Peanut Butter and Bananas…..

Some people think I’m weird. I say, try it. It served as many a meal for this young turd growing up eons ago……

About all my brain thought of tonight: two things….

1) Kids…

2) Memorial Day….

Was watching the Royal’s game on TV… foul ball into the stands.. Many stretched, leaped, tried.. The ball landed in the outstretched arms of a 30-something dad, and in a millisecond, you could read his exhilaration, and as his arms came down - the ball went straight into the hands of his 9-ish year old son… Notta second thought.. .The ball belonged to the kid…

So I felt sheepish…

Somewhere around the day I kinda-sorta officially (was forced to) retire from softball at the ripe old age of 45, was just about the day I quit fetching my glove to Major League games… I’ve beenta plenty.. Front row, last row, Right Field, Left Field, 1st base side, 3rd base side, upper deck, Club level, aisle, in the middle, you name it, I’ve sat there. I’ve been wedged inbetween 40,000 other souls, I’ve been to games where the announced attendance of 8,979 SURELY was about 6,000 too high…

And I’d never gotten a foul ball. (I ‘stole’ one from under the fence in Fort Myers, FL during Spring Training once - but please don’t tell no one ‘cause I dida blog where the last thing I ever stole was a bottle of cologne for my cousin after ma had given me five bucks to buy a Christmas present for him - I bowled 4 games with the five, and kiped the cologne. I said that was the last time I stole. Again, don’t tell no one. Was that a double negative?)

Sooooooooo… Royals vs. Indians… Midway through the 6th, raining cats and dogs… Drenched already, my 12 yr old niece and I decided to stay in our seat and await the rain delay… Rick Dempsey (the official MR FUN of Major League Baseball) comes out to entertain us diehards along the left field line. He was famous for his “tarp slides” during rain delays - but he was well along in his career - and, think his tarp sliding days were over…..

Nonetheless, he performs this vaudevillian/clown/act - and gets those of us sitting on one sidea the foul pole cheering against them folks on the others idea the foul pole. Whichever side, as deemed by Mr. Dempsey, was the loudest - got the prize in his hand.. A Major League Baseball. Age 30-something, I was frothing for the ball. IT’S MINE I thought….

Lo and behold, our side was the loudest - so he starts this goofy windup, has his hat tucked way sideways on his head, wheels his arm around seven times.. Wheels it back the other way eight times ---- wings his arm over as if to release the ball…. Doesn’t…. but he does flip it up into the crowd from behind his back. 1200 eyeballs watch. 200 hands held out.

My lap. The fugger lands in my lap. A Major League Baseball, bonified genuine cowhide… Very friggin’ legible signature of Commissioner Bowie Kuhn raht there upon it… Mine. All mine. What a wait. To think of all the near calls. All the (probably drunken) dives into benches.. All the “damn, if it’da JUST bounced this way.”

My lap. I have it. I feel it. I’m in heaven……………… Then, them baby browns sittin’ next to me lookup at me. Shit. The 1200 eyeballs that watched as ole Rick let loose peering in as if to say “do the right thing.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! IT’S MINE!!!! DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW MANY GD (GOSH DARN) THROWS AGAINST THE HOUSE WITH THE RUBBER BALL, FOR THE LOVE OF BASEBALL, I’VE GONE THRU TO EARN THIS? Do you have ANY idea how many GD (gosh darn) miles I put on my Schwinn traveling to and fro the City Park with my glove affixed to the handle bars?

NOOOOO!!! It’s NOT my firstborn, it’s my NIECE!!! She’ll forget by the time I drop her off at her house….. The baby browns looked up again…

Dammit. I’ma wimp. I can still see the little three pronged gold baseball holder trophy I envisioned for it. I’d have parties, and retell how I “knocked seven BIG dudes over to make my way to the ball.” I’d smell it. (You’da have to have played baseball to understand that one.)

But I gave it to her. It was probably lost when she moved six houses ago. Dammit. But, the kid won out.

So tonight… when that A-hole (said with love) within milliseconds handed his kid the ball… I felt guilt…

So… I stare at the reserved (empty) spot on toppa the Entertainment Center… and vow to carry on this 54 year quest for a Major League baseball. Nuh uh, even if I take my son now, he’s 22.. It’s dog eat dog, MINE.

(Victor, I admonish you frequently enough.. Today, I needta pat you on the back. For you've got two tickets (to Paradise) to the Chief's game Thursday night, and there were THREE, count 'em, THREE you considered inviting - but you came home and asked your son to go because he'd never been.... I toldya I felt guilty watching that dude hand the ball to his kid.... Please stop.. 'Cause having a spare Chief's ticket is almost like halfway to getting laid.)

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Memorial Day. I know it’s past. I know in rear view mirror. Tell me, waddayou think of when you think of Memorial Day? I mostly think of us selfish people who say “WOO-WHO” a 3-day weekend.. The beginnin’ of summer. Let’s rip. Let’s go. Let’s celebrate. Of course, I do think of older folks - and the cemetery. I think, due to the confusion of all this, we need to declare an “I Miss You” day.

Oft times, it’s virtually geographically impossible to visit all the graves of loved ones in a weekend, albeit a three-day weekend. I think we think too of what kinda flower to buy, how the ‘site’ looks, who else we remember that’s there…

An official “I Miss You” day. No graves to visit. No flowers to buy. We just stop, for one day - and we reminisce… we remember… we cry.. We visualize… we’re ‘with them’… there is no 3 day weekend - so we concentrate like hell upon those we miss. Nothing entrepreneurial about it. Nothing to spend. Only thoughts. Focused thoughts. We could even share those thoughts with those who we know miss them too…. We’d make phone calls.. Reconnect… Remember yesterday… Keep them ‘alive.’

Memorial Day started in 1860-something in Petersburg, VA due to a significant Civil War battle held nearby. It’s worthy. It should continue. Keep it. ‘Celebrate’ it. I, though, vote for the addition of “I Miss You” day.

All this passion, buildup has left me famished. I’m going to have a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Care for one? Oh, and raht after, goin’ to try to find my glove… Got 4 Royals tickets for next week. I ain’t too old for that am I?

Love, Victurd.