Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire….

Life is fulla mis-said things… or twists to the linguistics… or stupid sayings/songs…

Wonderful radio commercial not long ago for a local station… Family driving in their soccer mom vehicle… The Beatle’s “Ticket to Ride” playing in the background… Kids, at full blare, “She’s gotta chicken to ri-ide… she’s gotta chicken to ride… and she don’t know.”

Father’s fav was… “She’s got freckles on her…. But(t) she’s pretty…

I’m probably divorced because - we always had kids around… When the brief respites happened we didn’t have kids around.. I’d throw out in my best Merle voice (over and over) “Let's chase each other 'round the room tonight.. Let's play the games we played on our wedding night.. To lock and bolt the door is only right… Let's chase each other 'round the room tonight.” It rarely worked, but I had fun with it… And, she was hella younger.. Fast.. I could never catch her.

I was bor-orn, under a wandering star… (‘cept I insert “lingering fart”… kinda adds to the situation, the song. Get used to it, it‘s me.)

Niece wanted to grow up to be a “vegetarian.” Neighbor kid with a lisp (Kathie, I KNOW I repeat crap) would always say “can I shit with you guys?”.. Ahm, no.. but that former Senator Craig from Utah might let you.

“You don’t like me any more.” Well.. I don’t like you any less…

Got dandruff, some of it itches.

De Camptown ladies sing this song, Doo-da, Doo-da
De Camptown peckers are about this long (insert holdup thumb, index finger one inch apart) Oh, de doo-da day…

(Stolen… sorry… liked it) “We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?” (End of ”STOLEN”. That sonofagun should blog, he’s hella better than me.)…

And hell… stolen again (Below)… about the importance of punctuation:

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Gloria

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

Words rock. Misquotes, changing words, moving a period, comma, here there - hells yes.

Seems like lately people love to play with fire
The other games they play are just as bad
I'd rather stay at home and feel your burning lips
And play the kind of games that make me glad

Let's don't chase around and make each other weary
Let's keep all our love at home and out of sight
Let's leave everything like jealousy behind us
And let's chase each other 'round the room tonight..

I know none of this makes sense… sorry… I was bored, and I seen the keyboard.. Please tune in tomorrow when the topic might be something like “why thongs have less material but cost hella more.” Or maybe, “why the lady in Japan divorced her Government Official hubby when he lost the erection.”

To lock and bolt the door is only right… honey let’s chase each other ‘round the room tonight..

Snuggle up… Wool socks… extra blanky.. And as I used to say to my ex (Marilyn)… “Night-Mare”..

Love, Victurd