER start with a T.

“Hi I’m Mrs She-said-some-last-name”… Uh huh. “Thank your for your time… I’m going to take the kettle now.” Is your name Tessie? “No, it’s she-said-some-other-first-name.” Well, reckon I haveta trust... She started unscrewing the contraption, as if she knew what she was doing. So I helped carry the thing to her van… she plopped open the back end… there were twenty other red kettles… so I figured either she was legit, or she was the richest grandma this sidea Johnson County.

5:57pm. I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time. Then, evil set back in. “YES! My favorite little establishment doesn’t close until 6:30pm… I’ve got time for ‘one’, and to wish all my buds a Merry Christmas!!…. Gee I hope no one that plopped a quarter in comes in whilst I’m in there.”

Life ain’t perfect. I ain’t perfect. For 90 minutes I actually liked Victor. I’d liketa do more good somewhere, someday, sometime….. Hiccup.

Jumbled Jingle Bells.. Jumbled Jingle Bells.. Jumbled Jingle Bells all the way… Next year, I’m adding “I am gonna go Christmas Caroling to old folks homes, older loved ones, etc.” to my New Years Resolution list.

Brb. Going to make a snow angel. (That, on 2007 list).. Then, when it gets dark, gonna pee my name in the snow. That too on list. Good thing name’s Vic insteada Ebenezer… bar was only open for 30 minutes.. Don’t think I could pee that longa name.

I hope your Christmas has been jolly - and that you winged smiles, and received them twofold. And if you got caught under the mistletoe, it’s my hope you were nakey. Hehe. Merry Christmas, I loveya, Victurd.